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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
Posted by KatieP
Posted by alli3131
MYOB. I have plenty of friends who changed their kids before the 2yr. It is their choice.
i agree. DS is 13 months and is forward facing but hes big for his age and his legs were completelty crammed.
You do realize that size has nothing to do with it? It has to do with ossification/hardening of the spine which doesn't happen till later on. If you're an in an accident it may be deadly to your FF child and they may very well have survived if they were RFing. And their legs are just fine all scrunched up. Broken legs- cast it, broken neck- casket.
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Posted 7/17/13 7:41 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
To the people who said "MYOB", would you say something to a friend who's 3 month old was FF? There's no law against that, either.
I would definitely mention to them that the latest recommendations are to keep them RF later. Honestly, if it wasn't for LIF, I probably wouldn't have known about that change. Not everyone does constant research on all the latest recommendations, and not everyone is on LIF, or a similar parenting site.
I'd rather risk losing a friend than risk losing their child...
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| Posted 7/17/13 8:05 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
We forward faced DS#1 when he turned one. Back then, that was what was recommended. When DS#2 turned 1 about 1.5 years ago, they changed the recommendation but we already switched him to forward facing.
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| Posted 7/17/13 8:20 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
Posted by alli3131
MYOB. I have plenty of friends who changed their kids before the 2yr. It is their choice.
I totally agree.
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| Posted 7/17/13 8:46 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
Posted by ReiRei13
Posted by KatieP
Posted by alli3131
MYOB. I have plenty of friends who changed their kids before the 2yr. It is their choice.
i agree. DS is 13 months and is forward facing but hes big for his age and his legs were completelty crammed.
You do realize that size has nothing to do with it? It has to do with ossification/hardening of the spine which doesn't happen till later on. If you're an in an accident it may be deadly to your FF child and they may very well have survived if they were RFing. And their legs are just fine all scrunched up. Broken legs- cast it, broken neck- casket.
This is where you MYOB. She clearly knows the rec because of this thread.
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| Posted 7/17/13 9:15 PM |
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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
Posted by alli3131
Posted by ReiRei13
Posted by KatieP
Posted by alli3131
MYOB. I have plenty of friends who changed their kids before the 2yr. It is their choice.
i agree. DS is 13 months and is forward facing but hes big for his age and his legs were completelty crammed.
You do realize that size has nothing to do with it? It has to do with ossification/hardening of the spine which doesn't happen till later on. If you're an in an accident it may be deadly to your FF child and they may very well have survived if they were RFing. And their legs are just fine all scrunched up. Broken legs- cast it, broken neck- casket.
This is where you MYOB. She clearly knows the rec because of this thread.
She may know the recommendation but clearly doesn't know the research because she says ridiculous things like he's big for his age and his legs are scrunched. Neither of which are reasons to turn a child FF, especially at 13 months.
Message edited 7/17/2013 9:21:32 PM.
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| Posted 7/17/13 9:20 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
Posted by ReiRei13
Posted by alli3131
Posted by ReiRei13
Posted by KatieP
Posted by alli3131
MYOB. I have plenty of friends who changed their kids before the 2yr. It is their choice.
i agree. DS is 13 months and is forward facing but hes big for his age and his legs were completelty crammed.
You do realize that size has nothing to do with it? It has to do with ossification/hardening of the spine which doesn't happen till later on. If you're an in an accident it may be deadly to your FF child and they may very well have survived if they were RFing. And their legs are just fine all scrunched up. Broken legs- cast it, broken neck- casket.
This is where you MYOB. She clearly knows the rec because of this thread.
She may know the recommendation but clearly doesn't know the research because she says ridiculous things like he's big for his age and his legs are scrunched. Neither of which are reasons to turn a child FF, especially at 13 months.
But it's not your place to question her parenting. If she read this thread she is aware. Just like I am but I will change the seat when I decide on it and it gives no one a rig to judge. But then again you said you don't care and will judge others.
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| Posted 7/17/13 9:24 PM |
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my3bugs
Mom of 2 Boys
Member since 5/05 4381 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
Posted by LolasMom
I switched my DS at 13 months- I am a good parent and this was my choice, I would get upset if my friends would judge me and my parenting.
Switching at 2 is a recommendation, not the law yet and in my opinion I didn't do anything wrong.
I agree...MYOB....
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| Posted 7/17/13 9:24 PM |
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my3bugs
Mom of 2 Boys
Member since 5/05 4381 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
Posted by GoldenRod
To the people who said "MYOB", would you say something to a friend who's 3 month old was FF? There's no law against that, either.
