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hopingforbaby
We made a wish & you came true
Member since 2/10 2695 total posts
Name:
Me
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PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
This is terrible.... That poor poor baby. I have not been able to get this out of my head all day.
I know people forget and I totally believe someone could accidentally drive to work with their kids in the back. What gets me is how he was left there for 8 hours. Why didn't someone see him in the car? Why didn't daycare call anyone to see if the child was coming in? Why didn't the mother call the father at any point in the day and inquire how drop-off went? It just breaks my heart to think that if any one of these things happened, this baby could have been saved. 
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Posted 6/19/14 3:42 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21536 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by hopingforbaby
This is terrible.... That poor poor baby. I have not been able to get this out of my head all day.
I know people forget and I totally believe someone could accidentally drive to work with their kids in the back. What gets me is how he was left there for 8 hours. Why didn't someone see him in the car? Why didn't daycare call anyone to see if the child was coming in? Why didn't the mother call the father at any point in the day and inquire how drop-off went? It just breaks my heart to think that if any one of these things happened, this baby could have been saved.
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| Posted 6/19/14 3:46 PM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by tara73
Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee
It sounds like a freak accident and I'm sure the parent has already suffered the worst punishment any parent could go through.
Judging them is not going to bring the child back.
No one is a perfect parent except on LIF, as usual.
Yes. Everyone here is perfect and would never ever do anything wrong or make any mistakes. Or so we'd all like to believe. I don't think ANY ONE of us thinks we are capable of such a horrific thing or that we have the potential, but the reality is that EVERY SINGLE ONE of us could forget and make this mistake. That is what this is.
The most tragic of mistakes. He'll punish himself more than any jail ever would or could.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html
This is a really powerful article. It discusses the issue in detail.
A memory expert, David Diamond, says this:
Our conscious mind prioritizes things by importance, but on a cellular level, our memory does not. If you’re capable of forgetting your cellphone, you are potentially capable of forgetting your child.”
taken from the above quoted article...
"In the last 10 years, it has happened to a dentist. A postal clerk. A social worker. A police officer. An accountant. A soldier. A paralegal. An electrician. A Protestant clergyman. A rabbinical student. A nurse. A construction worker. An assistant principal. It happened to a mental health counselor, a college professor and a pizza chef. It happened to a pediatrician. It happened to a rocket scientist.
Last year it happened three times in one day, the worst day so far in the worst year so far in a phenomenon that gives no sign of abating."
We are doing too much. Phones, emails, work, schedules, practice, meetings, appointments .... SO sad.
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| Posted 6/19/14 3:48 PM |
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Kidsaplenty
Sister love
Member since 2/06 5971 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
I get that for many parents it is a mistake. But its one that I can't even fathom making. When Lily was born, I was STRESSED. I was shuttling my kids to school, my husband to physical rehabilitation, etc. My routine changed daily. I never forgot a kid in the car. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I have to wonder what's so different about me, compared to the other who forgot their kids,
The lack of prosecution in some of these cases is what bothers me. It either opens the door for the perfect murder, because all you have to say is you forgot and you're home free. Or, if you actually did forget, isn't it negligence realistically? If a child died in any other manner that was totally preventable we'd all be saying the parent was negligent and something had to be done.
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| Posted 6/19/14 4:28 PM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by maymama
Posted by tara73
Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee
It sounds like a freak accident and I'm sure the parent has already suffered the worst punishment any parent could go through.
Judging them is not going to bring the child back.
No one is a perfect parent except on LIF, as usual.
Yes. Everyone here is perfect and would never ever do anything wrong or make any mistakes. Or so we'd all like to believe. I don't think ANY ONE of us thinks we are capable of such a horrific thing or that we have the potential, but the reality is that EVERY SINGLE ONE of us could forget and make this mistake. That is what this is.
The most tragic of mistakes. He'll punish himself more than any jail ever would or could.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html
This is a really powerful article. It discusses the issue in detail.
A memory expert, David Diamond, says this:
Our conscious mind prioritizes things by importance, but on a cellular level, our memory does not. If you’re capable of forgetting your cellphone, you are potentially capable of forgetting your child.”
taken from the above quoted article...
