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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
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Name
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How long would you have MIL stay?
I'm due apr 29th mil is coming in from oos to help out. My mom is deceased and I love my mil. She asked dh how long she should stay for and I don't know what to say. I think the help will be great but I don't want us to get on each others nerves. She said she could stay for a month but I think that's too long. Opinions?
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Posted 10/14/12 6:10 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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sunnygirl
loving life
Member since 1/07 5413 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
since you love her and get along, i would say 2 weeks,
after i had twins my parents came by every day for the first 2 weeks and my mom stayed overnight for the first week, it was such a huge help, you might actually get some sleep which will be priceless
i agree a month would be too long
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| Posted 10/14/12 6:28 PM |
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
2 weeks
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| Posted 10/14/12 6:29 PM |
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ashap215
LIF Adult
Member since 8/09 1283 total posts
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How long would you have MIL stay?
I might rethink it if I were you. Believe me....company is the last thing you'll want. I didn't let anyone over for months ha ha
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| Posted 10/14/12 6:32 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
if my mom could have stayed with me for the month i would have let her and loved it  i think at least 2 weeks would be great maybe 2 1/2
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| Posted 10/14/12 6:41 PM |
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ABCiverson
<3 my family
Member since 1/06 7465 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
I think you need to go with what your gut tells you. For me anything over 3-4 days would be too much. I personally prefer to get into my own routine without people getting in the way. The longest my in laws stayed was 4 days and they waited until baby #1 was a week old before coming out. I personally don't want any house guests the first few weeks.
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| Posted 10/14/12 6:48 PM |
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Dolphinsbaby
My 3 little guys!
Member since 12/10 2943 total posts
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
Posted by BaysideForever
2 weeks
I agree.
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| Posted 10/14/12 6:53 PM |
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M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
Posted by ABCiverson
I think you need to go with what your gut tells you. For me anything over 3-4 days would be too much. I personally prefer to get into my own routine without people getting in the way.
This is how I am too. My DH stayed home from work for 2 weeks when DD was born and it was great for us to get into our routine. But I didn't want anyone staying with us (my in-laws are from OOS also and they did visit, but didn't stay at our house). Even now when they come to visit, I'm ready to have my house back after 2 days haha.
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| Posted 10/14/12 6:58 PM |
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MaZz
* Lovin my baby girl!!! *
Member since 2/09 6243 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
As much as you love your mil, I would really reconsider having someone stay over immediately. Your hormones really fluctuate after having the baby and the littlest things your mil tries to help you out with may end up getting in your last nerve. Not to mention all the unsolicited advice you will get... Trust me...
I would wait a while before having anyone stay... Just so you and dh can get the hang of things... After a month, you'll welcome the break! 
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| Posted 10/14/12 7:25 PM |
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MaZz
* Lovin my baby girl!!! *
Member since 2/09 6243 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
Didn't answer your question... Length of stay depends on how well you get along LOL. I agree with 2 weeks max... For me, 1 week was plenty
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| Posted 10/14/12 7:28 PM |
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mommyIam
Member since 7/09 9209 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
If I could go back, I'd ask for everyone to bring me food and leave me a lone with baby for the first month. Then at around 2 month mark, come and help, for about 2-4 weeks, when babies generally are fussiest.
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| Posted 10/14/12 7:35 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
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Allison
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How long would you have MIL stay?
Honestly we didn't need any help. DH went back to work on the Wednesday after I came home. I think it was sat when I came home. After that I was on my own. It's not that hard. DS was my first and I was never around babies He was my first diaper and everything. It's sink or swim so I think it's better just to get used to everything by yourself from day one. Multiples would be another story.
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| Posted 10/14/12 7:54 PM |
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petunias
LIF Infant
Member since 4/12 295 total posts
Name:
Petunia
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
I think it all depends on the relationship you have with her and your views on what you would like to be doing when you bring your child home.
I personally had no help and had no problems at all. My dh went back to work 5 days after our 1st child and 3 days after the 2nd.
Both grandparents lived far away so they did not come right away after the babies were born.
I had some family and friends over but for the majority of the days, I was home by myself.
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| Posted 10/14/12 7:56 PM |
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allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
I agree with 2 weeks. I stayed with my parents for 2 weeks because we were waiting to close on our new house and it was so helpful. After 2 weeks I was ready to do it on my own.
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| Posted 10/14/12 8:36 PM |
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LotsaLuv
Us
Member since 6/10 4094 total posts
Name:
F
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How long would you have MIL stay?