I would definitely mention to them that the latest recommendations are to keep them RF later. Honestly, if it wasn't for LIF, I probably wouldn't have known about that change. Not everyone does constant research on all the latest recommendations, and not everyone is on LIF, or a similar parenting site.
I'd rather risk losing a friend than risk losing their child...
yes - I would MYOB....Would I agree no - but not my place to say something. And I have had friends who turned their child before the age of 1!
Message edited 7/17/2013 9:26:35 PM.
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| Posted 7/17/13 9:26 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
OP said the parent is pretty cautious and might not know...
We are pretty cautious and didnt remember the furniture safety straps till the story in December went viral.... then I was out to the store buying them, especially after having a tv stand fall on me when I was 5...
I do agree with OP that sending an article or video could piss alot of people off... It would have to be more like something in passing, like - I can't wait til my baby is two so I can face them forward in the car, its so tough not seeing them turned around...
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| Posted 7/17/13 10:38 PM |
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Teach723
Have faith. Believe. Dream.
Member since 8/10 2356 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
Posted by alli3131
Posted by ReiRei13
Posted by alli3131
Posted by ReiRei13
Posted by KatieP
Posted by alli3131
MYOB. I have plenty of friends who changed their kids before the 2yr. It is their choice.
i agree. DS is 13 months and is forward facing but hes big for his age and his legs were completelty crammed.
You do realize that size has nothing to do with it? It has to do with ossification/hardening of the spine which doesn't happen till later on. If you're an in an accident it may be deadly to your FF child and they may very well have survived if they were RFing. And their legs are just fine all scrunched up. Broken legs- cast it, broken neck- casket.
This is where you MYOB. She clearly knows the rec because of this thread.
She may know the recommendation but clearly doesn't know the research because she says ridiculous things like he's big for his age and his legs are scrunched. Neither of which are reasons to turn a child FF, especially at 13 months.
But it's not your place to question her parenting. If she read this thread she is aware. Just like I am but I will change the seat when I decide on it and it gives no one a rig to judge. But then again you said you don't care and will judge others.
I don't think she's judging at all. I recently started researching this about a week ago and I'm in shock. I had no clue at all and I think a lot of people don't. I think she's really just putting the info out there. I think anyone who watches the video would really want to turn their little ones back around. The threat of internal decapitation in a crash is just too scary to not inform others. I just saw a 13 month old today FFing and I will always wonder if they know. I probably would've gone with the law also and thinking oh my DD's legs are crunched up. Once you start researching it it's only human to want to tell everyone and advocate for extending the RF age.
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| Posted 7/17/13 11:17 PM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
For a good friend? I'd definitely say something casually. It's all in the delivery. The whole "MYOB" thing is so ridiculous.
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| Posted 7/17/13 11:26 PM |
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meloyellow
LIF Adult
Member since 3/13 1843 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
I say MYOB. it's a recommendation, not a law. You don't know her reasons for turning him around and ultimately it's her choice.
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| Posted 7/18/13 1:04 AM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
I know plenty of people IRL who turn their kids around at 1 year as long as they meet the weight criteria. I once casually mentioned the 2-year recommendation to my SIL, who told me that her pediatrician said that it was fine to turn them at 1. At that point, I wasn't going to argue. Honestly, my pediatrician said the same thing. I mentioned the recommendation to him, and he kind of brushed it off and said that so many kids are happier forward facing. I still plan on leaving DD rear-facing until at least 2, but many people IRL, not on LIF, roll their eyes at it and tell me how much more comfortable DD will be facing forward. I occasionally post things on FB to educate, but I'm not going to fight with others on their parenting decision.
To the OP: If it's a really good friend, I might send her something saying, "did you see this? It's so scary what can happen to a young child in an accident if they are forward facing!" After that, if she doesn't change, I would drop it.
Message edited 7/18/2013 8:28:47 AM.
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| Posted 7/18/13 8:25 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
If it were really my good friend I would tell her the recommendation. I would make it light like "you know I thought it was one year old but I read this article on how much safer it is to RF until 2 yrs old".
To not say anything is silly, what is she going to stop being your friend bc you shared helpful information??
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| Posted 7/18/13 9:15 AM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
Posted by DiamondGirl
If it were really my good friend I would tell her the recommendation. I would make it light like "you know I thought it was one year old but I read this article on how much safer it is to RF until 2 yrs old".
To not say anything is silly, what is she going to stop being your friend bc you shared helpful information??
I agree with this...to me this isn't a 'MYOB' topic IMO - not with a friend anyway.
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| Posted 7/18/13 9:22 AM |
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
Posted by BriBri2u
Posted by DiamondGirl
If it were really my good friend I would tell her the recommendation. I would make it light like "you know I thought it was one year old but I read this article on how much safer it is to RF until 2 yrs old".
