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AllyMally
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/13 881 total posts
Name:
Alyson
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WWYD re:family wedding
DH is in the wedding so he should go. You knew DS wasn't invited to the wedding so it should be a given he wasn't going to be invited to the rd. MIL is being selfish. Unless she is going to watch him Friday night I say leave your son at home with you parents and enjoy the night. I don't get why your MIL would want to "show him off" at a wedding he wasn't invited too? That makes no sense to me. This is their weekend and not about your son. My snark is at MIL not you lol.
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Posted 4/8/13 12:09 PM  |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Since your DH is put off by all of this and it's his family, I would support whatever he wanted to do.
I get that brides can decide who they want where, but how inconvenienced can you expect your OOT guests to be before you are considered a brat?
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| Posted 4/8/13 12:16 PM |
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JSDB
<3
Member since 1/13 1329 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
could DS sleep at your parents house Fri and then your parents drive up with him Sat? Then you could both go to the RD?
Or, you could stay back at hotel with DS. I would say you both should skip it, but if DH is in the wedding party he should be there.
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| Posted 4/8/13 12:22 PM |
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RSquared0907
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/12 712 total posts
Name:
RJ
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WWYD re:family wedding
We are in a similar boat - DH is in his cousin's wedding in LA next month (my DH is from Cali). DD will be 5 months and hasn't met anyone in DH's family, except his folks, so the entire family was excited to meet her. We purchased our plane tickets, booked the hotel and then come to find out DD is not invited to the wedding! While I fully understand not wanting kids at a wedding (we didn't have them at ours), DH's cousin never once mentioned that DD wouldn't be invited. So now I get to fly to LA and sit in a hotel room with DD. Would've been nice to know before we booked our travel that DD wouldn't be invited...the kicker is, they're allowing other kids, they just don't want lots of kids there.
All this being said, I'd skip the RD. My inlaws are still trying to convince me to crash the wedding with DD (as are the rest of the members of DH's family). Despite being rather pissed off that I'm flying across the country with a 5 mo old to sit in a hotel room, I'm not about to bring her to an event which she isn't welcome to attend.
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| Posted 4/8/13 12:38 PM |
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wo0shply
LIF Adult
Member since 11/08 2702 total posts
Name:
Tass
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WWYD re:family wedding
I would skip. Unless you're super close and want to be at the rehearsal dinner.Then I would speak with the bride and groom and see if its okay.
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| Posted 4/8/13 12:46 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by blu6385
is the only reason your bringing DS to the wedding is just so MIL can show him off? If thats the case and you would have someone to watch him the night before if he stood home then i wouldnt even bring him. Why inconvience youself just so your MIL can show him off or i would let MIL she will have to stay behind and not got the dinner.
My above reponse maybe a little biased cause i cant stand my MIL  but honestly it sounds like its much more of hassle to bring DS then just to leave him with you parents.
or i would just send DH alone.
I completely agree with this. If he's not invited to the wedding, I'd leave him home with your parents. The couple shouldn't have to make accommodations if there is really no reason for him to be there at all.
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| Posted 4/8/13 12:53 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
If your DH is in the wedding party I think he should suck it up and deal., while you stay with the baby I understand it's a PITA for you being out of town, but I also understand that people don't always want small children at events - it's their choice.
If neither of you are in the wedding party, I don't see why you'd have to go to the dinner at all - so skip it !
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| Posted 4/8/13 1:44 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by Katareen
Posted by blu6385
is the only reason your bringing DS to the wedding is just so MIL can show him off? If thats the case and you would have someone to watch him the night before if he stood home then i wouldnt even bring him. Why inconvience youself just so your MIL can show him off or i would let MIL she will have to stay behind and not got the dinner.
My above reponse maybe a little biased cause i cant stand my MIL but honestly it sounds like its much more of hassle to bring DS then just to leave him with you parents.
or i would just send DH alone.
I completely agree with this. If he's not invited to the wedding, I'd leave him home with your parents. The couple shouldn't have to make accommodations if there is really no reason for him to be there at all.
Hmmm - these are good points too.
Why not save your parents the tirp, and yourself the extra $$ on a hotel
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| Posted 4/8/13 1:45 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by nycgirl
Brides have no clue... Don't forget, they are at the peak of being self centered!
Just say no one can watch the kid. Don't go. End of story.
This. ITA!!
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| Posted 4/8/13 1:49 PM |
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babymakes3
Almost there!
Member since 7/06 7376 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by Katareen
Posted by blu6385
is the only reason your bringing DS to the wedding is just so MIL can show him off? If thats the case and you would have someone to watch him the night before if he stood home then i wouldnt even bring him. Why inconvience youself just so your MIL can show him off or i would let MIL she will have to stay behind and not got the dinner.
My above reponse maybe a little biased cause i cant stand my MIL but honestly it sounds like its much more of hassle to bring DS then just to leave him with you parents.
or i would just send DH alone.
I completely agree with this. If he's not invited to the wedding, I'd leave him home with your parents. The couple shouldn't have to make accommodations if there is really no reason for him to be there at all.
