Why did I do it? (rant)

I'm 10DPO. I've been feeling all week like this isn't going to be our month, but I tested this morning anyway since I have some IC tests lying around & of course got a BFN. I know I need to move past the miscarriage, but I keep thinking that I should be around 16w now & instead, 2 cycles later, I'm still not pregnant. I've pretty much been sobbing hysterically since 7am.

I hate living my life in 2 week segments. I don't know if I can stand another 2ww & more heartache at the end of it. I want another child so badly, but the thought of going through another month to likely have it end the same way is too much right now. I want to be sane again & not consumed by TTC. I told DH that we may have to give up for a while. He thinks I'm being silly & he's upset with me. I have to give so much credit to the ladies with IF or anyone who has been trying longer than we have.

Does anyone have any tips, anything, to help me stay sane so that just maybe we can keep trying? I honestly don't know what to do anymore.

Message edited 4/18/2008 12:24:07 PM.

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so sorry Danielle

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All I can offer is hugs & prayers, Danielle. Sorry it can't be more.

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Posted by Dani922

I'm 10DPO. I've been feeling all week like this isn't going to be our month, but I tested this morning anyway since I have some IC tests lying around & of course got a BFN. I know I need to move past the miscarriage, but I keep thinking that I should be around 16w now & instead, 2 cycles later, I'm still not pregnant. I've pretty much been sobbing hysterically since 7am.

I hate living my life in 2 week segments. I don't know if I can stand another 2ww & more heartache at the end of it. I want another child so badly, but the thought of going through another month to likely have it end the same way is too much right now. I want to be sane again & not consumed by TTC. I told DH that we may have to give up for a while. He thinks I'm being silly & he's upset with me. I have to give so much credit to the ladies with IF or anyone who has been trying longer than we have.

Does anyone have any tips, anything, to help me stay sane so that just maybe we can keep trying? I honestly don't know what to do anymore.

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Danielle,
when my twin sister miscarried last july, she was at the same week along you were. I felt her pain even though I really wasn't going through what she was. Friends of ours were giving birth and also becoming preggo making her almost isolate herself from them. My brother-in-law somewhat understood but not completely. She kept telling him that she was the one who lost the baby and how hard it was for her to hold other people's babies. I'm tired of it she kept saying, "I want my own baby" and when I was in the car the night she went off little did she know she was already 4wks preggo.

It did take her several months to get preggo again. I kept telling her that time will come her way and to try and be calm. And she did and she knew that it will happen. I hope this helped you some. Enjoy the closenest with your family and god has a plan for everyone and he will bring another little your way

The advice she gave me I am taking.

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I am in exactly the same place you are Dani!!! Miscarried 5 weeks ago at 11 weeks pg. We're waiting one cycle - I just got AF on Monday, so now we're waiting to O.

I thought it might just be my period making me feel crap but lately I just cannot stop feeling sorry for myself - thinking I should be 16 weeks on Saturday, I should be having a little belly, I should be telling people at work. It all just really suks.

I got pregnant on our first try, so I don't even really feel qualified to complain when there are so many others who have had several miscarriages and/or months of trying with no results. But I know exactly how you feel.

there's no point to my message, really just as much of a rant as yours was But I hope you know you're not alone. Please FM me if you need anyone to talk to.

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Message edited 11/22/2010 10:12:11 AM.

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I am sorry you are suffering through this but maybe it's a good idea to take a break for a few months. If I recall, you are very young and a break may do you some good. Best of luck and hang in there!

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No advice just

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It does take time to get over. I had a m/c last year in April. I keep thinking how I could have a 3 mth old right now. It's pointless thinking, of course, but hard to stop. I'm hoping when I do get a bfp that I stop thinking that way. Every cycle has been hard. But, the worst is, when you are your most vulnerable, is when you find out. I don't know about you but first days of AF I'm always down in the dumps.

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Unfortuently I could have written this myself. Those first few cycles past the m/c were awful. You really want to concieve right away because you feel like somehow that would make it okay.. and when you don't... it is heartbreak all over again. It does get easier but you have to let yourself grieve for a while.
Maybe don't take a break from TTC but take a break from OPK's and charting that might take off some of the stress.

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No advice, just these

And lots of this:

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Im sorry youre so sad. I think your best bet is to TRY to think of this as just part of the journey. YOu got PG once and have an adorable DD so you know it can happen.

The best things in life take time

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I know exactly how you feel. I would have been 13 weeks yesterday, officially done with the 1st trimester.
I only first got started TTC again this past week because I had a huge cyst that had to go away.
It been a year and a half of heartbreak for me already, and the miscarriage has made everything harder, especially because two of my friends are 17 weeks and 13 weeks (exactly the same as I would have been).
I have to try to take one thing at a time. With each cycle, there is new hope. I know in my heart of hearts that I will be a mother one day and thats what keeps me going. I have down days where I cry and cry and then I pick myself up and continue on with what i have to do to fulfill my dream.

ETA: 10dpo is still early, I wouldn't give up hope for this cycle yet!!

Message edited 4/19/2008 9:14:04 AM.

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stay positive!!!

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I know how it feels. I had a m/c last year and at the same time, 7-8 people in my company were pregnant. Plus, I had a couple of friends pg, so it was so tough to not get discouraged and be happy for others. I kept hearing how people are more fertile after a m/c, so I could not understand why it was not happening immediately for me. The happy ending was that I ended up getting pregnant 5 months later. So it did happen, just not a quickly as I would have liked.

The best advice I can give is to remember that you CAN get pregnant, which is HUGE. You have a beautiful daughter I see in your avatar, and you got pg again - it just was not successful. I would bet next time it will be, so here's some and

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Im sorry....but it still aint over.....The time i did get pregnant i didnt get a positive until i was late...