Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

I know this isn't the worst thing in the world, but my husband works nights and weekends. His days off are Tuesday and Wednesday (not his choice). He leaves for work around 3/4 and doesn't get home until 2 or 3 am which mean he then sleeps the next day away. It wasn't bothering me until recently. I hate going places all the time with my kids without my husband. I am sad when I see everyone having family time. During the school year, I try to fit things in on Tuesday and Wednesday's in like dr spots that I can't do when my husband is not home. I don't know what I'm looking for. It's just another Saturday night and I am just feeling sad and lonely. Unfortunately, this is the schedule that works best for us and his days off aren't going to change either. He also doesn't get the same holidays off as I do. I'm planning on going on a cruise next year even without him. Just sucks. And his job isn't changing-it is a great job. Just makes me feel lonely.

Re: Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

Not quite the same because we weren't married or had kids.

But I was seeing someone for a while and his job consisted of working weekends. And not getting off till 4-5 in the morning.
Eventually I told him I couldn't do it anymore. I need someone who's more available. He understood and said it's always a problem when he meets someone.

It can be a very lonely relationship.
I give anyone wife or SO a lot of credit dealing with that schedule. Especially with kids. I know a few woman on here deal with schedule. Hopefully they chime in and offer some suggestions. Support.

Re: Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

Sort of,.....my DH has his regular 9-5, but one of those days is Saturday, so he is off on Thursdays but Im at work. Then he has a 2nd job on thursday and friday nights.

It didn't bother at all until lately. Now the kids are older so I am CONSTANTLY on my own for practices, games, dance classes, bday parties etc. Then i have to bring the other one with me or figure out childcare. Plus, I just miss having family time Friday nights or Sat afternoons. Its exhausting. I also work full time, so I need to decompress to but basically from Weds night to Saturday evening I am on my own and its starting to takes it toll. I don't say anything or take it out on him bc I know he would rather be home with us but he works hard for us.

But it IS exhausting and very recently since the kids schedules have becomes VERY packed and my job has recently become VERY taxing and high pressure, and I want family downtime to just relax and enjoy each other and I want some help.

Again, not his fault, but I feel your pain.

Message edited 6/25/2016 11:55:24 PM.

Re: Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

My husband either works midnight - 8am or 4pm - midnight --- He works most weekends... and his day off (if he even has one) varies. Its never steady. I am constantly attending events without him, and Im on my own most of the time for activities. I work part time.. so when I walk in the door hes walking out most of the time. Tag you're it :) Its been like this since I met him, so im used to it... but it does get frustrating ... Sometimes I need a break.

Re: Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

Message edited 6/26/2016 6:57:25 AM.

Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

Dh works nights. He's home with the boys all day and then we switch off- I come home and he goes to work. Most weekdays I don't even see him because he drops the boys off at his mom's and I get them from there. I see him Tuesdays for 15 minutes, Friday for 3 hours (unless he has to work, which is occasionally), Saturday he works during the day and is home by 4, and Sunday he's home all day, so that's when we get everything done that we need to do. It's a horrible schedule and we're working on changing it, but haven't figured anything out yet. It's very lonely.

Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

My DH works 6 days a week and has a night schedule every other week. So if he's nights, he gets home around 10pm. Sometimes he does overnights too. His only day off is Monday. It's hard because he misses a lot of family/friend parties and really just being home for a family dinner. Luckily, he works days every other week, so we try to plan family things around his schedule when we can. I've gotten used to it and just do a lot of things alone with my DD.

Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

He's fdny so he does work nights and weekends... But not every weekend.


I grew up with my dad working nights every single night tho.

Message edited 6/26/2016 10:06:48 AM.

Re: Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

My DH has Mondays and Tuesdays off. He works every Saturday and Sunday - goes in at 430 am and his home by 3 pm.

Re: Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

we don't have kids but dh used to work a lot of nights and weekends on top of regular 7-3 (construction). It did bother me a lot but the money was good so i had to suck it up.

does your dh have any opportunity in the future to get a regular shift?

Re: Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

Re: Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

Yes

I do.

And Love it!
He's the one to get the girls ready for school, go on school trips, parent conferences, when there's no school- he's home.

We do opposite shifts. It works very well for us.

He's been doing a night shift and working weekends for 20 years.

No complaints from me.

Re: Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

Just wanted to send hugs

Re: Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

It's brutal and has sadly taken a toll on our marriage. He works overnights going on 18+ years. I vacation alone, take trips with the kids alone, attend every event alone. The worst are the other couple dinners and trips that I continue to attend alone with 2 & 3 other couples (I need to keep my relationships with friends and would never go out if I didn't just suck it up and make the best of it).
Sports, school events, birthday parties, even weddings are by myself. There are certainly perks however, he gets up most days with the kids, gets them ready for school, makes lunch and gets them on the bus. He's attended most daytime school events. The money is good (although I'd trade it all to have more time together), I get a lot of "me" time to watch shows, go to yoga. I'm very independent so that helps. I didn't know what I was getting into but he's a wonderful provider, a wonderful man and he is the best of the best in his field. My sacrifice is for the greater good. I just keep perspective. He loves what he does & it makes him happy. Hugs to you, it's a struggle but the grass isn't always greener.

We've had to be creative over the years and although date night is something I could only dream about we do a lot of lunch dates :)

Re: Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

My ex did.

I think it was a contributing factor to our separation and divorce. Of course most of it was personality but this didn't help. And he used it as an excuse to never have to help around the house, or with DS.

Re: Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

THIS was me for 10yrs. I knew what job he took and how it would affect us.
It sucked big time and as I had kids, I found ways to keep busy and entertain all of us with family and friends.
Vacation never became an issue not going together...but I understand how it feels to be alone.

He finally got fri/sat off and works nights still so all I week I call myself the single mom. I do all and we are alone but I look forward to fr and sat together.

Im so used to it and just look forward to retirement together.

Hugs!

Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

Hugs!!!!!!!
Will he eventually get to do day shift?

Re: Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

Mine works 3pm-11pm and then a second job overnight on Thursday and Friday overnights (so he sleeps all day on Saturday). We have Sat nights and Sundays together. It has always bothered me that all of the kids sports, parties, play dates, etc fall on me. I work FT (but with flexible hours thank god) at a stressful job with a 45 minute commute. After rushing home, I have to drag my kids to sports (sometimes back-to-back) five days a week. I'm usually walking around like a zombie with a coffee in my hand trying to feel a little less tired. What totally sucks is that my DH was offered a day shift but he can't take it because it basically screws us for vacations and summers (we would have to pay so much $$ to enroll them somewhere for camp and babysitting during that time, not to mention days when the kids are sick too).

I feel like I resent my kids because I am always with them alone and never have any "me" time.

The only good things that have come from this schedule is that it has saved us money (on childcare & camps because we trade off the kids when I get home from work), he has gotten to do school stuff during the day in my DCs classes and I know that I could totally handle being divored because I am alone all of the time anyway!!!

Message edited 6/27/2016 9:37:32 PM.

Re: Anyone's so work nights and weekends?

my dh is fdny. so he does nights and weekends... not every weekend... but there are times i don't see him during the week for days on end. I have been with him 14 years, and he has worked there for 13 of those 14 - I guess I am just used to it? it does suck sometimes for sure though.

Re: Anyone's so work nights and weekends?