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dianadrw
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 2092 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
Posted by LiveForMoments
I totally get where you are coming from, even though I never let nap schedules dictate our attendance at events. BUT, life is so short, and time with family is so precious. Your child is lucky to be able to celebrate another birthday with her grandfather. Go. If she gets crazy, leave, but don't miss it for something as insignificant (in the grand scheme of things) as nap time.
Just my opinion, of course. You have to do what's best for your family.
Perfectly said. Life is short.
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Posted 5/23/17 10:48 AM  |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
Name:
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
I'm a stickler with naps but I'd go and not expect them to change the meal. I would have DC nap in a pack and play at their house. IMO kids need to get used to doing that. I made a mistake with my first not doing that.
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| Posted 5/23/17 12:25 PM |
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Tiggeruth
I am a mom :-)
Member since 6/06 3433 total posts
Name:
Heidi
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by Katareen
I would go but I've never ever revolved my life around naps.
Same.
This.
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| Posted 5/23/17 12:46 PM |
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pnbplus1
Family
Member since 5/09 5751 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
I totally planned my life around my DS1's naps. I never had to deal with an overtired child and he always was and still is (at age 7) an amazing sleeper. His sleep was important to me. People had a lot to say about it but I didn't give a sh*t.
If lunch starts at 12, I wouldn't go at 12. I would put your DD down at her normal time or a little earlier if possible (15 minutes), and then I'd wake her at the 1.5 hour mark. If she sleeps 12-1:30 you can be there by 1:45 or even 1:30 if she goes down earlier. You'd miss lunch but maybe catch the end of the event. If not then I'd just not go.
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| Posted 5/23/17 9:13 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
Posted by dianadrw
Posted by LiveForMoments
I totally get where you are coming from, even though I never let nap schedules dictate our attendance at events. BUT, life is so short, and time with family is so precious. Your child is lucky to be able to celebrate another birthday with her grandfather. Go. If she gets crazy, leave, but don't miss it for something as insignificant (in the grand scheme of things) as nap time.
Just my opinion, of course. You have to do what's best for your family.
Perfectly said. Life is short.
This
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| Posted 5/23/17 9:46 PM |
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TooSoontoTell
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/11 501 total posts
Name:
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
I also never revolved my life around naps. It's just not possible and it's too militant to me to tell people you can't do something because of a nap.
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| Posted 5/23/17 11:35 PM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
I never planned my life around naps, but my kids hated their cribs and got used to sleeping on the go from early on. They have also been easy to transfer while asleep from the car to our arms, stroller or a bed. I wouldn't miss a family event because of nap time. You could always try to push the nap up and arrive a little late.
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| Posted 5/24/17 3:31 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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to compromise or not to compromise...
Another mom here that has never planned according to naps. Once you start that craziness, then of course your child will be a monster without their scheduled nap in their crib.
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| Posted 5/24/17 7:21 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
I guess maybe it was a good thing that DD didn't sleep ever for the first year of her life. Saved me from those pesky naps you all speak of!! 
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| Posted 5/24/17 7:28 AM |
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LInMI
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 1801 total posts
Name:
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
I would go and bring the stroller in the house. Let her fall asleep there.
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| Posted 5/24/17 8:13 AM |
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jamnmore
LIF Adult
Member since 6/16 989 total posts
Name:
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
Posted by LiveForMoments
I totally get where you are coming from, even though I never let nap schedules dictate our attendance at events. BUT, life is so short, and time with family is so precious. Your child is lucky to be able to celebrate another birthday with her grandfather. Go. If she gets crazy, leave, but don't miss it for something as insignificant (in the grand scheme of things) as nap time.
Just my opinion, of course. You have to do what's best for your family.
I would agree with this. My mom passed when my son was 6 months old. I have no dad. DH's parents are not in the picture. Hence DS has no grandparents. I would never pass up the opportunity to spend time with them for a nap. For the 6 months my mom was sick, DS saw her everyday once he was out of the NICU at 7 weeks but she was so sick I only have 1 picture of the 2 of them together.
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| Posted 5/24/17 11:28 AM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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to compromise or not to compromise...