"In the last 10 years, it has happened to a dentist. A postal clerk. A social worker. A police officer. An accountant. A soldier. A paralegal. An electrician. A Protestant clergyman. A rabbinical student. A nurse. A construction worker. An assistant principal. It happened to a mental health counselor, a college professor and a pizza chef. It happened to a pediatrician. It happened to a rocket scientist.
Last year it happened three times in one day, the worst day so far in the worst year so far in a phenomenon that gives no sign of abating."
We are doing too much. Phones, emails, work, schedules, practice, meetings, appointments .... SO sad.
This is shocking and horrifying. I'm sure every one that it has happened to would have previously said they would never do that.
I have to agree that we are doing too much and people are too disconnected from the people around us. How did no one see this poor child for 8 hours in a mall parking lot?
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| Posted 6/19/14 4:35 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by Kidsaplenty
I get that for many parents it is a mistake. But its one that I can't even fathom making. When Lily was born, I was STRESSED. I was shuttling my kids to school, my husband to physical rehabilitation, etc. My routine changed daily. I never forgot a kid in the car. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I have to wonder what's so different about me, compared to the other who forgot their kids,
The lack of prosecution in some of these cases is what bothers me. It either opens the door for the perfect murder, because all you have to say is you forgot and you're home free. Or, if you actually did forget, isn't it negligence realistically? If a child died in any other manner that was totally preventable we'd all be saying the parent was negligent and something had to be done.
I agree. I get that it was a mistake but this dad deserves jail time. People make mistakes all the time but doesn't mean it's not a crime because it was a mistake.
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| Posted 6/19/14 4:42 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by tara73
Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee
It sounds like a freak accident and I'm sure the parent has already suffered the worst punishment any parent could go through.
Judging them is not going to bring the child back.
No one is a perfect parent except on LIF, as usual.
Yes. Everyone here is perfect and would never ever do anything wrong or make any mistakes. Or so we'd all like to believe. I don't think ANY ONE of us thinks we are capable of such a horrific thing or that we have the potential, but the reality is that EVERY SINGLE ONE of us could forget and make this mistake. That is what this is.
The most tragic of mistakes. He'll punish himself more than any jail ever would or could.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html
This is a really powerful article. It discusses the issue in detail.
A memory expert, David Diamond, says this:
Our conscious mind prioritizes things by importance, but on a cellular level, our memory does not. If you’re capable of forgetting your cellphone, you are potentially capable of forgetting your child.”
I'm in tears after reading that article. Literally sick to my stomach. I just want to grab DD and hold her tight and never let her go.
Those poor poor babies. 
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| Posted 6/19/14 5:07 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7179 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by alli3131
Posted by Kidsaplenty
I get that for many parents it is a mistake. But its one that I can't even fathom making. When Lily was born, I was STRESSED. I was shuttling my kids to school, my husband to physical rehabilitation, etc. My routine changed daily. I never forgot a kid in the car. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I have to wonder what's so different about me, compared to the other who forgot their kids,
The lack of prosecution in some of these cases is what bothers me. It either opens the door for the perfect murder, because all you have to say is you forgot and you're home free. Or, if you actually did forget, isn't it negligence realistically? If a child died in any other manner that was totally preventable we'd all be saying the parent was negligent and something had to be done.
I agree. I get that it was a mistake but this dad deserves jail time. People make mistakes all the time but doesn't mean it's not a crime because it was a mistake.
But doesn't there have to be some kind of intent or knowledge of wrongdoing to make it a crime?
Everyone who has not does this OF COURSE will say they will never do this. Do you think these parents/caregivers heard these stories before and thought "I'm definitely going to do that one day!" Absolutely not. It just takes one time to make a mistake.
You could turn your oven off every single day, but one day get distracted and burn your house down.
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| Posted 6/19/14 5:21 PM |
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sunnygirl
loving life
Member since 1/07 5413 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
i get forgetting to pick up your child if it is not the normal routine but you strapped your child into the car seat, how do you forget that, people will always say it happens and obviously it does, i just cant imagine forgetting my children in the car
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| Posted 6/19/14 5:42 PM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
I haven't stopped thinking about this. It makes me sick to my stomach. I googled to find the article and it's even more sickening just how many stories come up with this topic of infant and toddler deaths.
