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Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
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Re: Do your parents and/or ILs
Posted by Cindyrella
Actually I ask both sets of grandparents to not buy DS toys other than birthdays & holidays (personally just think it helps to keep the getting spoiled part under control - grandparents can go crazy sometimes with that stuff). But both have some toys at their house (mainly from past grandkids - or sometimes duplicated of gifts DS got) to keep at their house for DS to play with.
But if he ever asked to take anything home the answer would be a big no on my part. I think its important to teach as early as possible that you cant always have anything you want.
Ive been doing this since he was a baby and never have any trouble with DS asking for things and getting mad or upset if we say no. Honestly I don't think he's ever asked once to take a toy home from either grandparents. He also never asks for things when we go to the store etc.
My in laws used to babysit for their other grandkids from years ago so they have a ton of toys at their house, the grandkids play with the toys while they are there and that's it- never been a problem.
My parents have the same situation they have some of our old toys and they have bought a bunch of new toys for my daughter and my niece to play with when they are there (which is not particularly often). My niece tried to take something home the other day and my mom would not let her, I don't think it was mean or manipulative-- it was just meant as a toy to be shared so to allow her to take it home would be unfair to my DD for example.
So I think it depends on the scenario if it was just one grandkid, I think it would be odd not to let her take it home, if it was a gift bought specifically for that child, odd not to let her take it home. Otherwise, I get it.
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Posted 10/21/13 3:15 PM  |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: Do your parents and/or ILs
Frankly.. I prefer she leaves toys at Auntie's house..
I dont want any more crap in my house!!!
Plus since sometimes she doesn't want to go to auntie's house is nice to say "well she has XZY toy, remember?" boy does that turn around her tune, she can't get in the car fast enough.
I won't buy crossiants for home, auntie does however. I have a tablet for her to use, auntie does not.
I have never had an issue with the 'toy stays here' theory. And like I said, I actually LOVE it!
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| Posted 10/21/13 4:44 PM |
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MrsH2009
Thank you St. Gerard!
Member since 8/09 6631 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Do your parents and/or ILs
I've never heard of this, it sounds mean to me.
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| Posted 10/21/13 8:16 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Do your parents and/or ILs
My ILs do that as well with some things.
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| Posted 10/21/13 8:32 PM |
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charon54
My two boys!
Member since 5/05 7279 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Do your parents and/or ILs
I wish they would, we have way too many toys at our house. I ask them to keep them there.
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| Posted 10/21/13 8:49 PM |
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MrsKelly
just hangin' around...
Member since 11/06 6305 total posts
Name:
Krista
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Re: Do your parents and/or ILs
Posted by MrsDamonSalv7319
Just wait until he cries about it one day, and then tell him in front of MIL that MIL said the toy HAS to stay at her house...I'm sure at that point the guilt will make her see the error of her ways!!
The concept of keeping toys at grandparents house is a good one, but iMO, it should be you that decides which toys to keep there. (Unless your ILs have other grand kids and have a toybox full of toys for all of their grand kids). I keep toys at my moms bc we go their a lot and its easier to have stuff there that Dd likes to play with. But if its a new toy/gift, I think it's a little silly to make your DS leave it behind.
I agree with all of this.
I bring dd to my parents probably once a week on average, and she has a lot of toys and books there. but my mom couldn't care less WHAT is there, just that some things are. so we can trade toys etc so she doesn't get sick of things etc.
dd is only 11.5 months so there's nothing that she gets that she feels like she wants so bad to bring home with her... yet... but when she does, I can't ever see my mom saying, "no that HAS to stay at my house".
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| Posted 10/21/13 9:22 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
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I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Do your parents and/or ILs
My il's may have doubles of something, but not something that is just for their house.
They have different toys that stay there, but the girls are there a lot so that makes sense.
What you are saying would make me nutty
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| Posted 10/21/13 9:46 PM |
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babymakes3
Almost there!
Member since 7/06 7376 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do your parents and/or ILs
My parents bought toys but they are "grandma's toys" and they stay there for all the grandchildren to enjoy when visiting. I'd suggest she start doing that. It works well for us!
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| Posted 10/21/13 10:24 PM |
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SweetPeaMomma
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/07 806 total posts
Name:
jen
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Re: Do your parents and/or ILs
I think it's a good idea & can understand why the grandparent gets excited to keep the toys they purchased for their grandchild at their home; I'm sure it brings them joy to see the toys enjoyed in their environment.. My DS isn't often at any of the grandparents' homes but when he is, it's nice that he has stuff there. But if your LO really loves a you they give & wants to bring it home I do think it'd be a little mean (not mean, even - just not so nice) for the grandparent to say no. But not the end of the world. Just my opinion. :)
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| Posted 10/22/13 5:58 AM |
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evenedan
Need a little sunshine
Member since 9/05 3843 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Do your parents and/or ILs
Both my mom and sister do this, I see it as thoughtful, not manipulative or mean. They just want to make my child more at home in their houses by having some fun stuff for them to play with. I'm appreciative of that. I'm also appreciative of not having to lug a bunch of toys when we go to visit.
My DD hasn't tried to bring anything home yet, but I'm sure neither one of them would have a problem if she did. But I would actually prefer to tell DD that it stays at Grandma's house, end of discussion.
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| Posted 10/22/13 7:45 AM |
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KwaaksNest
Love my boys!
Member since 6/10 2825 total posts
Name:
Samantha
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Do your parents and/or ILs
My kids have toys at both sets of grandparents house, i would be more annoyed how this situation was presented. She didn't have to show your kid the new toy and then proceed to them they cant play with it unless they are at there house, that would annoy me. To me that's almost teasing the kid and i would of said something about it
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| Posted 10/22/13 8:34 AM |
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