| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 [2] 3 |
saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
Posted by JessInCA
Posted by saraH
Let me start by saying, I will not be bringing the baby with me. Not because she was not invited, sh'es 4 months old for crying out loud. But because I kow that this family will get very offended that I tried to steal the brides thunder.
If I did have to bring her, she would wear an appropriate outfit, but would not be dressed as to upstage anyone.
I only thought to ask because I thought if I asked the host of the shower first, and she said it was ok, I would bring her. Then I got to thinking that it would be hard for me to emjoy myself, because I'd ahve to watch the baby and I know she'd be passed around like a football. Which would be fine it it was a home, but in a restaurant, it would just make it harder.
I don't think this thread was directed at you, just for the OP to understand in general why people take issue with it 
I know, I'm not taking it personally. I'm just trying to expalin what I said in my thread.
|
Posted 2/8/08 12:11 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
photoshopbabe
wow....
Member since 5/07 2197 total posts
Name:
linda
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
Posted by MrsPJB2007
honestly--i don't understand the concept these days of bringing kids to just about EVERYTHING.
when i was a kid---my parents just didn't take us with them every time they had an event to go to. if there was a shower, party, wedding, etc.--either they'd get a babysitter or my mom would politely decline if she couldn't find anyone. case closed. that was just the way it was when i was growing up---other parents in our family and neighborhood did the same thing.
when there are parties and functions for adults---like a shower (baby or bridal) i simply don't think babies or kids belong there. JMO
yes!!! i agree 10000%!!!!!!!!!!!
my parents never took us anywhere, nor did they want to-
|
| Posted 2/8/08 1:13 PM |
| |
|
dgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/07 1079 total posts
Name:
Danielle
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
I had 4 (3 were my flower girls and 1 was a friend of mine's daughter) little girls at my bridal shower ranging in ages from 3-6. We set up a little table for them full of coloring books, games, and gave them each a disposable camera to play with. (they took awesome pictures btw LOL)
They were good because a) Their moms took turns checking in on all of them periodically. They were just a few feet away from my table, but checking in on them helped to make sure any issue was pre-empted. b) They were playing together so they were occupied.
That situation was fine. But I've been places where it's just one little kid and they are soooo bored that they acted up.
I agree with PP's that it depends on how the parents are with the kids, and also the wishes of the person of honor.
|
| Posted 2/8/08 1:30 PM |
| |
|
Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
Posted by MrsPJB2007
honestly--i don't understand the concept these days of bringing kids to just about EVERYTHING.
when i was a kid---my parents just didn't take us with them every time they had an event to go to. if there was a shower, party, wedding, etc.--either they'd get a babysitter or my mom would politely decline if she couldn't find anyone. case closed. that was just the way it was when i was growing up---other parents in our family and neighborhood did the same thing.
when there are parties and functions for adults---like a shower (baby or bridal) i simply don't think babies or kids belong there. JMO
I totally agree with you....My parents never got "offended" when they were invited to a party where there were no children invited....they got a babysitter and enjoyed their night....period.
|
| Posted 2/8/08 1:53 PM |
| |
|
LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
Posted by Lisa
Posted by MrsPJB2007
honestly--i don't understand the concept these days of bringing kids to just about EVERYTHING.
when i was a kid---my parents just didn't take us with them every time they had an event to go to. if there was a shower, party, wedding, etc.--either they'd get a babysitter or my mom would politely decline if she couldn't find anyone. case closed. that was just the way it was when i was growing up---other parents in our family and neighborhood did the same thing.
when there are parties and functions for adults---like a shower (baby or bridal) i simply don't think babies or kids belong there. JMO
I totally agree with you....My parents never got "offended" when they were invited to a party where there were no children invited....they got a babysitter and enjoyed their night....period.
ITA!!!!!
|
| Posted 2/8/08 1:58 PM |
| |
|
mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
Posted by MrsPJB2007
honestly--i don't understand the concept these days of bringing kids to just about EVERYTHING.
when i was a kid---my parents just didn't take us with them every time they had an event to go to. if there was a shower, party, wedding, etc.--either they'd get a babysitter or my mom would politely decline if she couldn't find anyone. case closed. that was just the way it was when i was growing up---other parents in our family and neighborhood did the same thing.
when there are parties and functions for adults---like a shower (baby or bridal) i simply don't think babies or kids belong there. JMO
|
| Posted 2/8/08 2:07 PM |
| |
|
Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
SaraH, this was definitely not aimed at you. But your thread brought up an interesting point to me.
Posted by saraH
But because I kow that this family will get very offended that I tried to steal the brides thunder.