To not say anything is silly, what is she going to stop being your friend bc you shared helpful information??
I agree with this...to me this isn't a 'MYOB' topic IMO - not with a friend anyway.
I agree
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| Posted 7/18/13 9:25 AM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
Posted by Teach723
Posted by alli3131
Posted by ReiRei13
Posted by alli3131
Posted by ReiRei13
Posted by KatieP
Posted by alli3131
MYOB. I have plenty of friends who changed their kids before the 2yr. It is their choice.
i agree. DS is 13 months and is forward facing but hes big for his age and his legs were completelty crammed.
You do realize that size has nothing to do with it? It has to do with ossification/hardening of the spine which doesn't happen till later on. If you're an in an accident it may be deadly to your FF child and they may very well have survived if they were RFing. And their legs are just fine all scrunched up. Broken legs- cast it, broken neck- casket.
This is where you MYOB. She clearly knows the rec because of this thread.
She may know the recommendation but clearly doesn't know the research because she says ridiculous things like he's big for his age and his legs are scrunched. Neither of which are reasons to turn a child FF, especially at 13 months.
But it's not your place to question her parenting. If she read this thread she is aware. Just like I am but I will change the seat when I decide on it and it gives no one a rig to judge. But then again you said you don't care and will judge others.
I don't think she's judging at all. I recently started researching this about a week ago and I'm in shock. I had no clue at all and I think a lot of people don't. I think she's really just putting the info out there. I think anyone who watches the video would really want to turn their little ones back around. The threat of internal decapitation in a crash is just too scary to not inform others. I just saw a 13 month old today FFing and I will always wonder if they know. I probably would've gone with the law also and thinking oh my DD's legs are crunched up. Once you start researching it it's only human to want to tell everyone and advocate for extending the RF age.
EXACTLY! I wonder what kind of friendships you all have if you are so worried about offending your friends by telling them the TRUTH about the dangers of FF car seats for little ones. Anyone who switched before 2 is just lucky they have not gotten in a serious accident, because all the research shows that children who are FF are much more likely to die in an accident than RF ones. I am shaking my head at all of these posts. OP-I hope you have the conscience and nerve to say something to your friend. It could save her babies' life.
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| Posted 7/18/13 11:35 AM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
Your dilemma stems from the fact that you don't think she even knows the recommendations regarding keeping children rear facing until age two- correct? I would say something but I would very carefully plan HOW I would say it....and I would bring it up very kind of non-chalantly. Know what I mean? Find a way to bring up car seats in a random conversation....then when the subject comes up about FF vs. RF...say something along the lines of "Oh your DS is FF already....I thought they had to stay RF till age 2..."
And then explore the topic from there........
Message edited 7/18/2013 12:28:19 PM.
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| Posted 7/18/13 12:08 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
Posted by Teach723
Posted by alli3131
Posted by ReiRei13
Posted by alli3131
Posted by ReiRei13
Posted by KatieP
Posted by alli3131
MYOB. I have plenty of friends who changed their kids before the 2yr. It is their choice.
i agree. DS is 13 months and is forward facing but hes big for his age and his legs were completelty crammed.
You do realize that size has nothing to do with it? It has to do with ossification/hardening of the spine which doesn't happen till later on. If you're an in an accident it may be deadly to your FF child and they may very well have survived if they were RFing. And their legs are just fine all scrunched up. Broken legs- cast it, broken neck- casket.
This is where you MYOB. She clearly knows the rec because of this thread.
She may know the recommendation but clearly doesn't know the research because she says ridiculous things like he's big for his age and his legs are scrunched. Neither of which are reasons to turn a child FF, especially at 13 months.
But it's not your place to question her parenting. If she read this thread she is aware. Just like I am but I will change the seat when I decide on it and it gives no one a rig to judge. But then again you said you don't care and will judge others.
I don't think she's judging at all. I recently started researching this about a week ago and I'm in shock. I had no clue at all and I think a lot of people don't. I think she's really just putting the info out there. I think anyone who watches the video would really want to turn their little ones back around. The threat of internal decapitation in a crash is just too scary to not inform others. I just saw a 13 month old today FFing and I will always wonder if they know. I probably would've gone with the law also and thinking oh my DD's legs are crunched up. Once you start researching it it's only human to want to tell everyone and advocate for extending the RF age.
The reason I said she was judging is because she flat out said she judges every parent who switches before the age of 2.....go back and read.
As far as offending a friend....I don't care about offendign a friend....I am pretty honest with my friends but I do not get involved in how others parent. Thats why parenting is a MYOB in my opinion.
