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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
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Felt so bad yesterday
A middle of the day parade at daycare is one of the dumbest things I've heard of. What's even the point? Obviously the kids are all there because the parents are WORKING. Stupid.
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Posted 11/1/13 5:45 PM  |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
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..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Felt so bad yesterday
Posted by Saphire01
Posted by mommy2devin
Posted by MarisaK
Oh yeah, thanks for this .........I'm the parent that wasn't at the parade yestereday ..........I guess it just wasn't 'important enough' for me to be there .........
Thanks for the reminder that you showed up and I didn't, and those poor poor children who's parents' weren't there for them cried and were so sad and were searching the halls for them ........
Thansk for the reminder and the visual ........
Yep, as if I didn't/don't feel bad enough already.... :( I work because I have to NOT because I want to. Of course I would have loved to be there, but it wasn't possible. Now, I am picturing my son being the "poor child" with nobody there that loves him... 
I read so many threads where women say they work, not because they are desperate for money, but because they NEED to get out of the house. They just "can't" be home with their kids all day.
I am one of those moms. And not ashamed of it at all. Yes, we do need the money. It helps a lot. But even if I won lotto tomorrow, I'd still work. I am not cut out to be a stay at home mom, never was.
Having said that, I mentioned earlier that one of the reasons I love my job so much is t affords me the freedom to go to these things at daycare, go to dr appts with her, work from home when she is sick, etc.
Maybe I'd feel differently if it didn't.
But even though I don't have it in me to stay home with DD all day, doesn't mean I don't love her more than life itself and that she doesn't come first in my life.
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| Posted 11/1/13 6:26 PM |
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Teachergal
We made a snowman!
Member since 1/08 3239 total posts
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Re: Felt so bad yesterday
Posted by mosh913
I'm sure it's extremely important to the other parents as well. It's not like they don't care. I'm a teacher and Halloween isnonenof the biggest days of the year. Sure I could take off, I guess, but I save my days for when my children are sick. We sent my parents for my DS. I understand your post but I think it's a hit insensitive for parents on here who may not have been able to attend their child's.
Yup, this is how I feel too. It's probably important to those other parents too, but they just can't take the time. I happened to be able to go yesterday but haven't in the past and it SUCKS but it is what it is. I get that you really felt bad, but this post is a bit like a kick in the gut. We already know our kids feel sad when we're not there and other parents are.
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| Posted 11/1/13 10:29 PM |
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Teachergal
We made a snowman!
Member since 1/08 3239 total posts
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Re: Felt so bad yesterday
Posted by Saphire01
Posted by mommy2devin
Posted by MarisaK
Oh yeah, thanks for this .........I'm the parent that wasn't at the parade yestereday ..........I guess it just wasn't 'important enough' for me to be there .........
Thanks for the reminder that you showed up and I didn't, and those poor poor children who's parents' weren't there for them cried and were so sad and were searching the halls for them ........
Thansk for the reminder and the visual ........
Yep, as if I didn't/don't feel bad enough already.... :( I work because I have to NOT because I want to. Of course I would have loved to be there, but it wasn't possible. Now, I am picturing my son being the "poor child" with nobody there that loves him...
I read so many threads where women say they work, not because they are desperate for money, but because they NEED to get out of the house. They just "can't" be home with their kids all day.
I'm sorry but what the hell is the point of your post? That because a woman wants to work, they can't also want to be there to celebrate important, special occasions in their child's life? And what about those moms that don't agree and really don't want to be working? I just don't understand what you were getting at with your post saphire01.
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| Posted 11/1/13 10:33 PM |
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gdubs
This baby is awesome!
Member since 11/10 2467 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Felt so bad yesterday
I was so focused on watching DS I didn't even think of this... UGH. That is really sad. Luckily DH and I were both able to make it, I am sure there will be years one or both of us won't be able to.
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| Posted 11/1/13 10:38 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
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Felt so bad yesterday
Aw ww, feel bad for them but what can you do? If you,can't get the day off there's not much you can do. I'm in retail so i may not get every weekend off but on the bright side I can schedule around these things and not have to use personal days etc and still attend events...
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| Posted 11/1/13 10:56 PM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
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Re: Felt so bad yesterday
 very sorry I read this post. I missed my DD's parade and halloween craft yesterday. She lead the parade and had a lot of people telling me how cute she looked. Now I feel worse that I missed it because I know she was upset. I was stuck in the ped ER with my younger one for 8 hours who also missex halloween
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| Posted 11/2/13 6:58 AM |
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Naturalmama
Love my boys!!
Member since 1/12 3548 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Felt so bad yesterday
I went to see my 2.5 yr old DS at his Halloween parade on Thursday. I was standing right next to a mother who was taking pictures of a few of the kids because their parents couldn't be there. They were older- 4 & 5. The kids didn't seem to care, everyone was smiling & having a good time. While some kids may get upset that they don't have someone there, just as many don't. So, please don't feel guilty. I know it is hard picturing your child crying as they look for you, but I am pretty sure that does not always happen. Your kids know you love them. I was only able to go because I am working 1 day a week right now. Come January, when I go back full time, I will be missing a lot of my boys daycare activities. It makes me sad but I know they will be fine.
