AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

My daughter is 4 months old and needs to be rocked to sleep at all times. The doctor told me to let her cry it out because shes spoiled. I tried for 5 minutes and caved. She cries bloody murder, starts coughing up a lung, gasping for air, etc. So my question is..am i creating a monster? how do i put an end to this? I've tried soothing and putting her back but she cries again. Is it too young to let them cry?

AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

I never let my son CIO; but I think 4 months is still too early. I think they can't self soothe until about 6 months old? I nurse my son to sleep. He is 9 months old. He can definitely fall asleep on his own (or with a bottle) but typically he falls asleep during the last feeding before bed after his bath. I asked around before if this was causing a problem for him in the future (nursin to sleep) and a lot of people told me he'll grow out of it and soon not want to so to enjoy it while I can.

I personally hate when people say DS is "spoiled"

Message edited 9/30/2013 5:20:02 PM.

Re: AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

The longer you let the habit continue the harder it usually is to break. That said I don't do CIO before 5-6 months old. You do need to give it longer then 5 minutes to work though. Especially the first time and with all things parenting related consistency is the key. Once you start doing it you need to stick with it.

Message edited 9/30/2013 5:14:34 PM.

AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

If my ped told me to let my 4 month old cio, i'd be looking for a new pediatrician. You cannot spoil a 4 month old. I would establish a bedtime routine and stick to it every night. With both of my kids, I would bathe them then we would read books and then they would have their last bottle. Then they would be put down in their crib with music and their projector. I would start establishing a routine and she will get it soon enough.

Re: AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

Umm wow I can't believe your pediatrician said your 4 month old infant was spoiled.

CIO is a parenting decision and not something that your pediatrician should dictate IMO. don't let friends or family cloud your judgment either. Infancy is a very brief phase, and pretty soon you'll have a kid that you can't wake up in the mornings.

Look into the pros and cons of CIO and make a decision yourself.

Personally, I never did CIO with any if my kids and I don't regret it one bit.

Good luck!

Re: AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

NO WAY!!! They need to be rocked, and attended to at that age, and to learn that you are there for them. I'm not a fan of CIO, and I definitely would not try it before 8 months old. Don't feel like you're spoiling your baby! You're just meeting her needs, which is a positive thing!!!

AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

It is perfectly safe for a 4 mo to CIO. The parent may not be ready but it's safe for the baby.

Re: AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

IDK....

I am a pro-CIO mom, but 4 months? If you don't feel comfortable with it, I personally would wait. Some of the parenting advice I've been given by pediatricians has been ridiculous. For non-medical issues like this one I actually prefer the advice of other moms to the peds I've spoken to.

Re: AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

I would never call a 4 month old a spoiled brat. I do think they learn habits at this age though, so yes, if you keep rocking her to sleep she is going to expect it. It becomes a learned behavior for her to expect the rocking. You can start to wean her off your rocking by first having her rocked to sleep in the swing. Then you can transfer her to the crib. After that works, you could try having her fall asleep in the swing without it moving. Eventually, you would have her just in the crib. This would be a way to do it without having her CIO. However, IMO, 4 months is not too young for CIO and I have done a modified version of it already with my 4.5 month old. You have to do what you are comfortable with!

Re: AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

Re: AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

Message edited 9/30/2013 9:00:21 PM.

Re: AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

Message edited 9/30/2013 7:33:05 PM.

Re: AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

I highly suggest not using the CIO method...it breaks the bonds of trust youve been developing with your child. Babies feel alone and abandoned when left to CIO...plus at 4 months, shes probably crying for a reason (hungry, overtired, overstimulated, wet etc). There are other ways to help her learn to fall asleep on her own, without having to rock her...try reading the baby whisperer books...i have tried many of her techniques with my 3 month old and have gotten great results. all are gentle and do not involve letting your baby cry or be upset. good luck =)

AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

My son has STTN since he was exactly two months old and I rocked him to sleep forever. I sometimes still do for his naps, depending on circumstances, and he is 13 months! I am not against CIO but couldn't do it - it wasn't right for us. It might be right for the next baby but it just wasn't right for DS. Eventually (but he was pretty old - I want to say like 10 months) he just refused to be cuddled at night and was put down awake and the rest is history. It was almost like self-weaning for rocking. She's not spoiled - she's a baby. And a young one at that.

AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

IMHO, there is nothing wrong with rocking a baby and I def don't think you are spoiling your child by doing so. I actually loved rocking DD1. As a FTWM, that was our bonding time. You do what you feel is right!

AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

As I'm typing this I'm still rocking my 31 month old dd in her glider. She just likes the closeness and snuggles. She's asleep in ten min and I put her in her bed where she sleeps for 10 hours. It works for us.

Re: AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

No, your baby is normal. All babies do things on their own pace. At this point in his life he needs to be rocked. My ds slept in his swing for nearly four months. It is what he needed.

AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

My first thought was that your doctor is an idiot for saying a 4 month old is spoiled, it's nonsense. With that said, this is a parenting decision you need to make based on what you are comfortable with.

Re: AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

I personally think letting a 4 month old cry it out is wrong. That is way too young IMO.

Like a pp stated I would be looking for a new ped if they stated I was spoiling my 4 month old.

I don't believe in CIO and never did it with my DS - he is far from spoiled.

Re: AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

Depends... is your DD waking up multiple times a night needing you to rock her back to sleep? Or do you rock her and she sleeps long stretches?

If she's getting up multiple times then you are creating a bad habit.

I did CIO at 4 months because we had a nursing to sleep habit that was causing 3-4 wake-ups a night for soothing back to sleep because I never taught DS how to do it by himself. Worked like a charm.

Many do say 6 months and if you do have a problem and are willing to wait that long, then wait...

AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

You cannot spoil a newborn!!!

My mil used to always comment I hold her too much when she was a newborn and I asked my ped about this and she told me the above statement and to please hold her as much as possible all of the time and cherish every moment of it.

Dd is now 13mos old and her habits are constantly changing. Your dc will grow out of it and into something else. Leaving a 4mos old crying is so sad and horrible. They don't understand.

Re: AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

I think anything to do with cio is a personal parenting decision. only you know what is best for your baby; you're the one there with them.
I DID cio with dd when she was around that age... which I know is "too young" in some people's opinions... but I did what I thought was best for us at the time; it worked beautifully and I have zero regrets. that doesn't mean it's right for others - and it doesn't mean it'd be right for my next child. it's just the decision I made at the time.
I did ask my pediatrician for sleep advice at the time, at which he said I was a mean mommy for cio so young and that he holds his dd constantly. yeahhhh well... now on the cusp of turning one, he's still rocking his daughter to sleep and she's still not sttn. now he's jealous lol
i'm just saying that pediatricians don't know everything about everything. YOU know your baby. if and when you need to cio, you'll know when it feels right for you and your baby (but it generally takes way longer than 5min and yes, the older they get, the harder it is).
all that being said, I personally don't think it's possible for a 4 month old to be spoiled. I actually think anyone who claims that, is ridiculous.

Re: AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

I'd be interviewing new pediatricians ASAP! No way would I be listening to a dr who talked like that . You can't spoil an infant of that age.

My oldest dd loved being held or rocked in the swing until over a year. At 17 months we did CIO now she is an excellent sleeper but back than she needed us. My youngest is more clingy always has been. She loves to be held needs more cuddling and rocking. She is 15 months and loves to be held before bed but it's short about 10 mins and she is off. Eventually we will do CIO but no way at 4 months. Way to young IMO!

Message edited 10/1/2013 6:52:03 AM.

AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

No you are not. 4 months old is way too young for CIO I'm surprised the dr, would even suggest that...

Re: AM I RAISING A SPOILED BRAT?

i do not see anything wrong with rocking a 4 month old to sleep