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bettybcafe
Big brother in the making
Member since 7/07 8611 total posts
Name:
M
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DH in this whole TTC process
Does he understand the temping, OPK etc? When you get a positive OPK do you tell him, "Hey, we need to have sex tonight" or do you just seduce him and have sex without him knowing that you are fertile? DH and I got into a little argument last night. This is our first month TTC and perhaps I approached it the wrong way. I went up and said, Ok, I got my smiley. We have to have sex for the next 3 days. We did it the first day then the next day he didnt want to and said he doesnt like to have planned sex. Just wondering if you girls have had this proble,?
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Posted 10/26/10 11:02 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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MrsH2009
Thank you St. Gerard!
Member since 8/09 6631 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
 Yes, DH has told me multiple times I've removed the fun out of the process. I told him he removed the fun by even saying that and to just go with the flow. I don't get it, he always wants to  , it's not as if I'm torturing him.
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| Posted 10/26/10 11:14 PM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
MY DH was in on the process. I was able to tell him the days I was oing and the days we needed to and he was more than happy to .
He enjoyed knowing when the open window's were and all that. We did deanna's plan so we on a lot of days... more than just o days.
he was excited when i was o'ing.
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| Posted 10/26/10 11:19 PM |
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bettybcafe
Big brother in the making
Member since 7/07 8611 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
Posted by MrsH2009
Yes, DH has told me multiple times I've removed the fun out of the process. I told him he removed the fun by even saying that and to just go with the flow. I don't get it, he always wants to , it's not as if I'm torturing him.
Im glad Im not alone on this one. I even started to cry..he did apologize and we are ok now. I suppose I do understand his side of it, Im just the type of person that likes things to be planned but he doesnt. He wants it to just happen This is not going to be easy! Do you think maybe they feel pressured if we tell them that we are about to ovulate? I just found it kind of odd that he would deny me sex because of this He just wants to let things happen naturally but thats just not who I am. Grrr.. well thanks for letting me vent. and lots of  to you too
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| Posted 10/26/10 11:27 PM |
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bettybcafe
Big brother in the making
Member since 7/07 8611 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
Posted by MrsKS
MY DH was in on the process. I was able to tell him the days I was oing and the days we needed to and he was more than happy to .
He enjoyed knowing when the open window's were and all that. We did deanna's plan so we on a lot of days... more than just o days.
he was excited when i was o'ing.
Im glad to hear that your DH is understanding and willing to be informed. I have to keep working on mine
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| Posted 10/26/10 11:28 PM |
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mikeandjess
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 2278 total posts
Name:
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
My DH has the same outlook as your DH. According to him, he is not a "piece of meat". I beg to differ.
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| Posted 10/26/10 11:31 PM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
Posted by bettybcafe
Posted by MrsKS
MY DH was in on the process. I was able to tell him the days I was oing and the days we needed to and he was more than happy to .
He enjoyed knowing when the open window's were and all that. We did deanna's plan so we on a lot of days... more than just o days.
he was excited when i was o'ing.
Im glad to hear that your DH is understanding and willing to be informed. I have to keep working on mine
yea.. he just came like that... I didn't have to work on him on this topic...
laundry on the other hand... now that was a different story.... 
ETA: Honestly though.. I think my DH and the way he is about the whole process is somewhat out of the norm. Seems more DH's are the opposite way.... which I can understand.
Message edited 10/26/2010 11:44:32 PM.
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| Posted 10/26/10 11:43 PM |
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BeachGal
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 2827 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
I can relate. My DH hates OPKs, TTC talk, and LIF (no offense but he hates that I go on here).
He doesnt like BD to be planned either, he says that he can count and has knows the timeframe so I dont have to tell him everyday. We actually had this talk again last night during AF time so all pressure was off!!! I told him that he is a flight risk because he is constantly getting invites to games and events after work so I like to remind him because O day will be a lost thought if he is offered tickets for something. Its not that he doesnt want a baby - I am 100% sure of that because I see his disappointment when AF comes and he told me that he thought I was PG this month and that I looked beautiful. (My DH doesnt throw compliments around a lot - he is not mushy at all!) So dont think your DH doesnt want a baby, its just how some guys act unfortunately.
I'm sorry you cried yesterday. I have been there too, crying instead of BD'ing on smiley days so I know how you feel. My DH is a very stubborn and tough man, they just have no clue!
Good luck!!
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| Posted 10/27/10 6:05 AM |
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M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
Name:
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
Posted by mikeandjess
My DH has the same outlook as your DH. According to him, he is not a "piece of meat". I beg to differ.
my DH said the same exact thing! i had this little argument with him last week... and i cried too. then he felt bad that i was crying and i felt bad that he felt that way about the sex lol. he said he thought i just wanted to have sex to have a baby... instead of wanting to have sex with him. i didn't know men were so sensitive lol.
i'm a big planner too, but i can definitely see how this type of planning can put a damper on the moment. i continued doing the opk thing but didnt tell my DH anything about it... but he still continued to ask me every day if i got my smiley. men are confusing!
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| Posted 10/27/10 7:29 AM |
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ttcsecret
LIF Adult
Member since 9/10 1016 total posts
Name:
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
DH understands the week that we need to do it and when I get the smiley. He will ask every time I test did you get a smiley.
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| Posted 10/27/10 8:01 AM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
DH hated the whole process, he hated that it was so scheduled, every time I told him I got a smiley he'd get annoyed, bc he wanted to keep the fun in it
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| Posted 10/27/10 8:15 AM |
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BabyHopes15
Thank you St. G for my boy PJ!
