anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out? update at bottom

Dd is 18 months and ds is 8 weeks. Our friends invited us out for dinner tomorrow night. Part of me wants to go and they said we can bring the kids, but it is a really crowded restaurant. I know if we go I will have my parents watch ds because it is too crowded, but dd loves hibachi so ill probably bring her. The second I heard about it I automatically thought of reasons we can't go. Not because I don't want to go, but I feel bad leaving ds. Anyone else or do I have issues?

Message edited 3/8/2013 11:39:50 AM.

Re: anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out?

I don't feel bad leaving my twins but they go to bed early so they are usually sleeping anyway.

At 8 weeks I didn't feel bad leaving them either (once in a while) I just felt bad asking my parents to watch them.

anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out?

I'm the same way. I immediately think about why I can't go. DD is 10 months and I was a little better when she was younger and stayed up later. DH and I would go out for an early dinner and I would be home in time for her last feeding and to put her to bed. Now she's ready for bed at 7 so that's not as easy.

I went out last friday for the first time in a looong time and probably the first time I was gone at bedtime. DH was home but DD was a wreck without me there. She wouldn't take a bottle at bedtime since she's used to nursing and refused to lay down at all until I got home.

I realize I probably made her this way bc I have always been so hesitant to leave her or to have her get a bottle. I'm hoping once she weens it will get easier for both of us. DH tells me I have separation anxiety which is hard to deny at this point!

anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out?

DD is 8 weeks also and DH and I were thinking about going out to dinner tomorrow night to finally get some alone time. MIL would watch her, but I'm kinda of sad to leave her also. I think part of it is bc my maternity leave is ending soon.
I'm sure as they get older it'll get easier to leave them, at least I hope so!

Message edited 3/7/2013 8:25:04 PM.

Re: anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out?

Yes. I don't like to leave her. ever. and when I do I usually regret it and just think about her the whole time...

Re: anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out?

I don't feel too bad bc I've gone out (like for a girls night) maybe twice since ds was born. Plus it's the only way Dh will put ds to sleep. I don't mind the break...

anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out?

Thanks guys. It's nice to know I'm not alone. I think I feel guilty asking my parents to watch either of them even though i know they love to.. My dad just had open heart surgery in january and is still recovering and my mom is having surgery on monday.

Re: anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out?

DD is 4-months-old and we've been out quite a few times already. She's basically all we talk about while we're out and we miss her like crazy for the few hours we're gone but it still feels really good to get out.

She's usually with my mom or my sister, so I know she's in good hands. I think the bonding time is good for them, plus I definitely don't want to create a situation where DD freaks out whenever she's not with me.

Message edited 3/7/2013 9:10:24 PM.

Re: anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out?

Yep. DD is 20 months and I very rarely leave her if she's awake. I work FT so I feel like every moment I'm not working should be spent with her. Working mom guilt. If DH and I go out, it is almost always after DD goes to bed. I even wait until DD goes down for a nap to go get my nails done. Some others think I'm a little crazy, but I'm ok with it.

Re: anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out?

Re: anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out?

Re: anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out?

When DS#2 was born and still a newborn, we would often leave him with my mom and go out with DS#1 alone. I thought it was easier when he was very little. I would be ok going out to dinner without him, esp if he was sleeping. We went to Sesame Pl with DS#1 only.

Now that DS#2 is almost 2yo, we rarely go anywhere without them. It is impossible to even go out with one child and leave the other child with the other parent. This has become increasingly more difficult with birthday parties where only one child is invited.

Message edited 3/8/2013 11:17:08 AM.

anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out?

I do feel bad. For me the older DS gets the worse it gets which is odd I think. At 16m he knows we are not there. I dont mind leaving him with DH as much bc I know he is as happy with his daddy as his mommy but anyone else I feel guilty and I just miss him so much. But I do leave him here and there bc I feel I need to not be crazy lol

anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out?

you are not alone! DS is 17 months and I can count on one hand the amount of times I have been out with friends, let alone on a "date" with DH. DS isn't the easiest to put to bed, which is one reason, but I just hate leaving him. As much as I would like to go out, I would rather stay home more!

Message edited 3/8/2013 11:30:33 AM.

anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out?

Well after speaking to my mom, dh and i are going out to dinner and leaving both kids with my parents. My mom told me to stop being a stubborn ass and to go out and have a nice dinner. It's actually better. The last time we went out just us was to dinner on thanksgiving eve so it's a bit overdue. Plus I felt bad bringing dd....it's our friend's bday and nobody else is bringing their kids.

anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out? update at bottom

Granted I do miss her, especially since I'm a FTWM, but I do need my alone time too. Everyone does for their own sanity, so while I always feel bad leaving her, I'm also happy to get that time to myself. I consider my gym workouts as "me time" and I've come to really appreciate it. We also make it a point to get at least one date night a month and a night with just the girls. It works out great for us.

Dropping her off at daycare is still hard, especially on Mondays but I like the balance working gives me. It really makes me appreciate the time I get with dd so much more.

Mostly weekends are family time (Besides the occasional date night and girls nights), and I really love the time I get to spend with dd and dh.

But enjoy your night out. You deserve it!! It's nice once in a while to get alone time!!!

Message edited 3/8/2013 12:26:49 PM.

Re: anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out? update at bottom

Re: anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out? update at bottom

Re: anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out? update at bottom

Re: anyone else have trouble leaving their kid (s) to go out? update at bottom

I have never felt bad about leaving them to go to dinner, or out with friends or even on vacation (not that the vacation thing is done often)

They are my children, I LOVE them - they are the biggest, most important part of my life - but they are not the ONLY part of my life.

I think it's important for us to do things as a family, I think it's important for DH to spend some special time alone w/ the boys, I thnk it's important for ME to spend special time alone w/ them (with them together, and separately as well) I ALSO think it's important for DH and I to spend time together (and apart) without our kids -

It's also good for them (IMO) to spend that away from us - time with my parents, or their Aunts/Uncles etc. Even the ocassional babysitter -

But everyone is different. I am a very social person, I grew up in a house that should have probably had a revolving door - My kids are also very social (I don't know if it's b/c we've forced them to be, or it's just who they are)

You have to do what you are comfortable with, but I don't see any reason to feel guilty about going to dinner with youir husband and leaving both of your kids home w/ Grandma for a few hours !!