Scared I'm raising a Brat

There....I said it. I was debating about posting this but decided why not, someone else out there has to have gone through this.

Jack was never big into toys. I always got him the newest toy out there (we literally have everything) and he never really played with everything that much.

Now, he is obsessed with farm animals, and you guessed it - ALL THINGS TOY STORY!

When he started pooping on the potty a few weeks ago he would get a toy every time. Sometimes he would get a bigger toy (Toy Story) other times something from the dollar section.

Now, he is out of control. All he says all day long is "Buy a Toy Story Toy" Over and over.

DH brought him to Toy Story on Ice again last night (his friend had $15 ice tickets) and he had a fit bc DH wouldn't buy him an alien stuffed animal (we just bought him 2 toys from there 3 days earlier - and a Buzz that is being saved for Santa)

I just feel he's a brat. My family is ridiculously generous. My friends make fun of me because I get gifts for holidays such as July 4th (seriously, I do )

Today is going to be a whole new world for him. I am making a vow to not buy him a single thing. I will also be avoiding the stores for errands with him bc that's when I get into trouble also. I wouldn't mind if he only wanted $1 item - but he doesn't - he wants very $$ things, and some he even has ALREADY

He has also seemed to regressed with Pooping on the potty so I told him that for everytime he poops in his pants he gets a toy taken away from him. If he poops on the toilet I will reward with Skittles from now on.

If you've come this far, thank you. And if you have been through this and had any advice at all I would truly appreciate it. There is nothing I would hate more then to have a bratty kid.

ETA: I told him yesterday that if he wants all new toys he has to throw out his old toys. He said ok. We got a big black garbage bag and started throwing all of his toys in there. He was happily doing it (and DH was going to kill me) but lucikly once I put his favorite in there (Slinky Dog) he said "No, new toys!" PHEW! That would have been interesting to get out of.

Message edited 11/15/2010 8:00:51 AM.

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

Well, it sounds like you have control of the situation! That would drive me crazy if he wanted something he already had...

I think by not buying him anything for now, eventually he'll just have to play with what he has. But try to stand your ground..I think it will work..

I am sure he is not going to be a brat, you care conscious of a problem arising, and are taking care of it!

Good Luck!!!!

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

I know it seems strange but is he quit possibly 3??? Teddy went through this period a little while ago and I was !!! Dh had an Idea (I know this seems mean but I swear it worked) We went to the store and bought a brand new toy...(no more than $30.00) and than we donated it to Toys For Tots (We mailed it in). Teddy at first was throwing a fit, but we explained that while we were lucky enough to have all the toys we do, that most kids don't. (We went through most kids don't have geo trax, buzz, etc.) We said that we were going to give this toy to some one who NEEDED a toy not WANTED a toy. KWIM? But even if you don't do this I am sure he will out grow this too. It just comes with alot of tantrums, and staying headstrong.

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

Posted by CookieMomster

I know it seems strange but is he quit possibly 3??? Teddy went through this period a little while ago and I was !!! Dh had an Idea (I know this seems mean but I swear it worked) We went to the store and bought a brand new toy...(no more than $30.00) and than we donated it to Toys For Tots (We mailed it in). Teddy at first was throwing a fit, but we explained that while we were lucky enough to have all the toys we do, that most kids don't. (We went through most kids don't have geo trax, buzz, etc.) We said that we were going to give this toy to some one who NEEDED a toy not WANTED a toy. KWIM? But even if you don't do this I am sure he will out grow this too. It just comes with alot of tantrums, and staying headstrong.

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

My ds is a brat. I'm not happy about it. It's our ( dh ) fault.

I'm the bad cop. Dh works like a dog, so the time he is home he CANT say no to ds. It counters everything I do all week, all day long. Makes me freaking crazy.

