Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

Are you picking someone who is not horrible, but there are better candidates?

DH feels an obligation to a family member....any thoughts?

TIA

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

I don't think they should be an obligation, it should be someone you love and trust

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

Nope, we're picking family we love and know will be honored to be our baby's godparents. You should pick who you & DH really want. Who cares what people think?

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

thanks. This person will flip if he is not picked. I think my DH feels like it is not worth the drama. I also think DH feels like godparenting isn't a big deal...that regardless, we will leave the kids with whoever we want, that this isn't a contract.

I just feel that some of my siblings have great godparents and the rest have kind of deadbeats.

The person he wants isn't catholic, so i am thinking of pulling that card.

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

Posted by Janice

thanks. This person will flip if he is not picked. I think my DH feels like it is not worth the drama. I also think DH feels like godparenting isn't a big deal...that regardless, we will leave the kids with whoever we want, that this isn't a contract.

I just feel that some of my siblings have great godparents and the rest have kind of deadbeats.

The person he wants isn't catholic, so i am thinking of pulling that card.

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

Nope. DH has a twin brother and we're not naming him the godfather.

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

No. We didn't and we will not again. I chose who was the best for Molly.

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

I have to ask DH's sister since she is his only sibling. She is such a phoney, I'd rather not though.

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

We are! We didn't choose DH's sister with my son. When we told her who we selected she was crying hysterically (at the time she was 41). So to calm her we said that next time she will be the godmother. So recently she made numerous comments about her "godchild". We haven't officially asked her yet but I feel that we don't have a choice but at the same rate she is wonderful to my son and to us. There are other ladies that I would love to ask as well.

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

Oh my god, I would never pick out of obligation, I think it is such an honor to be asked, but i also think that it is also a "deserved" honor. We pick who we are closest to and who we thought would go the "extra mile" to have a special relationship with our children.
My hubby has 1 rother and we didn't pick him because he did not complete all his scraments and the church would not allow it, but he would of definitly been chosen.
I am godmother to my sIL's daughter and although I did not "expect" to be asked, it was a great honor to be asked.

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

Our choices are the most "obvious" choices, but at the same time, they will both be excellent godparents and we love them both.

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

i just want to add, i was not choosen as my sis and bils godparent. my bil only has one sibling, a sister, so she was the "obligation" gp, and so was my brother.

my sis told me i'll be the godmother of the next one, but in all honesty, its no consolation. it hurts my feelings to be selfish about it.

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

I feel a little like that. We would be picking people who havent asked a damn question about the baby or how it is doing...no concern whatsoever just obligation!

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

we are not going with the obligation crap,sorry to say that. We know DH's sister is going to go bulistic on us but we dont care we want who we feel is best for our child, my brother and my stepsister. As far as god forbid something happens to us, the church vs state will kick in and we are going to do a will that the children go to the grandparents and in the event they cant take care of the children we will designate someone else in the family either my brother or DH's cousin. His sister will NEVER be next of kin b/c she is a money hungry beotch and we dont agree with the way she raises her children either- for godsake their bathe/shower is jumping in the pool!!!!!! All of our assests are to be sold and put in a trust fund for the kids.

So really who you choose to be godparents and we are catholic isnt set in stone if something was to happen to us. Good luck with your choice and dont let the drama from what someone will cause sway your decision remember it is YOUR child!

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

Message edited 7/19/2006 10:47:39 AM.

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

DH and I picked our best friends as Godmother and Godfather and asked them both WAY too early and we've regretted it ever since. It's not exactly something you can take back once you've asked. So, instead of ruining our friendships, we added a second set of Godparents for Christopher. Good thing too, because DH's friend didn't even come to Christopher's Christening. This time around, we asked people we know we can trust and depend on for our daughter.

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

thanks for your replies. I am glad that some of you who replied are in the same boat of the person being a sibling.

I understand what many of you are saying, I am not sure what is going to happen. I have a controlling, overbearing personality...and poor DH kind of goes with my flow. So I feel like I should let DH have this one, but he def has obligation in mind over who is right for the job.

Needless to say, godparents won't be announced till after the baby. Kristen, you hit home with that. I am not going to put anything out there that I will later regret.

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

I think all of DH's family "expected" DH's sister to be chosen as the godmother for our first, but since she is crazy I said absolutely not to her being godmother to any of our children. DH's reason for wanted her was "becuase she is my sister." and I gave him 100 reasons why that is not a reason to choose her. It is not about not making waves in your family, it is about chosing people who you trust and feel would be the best non-parental role models.

I'm sure she is expecting it for this baby, but no way, no how. DH also thinks that family should be priority, but I think that if there is no family member that fits the bill, then I refuse to choose family just for the sake of chosing family. Plus he thinks that since we had a male from my family and a female from his family last time we should switch it. But again, no one fits the role by that formula.

This is one place where I refuse to give in. It just drives me nuts how people "expect" to be godparents. Some nerve.

Message edited 7/19/2006 11:20:45 AM.

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

we just went through this samething DH family all feels his brother should be chosen but his brother has no respect for me and we made his brothers fiance the godmother for my first son and that was a huge mistake. She thinks being the godmother is more important then me being his mother she actuatly grabbed my son out of my hands one day. so I pleaded my case with dh and made him see my way so he changed his mind thank god.

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

no way. we are choosing different people for godparents & for our child's legal guardians. DH (not even Catholic) feels strongly about who he wants for godfather, so i am going along with it, although i would sort of prefer someone else.

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

No we didn't/aren't picking an "obligation Godparent". We both knew we wanted it to be family though. So my daughter's Godparents are my brother and SIL. For the next baby due in October the Godparents will be my SIL (DH’s sister) and my youngest brother – he hasn’t completed all his sacraments yet, but he has gotten in touch with his church/parish and is signing up for the classes that start this fall, the priest at my church said that as long as he is signed up and attending the classes they will allow him to be Godfather (we won't have to wait the 6+months for him to complete it) – the Godmother is Greek Orthodox.

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

we are godparents to my sil (dh's sister)'s kids, which is great. But my sil is a little bit more fanatical about religeon than we are since she moved to the midwest. She is kind of crazy on her own views about things, and we don't always agree with her on them.

Religeon isn't a huge deal to us, but we would mind how she would be disrespectful towards us, should we have different ideas on things than her, in acting towards our kids.

Plus she's a bit of a loon.

So we may use her, to keep the peace, but that may just be also because we couldn't figure out someone else by the time we get to doing the christening :)

But my godparents were my uncle and my mom's best friend. So I try to keep this in mind, that it can be anyone you feel close to.

Re: Are you picking an "obligation godparent?"

My brother will be the godfather.. no question about that whatsoever.. not an obligation.. totally because DH and I could not imagine anyone but him... the godmother is a lil more tricky.. he has 2 sisters and SIL(bro's wife) is a sweetie.. so we'll just wait and see.. we haven't decided yet...