I would go and not worry about her nap. Like others have said, life is way too short. I would push her in the stroller for a bit until she fell asleep or tough it out for a bit and then leave early if she was inconsolable or didn't pass out.
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| Posted 5/24/17 12:02 PM |
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nraboni
Uggh...
Member since 10/09 6905 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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to compromise or not to compromise...
I am a stickler for naps - especially with babies that young. Now that my little one is close to 2, I am not as rigid.
That being said, can you bring a pack and play and have the baby nap in that. Get to the in-laws around 11:45 so you have time to say hello and set up the pack and play. Even if the baby only naps for an hour instead of the usual 2 - it's still better than nothing.
Message edited 5/24/2017 1:36:53 PM.
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| Posted 5/24/17 1:36 PM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
If something starts at the time my kids would normally nap, I would go to the event/party. If its at a time when they would already be asleep I would either not go or come later.
On Mother's Day my mom wanted the family at her house at 2:30. My twins will be napping at that time so i told her I'd be there 3:30. They don't have to change the time for me but that's what time I'll be there. My kids do NOT sleep at night so naps are important for them and our sanity! 
ETA:
My life doesn't revolve around naps at all but some children are completely miserable without naps. My kids could not sleep the whole day and be as pleasant as ever  but not all kids are like that.
I've reached the point in my life where I have to do what works for my husband and I. My twins are two and haven't slept through the night since birth. Sleeping is a constant struggle so if someone has an issue with my schedule on any given day, I have to just not care. LOL
Message edited 5/24/2017 2:31:47 PM.
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| Posted 5/24/17 2:14 PM |
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
Posted by LiveForMoments
I totally get where you are coming from, even though I never let nap schedules dictate our attendance at events. BUT, life is so short, and time with family is so precious. Your child is lucky to be able to celebrate another birthday with her grandfather. Go. If she gets crazy, leave, but don't miss it for something as insignificant (in the grand scheme of things) as nap time.
Just my opinion, of course. You have to do what's best for your family.
Totally agree. My kids are usually beasts Monday but both sets of grandparents see them over the weekend. I make sure they nap if we are visiting. They are better with my parents as my parents respect my rules that they nap at their house whereas my inlaws just hold them the whole time and have no regard for what I want as a parent.
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| Posted 5/24/17 8:26 PM |
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ChristinaM128
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 4043 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
Posted by Katareen
I would go but I've never ever revolved my life around naps.
This. Exactly. And especially for family.
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| Posted 5/24/17 8:54 PM |
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SLPRunner
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1101 total posts
Name:
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to compromise or not to compromise...
We do revolve our schedule around naps but adjust if we have something to do. Like plan a car nap if it's a long trip. Or bring a pack n play. My inlaws invite us for lunch time things all the time. For a BBQ on Sunday, we will just get there around his nap time and he can sleep over there. If not, he'll be a major crank but we'll deal.
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| Posted 5/24/17 9:20 PM |
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Teachergal
We made a snowman!
Member since 1/08 3239 total posts
Name:
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
I'd still have DD nap but put her in at 11:30 and wake her up at 1. Send DH at 12 and you show up with DD after she wakes up. You know your child best. If you don't think she can handle going without the nap, then don't do it. People always say, "My life didn't revolve around the nap" but they are lucky enough to have flexible kids that can handle that. Not everyone does. Do what works for you. If your in-laws can't deal with you missing an hour of the lunch, then that's a bigger issue than just a nap.
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| Posted 5/24/17 9:20 PM |
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VickiC
Rocking the party
Member since 5/05 4937 total posts
Name:
Vicki
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
Posted by Salason
I'm a stickler with naps but I'd go and not expect them to change the meal. I would have DC nap in a pack and play at their house. IMO kids need to get used to doing that. I made a mistake with my first not doing that.
I'm a stickler for naps too. More her afternoon nap (bc it's the long one) than her morning nap. However, I purposely will go places, and just make sure her PnP is with us so she can nap wherever we are. She sleeps great in the PnP and we all still get to partake in the event.