It is this thinking (which I know is not yours) that I just don't get.
I agree, children running around and disrupting the event is unfair, not just to the bride, but to all the people attending and those who planned the event.
But its the thought that kids can steal a bride/mom to be's thunder is what I just don't get, and to be honest I still don't.
For my cousin's shower (as I said, DD was invited), when DD and my neice started to get restless, we took them to another room (it was in an empty restaurant with a lot of rooms) and outside so they could run around. I didn't want the kids to cause a scene and interrupt the flow of the shower.
But it never occurred to me that someone would think our kids could steal the bride's thunder.
|
| Posted 2/8/08 2:30 PM |
| |
|
Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
Posted by Shelly
SaraH, this was definitely not aimed at you. But your thread brought up an interesting point to me.
Posted by saraH
But because I kow that this family will get very offended that I tried to steal the brides thunder.
It is this thinking (which I know is not yours) that I just don't get.
I agree, children running around and disrupting the event is unfair, not just to the bride, but to all the people attending and those who planned the event.
But its the thought that kids can steal a bride/mom to be's thunder is what I just don't get, and to be honest I still don't.
For my cousin's shower (as I said, DD was invited), when DD and my neice started to get restless, we took them to another room (it was in an empty restaurant with a lot of rooms) and outside so they could run around. I didn't want the kids to cause a scene and interrupt the flow of the shower.
But it never occurred to me that someone would think our kids could steal the bride's thunder.
Shelly, I'm on the same page. I don't understand. I can understand the reasoning that you don't want to pay for children, or you fear they may be a disruption with tantrums, but to think that a child will steal your thunder? I mean, if it's your wedding, or shower, yes, a few people will come over to see the baby, but does that detract from the fact that everyone is gathering to celebrate the mother-to-be or the bride? No. In my perspective it just adds to the richness and celebration of the day.
|
| Posted 2/8/08 2:37 PM |
| |
|
MrsBlueSash
Love my sailor
Member since 6/05 5793 total posts
Name:
Christian
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
I think its dependent on the host and guest-of-honor. I have some friends and family who are very warm and receptive to children, others are not. No matter how you feel and what perspective you may or may not get, you need to be sensitive to the host and guest-of-honor. Not everyone appreciates children at an event, no matter how lovable and well behaved they are. I love my child but that doesn't mean I have to bring her everywhere and that others just need to suck it up. It just needs to be communicated and respected about what the host and guest-of-honor want. Personally I didn't mind having children at my events, but I understand those that feel it is their ONE day just for them and cute babies don't need to be there and/or the event is for adults and/or they just don't want to be around children, or maybe even there are reasons beyond my understanding, you just never know.
Message edited 2/8/2008 2:56:34 PM.
|
| Posted 2/8/08 2:55 PM |
| |
|
mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
As a mom of an attention-stealing 2 year old, I would never bring her to an event such as this. She is a well -behaved child, but it just doesn't feel like an appropriate function.
Thunder-stealing, bride-whoring whatever...it's not my day, so I am fine if the bride does not want children there for the spotlight...this is hopefully the ONLY time they are getting married.
And I also want to relax and have the champage punch.
|
| Posted 2/8/08 3:01 PM |
| |
|
Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
Posted by oops123
I find it odd that someone would even think of themselves as having to compete for the attention with a baby?!
I don't think it is so much competing with the baby, it is more the point of the mother of the baby looking for attention for her baby, well knowing it is not her day and she will get that attention she seeks.
My friend did this to me and it rubbed me the wrong way b/c I knew she was using my shower as an opportunity to show off her baby to my friends and family. My own cousins in my bridal party left their new babies home, so in my case, a friend is the last person who should take it upon herself to bring her baby (when her DH is home watching a baseball game). Her baby was the only child in the room. There was a room full of women, many mothers of young children. Why didn't all the ladies bring their babies/kids? Why is it ok for just one or two people? Where do you draw the line then?
That is why bringing children to a shower should be left for the siblings of the bride/groom. Otherwise, it will turn out to be a day all about the kiddies running and playing, crying and screaming. That is very unfair to do to a woman who simply wants to enjoy her one and only bridal celebration with the ladies.
