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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Do you ever...
have a decision to make and you just really don't know what to do?
That's me 
We don't know how many embies to put back for our FET. Well, actually *I* don't know how many. DH already has his choice.
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Posted 1/5/09 3:13 PM  |
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Re: Do you ever...
Posted by hayleyandsteve
have a decision to make and you just really don't know what to do?
That's me
We don't know how many embies to put back for our FET. Well, actually *I* don't know how many. DH already has his choice.
Welcome to my life. I am Miss Indecision.
What are the choices.
Lemme be a bit lawyer with you.
Give me the pros and cons of each choice. And what is DH's rationale for his choice.
You are making an incredibly hard choice-you can't be pushed into making a snap decision IMO.
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:16 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Do you ever...
I am the worst decision maker. I overthink EVERY piece of the puzzle - driving myself insane!!
I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Does your MD offer you any advice?
Try to follow your heart 
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:16 PM |
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Makin-da-baby
Praying so hard this is it!!!
Member since 4/08 1391 total posts
Name:
Undercover Lover
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Re: Do you ever...
Awwwwe 
I would make an old school list. Like pp poster said - list the pros, list the cons and go with your gut
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:17 PM |
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lolipep
My prayers have been answered
Member since 10/08 3642 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Do you ever...
making decisions are hard --especially ones like this
Like the PP said what has you Dr. told you?
 that the decision becomes easier for you
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:19 PM |
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4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Do you ever...
I think you have to go with your gut sometimes. Whatever your initial reaction/decision was the first time you were faced with this question....I think will be your best choice.
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:21 PM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you ever...
The choices are 2 or 3.
RE recommends 2, saying that if that doens't work.. then next time we can put back more. DH agrees with 2 but says that if it doesn't work this time, he's not sure we can afford to do it again (at least not for a little while).
My thinking is that if 2 didn't work for the fresh cycle... why would it work now?
DH is thinking we'll be pregnant with triplets.
I have a poll on IF about it and you can read a lot of the responses and opinions there.
Basically if we DID get PG with triplets, it could be very dangerous for me and the babies... and we'd have to consider "selective reduction" which is choosing to abort one fetus to give the others a better chance to live (but risks losing ALL of them).. But who knows if we'll get PG with triplets.
We could put in 3 and get PG with 3, 2, 1, or not get pregnant at all. You just don't know which is what makes it so hard to choose, IMO.
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:21 PM |
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MRSBA
LIF Adult
Member since 9/08 923 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you ever...
I agree with previous posts, go ahead make a FULL list and go over it with DH if it helps.
that the heartache and worry is over for you soon.....There are so many different factors that go into this kind of decision.....only you two will know what is "right" for you and whatever you decide, once this decision is made you will feel better
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:24 PM |
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Makin-da-baby
Praying so hard this is it!!!
Member since 4/08 1391 total posts
Name:
Undercover Lover
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Re: Do you ever...
Wow. That is so tough I guess only you and DH can make that decision
Whatever you both decide I hope this is it for you!
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:24 PM |
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MRSBA
LIF Adult
Member since 9/08 923 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you ever...
Posted by hayleyandsteve
The choices are 2 or 3.
RE recommends 2, saying that if that doens't work.. then next time we can put back more. DH agrees with 2 but says that if it doesn't work this time, he's not sure we can afford to do it again (at least not for a little while).
My thinking is that if 2 didn't work for the fresh cycle... why would it work now?
DH is thinking we'll be pregnant with triplets.
I have a poll on IF about it and you can read a lot of the responses and opinions there.
Basically if we DID get PG with triplets, it could be very dangerous for me and the babies... and we'd have to consider "selective reduction" which is choosing to abort one fetus to give the others a better chance to live (but risks losing ALL of them).. But who knows if we'll get PG with triplets.
We could put in 3 and get PG with 3, 2, 1, or not get pregnant at all. You just don't know which is what makes it so hard to choose, IMO.
Do you mind me asking how much your % chance increases between 2 or 3 back and what the % chance is of all 3 taking?
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:25 PM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you ever...
Oh actually I'm seeing this on my RE's notes:
With FET, the implantation rate for 1 embryo is 30%, 2 is 40%, and 3-4-5 is 50%.
The multiples rate for FET is 10% I think... as opposed to 40% in a fresh cycle.
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:25 PM |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: Do you ever...
If I read it right..if this month doesn't work with 2 that they'll put 3 in next month?? if that's the case..why not just do it this month. the risks are the same next month too??
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:26 PM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you ever...
Posted by Linda1003
If I read it right..if this month doesn't work with 2 that they'll put 3 in next month?? if that's the case..why not just do it this month. the risks are the same next month too??
I think that they are trying to be conservative - and if we added a failed FET onto our history, then they'd be more willing to put more back if that makes sense....
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:29 PM |
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Re: Do you ever...
This is a big toughie. You do have a small frame and the idea of selective reduction is 
It seems statistically that your chances of triplets if you put back three is not that high. But then again you had a moron for your first transfer. I think stats wise, you might be better with 3. I would sit down with your RE (not the moron) and go over percentages. Which is most likely to succeed and be safe? I know for malpractice sake they can't give you a definitive answer, but when looking at stats, it seems your chances improve with three embies.