Ds is in the screeching stage now. Say no to him, he flips his sh!t, tell him get down, he flips his sh!t. He is becoming a pita. I hate it. Before I became a mom, I would read post on here and they would say things like " high spirited" and I would think your kid is a brat, face the facts. Now mine is, and I thought I was working really hard not to raise a brat. It's embarrassing when out and he has his "meltdown" I want to crawl under stuff I can't smack him, I can't yell anymore. I walk away and hope for the best. But sadly he is a brat. Dh buys him all sorts of stuff, for no reason. We don't need anymore toys, cars, blocks, trucks. Nada. Went to toys r us over the weekend, came home with 5 new cars. He screamed the entire time we were there. I just shake my head. I give up. Then I'm the mean mom. I would rather be the mean mom then the mom with the bratty kid out in a store. I spend half the week undoing the damage from the one day dh is home. It sucks.

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

Make him donate stuff Diana - seriously. These kids have too much and it is so easy for us to forget we are not bad parents when we say NO. They shouldn't get everything they want, it's not life. I just had Ryan box toys and saturday he and I dropped it at goodwill. I spent the whole time explaining how not every child has toys, a house, a mommy and daddy, etc. He really seemed to feel badly and gave me no problem when I had him carry a bag of stuff into donate.
Stay strong - for your own sanity (and wallet!) His own good
Xo

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

DD can be a bit of a brat. Ask Kara what happens when we leave school on Wednesdays and Fridays.

It's exhausting, but there are some things that it's easier to give in to then hear her scream and carry on for the rest of the day for.

I don't necessarily think your DC is a brat, he's 3. I think a lot of his behaviour is appropriate. It sucks sometimes, but it's the age.

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

Posted by saraH

DD can be a bit of a brat. Ask Kara what happens when we leave school on Wednesdays and Fridays.

It's exhausting, but there are some things that it's easier to give in to then hear her scream and carry on for the rest of the day for.

I don't necessarily think your DC is a brat, he's 3. I think a lot of his behaviour is appropriate. It sucks sometimes, but it's the age.

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

I think ALL kids are bratty at this age.

give yourself credit. at least you as his mother see it and want to change it or find a way to mitigate it.

I love the donation idea and also,,,just say no. he loves you. he will love you even if you say no. he may not like it, but he will love you. always.

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

we had a toy intervention a few months ago. DS was really getting too spoiled for me. He was expecting toys for everything.......and my family is very generous with him and he was getting toys for every little thing.

we donated some toys. i bagged up some stuff i wanted to donate anyway and then made him pick 2 toys to add to it. he was not happy at first but i kept telling him how there are little boys with no toys and he is going to make them happy. he really wasn't happy about it but he did it.

i told my dad and SIL (the biggest givers around) that they had to stop giving him a toy every single time we saw them. i told them while i appreciate it, he is becoming to just expect it when he sees them and doesn't care about seeing them for any reason other than a new toy.

and then.....we started the task of stopping buying stuff every time we are out. although honestly, i still buy him things. but he knows, he can pick 1 small thing in target.....whether its a matchbox car, goldfish, fruit snacks etc. he will look at toys he wants and ask if its small and i tell him no and he moves on to find something small.

it was hard at first, and i still think he is a little bit of a spolied brat but he is not nearly as bad as he was.

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

How about try a system where he earns a toy at the end of the week....like 15 stickers gets you a toy. Each poop is worth 3 skittles and a sticker, when he gets 15 (or whatever number he would earn by the end of 1 week ) he can cash them in for ONE thing

Maybe also give him an option...if he chooses to get a new toy for his stickers, he has to donate an old one. OR he could just keep the ones he has.

It's worth a shot

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

You are not raising a brat!! He is just getting used to certain things as rewards and being so little still, he is reacting to it...

You are doing the right thing.

And what i would do is explain to him everytime he asks for something is that "we don't get new toys all the time whenever we want them"...and start reserving toys for special occasions.


Even if he has a meltdown in a store..its ok! Wouldn't be the first kid to happen to. Just stick to your guns and it'll be fine..

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

Josh gets a lot of compliments. I use to counteract them and say well, he doesn't nap. Come to my house at 9:30 tonight. He was an advanced terror before age 2.

Now, I have learned to say thanks. I am taking josh's hardwork away when i offer a counter statement.