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| Posted 7/18/13 12:20 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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WWYD - friend and FF car seat
I don't think people are coming across as kind or understanding when they say MYOB. I am sure you're all jjust trying to help, but maybe a milder approach is needed.. i.e.: "drop the ball in her court and let her do what she wants"
I had NO idea of these dangers till I read rere's post the other day. I'd personally rather have an injured leg than a TBI. M.O.O.
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| Posted 7/18/13 12:22 PM |
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evenedan
Need a little sunshine
Member since 9/05 3843 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
It's a tricky situation because if she is aware of the recommendation and choosing to ignore it, she might feel judged or upset by you bringing it up.
If she doesn't know about the recommendation, she will most likely appreciate you informing her.
I know as a new mom, I would want my good friends to say something if I was doing something that could possibly jeopardize my child's safety. I try to be well read and up on things so I can make smart choices, but that doesn't mean I don't welcome advice if it is coming from a good and supportive place.
I'd say something really casual like, "Hey did you know the new recommendation is to RF until age 2? I didn't realize what a difference it made, but apparently RF is much safer" type thing without mentioning specifically that her kid is FF. Make it like it was news to you too.
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| Posted 7/18/13 12:27 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
Posted by Lina
Posted by alli3131
Honestly if I had a friend or anyone for that matter send me articles or the video above and say "hey its 2 yrs" I would probably tell them to MYOB and our friendship would not be the same.
in the end its their child and their decision and none of anyones business.
Hope you didn't think I meant to actually send them to her. I just edited my post to clarify. i just meant post them on FB like you are putting it out there to educate anyone who would be interested. That way it's not directed at her and she can take it or leave it. Everyone can decide for themselves but like she said, she may not know. I was tempted to turn DD because she is 95th percentile for height but after seeing the research I am definitely waiting. Had I not know, I would have definitely turned her.
This what I meant too, by posting the articles and videos here. I didn't suggest sending them, just "hey this is what educated me".
In my honest opinion, if someone mentioned it to me, I'm the type of person who says "omg I didnt know" or "yeah I know, but....." I definitely wouldn't think it was obnoxious.
Parents here recommend things all the time. I consider it communication, not judgement.
Message edited 7/18/2013 12:30:48 PM.
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| Posted 7/18/13 12:29 PM |
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SHOPAHOLIC
LIF Adult
Member since 1/07 1712 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
I didn't read through the thread, but I was just in the same position a few weeks ago. I friend I used to go to school with... First time mom.. Posted pictures of her DC forward facing in her new " big girl seat" at 9 months old.
I debated minding my own business but felt it was better to look like "that mom" then ignore it.
I sent her a friendly Facebook message saying how cute her DD looks and how big she has gotten.. Then I said I'm not sure if you are aware of the safety guidelines .. It's none of my business but I know as a new mom I appreciated other moms bringing things to my attention so I am paying it forward. I included a few links I found online explaining the recommendations and why.
She was SO GRATEFUL. Said she had no clue.. She is the first in her circle to have a baby and her pediatrician hadn't brought it up. She was embarrassed she didn't research but didn't even think to. She turned the car seat back around and that was that.
Now on the other hand I have BTDT and had to switch my last DC at 13-14 months because I literally couldn't drive anywhere. I didn't go on a highway for MONTHS because the way she screamed I was so afraid I would get in an accident. It was literally torture to get in the car and run errands. I spoke to my pediatrician about it and did what I felt was in the best interest for all of our safety and well being.
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| Posted 7/18/13 12:41 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - friend and FF car seat
Posted by alli3131
Posted by blu6385
Posted by alli3131
Honestly if I had a friend or anyone for that matter send me articles or the video above and say "hey its 2 yrs" I would probably tell them to MYOB and our friendship would not be the same.
in the end its their child and their decision and none of anyones business.
i dont think sending a video or article is needed but if a good friend of mine got mad at me cause i mentioned to them that just in case you didnt know the new recommedation is 2 not 1 and i made it perfectly clear that i wasnt judging them then i would think they were never really a good friend of mine
i have a friend who turns thier kids before two she has asked me why i havent done my 2.5 year old yet and i said the new recommedation is 2 or older she has her way of doing things and my way of doing things i dont judge her at all. She parents a lot different than me and we discuss and joke around about it . thats what you do with friends.
Mentioning is one thing...sending articles and videos is another and that's what i was responding to.
gotcha
I really think by just saying listen everyone parents differently but i just want to make sure you know in case you didnt that the new recommedation is to FF is now 2 instead of 1.
Friend says yes they know leave at that. No need to send videos, articles, lecture etc.
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| Posted 7/18/13 12:43 PM |
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