Message edited 2/8/2008 3:10:34 PM.
|
| Posted 2/8/08 3:01 PM |
| |
|
Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
Posted by MrsPJB2007
honestly--i don't understand the concept these days of bringing kids to just about EVERYTHING.
when i was a kid---my parents just didn't take us with them every time they had an event to go to. if there was a shower, party, wedding, etc.--either they'd get a babysitter or my mom would politely decline if she couldn't find anyone. case closed. that was just the way it was when i was growing up---other parents in our family and neighborhood did the same thing.
when there are parties and functions for adults---like a shower (baby or bridal) i simply don't think babies or kids belong there. JMO
The more I read your posts, the more I find I agree with your way of thinking!
|
| Posted 2/8/08 3:11 PM |
| |
|
saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
Posted by Shelly
SaraH, this was definitely not aimed at you. But your thread brought up an interesting point to me.
Posted by saraH
But because I kow that this family will get very offended that I tried to steal the brides thunder.
It is this thinking (which I know is not yours) that I just don't get.
I agree, children running around and disrupting the event is unfair, not just to the bride, but to all the people attending and those who planned the event.
But its the thought that kids can steal a bride/mom to be's thunder is what I just don't get, and to be honest I still don't.
For my cousin's shower (as I said, DD was invited), when DD and my neice started to get restless, we took them to another room (it was in an empty restaurant with a lot of rooms) and outside so they could run around. I didn't want the kids to cause a scene and interrupt the flow of the shower.
But it never occurred to me that someone would think our kids could steal the bride's thunder.
I see what you are saying here. I had babies at my bridal shower and I never gave it a second thought. I don't understand why people get so offended if you bring your child to a function.
In this case, I'm keeping here home, I think it's wrong to assume I can just bring here and everyone will love it. I think if it was my family, there would be no issue.
|
| Posted 2/8/08 3:51 PM |
| |
|
Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
Posted by saraH
I see what you are saying here. I had babies at my bridal shower and I never gave it a second thought. I don't understand why people get so offended if you bring your child to a function.
If the children weren't invited, then I can easily see someone being upset.
|
| Posted 2/8/08 3:53 PM |
| |
|
saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
I see clearly that there are different schools of thought on this issue.
If my child was invited to a shower, bridal or othewise, I'd use my discrection about bringing her.
If she was not invited and I was not close to the guest of honor, I would only bring her if I had no other choice and I cleared it with the host first.
Those are the options I see.
|
| Posted 2/8/08 3:55 PM |
| |
|
dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
Posted by nrthshgrl
I've been to showers where there were full-on tantrums because the kids were fighting over who got to open the presents. I've seen kids being allowed to roam when waiters are trying to get by with hot food.
So I'll say this - it depends on the kid, it depends on the environment,it depends on the length of the shower and most importantly it depends on the parents.
Some parents don't control their kids; some kids are uncontrollable.
It takes my attention away from the bride, her guests, etc. if I have to enterain my 4 year old - and she's the easy going one. That's why I don't bring my kids to showers unless specifically requested to bring them (like in the case of my SIL who insisted).
I agree with all of this and will add that sometimes when you bring a child who wasn't specifically invited, all hell breaks loose with family members who get offended with the whole "if she brought her DC, why wasn't I allowed to bring mine??" mentality....
And I agree with Kelly, bring on the champagne punch! I'd enjoy myself more solo.
Message edited 2/8/2008 4:17:46 PM.
|
| Posted 2/8/08 4:17 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
I agree with you. I also think that it depends on the child. I plan to bring DD to DH's cousin's wife's baby shower since she is a good baby. However, I would not bring my DS because he is at that age where he is loud and scootchy and it would not be appropriate. Weddings to me are different, IMO I wouldn't bring my kids to them, showers are more laid back.
|
| Posted 2/8/08 5:23 PM |
| |
|
browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
babies can and will steal the bride-to-be or mom-to-be's thunder
i know because it happened to me.
and i'm not one for all the attention--but when a family member, regardless of how distant, brings the new baby and grandma/aunt/cousin/etc can only focus on the baby and not the reason they are there, it HURTS. understand it or not, but it hurts when you have a 3 hour shower/event and half the room is fawning over a baby instead of spending time with you. and it's a bigger problem usually when it's not your sister's kid--for example DH's family or distant family.
and when i was at my uncle's birthday party a few weeks ago, the kids there (my 3rd cousins) were running around like ANIMALS. and the moms did nothing. they knocked into the busboy, ran through the restaurant and hid under the tables. and nothing was said.
so depending on your family dynamics, it can be a huge issue. at my baby shower, i don't mind if my friends bring their babies. i would love to see them. but that's because my friends are responsible--my cousins' children will NOT be welcome or invited. children were not invited nor welcome at my wedding, and if i had to do it again, i would do it the same way.
|
| Posted 2/8/08 5:28 PM |
| |
|
nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
Posted by LisaW
Posted by Lisa
Posted by MrsPJB2007
honestly--i don't understand the concept these days of bringing kids to just about EVERYTHING.
when i was a kid---my parents just didn't take us with them every time they had an event to go to. if there was a shower, party, wedding, etc.--either they'd get a babysitter or my mom would politely decline if she couldn't find anyone. case closed. that was just the way it was when i was growing up---other parents in our family and neighborhood did the same thing.
when there are parties and functions for adults---like a shower (baby or bridal) i simply don't think babies or kids belong there. JMO
I totally agree with you....My parents never got "offended" when they were invited to a party where there were no children invited....they got a babysitter and enjoyed their night....period.