My mom stayed for a week. It was perfect, just enough time to help out and get me on a routine, but not long enough to get on each others nerves being with each other 24/7. I was so happy she came to help out, but was also anxious after the week to spend some alone time with DD
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| Posted 10/14/12 9:11 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
Perfect for me would be MIL arriving a week or two after the baby is born, and staying for 10 days. I think a week can be too short, but 2 weeks starts to get to me (been through it before lol).
Embrace the help. I know it was so comforting to have someone make dinner, helping with dishes etc...and she is going to be over the moon to help out, its such a special time for a grandma as well.. :)
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| Posted 10/14/12 9:11 PM |
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OrganicMama
So in love with my little man!
Member since 6/08 5172 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
Posted by mommyIam
If I could go back, I'd ask for everyone to bring me food and leave me a lone with baby for the first month. Then at around 2 month mark, come and help, for about 2-4 weeks, when babies generally are fussiest.
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| Posted 10/14/12 9:58 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
with my 1st, my aunt was here to help and was here for 2 months (she lives in england). It was a long time. Love her, but we were new and finding our way. And for us, it wasn't hard in the beginning at all.
with #2, my aunt was planning on coming but couldn't for health reasons. My 2nd didn't get hard until he was 4 weeks old.
So what i would suggest is... when is your husband going back to work? is he taking time off?
I'd suggest having her come maybe when he goes back to work. 2 weeks maybe.
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| Posted 10/14/12 10:00 PM |
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labonnevie
sometimes 1+1= 4 <3
Member since 8/09 3869 total posts
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the lucky one
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How long would you have MIL stay?
Honestly, I'm close with my parents, but I didn't want any guests at that time. I was tired, trying to find my way, hormonal, sore, in pain (csection), and the last thing I wanted was to have someone in my home. Hell, after a week my husband was driving me crazy. I also don't have the ability to not cater to guests in my home, regardless of how I feel, so I wouldn't feel relaxed.
I think it's great that you are close with your MIL, however, I think you should rethink it. Maybe have her come for a bit before you have the baby and she can be there to visit you in the hospital when the baby is born, but after that, come back a few weeks later, once you've established yourself.
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| Posted 10/14/12 11:47 PM |
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NewLeaf2012
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 2741 total posts
Name:
....
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
I had my Mom stay for 15 days... But I had a difficult time after I got home and hubby really had no clue of how to handle a newborn.. She took him at night and I had him during the day.. She reminds me about it ALL the time now. And DS is almost 3.. I would say a week to 10 days would be fine. If he has a room of her own and won't be under foot all the time, go for it!!
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| Posted 10/14/12 11:51 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
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:)
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
Posted by ashap215
I might rethink it if I were you. Believe me....company is the last thing you'll want. I didn't let anyone over for months ha ha
I agree. I can't imagine wanting ANYONE in my space, when we are starting out as a new family with our DC. But that's me, I guess some others don't care.
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| Posted 10/14/12 11:55 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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How long would you have MIL stay?
I seem to be the only one here who felt the total opposite of every post above. I had my mil and mother help me every single day for the first month. No one slept over since they live close by, but I would have welcomed it if they offered. I was exhausted, scared and completely overwhelmed when my LO got home. I also suffered from postpartum pretty bad so I needed the help.
When I was preggos I couldnt imagine wanting my mil or mother at my house everyday. When asked I would say no way dont need them. But you might you never know how your going to feel afterwards. I never ever expected to go through post partum.
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| Posted 10/15/12 3:35 AM |
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JackiePags
They're the love of my life
Member since 8/10 1299 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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How long would you have MIL stay?
My mother too is deceased and I had my mil stay with me for the first 4 days. I had a csection and really needed help afterward. When she left I was sad but I felt I could handle it on my own then...baby was 9 days when she left. A month is a long time I think.
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| Posted 10/15/12 4:58 AM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
When I had #2, my mom stayed with us for about 6 weeks & honestly it was a godsend. Our situation was different though, our baby was in the NICU for 4 weeks, so it was helpful to have my mom here to care for my oldest so I could go back & forth to Tue hospital & spend hours there. When the baby came home, my mom stayed 2 additional weeks so.we could adjust. It was the best
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| Posted 10/15/12 5:30 AM |
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BBin2012
Full heart!
Member since 8/11 1835 total posts
Name:
Ka
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Re: How long would you have MIL stay?
Posted by blu6385
if my mom could have stayed with me for the month i would have let her and loved it i think at least 2 weeks would be great maybe 2 1/2
Same here. My mom stayed for the first week (DH was off for 2 weeks) and then she came back for a week after DH went back to work. It was such a huge help, and I liked the company. Now I have the rest of my mat leave to be alone and figure things out. Take the help while you can!!
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| Posted 10/15/12 9:37 AM |
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