When people ask about josh's behavior, i simply say i am mean.
it is true, i am.
this kid is no brat at all. helpful, kind...leave a park and he is the only one of his friends that has to be asked once to come...but, his mom is mean.

but i feel like i really don't have to be mean anymore because he is trained. now we are at a happy medium. he is good, so i don't have to be mean.

good luck!!

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

waterballoons!! i tell you, with pooping, it worked!

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

DS used to walk in and out of TRU and not buy anything...it is getting harder but there has to be limits

I dont always buy something for him and when i do I give him a choice between 2 items I could afford

His newest thing is looking in the tons of catalogues that come in the mail saying "i want that!"----i say he needs to WAIT for xmas

x0x0x0---just limit it and I think he will be ok

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

josh thinks he is cutting out coupons with all the toys..lol...
walks around the grocery store looking for thomas trains

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

Welcome to my world. My DS is the same way. I really need to start being tougher with the "things" too. I admit that sometimes it's just easier (and less embarassing) to just buy him that $5 toy. But he too has come to expect something for nothing. We've been wrking on changing that. There are certain places (Target, Xmas tree Shop, Tai Kwon do) where he's used to get little trinket gifts/toys. I have started limiting it and telm, we're not buying any toys today. He doesn't like it, but he's been dealing. I try to remind him a few times before we walk into any of those situations.

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

My son is like that 95% of the time.
Finally I got fed up and have to be the bad guy. We shopping yesterday for things I needed to get the baby... so of course my older DS insisted he wanted something, so I told him, if I buy you something now, you'll get nothing on Christmas... do you want to be the only lil boy with no presents on Christmas?? That seemed to have worked and he would just point to toys he liked and said maybe for christmas mama.
DS is 3 1/2 yrs old.

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

I think buying him a toy every time he went to the potty may have backfired on you I would do a sticker chart. And maybe every time he gets 10 or 15 stickers he can pick out something SMALL, nothing expensive.

I dont buy my kids something every time we go to the store. Lately when we go, TJ will ask if he can buy something. I ask him first if he has any money to buy it than I explain to him he can't always get something every time he goes to the store. We haven't had any major meltdowns yet about it, thank god!

I dont think he is turning into a brat, I just think he now associates going potty or going to the store with getting something every time you go. I think it can easily be fixed if you nip it in the bud now.

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

If it makes you feel any better-I do not spoil with toys and my kids are still bratty! I want to rip my hair out about 10 times a day. If its not wanting a toy, its wanting a door open or a certain puzzle piece, or a book read upside down you get the idea. I'm no expert but I just keep trying to be consistent and not get irritated with tantrums.

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

what i did is get 1 really special toy for pooping and that was the ONLY time he'd get to play with it. so take a new toy or his favorite toy and every time he poops he can play with it for a little while, then it goes back on a shelf in the bathroom for the next time he uses the potty. i think taking a toy away when he poops in his pants is perfect!

i would give him verbal reminders that we are going to xyz store to get xyz and will be getting NO toys today so he is for-warned.

i also cycle toys which helps with the new/wow factor. i'll put several toys away for a few weeks and months and then take them out again and it's like a new toy for him again. it helps keep things fresh and helps with the clutter.

Re: Scared I'm raising a Brat

I cant even tell you how many times I almost posted this topic over the last month. DS has been a monster. I realized he turns into the whiney "I want" monster when we set foot in a store. I realized that I had to get everybody reformed bc DH & my mom are huge culprits too so I laid down the law with them. My mom had to restrain herself at Toy Story on Sat but I pointed out that he was perfectly happy with the one thing she bought him at the beginning and not to point out anything else. Good news is that after only a few weeks of being tough I'm seeing a change for the better. Elf on a Shelf has helped and now when he sees something he wants he says "Add it to my list!" but I have explained that Santa just picks something off the list I also said we have to give some of his toys to other kids who need them before Santa will bring anything else but we havent actually done it yet.

I know all about the poop tricks backfiring too... Nate knows all I want him to do is not hold it in so I made it a game that we jump up and down together when he's got to go so he cant cross his legs. Now when he jumps on the couch or his bed and I tell him to stop he says, "But I'm pooping!"