ITA!!!!!
ITA! Unless the invitation specifically said "Please bring your baby! We'd love to see him!" I wouldn't even ask the host. I think it puts them in an uncomfortable situation. I for one know I wouldn't want babies there, but would rather not be put in the situation to have to say no.
|
| Posted 2/8/08 5:44 PM |
| |
|
mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
Just as some posters on here don't "get" the big deal about bringing babies to adult functions, I don't get why these same posters cannot see the other side - babies are not always wanted at events.
It does not mean the bride to be is a bridezilla. It is one day that is set aside to honor and shower her with attention and if the invitation did not specifically include a child or baby's name, there shouldn't even be a question about bringing the child (Sara - this isn't directed to you, but in general on the topic).
Not everyone wants a baby at an event and to those who say that a baby or child is ALWAYS wanted or always brings happiness to the event, again, not if they were not invited.
|
| Posted 2/8/08 8:05 PM |
| |
|
Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
Posted by mrswask
Not everyone wants a baby at an event and to those who say that a baby or child is ALWAYS wanted or always brings happiness to the event, again, not if they were not invited.
I agree. Babies definitely don't enhance EVERY event. I know everyone loves their own babies, but the reality is not everyone will love a baby at their adult parties/get togethers. And a lot of that would also depend on whose baby and whose function.
Message edited 2/8/2008 8:14:19 PM.
|
| Posted 2/8/08 8:09 PM |
| |
|
Holly
Prayers to those who need them
Member since 5/05 6631 total posts
Name:
Holly
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
I can see how some children/babies would take away from the day for the bride/mom to be...
My brother & SIl wedding, one of their guests must have waited too long for a sitter, and brought her 1 and a half year old..it was a second cousin of the bride..she had only met this boy 1 or 2 times...
Well, looking at her video....it was ALWAYS focused on this baby..always panning back to him, his dancing, his drinking his sippy cup, his laying down on the floor...
As a child, my parents always got a babysitter to attend adult functions with adults..children were not invited, and it was understood. Nobody questioned it...
Honestly, I love chidren to pieces, and hope to be blessed with children soon, but if I am at a bridal shower, I honestly, cannot stand the temper tantrum, the running after the kid, the ooohing and aaahing over the child...
Just my opinion
|
| Posted 2/8/08 8:42 PM |
| |
|
Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
Now that I have a daughter, I enjoy bringing her places with me, and she loves going out and meeting people. I've brought her to baby showers with me. Of course, I asked beforehand, just to be sure...but no one was ever offended. And she's very very very very well behaved. And cute.
I don't know how I'd feel about bringing her to a bridal shower though, because that's a different tone....but a baby shower seems reasonable enough. I had babies at my baby shower and it made me more excited about having a baby of my own!
|
| Posted 2/8/08 9:26 PM |
| |
|
lilacwine
only love...
Member since 5/05 2034 total posts
Name:
<3
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
Posted by mrswask
Just as some posters on here don't "get" the big deal about bringing babies to adult functions, I don't get why these same posters cannot see the other side - babies are not always wanted at events.
It does not mean the bride to be is a bridezilla. It is one day that is set aside to honor and shower her with attention and if the invitation did not specifically include a child or baby's name, there shouldn't even be a question about bringing the child (Sara - this isn't directed to you, but in general on the topic).
Not everyone wants a baby at an event and to those who say that a baby or child is ALWAYS wanted or always brings happiness to the event, again, not if they were not invited.
|
| Posted 2/8/08 11:09 PM |
| |
|
mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
|
Re: Spinoff- Babies at showers
Waskie, you hit it on the head. I would never feel offended if Bella isn't invited somewhere...I just don't. And I would love to have taken a poll of mom's now and how the felt about their wedding a few years back. Feelings change, experiences change outlooks, and it's not fair to assume that people are always going to see things the way you do.
And again, even as a mom, I want the champagne punch, a relaxing meal, and good conversation (and hell, if there is BINGO, peeps better watch out)
|
| Posted 2/9/08 1:00 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 [2] 3 |