I can't even imagine
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| Posted 6/19/14 5:48 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
I don't even know why I am admitting it here but here goes. When ds was little, I arrived at work one day and got out of the car. By some miracle my ds made made some noise and I looked in my back seat before I closed my car door. There he was. He was rear facing and fit so nicely in his seat that it is a miracle I saw him. I drove straight to work and not to his day care. I can't remember why I was so distracted. Maybe it was a late day or he had me up all night. Who knows. All I know is that I was very very close to being one of those tragic stories. Flame away. I am not a bad Mom. I am well educated and have a respected job. I adore my son. I live and breathe for him. But it almost happened. And if it did I honestly can't even imagine how I would allow myself to live another day.
These parents, the one that it happens to by accident, are going to be living in a hell for the rest of their lives. I feel for them. I really do. Just like I feel for the mom whose child wandered away, the kid who was hit by a truck and the child who silently drowns. They are tragic, horrible, unthinkable accidents. No one could ever think it would happen to them and standing on soap boxes proclaiming how bad they are at parenting and how it could never happen to you doesn't make you a better mom. For the longest time I placed my purse in the backseat so that I knew I would see him when I grabbed it. I was terrified.
Message edited 6/19/2014 6:03:16 PM.
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| Posted 6/19/14 5:57 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by Katareen
Posted by alli3131
Posted by Kidsaplenty
I get that for many parents it is a mistake. But its one that I can't even fathom making. When Lily was born, I was STRESSED. I was shuttling my kids to school, my husband to physical rehabilitation, etc. My routine changed daily. I never forgot a kid in the car. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I have to wonder what's so different about me, compared to the other who forgot their kids,
The lack of prosecution in some of these cases is what bothers me. It either opens the door for the perfect murder, because all you have to say is you forgot and you're home free. Or, if you actually did forget, isn't it negligence realistically? If a child died in any other manner that was totally preventable we'd all be saying the parent was negligent and something had to be done.
I agree. I get that it was a mistake but this dad deserves jail time. People make mistakes all the time but doesn't mean it's not a crime because it was a mistake.
But doesn't there have to be some kind of intent or knowledge of wrongdoing to make it a crime?
Everyone who has not does this OF COURSE will say they will never do this. Do you think these parents/caregivers heard these stories before and thought "I'm definitely going to do that one day!" Absolutely not. It just takes one time to make a mistake.
You could turn your oven off every single day, but one day get distracted and burn your house down.
Murder needs intent. Others do not. Child endangerment at the very least. I'm sorry as a parent you have responsibilities. Mistake is omg I left my kid in the car for 20 mins. Gross negligence is I left my kid in there all day and didn't even notice when I got back in.
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| Posted 6/19/14 6:38 PM |
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Jasminscent
LIF Infant
Member since 10/13 122 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by alli3131
Posted by Katareen
Posted by alli3131
Posted by Kidsaplenty
I get that for many parents it is a mistake. But its one that I can't even fathom making. When Lily was born, I was STRESSED. I was shuttling my kids to school, my husband to physical rehabilitation, etc. My routine changed daily. I never forgot a kid in the car. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I have to wonder what's so different about me, compared to the other who forgot their kids,
The lack of prosecution in some of these cases is what bothers me. It either opens the door for the perfect murder, because all you have to say is you forgot and you're home free. Or, if you actually did forget, isn't it negligence realistically? If a child died in any other manner that was totally preventable we'd all be saying the parent was negligent and something had to be done.
I agree. I get that it was a mistake but this dad deserves jail time. People make mistakes all the time but doesn't mean it's not a crime because it was a mistake.
But doesn't there have to be some kind of intent or knowledge of wrongdoing to make it a crime?
Everyone who has not does this OF COURSE will say they will never do this. Do you think these parents/caregivers heard these stories before and thought "I'm definitely going to do that one day!" Absolutely not. It just takes one time to make a mistake.
You could turn your oven off every single day, but one day get distracted and burn your house down.
