Help with my 4.5 year old DS and his behavior

I feel like I am losing control with him and I hate it.

Let me preface this by saying I have 4 year old twins and a 2 year old (who pushes everyone's buttons)

Lately he has become a whiner, complainer, nothing is ever good enough little boy.

Recently if he doesn't get what he wants or if he gets sent to his room for something he has done he becomes aggressive. It is usually when I am trying to physically remove him from a situation where he is out of control. But for example the other day in target he didn't get the seat he wanted in the cart and he lost it. He started to punch his brother and sister and was screaming. I left the store and he had a consequence.

Tonight the twins kept running around while I was giving the younger one a bath and I kept telling them to stop repeatedly since my DD got stitches yesterday. They didn't so they lost TV and a book before bed. My DD did fine with it and went right to bed and he lost it again...yelling screaming and punching me.

I am at my wits end and so upset by this. This is a relatively new behavior (2-3 months). I have had a pysch eval done through the district when he was evaluated for speech and he did very well.

Any suggestions on how to get through to him. ?????

Message edited 7/16/2015 8:24:42 PM.

Help with my 4.5 year old DS and his behavior

I was literally about to come on and post something similar after tonight's nightmare except I'm having an issue with all three. My twins are 4.5 and my DS is the same way you describe yours. He's always been a whiner, more sensitive and a screamer but the past few months he's been hitting and punching his brother and sister. Tonight they were in The playroom and DD apparently hit DS but instead of telling us (because we didn't see it) he hit her and pushed her into the play kitchen and now she's got a nice bruise on her face. My 2.5 year old pushes everyone's buttons. He can be so sweet but he is completely out of control. My DD has a bad temper. Since she was a baby her temper has been bad and we work through it by breathing and counting. But between the three of them I'm at my wits end. I can't get them to get a long, I can't get them to clean up anything. I've bagged up all their toys and "gave them away" for over a week. They didn't care. I have behavior charts, TWO OF THEM, and it still doesn't help. I'm seriously thinking about seeking a behavioral therapist......or super nanny. I've definitely lost control of them and I don't know what to do anymore. I don't have any suggestions but wanted to offer hugs! I know what you're going through!

Re: Help with my 4.5 year old DS and his behavior

Re: Help with my 4.5 year old DS and his behavior

Posted by allIwant

Posted by luckysmom

I was literally about to come on and post something similar after tonight's nightmare except I'm having an issue with all three. My twins are 4.5 and my DS is the same way you describe yours. He's always been a whiner, more sensitive and a screamer but the past few months he's been hitting and punching his brother and sister. Tonight they were in The playroom and DD apparently hit DS but instead of telling us (because we didn't see it) he hit her and pushed her into the play kitchen and now she's got a nice bruise on her face. My 2.5 year old pushes everyone's buttons. He can be so sweet but he is completely out of control. My DD has a bad temper. Since she was a baby her temper has been bad and we work through it by breathing and counting. But between the three of them I'm at my wits end. I can't get them to get a long, I can't get them to clean up anything. I've bagged up all their toys and "gave them away" for over a week. They didn't care. I have behavior charts, TWO OF THEM, and it still doesn't help. I'm seriously thinking about seeking a behavioral therapist......or super nanny. I've definitely lost control of them and I don't know what to do anymore. I don't have any suggestions but wanted to offer hugs! I know what you're going through!

Uhhhhh Thank you! and hugs to you!
I couldn't imagine the chaos if our kids were together in one house.

I think I am going to Nanny 911 them this weekend since we have to lay low anyway because of DD's stitches.

Ill keep you posted if anything works.
Crying in front of him seemed to get through a little to him. I will see what tomorrow brings...for now its wine for me

Re: Help with my 4.5 year old DS and his behavior

I'm sorry. I don't really have any advice. I brought my twins to a developmental ped and one of them has similar issues to what you mentioned. The ped mentioned to try the book 1,2,3 magic. I just got it today but it has great reviews online. Now I just have to read it but am willing to try anything!

Re: Help with my 4.5 year old DS and his behavior

Re: Help with my 4.5 year old DS and his behavior

My almost 4.5 yr old DD is a bit much at times as well, everyone says its the age. 4 is by far the worst yet. She fears no punishment and when things get taken away. I'm at a loss, but I continue to take things away and give time outs. I don't know what else to do.

Re: Help with my 4.5 year old DS and his behavior

Look into Oppositional Defiance Disorder. It's a medical diagnosis, and there are lots of books, blogs, websites, etc. on it. They may have some ideas that might work with your DC. With O.D.D., you can't just "try this trick, it worked for me..." It takes a lot of time and effort. Every O.D.D. child is different, so what works for some will have no effect on others.
Hang in there, you're not alone....

Re: Help with my 4.5 year old DS and his behavior

Posted by GoldenRod

Look into Oppositional Defiance Disorder. It's a medical diagnosis, and there are lots of books, blogs, websites, etc. on it. They may have some ideas that might work with your DC. With O.D.D., you can't just "try this trick, it worked for me..." It takes a lot of time and effort. Every O.D.D. child is different, so what works for some will have no effect on others.
Hang in there, you're not alone....

Re: Help with my 4.5 year old DS and his behavior

My daughters are six and one still has pretty bad tantrums. It was worse when she was younger. I think being proactive works. Give choices and let him feel in control. Let him know what is going to happen. For example, we are going to the park today and I am not buying ice cream so Indont want you upset or I giving so and so a bath I need you to play nicely. Making sure he is always busy. I know easier said then done. You may want to start a good behavior sticker chart.

Re: Help with my 4.5 year old DS and his behavior

you are not alone! my just turned 5 yo has been like you describe. he hits , kicks, punches, and throws things when he is not getting his way. We are having a tough time of getting a handle on it, especially since he won't go to time out. He needs to be carried up , and it's not been good. Trying to get a screaming, hitting, and kicking 5 year old up to his room is not fun. We have tried 1,2,3 magic, didn't work. I also spoke with his PED and was told it's normal for kids to flip out at home, but be very well behaved at school, etc.

Hang in there