Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

I got married last year and I have had a couple of people ask me if we were trying to have a baby- I feel so put on the spot (this includes immediate family). I usually just say were arent trying, but that we also are not trying- if it happens it happens. I think it is rude to ask that question- it is really no one's business whether we are TTC or not.
Its one thing to ask someone if they think they want kids, but completely different to me to ask if you are actively trying- I consider our sex life private.
Anyone feel the same? How do you respond?

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

We get asked sometimes about when we want to start having kids. I know my "ideal" timeline as to when I would like to become preggers but things can happen.

DH and I just tell people we want to be married a little longer first and own a house. Then we'll start worrying about a baby.

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

I just smile.. and nod my head. If they get too prickly with the questions, I'll tell them that I'll call them and inform them when it happens.. usually they get the idea and back off at that point..

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

even though we are, I tell them we arent, bc I dont want to have follow up questioning every month. Like "pregnant this month", "no, how about now", "now?", KWIM?

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

I have told ppl that we arent ready yet and will prob start trying in a year or two.

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

I usually just say we are in a whatever happens happens stage in our lives. I feel like it's a vague answer and it usually keeps people off my back

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

I say "When we are ready".

The problem is people dont REALIZE they are being rude. Its considered absolutly fine, in society, to ask when are you going to have a baby, or are you trying.

Even though its CONSIDERED fine, it doesent actually MEAN it is.

I would say to you that it IS perfectly acceptable to say " Its really not something I didcuss with anyone". Its a nice way of saying STFU. Or even "not for a few years". That WILL shut them up.

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

if i have learned anything at all from 13 months of ttc and 1 mc..it is to never ask someone again..so u trying to have kids?? bc i do not know if they have been trying for years or just lost a baby..and i know how hurt i was when people kept asking..like we r trying everything dumbas$

so when peoplpe ask once i just smile nod and said yea we r thinking bout it..second time i say didnt u ask me already..3rd i use the dreaded word infertility and they shut right up

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

people ask me all time. I get " Arent you ready for a baby" "Dont you want a little baby". DH & I have been married 4 years & i have been getting the question for 4 years. Since we have been trying i just respond "yeah we love kids and want them just not yet"
people are goin to be shocked when i tell them we are pregnant & prob think it was an accident.lol

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

I find when someone says they are going to wait a little longer before having kids and then they get pregnant they next question out of most people mouths is "was it planned?" which is another completely RUDE question...like what do people expect you to say "no my husband is retarded and forgot to wear a condom!" regardless of that fact that it seems impossible to PLAN anything in terms of when I'll eventually get pregnant...so my response when people ask if we're trying is "whatever God wants"....hopefully that will just end the conversation!

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

people are sooo freaking rude....

ironically before i got pregnant i didn't get many questions/comments but after being pregnant and having a miscarriage i feel like i've been bombarded by nosey people with questions about us having a baby...my husband got asked twice if i was pregnant by two seperate friends and he had to tell them no, that we were expecting but we lost it...i feel bad that even he is dealing with it

its rude and annoying when you just want to keep your business to yourself but i think its even worse if you are going through infertility or miscarriage (that people are unaware of) and you get the comments and questions b/c it really hurts

i don't know how to respond but i think its always better to say that you are not trying even if you are

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

Since I had a late loss, people all assume I am trying again. Thankfully MOST people are smart enough not to bring it up!

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

my uncle lives next door to my parents and he and his wife came over on my birthday for cake... and i was holding my nephew and hes like... oh and you, when are you gonna pop them out...

everyone just kinda stopped and stared at me, waiting for my response... (it was a month since the ectopic... i mean, i was still sensative... but he didnt know)...

and some how i didnt even have to answer my sister just started talking and it blew over...

no one else really asked...

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

When we first got married a few people asked us about kids but we were really young and were planning to wait 4-5 years before having kids so we just told people that and they left us alone.

Luckily we were never really bombarded with questions about TTC. Probably a combination of our jobs, the fact that we live in a 1br in the city, etc. In fact, people were very surprised when we announced we were pregnant and A LOT of people asked us if it was a planned pregnancy even though we had been married 2.5 years and together 8.5.

I think it is incredibly rude to ask people when they plan to have kids because you never know their situation. The few times it came up when we WERE ttc or already pregnant but not ready to announce was something along the lines of "we're thinking about it" If anyone pushed further than that I got a bit more abrupt.

Only one person (with a young child) told us they thought we should wait at least another year... once we were already expecting. We didn't say anything but I bet they felt like an asss when we shared our news shortly after

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

Posted by Nik211

Posted by PennyCat

Since I had a late loss, people all assume I am trying again. Thankfully MOST people are smart enough not to bring it up!

most people had no idea that i was even pregnant b/c i had an early loss...but i feel pressure from the people who did know - especially b/c those people knew it happned on our first month of trying, so i feel like they are always waiting to hear the "good news" again - nobody who knows has brought it up to me either (unless i talk about it) but i feel like most are assuming we've been trying the whole time since the loss when we haven't been....as time goes on i feel like they are starting to wonder what is going on...and that makes me feel uncomfortable...i can't believe its april, its been 4 months already ...

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

I go the three year old route and don't answer them but just ask them the same question. Here's an example.

Rude person #1: So when are you having babies.
Me: I don't know, when are you having babies

It doesn't really matter who asks, this answer always works.

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

I look at people like they're nuts when they ask. Most people ASSUME that's a definite "no"

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

I usually say "maybe later this yr or early next", "I don't know, well see.."

I went out to dinner w girlfriends a few months ago. I ordered sashimi and a seaweed salad (trying to be super healthy).
My 1 gf says, "oh are you ordering like this for a reason"
Me- yea!
GF- oh so you guys are trying already???
Me- uhhhh.. NO! I'm TRYing to lose weight!
GF-

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

I tell people we are just enjoying our time together right now. Maybe next year.

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

Posted by MrsCampos10-01-10

I usually say "maybe later this yr or early next", "I don't know, well see.."

I went out to dinner w girlfriends a few months ago. I ordered sashimi and a seaweed salad (trying to be super healthy).
My 1 gf says, "oh are you ordering like this for a reason"
Me- yea!
GF- oh so you guys are trying already???
Me- uhhhh.. NO! I'm TRYing to lose weight!
GF-

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

I just say...we're not trying, but we're not NOT trying. I like to be as vague as possible.

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

I always just said hopefully soon. That way they weren't sure if I meant hopefully we'd start trying, or I'd be pregnant soon.

Re: Do people ask you if you are TTC? How do you respond?

We would tell most people "maybe soon"

I do have an Aunt & Uncle that we joked with say "as soon as we find a sponsor"