Murder needs intent. Others do not. Child endangerment at the very least. I'm sorry as a parent you have responsibilities. Mistake is omg I left my kid in the car for 20 mins. Gross negligence is I left my kid in there all day and didn't even notice when I got back in.
To me, gross negligence is a conscious act. Accidentally forgetting a kid is likely not a conscious act. I just feel that many people tend to believe something like this would never happen to them or they would never do such horrible thing, but many do not know the details of the circumstances. Not to lighten the seriousness but I think people shouldn't be so harsh until they walk in that persons shoes.
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| Posted 6/19/14 8:26 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by Jasminscent
Posted by alli3131
Posted by Katareen
Posted by alli3131
Posted by Kidsaplenty
I get that for many parents it is a mistake. But its one that I can't even fathom making. When Lily was born, I was STRESSED. I was shuttling my kids to school, my husband to physical rehabilitation, etc. My routine changed daily. I never forgot a kid in the car. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I have to wonder what's so different about me, compared to the other who forgot their kids,
The lack of prosecution in some of these cases is what bothers me. It either opens the door for the perfect murder, because all you have to say is you forgot and you're home free. Or, if you actually did forget, isn't it negligence realistically? If a child died in any other manner that was totally preventable we'd all be saying the parent was negligent and something had to be done.
I agree. I get that it was a mistake but this dad deserves jail time. People make mistakes all the time but doesn't mean it's not a crime because it was a mistake.
But doesn't there have to be some kind of intent or knowledge of wrongdoing to make it a crime?
Everyone who has not does this OF COURSE will say they will never do this. Do you think these parents/caregivers heard these stories before and thought "I'm definitely going to do that one day!" Absolutely not. It just takes one time to make a mistake.
You could turn your oven off every single day, but one day get distracted and burn your house down.
Murder needs intent. Others do not. Child endangerment at the very least. I'm sorry as a parent you have responsibilities. Mistake is omg I left my kid in the car for 20 mins. Gross negligence is I left my kid in there all day and didn't even notice when I got back in.
To me, gross negligence is a conscious act. Accidentally forgetting a kid is likely not a conscious act. I just feel that many people tend to believe something like this would never happen to them or they would never do such horrible thing, but many do not know the details of the circumstances. Not to lighten the seriousness but I think people shouldn't be so harsh until they walk in that persons shoes.
Negligence is measured against a reasonably prudent person.
My guess if this was ny then the would try to charge with involuntary manslaughter. But I think this recent one was another state.
But really what it comes down to is this man caused the death of his child. Plain and simple. That kid would still be alive but for his fathers actions and the man should be n jail.
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| Posted 6/19/14 8:32 PM |
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by Chai77
I'm surprised people think this is understandable! I have never forgotten my children in the car. Neither has my DH. For an entire work day no less?! I do think he should be charged. Can you imagine baking to death because your parent forgot about you? Ugh.
I unleashed a hate storm a few years ago stating something similar. But I still agree 100%.
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| Posted 6/19/14 8:52 PM |
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noworlater
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 1528 total posts
Name:
Now!
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
One of my biggest fears :( can't imagine the horror the child went thru and the parent realizing the mistake
I think it can happen to any one... Especially working parents in a hurry..
I think I read there are alarms you can buy but no one ever thinks they'd forget
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| Posted 6/19/14 9:06 PM |
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noworlater
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 1528 total posts
Name:
Now!
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Also I always wonder why the child day care or baby sitter didn't call in these cases ? (I didn't read the recent article you all are speaking of - I just can't )
There should be some sort of policy that if the baby doesn't show up that morning that the day care do all they can to track down the parent or next contact person on their list until they reach someone. They can't just shrug their shoulders and assume all is well, 'just out today I guess'
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| Posted 6/19/14 9:56 PM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by noworlater
There should be some sort of policy that if the baby doesn't show up that morning that the day care do all they can to track down the parent or next contact person on their list until they reach someone. They can't just shrug their shoulders and assume all is well, 'just out today I guess'
You would think this was standard policy
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| Posted 6/19/14 10:15 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by noworlater
Also I always wonder why the child day care or baby sitter didn't call in these cases ? (I didn't read the recent article you all are speaking of - I just can't )
There should be some sort of policy that if the baby doesn't show up that morning that the day care do all they can to track down the parent or next contact person on their list until they reach someone. They can't just shrug their shoulders and assume all is well, 'just out today I guess'
I don't think that is feasible. It could take hours to do that for every absent kid. It's the parents responsibility to ensure their children are safe ultimately.
