Re: Grudges - Spinoff: High School enemies

Re: Grudges - Spinoff: High School enemies

I don't hold grudges, esp back to HS. I never had a problem with anyone, but a person or two had a problem with me (bs boyfriend related issues). I have no idea how they would feel to this day, esp being they were so immature back then...so ya never know.

But me personally, *I* never had an issue with anyone. But still some people I would rather not see in general, b/c you never know how they feel and if they hold grudges. Or I just have no interest in seeing them so I am glad I don't.

Message edited 3/7/2008 1:57:41 PM.

Re: Grudges - Spinoff: High School enemies

I was made fun of all of my school years. Very Very Badly.

I do and always will hold a grudge on those that made fun of me. It ruined all of my school years.

Re: Grudges - Spinoff: High School enemies

I don't think of it as grudges so much, but I think that how someone is treated in school (and HS) can definitely affect the adult they become- for better or for worse.

As someone who was teased a lot in school, I have to say it had a strong affect on the person I became. I knew I would conform to being like everyone else. I wolud never be the cute, petite, blonde cheerleader, so I decided to embrace that and become my own person. When I went off to college, I met a bunch of people who celebrated me for being me, even though I was different from them. And it was the journey of self discovery for myself and I became truly happy with the person i was- and I still am.

But I have seen how that same teasing in school has affected others, to their detriment. As an adult, they still want to be friends with the "cool kids", always overcompensate with thier appearance, and if people are getting together without them, they still wonder if its something they did to alienate the others. That person is always beating themselves up over things that just don't deserve a second thought. Its not like this person holds a grudge against anyone in particular, but it did affect the adult they became.

Message edited 3/7/2008 2:10:19 PM.

Re: Grudges - Spinoff: High School enemies

Another thought - I have really bad feelings about my very first lover. He was evil. I want nothing to do with him. I want nothing to do with his friends. I get very agitated when I hear his name or anything that I associate with him.

Having said that... I don't wish him bad. I mean that. I honestly hope that he became a better human being. I honestly hope that he realized that the things he did to me are unacceptable and that no person should be put through that and that he NEVER does it again to anyone else for the duration of his life. I hope he has a good life and that in living that good life he is treating people with respect and love.

But I - personally - never want to see him again.

Re: Grudges - Spinoff: High School enemies

i agree with the poster who wrote with not holding grudges, but rather perceptions.
if you show me you are a certain type of person, be it in high school or wherever - than that is what i will think of you until i am proven otherwise.
there is a particular group of girls that i did not get along with in high school (what the reasons were, i honestly don't remember) - i have seen the group numerous times throughout the years at bars etc and they have always tossed dirty looks etc. what prompted my post about HS enemies last night was that i signed up for a kickboxing class with 2 of my girlfriends and who of all people are there, but 2 of the girls from this group.
i don't remember why we didn't get along, nor do i care... i wouldn't call it a grudge, because i truly don't care about what they do or what happens to them either way. but at the same time, i'm not going to be fake and say hello either, just because 10 years has passed since high school. i just act as though i never knew them.
i never wish ill-will on someone... i don't wish death or any form of tragedy... but if i ran into one of the girls and she was 50 pounds heavier, i would i think that's human nature sometimes.

Re: Grudges - Spinoff: High School enemies

Re: Grudges - Spinoff: High School enemies

Well, can I answer from the point of view of someone who was quite often the nasty one in high school?
I'm not proud of who I was when I was in high school, but I was nasty. I was nasty and negative and b-tchy, and mean and loaded to basically tear anyone down who got in my way. The thing is, it was my defense mechanism. I didn't target people and make fun of them or pick on people for what they looked like, but I had a bitter, nasty attitude because people did that to me. I acted like I didn't care about anyone or anything, when the real issue was that people were so nasty to me that I wouldn't give anyone in my school a chance. That being said, I'm light years away from being that person now. I have recognized my insecurities and gotten over them and realized just how much I missed out on back then because of my fears. I actually can form real friendships now and the fear of being hurt by someone doesn't completely cripple me anymore. I would absolutely hate it if someone held a grudge against me now for who I was in high school because I am not even remotely the same person. Like I said, I didn't walk around picking on people, but I had a real chip on my shoulder and had a real nasty attitude. I scared people. Now, I have amazing friends who, ironically, I graduated high school with, and to hear what they thought of me back then is just so sad. I was rumored to be a drug addict who failed all her classes, when the truth was that I was a straight A nerd underneath it all who has never touched drugs in my life. Anyway, that's my story. I don't hold grudges because people do change, and what has happened in the past has shaped me into who I am today, and I would hope no one would hold anything against me now.

Re: Grudges - Spinoff: High School enemies

I was picked on in 7th grade b/c I was flat. I used to get upset, but now when I think about it most of the 7th grade was flat. I am not flat anymore. lol.

I don't hold any grudges and I wasn't teased in high school. I had my own group of friends and was friends with most people, but I wasn't popular, I was normal. I was also stoned for most of high school, so TBH I wasn't completely aware of what was going on...

Re: Grudges - Spinoff: High School enemies

well, I was ragged on big time throughout my public school years.....

I hold no 'grudges', really. I don't do anything in my current life to compensate for things they declared me to be inadequate.

However, I still think that they were obnoxious ill-behaved children. that impression doesn't change. I've heard from close friends who have bumped into some of them in adulthood that they remain as shallow and caddy as they were 15-20 years earlier.....

there are so many friendly well-adjusted people in this world.... why on earth would I spend one Calorie on a conversation with people whose personalities have left such a negative impression on me? If I ever bumped into one of them, I'd dismiss them without a further thought. I suspect they would also dismiss me anyway.......

Re: Grudges - Spinoff: High School enemies

I dont see anyone I went to HS with except one person. I didn't have "enemies." I was simply bullied.

Regardless of how long ago I finished HS and the endless tauntings about who I was and what I looked like, it left a lifelong impression on me of the people who did it. I remember faces and names. When it happens on a daily basis, you dont forget. I guarantee that if I came face to face with these people which I will be this summer at my 20 year reunion, they would be lovely and cordial towards me.

I may be very shallow for thinking and saying this, but nothing would be more gratifying than to see the look on the faces of those who were hurtful towards me so they can see who I have become. That would be enough. I have no need to rehash old times and remind these people of what they did - they know. I will make no apologies for wanting my time to shine.

Message edited 3/8/2008 10:05:57 AM.

Re: Grudges - Spinoff: High School enemies

Message edited 3/8/2008 1:15:50 AM.