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:30 PM |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: Do you ever...
Posted by hayleyandsteve
Posted by Linda1003
If I read it right..if this month doesn't work with 2 that they'll put 3 in next month?? if that's the case..why not just do it this month. the risks are the same next month too??
I think that they are trying to be conservative - and if we added a failed FET onto our history, then they'd be more willing to put more back if that makes sense....
aaahhh I think I get it!!!
It's so hard but my best advise is..stick with what the expert is saying. You as the patient is going off of emotion, the dr. needs to go off her expert opinion of what is best for you, no emotion in that.
good luck sweetie!!!
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:31 PM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you ever...
snowbunny said this which is pretty much how I feel:
This is one of those damned if you do and damned if you don't questions that suck
Go with 2 and if none take you'll wonder what might have been if you went with 3
Go with 3 and have all 3 take and you'll live in fear of hearing told you so and the complications that come with triplets
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:33 PM |
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MRSBA
LIF Adult
Member since 9/08 923 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you ever...
Posted by hayleyandsteve
Oh actually I'm seeing this on my RE's notes:
With FET, the implantation rate for 1 embryo is 30%, 2 is 40%, and 3-4-5 is 50%.
The multiples rate for FET is 10% I think... as opposed to 40% in a fresh cycle.
oh, I can see why this is soo hard now. My DH would be frightened of even the chance of triplets, and I would have a hard time with the reduction so that I wouldn't know what to do....but if it's giving such better odds to add the 3rd, I admit I would be really probably want to try it. Especially if money is starting to play a factor.......
How dangerous are triplets? Is there a chance if that actually happended (which doesn't seem as likely) that it could be dangerous for you?
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:35 PM |
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Angel321
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Member since 4/08 15553 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you ever...
while i don't know how many embies were put back for my BFF's sister in law....she is a small girl carrying triplets and is doing very well with it, so far.
she's maybe 5'8 and weighed no more than 115 - 120 (prior to pregnancy) if i had to guess (and even that is likely wrong, she probably weighs less).
I can email her if you like and ask her to reach out to you...if that would help you at all....as someone who has been through this (though i honestly don't know if she had to make any sort of a decision - i only know that the babies were not naturally conceived and are triplets).
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:41 PM |
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Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Eileen
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Re: Do you ever...
Wow, that is very difficult.
Can I ask (if you'd like to share) - do you personally have health issues that would make carrying triplets more dangerous for you than the average person? If so, it's a whole different ball game. If not, I think I'd go with three. It will be tough, you'll probably be on bedrest (not to mention pins and needles) some or most of your pregnancy but in the end, people do it and it turns out ok.
I wish you the best of luck, and peace with whatever decision you make
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:48 PM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you ever...
Posted by Leeners
Wow, that is very difficult.
Can I ask (if you'd like to share) - do you personally have health issues that would make carrying triplets more dangerous for you than the average person? If so, it's a whole different ball game. If not, I think I'd go with three. It will be tough, you'll probably be on bedrest (not to mention pins and needles) some or most of your pregnancy but in the end, people do it and it turns out ok.
I wish you the best of luck, and peace with whatever decision you make
Not that I know of! I do have a small frame though and just in general, triplets have higher risks since they are typically born early and often have low birth weights.
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:49 PM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you ever...
Posted by davenjess
while i don't know how many embies were put back for my BFF's sister in law....she is a small girl carrying triplets and is doing very well with it, so far.
she's maybe 5'8 and weighed no more than 115 - 120 (prior to pregnancy) if i had to guess (and even that is likely wrong, she probably weighs less).
I can email her if you like and ask her to reach out to you...if that would help you at all....as someone who has been through this (though i honestly don't know if she had to make any sort of a decision - i only know that the babies were not naturally conceived and are triplets).
Thanks.
I'll decline for now... but if we do end up being in a similar situation then I may take you up on that.
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:50 PM |
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Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Eileen
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Re: Do you ever...
Posted by hayleyandsteve
Posted by Leeners
Wow, that is very difficult.
Can I ask (if you'd like to share) - do you personally have health issues that would make carrying triplets more dangerous for you than the average person? If so, it's a whole different ball game. If not, I think I'd go with three. It will be tough, you'll probably be on bedrest (not to mention pins and needles) some or most of your pregnancy but in the end, people do it and it turns out ok.
I wish you the best of luck, and peace with whatever decision you make
Not that I know of! I do have a small frame though and just in general, triplets have higher risks since they are typically born early and often have low birth weights.
You're going to have FM in a moment...
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| Posted 1/5/09 3:52 PM |
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08BabySurprise
My Life. My Everything.
Member since 10/07 9151 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you ever...
Oh Hayley what a difficult decision. As some of the other ladies said - go with your heart. I know that isn't anything you don't know already and I know it's not helpful, but only you can make this decision because you are the one that will have to live with it and be Ok with it. GOOD LUCK SWEETHEART!!! I hope you make a decision that will make you AND DH happy
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| Posted 1/5/09 4:48 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Do you ever...
I would do 2 for now and see what happens
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| Posted 1/5/09 4:56 PM |
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JennyPenny
?
Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Do you ever...
I already spoke to you about this, but I just wanted to give you a million hugs!
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| Posted 1/5/09 5:01 PM |
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