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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Weight gain/marriage debate
Posted by bomb-blast
IMAGE
And I'm done....
That look is not cute on ANYONE, fat or skinny 
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Posted 11/1/07 12:58 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Boobobunny
Live in the Present
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
Dannielle
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Re: Weight gain/marriage debate
I wouldn't purposly (sp) let myself go...really for my own self esteem more than anything else...but no matter what my efforts are, nature is going to take its corse. I will get wrinkles, it will be harder to keep weight off as my metobolism changes with age. Our bodies changing is really the inevitable.
Dh and I always joke around about getting old. stuff like, will you still love me when_____ happens. and the answer is always..."I'll love your fat a$$ to the edge of the Earth and back"
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| Posted 11/1/07 1:16 PM |
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FRAPPALICIOUS
sexxxxxy
Member since 10/05 2236 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Weight gain/marriage debate
I'm sorta in this scenario right now. My DH claims that he is no longer attracted to me.. yet he has gained ALOT of weight since we got married, and I would never say I wasn't attracted to him anymore, because I still am... regardless of his weight gain. The sad part is, I've NEVER been skinny.. so even with the weight I put on since we got married, I still look like ME.. and I THOUGHT I was married for who I was on the inside... needless to say, I was wrong! I wouldn't blame him for saying what he said to me, had I gained like 50 lbs.. but that's not the case. I am happy with who I am and I'm not about to change that for him. I told him that one day he will look back and think "Damn, I made a mistake".. but when that happens I will be with someone that accepts me for WHO I am and not what I look like 
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| Posted 11/1/07 1:18 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Weight gain/marriage debate
Posted by FRAPPALICIOUS
I'm sorta in this scenario right now. My DH claims that he is no longer attracted to me.. yet he has gained ALOT of weight since we got married, and I would never say I wasn't attracted to him anymore, because I still am... regardless of his weight gain. The sad part is, I've NEVER been skinny.. so even with the weight I put on since we got married, I still look like ME.. and I THOUGHT I was married for who I was on the inside... needless to say, I was wrong! I wouldn't blame him for saying what he said to me, had I gained like 50 lbs.. but that's not the case. I am happy with who I am and I'm not about to change that for him. I told him that one day he will look back and think "Damn, I made a mistake".. but when that happens I will be with someone that accepts me for WHO I am and not what I look like
good for you, screw him 
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| Posted 11/1/07 1:19 PM |
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dgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/07 1079 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Weight gain/marriage debate
Posted by FRAPPALICIOUS
I'm sorta in this scenario right now. My DH claims that he is no longer attracted to me.. yet he has gained ALOT of weight since we got married, and I would never say I wasn't attracted to him anymore, because I still am... regardless of his weight gain. The sad part is, I've NEVER been skinny.. so even with the weight I put on since we got married, I still look like ME.. and I THOUGHT I was married for who I was on the inside... needless to say, I was wrong! I wouldn't blame him for saying what he said to me, had I gained like 50 lbs.. but that's not the case. I am happy with who I am and I'm not about to change that for him. I told him that one day he will look back and think "Damn, I made a mistake".. but when that happens I will be with someone that accepts me for WHO I am and not what I look like
Good for you!!! I am sorry you have to go through that. 
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| Posted 11/1/07 2:46 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Weight gain/marriage debate
Posted by stephanief
seriously !!!
I guess it is okay for some and not for others
you're late, Steph.
In any event, I felt judged and that my feelings/life/opinions were being attacked.
since neither of you were in the convo, perhaps you did not feel the same.
to Frappalicious
I don't think anyone on this thread would want to hear that from their SO, or thinks that it's right to end a marriage for something like that.
I KNOW personally how much hearing something like that hurts. I also KNOW personally that this happens sometimes, for various reasons...many of which have nothing to do with the hurt party.
Whether or not you guys work through this or you find happiness alone/with someone else, I wish you the best.
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| Posted 11/1/07 3:00 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Weight gain/marriage debate
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by stephanief
seriously !!!
I guess it is okay for some and not for others
you're late, Steph.
IMAGE
fm
Message edited 11/1/2007 6:55:13 PM.
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| Posted 11/1/07 6:38 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Weight gain/marriage debate
Posted by bomb-blast
IMAGE
And I'm done....
I don't understand the point of this post. What exactly does it have to do with the original poster's questions? 
FYI, There ARE men out there who do find plus sized women attractive.
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| Posted 11/1/07 7:15 PM |
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Superkat
More a stranger than a friend
Member since 5/06 9730 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Weight gain/marriage debate
Posted by Jennie0898
Posted by bomb-blast
IMAGE
And I'm done....
I don't understand the point of this post. What exactly does it have to do with the original poster's questions?
FYI, There ARE men out there who do find plus sized women attractive.
