Please give advice on behavior problems of a 5 year old

My friend lives out of state and has a 5 year old son and 3 year old daughter. Her 5 year old son started kindergarten this year. He is normally very well behaved, but he has been misbehaving badly in school. He loves , but for some reason he is really acting out. He has told a teacher "No!" when told to go to punishment, pulled down a 4th graders pants, put holes in the table with a scissors, and put holes in his pants with the scissors while waiting for the principal. He has some very good days, but then he acts out again.

She is not sure how to approach it and I don't have much advice for her b/c I have no experience with this age group. Nothing at home is very different as far as my friend can tell. She has spoken to him and he says he is sorry, but then he acts out again. Since he is punished in school, she doesn't think punishing him at home is the answer, especially since he is 5 and 5 year olds don't remember things the same way older children do. She and her husband run a tight ship at home, but she is not sure what to do.

Any advice? TIA

Message edited 10/19/2009 1:33:37 PM.

Re: Please give advice on behavior problems of a 5 year

His entire world has been completely turned upside down. He used to be home with Mom and Dad, getting all the attention he needs and wants. Now, he's in a strange place, with dozens of other kids, all vying for one (or two) teacher's attention. He's learned that if he acts out, he gets a lot of attention. Kids are pretty smart, even at 5 years old. They do understand most of what they are doing, and what the results will be.
For some DC, positive reinforcement for good behavior works best. Keep a chart of "good days", and X number of "good days" gets a special reward (time alone with Mom or Dad doing what DC wants to do, for example). The definition of a "good day" is up to the parents, and can change as needed (but not too drastically, or too suddenly).

Re: Please give advice on behavior problems of a 5 year

Why not talk to the school psychologist? That is why they are there.

Re: Please give advice on behavior problems of a 5 year old

Thanks for the suggestions. I will mention them to my friend.