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| Posted 5/24/17 9:24 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
Go. Its one day. Its not just a regular lunch, its a family party. Sometimes its inconvenient yes but Id make the sacrifice. Not everyone can plan around nap schedules. Of course this is coming from someone whose kids never napped.
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| Posted 5/24/17 11:29 PM |
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CL2012
LIF Toddler
Member since 1/13 374 total posts
Name:
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
I was pretty strict about naps at that age. Only if absolutely necessary did DC nap in a car or stroller. I tried to have all naps be in a crib. Sleep is so important at that age and, in my experience, missed naps negatively affect overnight sleep and it starts a vicious cycle. In your situation I would arrive to ILs 10-15 minutes before nap time if that coincides with the start time of lunch and plan to put the baby to bed in a quiet room at their house. You and DH will be awake to enjoy the birthday lunch and the 10 month old doesn't give a sh*t if they miss a birthday lunch. There were many times I would arrive to someone's party and immediately run to set up the pack n play and sound machine to put baby down for a nap. Then I can go enjoy the party during nap time. Some people may be annoyed they don't get to see the baby as much but their enjoyment was less important than our precious sleep :)
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| Posted 5/25/17 12:16 PM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
Posted by CL2012
I was pretty strict about naps at that age. Only if absolutely necessary did DC nap in a car or stroller. I tried to have all naps be in a crib. Sleep is so important at that age and, in my experience, missed naps negatively affect overnight sleep and it starts a vicious cycle. In your situation I would arrive to ILs 10-15 minutes before nap time if that coincides with the start time of lunch and plan to put the baby to bed in a quiet room at their house. You and DH will be awake to enjoy the birthday lunch and the 10 month old doesn't give a sh*t if they miss a birthday lunch. There were many times I would arrive to someone's party and immediately run to set up the pack n play and sound machine to put baby down for a nap. Then I can go enjoy the party during nap time. Some people may be annoyed they don't get to see the baby as much but their enjoyment was less important than our precious sleep :)
I don't think it would work if we put DD down for a nap at their place.. Everyone will start grabbing for her and MIL and SIL never ever listen when I say i need to take the baby to change her, feed her, put down for a nap, etc. They just ignore me and keep doing their own thing. I know MIL would be offended and upset with me if I showed up and immediately said I needed to put her down for a nap. In some ways, I think it would be better to try to get DD to nap at home a little earlier than 12, and show up a little late to the lunch. DH will go on time and I'll come when she wakes up. That way, she will be in a good mood and can play with everyone without me needing to take her away for a nap or anything
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| Posted 5/25/17 12:47 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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to compromise or not to compromise...
The more I think about it, if you're going to arrive super late it might be better not to go.
I've been at the losing end of my SIL constantly trying to get people to change plans for her kid's naps. Her children are basically koalas (her 2 year old takes 3 2 hour naps daily) so it's a nightmare. But I actually find it incredibly disrespectful of her to request time changes, try to take over my DD's room for her kid to nap, show up 3 hours late, etc. Her kids are older than my DD and I always thought "well, maybe once I'm a parent I'll think differently." And I do. It irritates me even more.
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| Posted 5/25/17 1:30 PM |
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MrsW2010
Mommy of two!
Member since 5/10 2202 total posts
Name:
Jill
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
my older one who is 6 id say go, my 6.5 month old if he doesn't get his nap it will be bad i would pass for him
You know your kid and they are most important
Message edited 5/25/2017 3:18:38 PM.
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| Posted 5/25/17 3:17 PM |
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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: to compromise or not to compromise...
Posted by pnbplus1
I totally planned my life around my DS1's naps. I never had to deal with an overtired child and he always was and still is (at age 7) an amazing sleeper. His sleep was important to me. People had a lot to say about it but I didn't give a sh*t.
If lunch starts at 12, I wouldn't go at 12. I would put your DD down at her normal time or a little earlier if possible (15 minutes), and then I'd wake her at the 1.5 hour mark. If she sleeps 12-1:30 you can be there by 1:45 or even 1:30 if she goes down earlier. You'd miss lunch but maybe catch the end of the event. If not then I'd just not go.
I agree.
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| Posted 5/25/17 5:02 PM |
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