The point was shock value. No additional value add.
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| Posted 11/1/07 7:20 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Weight gain/marriage debate
Posted by babybug631
Do you think there is a point in a relationship, if someone dramatically changes physically, that it is unacceptable???
no.
Obviously, we are not all going to look like the hotties that we all are now forever.  We will all age and change eventually.
I agree.
But do you think it's fair to let yourself go??? Or would you mind if DH dramatically let himself go??? Would you say something to him?
I don't think it's a matter of fair or not. I would mind if it threatened his health. I look at "letting go" to mean anything harmful to his body or psyche. Yes, I would say something to him if he was destroying himself. I would say something out of concern for him. Please keep in mind I'm NOT strictly talking about weight gain.
I can't help but wonder. I have tried to keep myself in shape and looking as decent as I did when DH and I first met. I've gained a few lbs. But how many is too many??
Too many IMO would be a personal decision. I guess when you start to feel unhealthy or bad about yourself, you've hit the "too many" mark.
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| Posted 11/1/07 7:21 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Weight gain/marriage debate
Posted by Superkat
Posted by Jennie0898
Posted by bomb-blast
IMAGE
And I'm done....
I don't understand the point of this post. What exactly does it have to do with the original poster's questions?
FYI, There ARE men out there who do find plus sized women attractive.
The point was shock value. No additional value add.
Thank you for the clarification oh SuperWiseOne. 
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| Posted 11/1/07 7:22 PM |
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MrsT
Enjoying wedded bliss.....
Member since 4/06 1323 total posts
Name:
Katrina
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Re: Weight gain/marriage debate
Posted by babybug631
Do you think there is a point in a relationship, if someone dramatically changes physically, that it is unacceptable???
Obviously, we are not all going to look like the hotties that we all are now forever. We will all age and change eventually.
But do you think it's fair to let yourself go??? Or would you mind if DH dramatically let himself go??? Would you say something to him?
I can't help but wonder. I have tried to keep myself in shape and looking as decent as I did when DH and I first met. I've gained a few lbs. But how many is too many??
ETA I'm not talking about the end result of divorce. I'm just asking, do you think it's fair for you or DH to let your appearance dramatically change like that???
My DH is a gym rat of sorts and I am quite confident that he won't ever purposely let himself go. DH has reminded me that his dad, uncles and brothers who range from 30's - 70's are all still in great shape.
We would not divorce over weight gain but we both do expect the other to try to stay in shape unless there is some medical reason preventing it i.e., a male friend who was injured on the job and can no longer lift weights.
I had this discussion with DH before and asked him what he would do if I gained 20 - 50 lbs to which responded he would diet & work out with me (he was a personal trainer a while back).
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| Posted 11/2/07 11:56 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Weight gain/marriage debate
I love my husband unconditionally. No matter what he looks like I will forever love and adore this man.
The way he has taken care of me and JAG thru our major illnesses over the last year has made me realize as much as I THOUGHT I loved this man, I love him even more. It's such a deep seeded love that I don't even know if I can explain it. Turn him pink, or orange, change his hair, take his hair away, make him 100 pounds or 1000. I will love him just the same.
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| Posted 11/3/07 1:46 AM |
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Little-J-Mommy
I'm a Big Brother
Member since 5/06 8041 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Weight gain/marriage debate
Posted by DebG
I love my husband unconditionally. No matter what he looks like I will forever love and adore this man.
The way he has taken care of me and JAG thru our major illnesses over the last year has made me realize as much as I THOUGHT I loved this man, I love him even more. It's such a deep seeded love that I don't even know if I can explain it. Turn him pink, or orange, change his hair, take his hair away, make him 100 pounds or 1000. I will love him just the same.
Beautifully said!!!! DebG...you never disappoint with the words of wisdom straight from the heart. ITA and 's to you and your fam!!! You are truely blessed with a stellar family
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| Posted 11/3/07 9:00 AM |
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Ltdentway99
LIF Adult
Member since 9/06 1752 total posts
Name:
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Re: Weight gain/marriage debate
This is really hard to say because my DH and I are still the same size. I think what happens is that you still stay attracted to the person as you get older because you remember them as they were when you first met them. Sort of like how every time I look at my little brother, who is 25, I still think he's 12. I don't see him as a man. I think the same is for married couples, as you grow older you are never going to really look at the person objectively, as someone would who just met them. Hence, the attraction will still be there.
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| Posted 11/3/07 10:38 AM |
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sirmay
LIF Infant
Member since 10/07 95 total posts
Name:
william
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Re: Weight gain/marriage debate
Well i never have that problem with dw she always manages to fit into a size 2. But i know that if i gained another 10 pounds i would be out that door.
 
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| Posted 11/3/07 1:26 PM |
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