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| Posted 11/2/13 9:11 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Felt so bad yesterday
I could have taken the day as I have a boss that it very flexible but to me that was not one of the important activities that he needed me for. There will be more important things than a Halloween parade at daycare that he will need me for.
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| Posted 11/2/13 1:12 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
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Me
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Felt so bad yesterday
That is so sad. Poor little girl :(
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| Posted 11/2/13 11:39 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
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Veronica
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Re: Felt so bad yesterday
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Saphire01
Posted by mommy2devin
Posted by MarisaK
Oh yeah, thanks for this .........I'm the parent that wasn't at the parade yestereday ..........I guess it just wasn't 'important enough' for me to be there .........
Thanks for the reminder that you showed up and I didn't, and those poor poor children who's parents' weren't there for them cried and were so sad and were searching the halls for them ........
Thansk for the reminder and the visual ........
Yep, as if I didn't/don't feel bad enough already.... :( I work because I have to NOT because I want to. Of course I would have loved to be there, but it wasn't possible. Now, I am picturing my son being the "poor child" with nobody there that loves him...
I read so many threads where women say they work, not because they are desperate for money, but because they NEED to get out of the house. They just "can't" be home with their kids all day.
I am one of those moms. And not ashamed of it at all. Yes, we do need the money. It helps a lot. But even if I won lotto tomorrow, I'd still work. I am not cut out to be a stay at home mom, never was.
Having said that, I mentioned earlier that one of the reasons I love my job so much is t affords me the freedom to go to these things at daycare, go to dr appts with her, work from home when she is sick, etc.
Maybe I'd feel differently if it didn't.
But even though I don't have it in me to stay home with DD all day, doesn't mean I don't love her more than life itself and that she doesn't come first in my life.
This.. you said it better than me. I also am one of 'those moms' who would rather work than be a SAHM (because Id be horrible at it). That does not mean I love her less nor that I would just brush off a school thing. I've been to every school event/function since her birth and I have no plans on missing any in the future.
My child isn't suffering because I work full time. She's happy in school (now kindergarten).
That said, not everyone can be there all the time. Single moms, moms with more than one child in different classes. Things happen. I do feel for the kiddo who's solo and AJ is very good at inviting them to sit with us when she can. I have no issue trying to help them feel like its just not a big thing when I can.
I always think "damn.. that mom/dad must be busy, sucks" shit happens. When I travel for work it will just be Jim with her. He knows he'll have to take time off. But what about single moms? I know one who has twins in different rooms, she always struggled to get to do stuff with both.
It is sad.. but you just count your lucky stars and hope you can continue on.
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| Posted 11/3/13 9:21 AM |
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alisha
LIF Adult
Member since 3/07 1199 total posts
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Re: Felt so bad yesterday
Posted by MarisaK
Oh yeah, thanks for this .........I'm the parent that wasn't at the parade yestereday ..........I guess it just wasn't 'important enough' for me to be there .........
Thanks for the reminder that you showed up and I didn't, and those poor poor children who's parents' weren't there for them cried and were so sad and were searching the halls for them ........
Thansk for the reminder and the visual ........
Couldn't have said it better.
What is the point of this thread?
Thank goodness my neighborhood's Halloween parade is from 6-8. So all parents, working or not, could attend.
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| Posted 11/3/13 9:43 AM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
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Me
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Re: Felt so bad yesterday
Posted by alisha
Posted by MarisaK
Oh yeah, thanks for this .........I'm the parent that wasn't at the parade yestereday ..........I guess it just wasn't 'important enough' for me to be there .........
Thanks for the reminder that you showed up and I didn't, and those poor poor children who's parents' weren't there for them cried and were so sad and were searching the halls for them ........
Thansk for the reminder and the visual ........
Couldn't have said it better.
What is the point of this thread?
Thank goodness my neighborhood's Halloween parade is from 6-8. So all parents, working or not, could attend.
. I didn't interpret the op's comments as an attack. I think she just felt sorry for the little girl and was sharing her experience. Not everyone can always get off work for every event. It doesn't mean the person loves her kid any less.
Message edited 11/3/2013 3:21:01 PM.
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| Posted 11/3/13 3:11 PM |
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skinny
3 boys and a princess!
Member since 11/08 8178 total posts
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Momma
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Re: Felt so bad yesterday
I read this yesterday and am still thinking about it today. I just don't understand why you even posted this. Clearly there are a lot of working moms on here who can't get to parades, etc. So the "sad child" you saw could be the child of someone on here. Why try to make people feel bad?
I work FT and can't get to all of my kids' events. It's not that it isn't "really important" to me to be there. 
