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would you be mad if in laws...

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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys

Member since 4/06

11426 total posts

Name:
Ali

would you be mad if in laws...

missed your kids birthday?

my son is turning 1 january 23rd. My in laws are going to FL jan 5th for 4 months. Last year they went in february.

I imagine they'll do this every year.

Would you be mad if your inlaws missed your kids birthday?

No reason behind it. They just want to go to sooner.

Keep in mind my sons have no other grandparents. Just them.

Posted 9/13/12 1:27 PM
 
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Kate
*****

Member since 5/05

7557 total posts

Name:
Kate

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

No that would not make me mad. The grandparents have a life too.

Posted 9/13/12 1:28 PM
 

DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18802 total posts

Name:
DiamondMama

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

I would be hurt Chat Icon My mom goes for a month in Oct but this year and going forward she is going to wait until after DS's birthday on the 6th

Posted 9/13/12 1:29 PM
 

aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys

Member since 4/06

11426 total posts

Name:
Ali

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

Posted by Kate

No that would not make me mad. The grandparents have a life too.



so you wouldn't be mad if they missed your sons birthday every year? really?

Posted 9/13/12 1:31 PM
 

aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys

Member since 4/06

11426 total posts

Name:
Ali

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

Posted by Kate

No that would not make me mad. The grandparents have a life too.



let me just say that i get they have a life. We know that. They go to FL oct 9-nov 16th. Then back for 4 more months jan-april 15th.

But i don't understand how they can't wait 2 more weeks in january to go? for what... golf?

Posted 9/13/12 1:33 PM
 

MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!

Member since 5/06

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MrsDrMatt

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

Posted by aliwnec10

Posted by Kate

No that would not make me mad. The grandparents have a life too.



so you wouldn't be mad if they missed your sons birthday every year? really?



I wouldn't be mad at all. Their life does not revolve around me and my kids.

Posted 9/13/12 1:33 PM
 

2boys4me
He's coming soon!

Member since 4/10

4260 total posts

Name:

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

I would be mad.

Posted 9/13/12 1:34 PM
 

MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!

Member since 5/06

3104 total posts

Name:
MrsDrMatt

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

Posted by aliwnec10

Posted by Kate

No that would not make me mad. The grandparents have a life too.



let me just say that i get they have a life. We know that. They go to FL oct 9-nov 16th. Then back for 4 more months jan-april 15th.

But i don't understand how they can't wait 2 more weeks in january to go? for what... golf?



Seems like you have deeper issues with your in-laws.

Posted 9/13/12 1:34 PM
 

drwifettc
LIF Adult

Member since 6/10

2348 total posts

Name:

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

I'd be hurt if it was an every year thing. Would it make you feel better if you did his party a little earlier? Have they booked their tickets yet, could you tell them it would mean so much to have you here for his birthday?

Posted 9/13/12 1:34 PM
 

Kate
*****

Member since 5/05

7557 total posts

Name:
Kate

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

Posted by aliwnec10

Posted by Kate

No that would not make me mad. The grandparents have a life too.



so you wouldn't be mad if they missed your sons birthday every year? really?



My MIL lives OOS and hasn't seen my children in years.

When is his birthday? Is it right before they leave, and they just choose to leave earlier? Or is it in the middle of their 4 month trip?

I guess we don't make a huge deal about birthdays in my family. We have a party, yes, but that's it. If the grandparents were a big part of my DS' life otherwise, and just miss that one day, I don't see the big deal.

Posted 9/13/12 1:35 PM
 

saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!

Member since 5/05

16555 total posts

Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

Yep, that would bother me.

Posted 9/13/12 1:37 PM
 

Kate
*****

Member since 5/05

7557 total posts

Name:
Kate

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

Posted by aliwnec10

Posted by Kate

No that would not make me mad. The grandparents have a life too.



let me just say that i get they have a life. We know that. They go to FL oct 9-nov 16th. Then back for 4 more months jan-april 15th.

But i don't understand how they can't wait 2 more weeks in january to go? for what... golf?



That's different then. If they could postpone for just two weeks in order to be here, then I would be a little annoyed. But I wouldn't expect them to change their trip every year.

Posted 9/13/12 1:37 PM
 

StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!

Member since 6/10

21539 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

Yes, I'd be mad.

Posted 9/13/12 1:42 PM
 

MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!

Member since 7/06

12020 total posts

Name:
MJ

would you be mad if in laws...

