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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: WWYD - wedding gift related
So, I spoke to DH and told him that I understand why he feels we shouldn't give a gift, and part of me agrees, but that I don't think it's the right way to go about it and I don't think we should stoop to their level. I'd rather give a much smaller gift than we normally would, that way at least we're giving something.
He basically said, it's your family, whatever you want.
So, normally we would probably have given between $250 and $300. Based on that, and everything in my original posts, how much do you guys think?
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Posted 11/2/18 11:18 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - wedding gift related - UPDATE on pg 3
Posted by HomeIsWithU
So, I spoke to DH and told him that I understand why he feels we shouldn't give a gift, and part of me agrees, but that I don't think it's the right way to go about it and I don't think we should stoop to their level. I'd rather give a much smaller gift than we normally would, that way at least we're giving something.
He basically said, it's your family, whatever you want.
So, normally we would probably have given between $250 and $300. Based on that, and everything in my original posts, how much do you guys think?
I would give $100-$150
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| Posted 11/2/18 11:23 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: WWYD - wedding gift related - UPDATE on pg 3
Posted by HomeIsWithU
So, I spoke to DH and told him that I understand why he feels we shouldn't give a gift, and part of me agrees, but that I don't think it's the right way to go about it and I don't think we should stoop to their level. I'd rather give a much smaller gift than we normally would, that way at least we're giving something.
He basically said, it's your family, whatever you want.
So, normally we would probably have given between $250 and $300. Based on that, and everything in my original posts, how much do you guys think?
$150
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| Posted 11/2/18 11:23 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - wedding gift related - UPDATE on pg 3
I'd give $200 probably, no less than $150- you're still winning without raising any eyebrows. 
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| Posted 11/2/18 11:37 AM |
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jeanyus27
Life is beautiful
Member since 8/08 2543 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - wedding gift related - UPDATE on pg 3
I agree with $150
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| Posted 11/2/18 11:39 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10314 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: WWYD - wedding gift related - UPDATE on pg 3
$200
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| Posted 11/2/18 11:42 AM |
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Re: WWYD - wedding gift related - UPDATE on pg 3
Posted by mommyof3girls
You see, I see things differently. When did weddings become all about the money. For my wedding, I had people who attended and didn't gift anything and I honestly didn't care. I was happy to have all my family there. I of course would never go to a wedding without a gift. Why would I lower myself to their same level. Gift what you can and go enjoy yourself.
Agree. Also, unless you pay their bills, you don't know what their financial situation is, even if his mother says they're 'comfortable', doesn't really mean anything.
And they don't have kids, so they probably wouldn't attend a first birthday party, so that whole thing wouldn't offend me. I don't think they blew you off there
I don't mean to sound harsh, but if you really are that hung up on it, you should have RSVPed no.
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| Posted 11/2/18 11:44 AM |
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WWYD - wedding gift related - UPDATE on pg 3
I'd do $200. I feel like it's less than you would normally give, but still enough that you don't look like you're being cheap.
I feel like trying to make a point will be lost on your cousin, and you don't want it to be twisted to look like you're just being cheap. I remember once reading a article about waiters/waitresses that said when they get a bad tip, they don't take it as a reflection of the service they provided, they just think the customer is cheap/a bad tipper. I feel like this situation could be analogous and your cousin will just think you're cheap instead of he's an ass.
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| Posted 11/2/18 11:46 AM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: WWYD - wedding gift related - UPDATE on pg 3
I would give $150 too. I wouldn't want to upset my aunt by giving less than that. I had a similar thing happen to me. Years ago, my cousin attended my wedding with a girlfriend and no gift. He just got married and luckily I couldn't travel for the destination wedding (because I couldn't get off work). I sent $50 in a card. I was going to send a gift off the registry, but I couldn't be bothered even looking. My time is worth more lol.
Message edited 11/2/2018 11:55:43 AM.
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| Posted 11/2/18 11:53 AM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE
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WWYD - wedding gift related - UPDATE on pg 3
$150
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| Posted 11/2/18 12:01 PM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: WWYD - wedding gift related - UPDATE on pg 3
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by mommyof3girls
You see, I see things differently. When did weddings become all about the money. For my wedding, I had people who attended and didn't gift anything and I honestly didn't care. I was happy to have all my family there. I of course would never go to a wedding without a gift. Why would I lower myself to their same level. Gift what you can and go enjoy yourself.
Agree. Also, unless you pay their bills, you don't know what their financial situation is, even if his mother says they're 'comfortable', doesn't really mean anything.
Actually, despite my previous post, I really agree with this. I was just talking with a family member and they were telling me that a few years ago, they had a lot of financial hardships, to the point where they would take home food from parties, just to have food to eat. I had no idea. I always thought they were well-off. It got me thinking, and there have been times that DH and I have struggled financially, but we never told anyone, not even my parents, siblings, or best friend. I guess we put a lot of effort into keeping up appearances. So, it's very true that you never know someones financial situation.
I would rather family come and celebrate than skip something just because they can't afford it. I even gave back one check because I knew the person that gave us that wedding gift was struggling. It definitely wasn't about the money for me.
My one cousin just irks me because he is an all around jerk. His attitude is horrible, he's super aggressive and everything he says makes people uncomfortable. So my previous post about giving my cousin $50 and calling it a day takes that into consideration. If I liked him more as a person, I would have treated the situation differently.
If you really like your cousin and it's just the money that bothers you, I would gift more normally, it sounds like you don't though lol. So, I'm still going to say $150 - $200 at the most
Message edited 11/2/2018 12:12:32 PM.
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| Posted 11/2/18 12:08 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: WWYD - wedding gift related - UPDATE on pg 3
150 or 200.
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| Posted 11/2/18 3:53 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - wedding gift related - UPDATE on pg 3
I would do $100. You can say you gave something but then it's still sort of like an f u but its not an amount he can complain about OR at the very least, make sure you aren't covering your plates and they can count you guys as a loss. (I'm super petty LOL)
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| Posted 11/2/18 5:11 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: WWYD - wedding gift related - UPDATE on pg 3
I wouldn't do more than $150
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| Posted 11/2/18 7:12 PM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: WWYD - wedding gift related - UPDATE on pg 3
Thanks everyone! We went and gave $150 and had a great time!
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| Posted 11/5/18 9:02 AM |
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