bereavement help

This is kind of personal but I was hoping maybe if I put it out there I would find some resources or something to alleviate some of the pain. My father passed yesterday. Totally unexpected. A massive heart attack. I am only 29 yrs old my father was only 58. I feel too young for this. I dont know whats next for me in terms of the bereavement process. I am really upset and I know I am not the only one but it seems that way. Has anyone been through this? How do U handle this? Do I go to a bereavement group or counselor? I am a good social worker with others problems dont know what to do with mine. If anyone has any info I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks in advance.

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i'm sorry for your loss

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Message edited 1/30/2009 9:40:37 AM.

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I am SO sorry for your loss. If you feel the need, go to a private counselor and then they can refer you to a group if you feel like sharing.

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I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prays. You can find a bereavement group through your local funeral home, church (or place of worship) and local papers.

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I'm so sorry for your loss.

How about calling your insurance and have them fax you a list of counselors?

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I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry for your loss.

My cousin lost her father (my Godfather) to cancer last year and she was only 25. She didn't join any bereavement groups or seek counseling but she did have a strong support system with her family so I know that helped. And I know she relied alot on prayer during the first few weeks.

I hope you can find some comfort in your family and friends during this difficult time.

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I am so sorry for your loss.
I know this is such a hard thing to go through. I lost my mom about 4 1/2 years ago. It was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. For a while, I really didn't think that I would ever feel ok again, but gradually, as Kelly said, I could think of her with happy tears instead of the terrible pain, and I could look at pictures of her without crying. Some days it still hits me, but mostly I feel happy memories - even though I will always miss her so much!

I considered going to a bereavement group, or seeing a counselor - but I just never did. I sometimes still wish I had, if only so I would have had someone I could talk to it about, without upsetting them. It was so hard to talk to my father b/c he was in so much pain, and DH (FI at the time) just didn't know what to do with me b/c I would come home from work and crumple on the couch in tears and there was nothing he could do or say that could help. I don't know where you are located, but this is a link to East End Hospice- they say they have bereavement groups for anyone on LI if you are interested. If you think you want to, you should try calling them. Even if you're not near there, they may have info on something closer to you.

http://www.eeh.org/ber.html

Again, I am so sorry, and if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here!
Like Kelly said, it used to annoy me so much when people would say it will get easier - I never believed it and sometimes I hated them for saying it, but it does get less hard - though the loss will always be there, the pain really will ease as time passes!

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I am soo sorry for your loss. I can not imagine how hard this is. There are tons of bereavement groups around and I am sure you will be able to find one easily.

But what I wanted to remind you is that you are supposed to grieve. As horrible as it is , this is your way of healing. So be upset, cry, yell do whatever you feel you need to right now. There is nothing that can take that away from you and it shouldnt be taken away. You have a right to all these feelings. So 's. Those may be the best medicine right now.

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OMG!! I am so sorry. My dad passed away suddenly from a stroke when I was 21- he was 55. (I'm 30 now) I know the shock and pain you are going through. Please feel free to FM me with ANYTHING!!!

You can call some hospices for counseling. Also there are therapists that deal with this. There are tons of support groups, in person and online, if that is something you are more comfortable with.

I hope you don't think I'm too forward, but let me leave you with some concepts that helped me when I was going through this.

I don't know what your dad was like, but if he was a good man, and if you had a good relationship you are truly blessed. I had a great dad for 21 years. Some people have parents their whole lives who aren't nearly as good, or around, as mine. Even though I lost something so precious so young, I was blessed to have had it in the first place.

Afterwards, I felt I would lose it at anything. I would cry at the smallest thing. Be kind to yourself. I went to a therapist a few times, who wasn't very helpful, but he said this- we all have a cup full of tolerance. When we are going through an emotional trauma, our cup is already half full- so don't be too tough on yourself.

He will always be watching you. On my wedding, and now that I am pregnant, and just random days I feel him. I know he is watching me and I still feel like he is a part of my life. He is always in my heart and in my life.

There are no words that can make this time easier. Just know you were blessed to have your dad for 29years. I can't tell you what I would give to have my dad for those extra 8 years- so he could have met my DH- or seen my neice being born, or me pregnant. Every day with your loved ones is a blessing.


I hope this helps.
Again, FM me for ANYTHING!!

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I am so sorry- I will pray for you and your family.
Just wanted to offer you hugs.

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I'm so very sorry

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I am so sorry to hear this!

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My thoughts are with you and your family.

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I am sorry for your loss

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You've gotten so much great advice here, I really cannot add to it any better

I just wanted to extend my condolences and express how sorry I am for your loss...

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Oh I am so sorry for your loss...the girls on here have offered great advice

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I am so sorry for your loss

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sorry about your father.

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I cannot imagine how you're feeling. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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i am so sorry for your loss

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I'm so sorry for your loss. My best friend lost her mom about 3 1/2 years ago due to the negligence of doctors. I'm not going to go into details, but she shouldn't have died. She was only 54 and my best friend was 27. My best friend has her moments, but from what she says, it does get easier. I think she's more angry than sad because of the mistake of these doctors. She's in the process of suing everyone involved to seek justice for what they did to her mom. She knows it will never bring her mom back, but she hopes to help others so this doesn't happen again. She never sought out bereavement help. I guess everyone has their ways of handling these sort of things.

Hang in there sweetie

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I am sorry for your loss....I lost my dad at 26. I was living in Spain, didn't even know he was in the hospital.

It was very difficult, I still miss him (this was in 1991). We all do. I don't have any suggestions but perhaps your local church or temple can suggest some bereavment groups.

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I completely understand what you are going through, as my mom passed away 2 months ago (2 months after my wedding). I feel as though im still in shock and have many of the same feelings and questions you do. i kind of want to go to a group but like u said i feel too young for this and most of the groups are comprised of middle-aged "children". anyway, if you EVER want to talk please feel free to FM me. I dont know anyone else who is going through the same thing so i would love to talk with u. My thoughts are with you.

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I am so sorry. I don't know of anyone that can help in this situation but I think it's a great idea for you to talk to someone. You have to let yourself grieve. With time it will be less painful but I know at this moment it feels like it will never get better. I am just so so very sorry. I wish you strength and peace at this incredibly difficult time.