I think for the first birthday I would be a little hurt. It's a milestone birthday even if the child doesn't remember it...you and your DH will remember.

But in reality I don't expect anyone to change their plans just for us, so I would have my DH speak our peace and then if they continue to always not be around for DC's birthday, so be it. I wouldn't bend over backwards to accommodate them after that but I wouldn't force the issue.

Posted 9/13/12 1:42 PM
 

jam11308

Member since 11/07

7273 total posts

Name:

would you be mad if in laws...

It wouldn't bother me at all, but in my family we're always celebrating events/holidays on "off" dates...either early or late.

My ILs live OOS & haven't come to town for ds' birthdays since he was born, but we always have another get together with them either before or after the date. DS loves that he gets to have a second birthday (and a 2nd cake) with them.

Posted 9/13/12 1:45 PM
 

Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU

Member since 3/07

13921 total posts

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ETC I LOVE YOU

would you be mad if in laws...

Nope I wouldnt be mad. But thats jmo.

Posted 9/13/12 1:46 PM
 

Sparrow
LIF Adult

Member since 11/10

6826 total posts

Name:

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

I don't think this sounds like deeper issues, I think it sounds insensitive and selfish of them to not postpone their 4 month long trip by 2 weeks for their grandson's birthday. I would be hurt and insulted, both for myself and my son. Some grandparents seem to be like this though and there's not much you can do about it.

Posted 9/13/12 1:46 PM
 

JenMarie
One day at a time

Member since 11/07

7397 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

Yep! Mine didn't come to my DDs 1st birthday. Something I personally can not forgive.

Posted 9/13/12 1:47 PM
 

PurpleC
Miracles Do Come True

Member since 8/10

2287 total posts

Name:
Caren

would you be mad if in laws...

Yep I would be mad. My parents changed there dates to Florida in October so they could be here for his first holloween. Birthdays are important and your only asking to postpone it for a few weeks not month's.

Posted 9/13/12 1:49 PM
 

Lillykat
going along for the ride...

Member since 5/05

16253 total posts

Name:

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

My parents missed my DD's birthday. They said either we miss one child's bday or the other pre k graduation. We just celebrated it another day. I guess unless you and everyone plan on taking the day off of work or pulling them from school there will be many bdays that will be missed. So I guess it would not really bother me. But I would be upset if they didn't celebrate at all. In our family we celebrate the weekend before or after a birthday when the day falls on a weekday. Are they willing to celebrate before they go or when they come home?

Posted 9/13/12 1:56 PM
 

donegal419
St. Gerard, pray for us.

Member since 7/07

7650 total posts

Name:
K

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

No, I wouldn't. It looks like they spend almost half the year down there, so they are bound to miss things on a regular basis.

This is coming from someone whose parents are very involved in their grandchildren's lives (they only have two - mineChat Icon ). HOWEVER, I grew up with my grandparents living in Ireland and I can count on one hand the number of times I saw them as a child. I did not have the experience of having my grandparents in my life on a regular basis at all, let alone my birthday.

yeah, i might be upset about it, but i get it. if it looks like they'll miss it every year, maybe you could set up a fun tradition of celebrating his 1/2 birthday with them every year, or coming up with some other way to do something special with them.

Posted 9/13/12 1:57 PM
 

Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3

Member since 6/10

10818 total posts

Name:
E

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

I'm probably not the best person to answer this... I'd be thrilled.
Chat Icon

Posted 9/13/12 1:57 PM
 

Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU

Member since 3/07

13921 total posts

Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

Posted by Bearcat

I'm probably not the best person to answer this... I'd be thrilled.
Chat Icon



Sorry but LMAOChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/13/12 1:59 PM
 

Marcie
Complete Happiness :)

Member since 5/05

27789 total posts

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LOVE being a Mommy!

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

Mad...no
Upset...yes
But I think I would just buy them a ticket to fly up for the weekend, and tell them that you would really like for them to be there.

Posted 9/13/12 2:00 PM
 

srella22
LIF Infant

Member since 12/10

136 total posts

Name:

Re: would you be mad if in laws...

Posted by Lara&Aidansmommy

Posted by Bearcat

I'm probably not the best person to answer this... I'd be thrilled.
Chat Icon



Sorry but LMAOChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon



Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

In all honesty I would be upset, especially if it was my child's only g'parents.

Posted 9/13/12 2:03 PM
 
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