I'm sorry but this is just a really insensitive and somewhat dumb thing to say.
If you do work FT, you'll definitely be on the other side of the fence at some point and maybe then you'll think about what you said here.
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| Posted 11/4/13 12:34 PM |
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Re: Felt so bad yesterday
Posted by ali120206
There seemed to only be one kid left when we were leaving yesterday as well (an infant). So sad. We were the last family there since DS 2 wanted to finish his snack and took his sweet time doing so (which is opposite DS 1 who was the first one to leave his class).
I don't recall having that many people show up for the daycare parade in the past (but, they did push it back this year to 4pm so more people were probably able to make it).
Not sure where you go but DS goes to tutor time for before/after care. I didn't know the place was going to clear out like that after the parade.
When I picked DS up, he was the only kid....except for one baby.
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| Posted 11/4/13 1:06 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
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Re: Felt so bad yesterday
Posted by WannaBeAMom11
This post actually came up because my co-worker told me she never goes to any events because the kids don't remember it. And one of the mothers who works a block away had to be talked into coming by the daycare teacher bc she would have rather gotten her nails done. Heard that straight from the mom's mouth.
I'm not judging, sorry I came across like that. I just felt bad for the crying kid. Dh grew up with his parents only coming to one school event in his entire childhood. I'm sure no one on this board is like that.
REALLY???
Does no one work out there?
My parents couldn't go to many of my school plays and parades as a little kid... because they held jobs, full time jobs where you couldn't slip out, which helped me pay for college, and get to where I am today.
It's sad that the schools don't get it.
My kids will be the crying ones too... unfortunately, until they are old enough to understand that the reason mama and papa work is for them (because we are BOTH professionals like they both will be).
Please don't cry for my children: they'll be more than fine.
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| Posted 11/4/13 2:10 PM |
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blue11
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 1706 total posts
Name:
kat
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Re: Felt so bad yesterday
Posted by Saphire01
Posted by mommy2devin
Posted by MarisaK
Oh yeah, thanks for this .........I'm the parent that wasn't at the parade yestereday ..........I guess it just wasn't 'important enough' for me to be there .........
Thanks for the reminder that you showed up and I didn't, and those poor poor children who's parents' weren't there for them cried and were so sad and were searching the halls for them ........
Thansk for the reminder and the visual ........
Yep, as if I didn't/don't feel bad enough already.... :( I work because I have to NOT because I want to. Of course I would have loved to be there, but it wasn't possible. Now, I am picturing my son being the "poor child" with nobody there that loves him...
I read so many threads where women say they work, not because they are desperate for money, but because they NEED to get out of the house. They just "can't" be home with their kids all day.
one has nothing to do with the other and this comment is totally off base. I work because I need to but would work even if i had an option because I like it, i worked hard for my career, and it is a career not just a job. Not because "i cant" be home with DS all day thats ridiculous. And just because I work doesn't mean i don't try and make an effort to be there for all his events or wouldn't be upset if there was something i missed.
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| Posted 11/4/13 2:18 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Felt so bad yesterday
Posted by forevermylilgirls
Posted by Saphire01
Posted by mommy2devin
Posted by MarisaK
Oh yeah, thanks for this .........I'm the parent that wasn't at the parade yestereday ..........I guess it just wasn't 'important enough' for me to be there .........
Thanks for the reminder that you showed up and I didn't, and those poor poor children who's parents' weren't there for them cried and were so sad and were searching the halls for them ........
Thansk for the reminder and the visual ........
Yep, as if I didn't/don't feel bad enough already.... :( I work because I have to NOT because I want to. Of course I would have loved to be there, but it wasn't possible. Now, I am picturing my son being the "poor child" with nobody there that loves him...
I read so many threads where women say they work, not because they are desperate for money, but because they NEED to get out of the house. They just "can't" be home with their kids all day.
Right but I don't think any mother would miss their child's parade for the hell of it. I am sure if a mother missed it, there is a VERY good reason- they just couldn't get out of work! And I am sure if they had a choice, they would rather be with their kid!
Um, I am one of those mothers that works because I want to, not b/c I have to. That doesn't mean there aren't days that I wish I could be w/ my kids instead of at work, or wish my job was more flexible so I could run to these types of things on a whim. I'm SURE that SAHMs have days that THEY wish they could get 4 minutes to go pee w/o a knock on the door!
But things aren't always perfect and you make choices. I choose to work, yes.
And while I don't AT ALL think the OP meant this as some nasty attack on parents who weren't there ........well, why couldn't you just say "I went to my kids' parade today and I'm so happy I was there to see it b/c she lookes so cute and happy and blah blah" - Why a post about how horrible you felt for the 'other' kids whose parents weren't there, while you were there b/c you felt it was important - and you just wanted to give that poor crying dissapointed in their mother kid a hug - it's just comes off as passive agressive like "Look what I did for my kid, I feel so good about myself"
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| Posted 11/4/13 2:35 PM |
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