I could understand forgetting something when you're tired/stressed/doing some not routine. However, I think 8+ hours is a long time to forget, and I also think regardless of it being understandable in a sense, this parent is still 100% responsible and was clearly negligent.
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| Posted 6/19/14 11:04 PM |
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readyfor3
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/10 751 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
What baffles me is that some of these babies were left in the car for up to 8 hours! In 8 hours the thought of their child did not cross their minds!!!
Do daycares call the parents if kids are absent without notice? This could be a life saver in a lot of cases!
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| Posted 6/20/14 7:45 AM |
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momtimes2
LIF Infant
Member since 4/14 333 total posts
Name:
stephanie
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by readyfor3
What baffles me is that some of these babies were left in the car for up to 8 hours! In 8 hours the thought of their child did not cross their minds!!!
Do daycares call the parents if kids are absent without notice? This could be a life saver in a lot of cases!
I know for many of the stories, the parents thought that they actually dropped their child off or that the child was where they were supposed to be (daycare, school, etc)
such a sad thing and I am sure there is no tougher punishment than this father having to live with the idea that he is the cause of his child's death. I just cannot imagine the pain he must feel
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| Posted 6/20/14 8:09 AM |
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JP826
=)
Member since 9/06 10903 total posts
Name:
Me!! All about ME!
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by Loveme
Posted by Chai77
I'm surprised people think this is understandable! I have never forgotten my children in the car. Neither has my DH. For an entire work day no less?! I do think he should be charged. Can you imagine baking to death because your parent forgot about you? Ugh.
ITA
ITA as well.
Completely agree. I cant fathom the thought of "forgetting" . Sorry, I just cant.
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| Posted 6/20/14 8:46 AM |
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JP826
=)
Member since 9/06 10903 total posts
Name:
Me!! All about ME!
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Message edited 6/20/2014 8:51:21 AM.
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| Posted 6/20/14 8:50 AM |
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CallaLily
Thank you, Saint Gerard!
Member since 10/07 4937 total posts
Name:
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Re: PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
Posted by sfp0701
I don't even know why I am admitting it here but here goes. When ds was little, I arrived at work one day and got out of the car. By some miracle my ds made made some noise and I looked in my back seat before I closed my car door. There he was. He was rear facing and fit so nicely in his seat that it is a miracle I saw him. I drove straight to work and not to his day care. I can't remember why I was so distracted. Maybe it was a late day or he had me up all night. Who knows. All I know is that I was very very close to being one of those tragic stories. Flame away. I am not a bad Mom. I am well educated and have a respected job. I adore my son. I live and breathe for him. But it almost happened. And if it did I honestly can't even imagine how I would allow myself to live another day.
These parents, the one that it happens to by accident, are going to be living in a hell for the rest of their lives. I feel for them. I really do. Just like I feel for the mom whose child wandered away, the kid who was hit by a truck and the child who silently drowns. They are tragic, horrible, unthinkable accidents. No one could ever think it would happen to them and standing on soap boxes proclaiming how bad they are at parenting and how it could never happen to you doesn't make you a better mom. For the longest time I placed my purse in the backseat so that I knew I would see him when I grabbed it. I was terrified.
Thank you for posting this. It was very brave to admit that this happened to you. Thank God you saw him and that he was ok.
Message edited 6/20/2014 9:04:12 AM.
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| Posted 6/20/14 9:03 AM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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PSA. Please do not forget your children in the car!!
One question : if you thought you dropped your child off at the babysitter / daycare wouldn't you remember not bringing the child in , saying goodbye to the child etc , then driving to your place of work ? That seems like a pretty big thing to forget ! If you took your baby with you on an errand and left him in the car when you arrived that seems a bit more plausible.
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| Posted 6/20/14 9:16 AM |
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