Not telling Co-Workers that I'm TTC

this is really hard for me. i keep coming in late because of RE appointments. a couple of them asked me is everything ok and i just keep saying it's personally. gossip spreads so easy in my office and i really don't want everyone to know. but i feel like i'm being more distance with them and i think they are taking it the wrong way. i really wish i could tell them and get this weight lifted off of me but i really don't want everyone in my business. grrr.. this is so hard.

any advise?

Re: Not telling Co-Workers that I'm TTC

It is a hard decision. If you want to keep it to yourself, then do so.

But sometimes letting people know your struggle can be positive. They will be fine with your lateness and understand your emotional days.

I personally I'm quite open about what's going on with the people I work with but it's different. I only work a couple nights a week and it's a small group of us in our dept. (mostly women) and one of them has gone through this so I find it helpful.

GL

Re: Not telling Co-Workers that I'm TTC

Thank you Phyllis. That's a good point. I am emotional some days and my personally is to just keep to myself. that's why i love this website. i can easliy vent and listen to people in my situtation. But maybe telling might make them understand a little of what i'm going through. i just know as soon as i tell one of them, EVERYONE will know.

Re: Not telling Co-Workers that I'm TTC

Does it bother you that everyone will know? Are they the type to Judge you like "the mean girls"?

It really is a heard decision. But you may find them to be supportive like the women on here. I would tell my immediate co-workers and my immediate supervisor. Being secretive can be even more stressful!

Re: Not telling Co-Workers that I'm TTC

Re: Not telling Co-Workers that I'm TTC

I didn't tell anyone at work about TTC. When I had to miss work for a test, I either took a half day or told my manager I had a medical thing I was dealing with. They can't ask you more than that.

Now that I'm PG I'm stressed out too b/c I don't want to come out until the end of my first trimester in August. We have events with drinking all the time and people are probably getting suspicious that I never drink, but oh well. They'll know soon enough. The only uncomfortable part is there are 2 other pg women in my dept and they keep drinking at these events.

Re: Not telling Co-Workers that I'm TTC

i think i'm overthinking things. i know they'll be supportive. i guess it is just hard for me to accept that i'm having trouble TTC and the more people I tell the more real it is. does that make sense? i don't want people to feel sorry for me or look at me any different.

Re: Not telling Co-Workers that I'm TTC

I struggled with this too but I had very little choice because I am a teacher and I had to get coverage. I told one co-worker (the one that covered me) and I told anyone else who needed to know something that I am working closely with a doctor for medical reasons and I will need some time off. They didn't ask for clarification so I didn't give it to them. I'm sure some people think I am sick, but I didn't tell them that so I didn't lie, I get to stay semi-private, and I get their support. They'll put it together when I get my BFP. It worked for me. My students have asked about my arms (if I forgot to take the bandaids off) I tell them I am being tested for allergies.

Re: Not telling Co-Workers that I'm TTC

I was a teacher and did tell my principal what was going on when I started going to RE appts. I was going a lot, and he was concerned there was something wrong. The word didn't get around too much until I got pregnant and then had a late loss... and everyone, including my students knew I was expecting and had the loss. After that, people knew that I was going through infertility treatments. It's a personal decision, but know that if you DO go public with your issues, people are going to offer unsolicited (and sometimes uncomfortable) advice. They may approach you in the hall during a prep and ask if you get your period naturally and have a normal flow (Yes.. this happened..) .. So.. do what you are comfortable with, but be ready. People think when they know your business that they are entitled to pry and magically have NO filter.

Re: Not telling Co-Workers that I'm TTC

I have been having the same problem - everyone must think I am dying - but oh well. I used my first two sick days for my ET after working there for 4 years.

Re: Not telling Co-Workers that I'm TTC

I know the feeling. When I started my RE appointments, I told my manager (we're also very close) that I have a bunch of appointments and will be late a few mornings. I then also told another person at work that I knew would not say anything to others and having that support was amazing.