Member since 5/10 1756 total posts
Name:
Aim
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
Posted by MrsH2009
Yes, DH has told me multiple times I've removed the fun out of the process. I told him he removed the fun by even saying that and to just go with the flow. I don't get it, he always wants to , it's not as if I'm torturing him.
I hear ya! My DH told me last night that I make it a chore now. I don't think he realizes it has lost its fun for me too a little. I think we had a great sex life before this, but I don't know how to go back to being that relaxed since the miscarriage.
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| Posted 10/27/10 8:29 AM |
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BabyHopes15
Thank you St. G for my boy PJ!
Member since 5/10 1756 total posts
Name:
Aim
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
Thanks Betty for bringing this up b/c I was super frustrated with DH last night. Good to know I'm not alone! I love these boards!
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| Posted 10/27/10 8:30 AM |
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limommer
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 1073 total posts
Name:
Meredith
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
It's funny because I will tell him that I'm ovulating and it's time to go he sometimes will say it's not sexy but ya know what? He never turns me down so he can talk all he wants
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| Posted 10/27/10 8:55 AM |
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JDC112010
He's my hamball :)
Member since 10/10 1419 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
SO knows more about ovulating than I do, apparently. LOL. He's a pretty good sport.
But he makes fun of me when I curl into a ball and prop my butt up. He's like, "What are you doing!?"
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| Posted 10/27/10 9:26 AM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
Shauns never said anything about taking the fun out of it... but he said he did feel different like he was under so much pressure... and it made him nervous!!
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| Posted 10/27/10 9:26 AM |
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CatNYC123
Happy Thoughts
Member since 9/10 1531 total posts
Name:
Cathy
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
Last month DH and I got into a heated argument about it. There's no fun in it anymore, blah blah blah. Honestly, it wasn't fun for me anymore either. Im so much more relieved when Im not Oing or in the 2WW bc I dont have to analuze anything. Im trying to take it easy this month and just focus on me and us... and whatever happens, happens. I resolved not to counting cycle days, or documenting symptoms... I got pg the first time like that... I hope I can get thru the whole month with that attitude.
you're not alone.. I think it happens to a lot ofus!
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| Posted 10/27/10 9:37 AM |
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BRod-Cheng
I'm going to be a big brother!
Member since 6/07 1860 total posts
Name:
Betty
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
The first few months I tired to just seduce DH.
This month, our fourth, I seduced him when I saw EWCM and then when I got the smiley two days later I just confessed and told him that I was sorry to be a drill sargeant but we needed to BD for the next couple of days.
DH is eager to for me to get pregnant so he was trooper. I don't know if he will be that way every time.
I think i will do my best to just let him think that he is getting lucky, and throw in that thing that I KNOW he likes so that he is eager to BD. 
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| Posted 10/27/10 10:47 AM |
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JackiePags
They're the love of my life
Member since 8/10 1299 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
Glad you brought this up b/c I just had this conversation with DH last night and yes we got into an arguement. We BD'd the day before my  (got it yesterday) and I wanted to BD last night....DH invites friends over and they stay late as usual and I have to go to bed....so he was supposed to wake me up and he never did and I took it as he "doesn't want to try" and he told me it was b/c he hates that its a chore and it'll happen when it happens...yeah right. I'm still mad at him...so insensitive.
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| Posted 10/27/10 11:14 AM |
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butterflygal
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/10 774 total posts
Name:
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
Actually he's very excited when I get my smiley. We are very sexual with each other without the whole baby making process, so when we BD when I'm fertile, it's just so much more exciting for him.
sorry some of you are having problems with this. This should be an exciting and fun time.
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| Posted 10/27/10 11:32 AM |
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Egg
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/09 627 total posts
Name:
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
i tried the scheduled thing last month, and he wasn't annoyed but lets just say couldn't quite take the pressure. so this month I'm not saying a word and just acting like i'm extra horny.
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| Posted 10/27/10 2:39 PM |
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bettybcafe
Big brother in the making
Member since 7/07 8611 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
THANK YOU LADIES I feel so much better now since I know Im not alone on this. I felt so bad like it was my fault or something. Men def are super sensitive...I never thought this would become an issue (esp. on the first month of trying!) I thought he would be happy to all the time. Guess I was wrong. I have to say, I completely understand his side...I mean cmon, who really wants intimate time planned out? What Im trying to make him understand is that there is a very small window for us to get pregnant and I cant just have sex whenever and hope that it happens. I mean, we can...but I cant take that chance. I like to schedule and plan everything. He just wants to take it easy...this is going to be veerrrryyy frustrating
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| Posted 10/27/10 5:15 PM |
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bettybcafe
Big brother in the making
Member since 7/07 8611 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
Posted by Egg
i tried the scheduled thing last month, and he wasn't annoyed but lets just say couldn't quite take the pressure. so this month I'm not saying a word and just acting like i'm extra horny.
This is exactly what Im planning on doing Dh says that I can keep temping, taking OPK etc...and when the time comes that I am O we will have sex but he doesnt really want to know about it he just wants me to come on to him This will be hard being that Im the one that NEVER initiates sex
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| Posted 10/27/10 5:16 PM |
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bettybcafe
Big brother in the making
Member since 7/07 8611 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
Posted by BabyHopes15
Thanks Betty for bringing this up b/c I was super frustrated with DH last night. Good to know I'm not alone! I love these boards!
You're welcome! I am actually quite surprised that so many of us have this problem. I feel so much more better now since I have support from all you ladies
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| Posted 10/27/10 5:18 PM |
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: DH in this whole TTC process
Mine HATES planned BD. Like absolutely HATES it. I have a feeling i'll be on this board awhile.
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| Posted 10/27/10 8:30 PM |
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