I agree too. MIL is going to whip out her grandchild on the bride's big day? That's not going to go over well.
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| Posted 4/8/13 1:51 PM |
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WWYD re:family wedding
Normally I agree that kids don't have to be invited but being that your coming from out of town to attend the wedding, I think the right thing to do for out of town guests is to accommodate the kids if possible. But that just my opinion and what I would do for my guests.
As far as the RD... It's just an RD.
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| Posted 4/8/13 2:49 PM |
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
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Message edited 1/11/2014 10:19:54 PM.
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| Posted 4/8/13 3:26 PM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by TuttsyLow
Why not just leave DC home with your parents? I would not at all bring him just to show him off, this is the couple's day. Totally inappropriate reason to inconvenience your parents IMO unless you were planning a family get together outside of the couple's plans. BTW that is really nice of your parents to agree to do that.
Totally agree. Given that they don't want him at the RD or wedding, MIL wanting to "show him off" probably isn't going to be a success. Exactly when did she plan on showing him off?!?!
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| Posted 4/8/13 3:50 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by Karen
Posted by TuttsyLow
Why not just leave DC home with your parents? I would not at all bring him just to show him off, this is the couple's day. Totally inappropriate reason to inconvenience your parents IMO unless you were planning a family get together outside of the couple's plans. BTW that is really nice of your parents to agree to do that.
Totally agree. Given that they don't want him at the RD or wedding, MIL wanting to "show him off" probably isn't going to be a success. Exactly when did she plan on showing him off?!?!
ITA. Enjoy a couple of nights away and mornings of getting up on your own! 
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| Posted 4/8/13 4:01 PM |
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dianadrw
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 2092 total posts
Name:
Me
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WWYD re:family wedding
Are there other events on Friday night besides the rehearsal that DS will attend so MIL can "show him off"? If not I'd just have him stay home with my parents and avoid all this.
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| Posted 4/8/13 4:13 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Thanks for the input girls. I feel bad dropping DS with my parents all weekend...maybe I can ask my brother and SIL if they could do a night and my parents do a night?
I will try to convince DH to go and I will stay with DS at the hotel (if he ends up coming). DH is in the wedding and I feel like it will look bad if he isn't there, I mean it is their wedding after all.
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| Posted 4/8/13 5:36 PM |
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jam11308
Member since 11/07 7273 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by DiamondGirl
I will try to convince DH to go and I will stay with DS at the hotel (if he ends up coming). DH is in the wedding and I feel like it will look bad if he isn't there, I mean it is their wedding after all.
I think this is the best option if he agrees to it; although, I don't think he'll necessarily look bad if he doesn't make it since it isn't local to you. Two members of my bridal party couldn't make my RD & I understood 
ETA: I also don't think it's so bad for your MIL to want to show him off. I don't get how it's wrong or selfish  We often only see certain family members at weddings (and funerals) and if everyone is staying at the same hotel it's a good chance for them to meet a grandkid that she loves & adores. So long as it's not at wedding-related events (which you never indicated it would be), it's fine! The bride & groom don't own the guests time that weekend lol
Message edited 4/8/2013 5:57:23 PM.
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| Posted 4/8/13 5:50 PM |
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sunnygirl
loving life
Member since 1/07 5413 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
I would leave my child home altogether as others have said if the bride doesn't want him at the rehearsal dinner when does mil plan on showing him off anyway
Try to make it to the renearsal since dh is in the bridal party but if you can't then don't stress it
And my personal opinion is the bride is not completely wrong and I have kids your ds is not invited to the wedding why would he be invited to a rehearsal dinner. Maybe it's at a fancy restaurant who knows
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| Posted 4/8/13 6:06 PM |
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BeachGal
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 2827 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
I would think they were really annoying! I don't think kids should attend weddings but a rehearsal dinner is a very unimportant life event. Who cares if a baby is there? I am a really laid back person who doesn't fuss over these silly events so I would be annoyed and not want to go .
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| Posted 4/8/13 6:08 PM |
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Serendipity
Summer!
Member since 4/07 7631 total posts
Name:
PrayingWishingHopingALOT
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by LiveItUp
If you are ok with just leaving your DS with your parents at their house, that's probably what I would do. Why should your parents have to travel and stay in a hotel just so your MIL can 'show him off' when he's not even being welcomed at either event? Or if you don't want to be away from DS for two nights, can you skip the rehearsal dinner? It sounds like this bride is not being realistic to your parental responsibilities. If she absolutely refuses to let you bring your child to either event then you and your DH shouldn't feel bad if you have to miss it. And your patents shouldn't have to go to such lengths to help out unless they actually want to do that. It seems like a lot of trouble to go to to babysit IMO.
THIS word for word. Truthfully your MIL is be a little inconsiderate TBH. I don't get why you would do what she suggests especially since your ds isn't even invited to either. You are being too good about this.
I'd leave DC home with my parents. I would never even entertain the thought of bringing dc to an event they are not even invited to do MIL can show off. Sorry.
Also I would hate to leave DC for 2 nights so we would skip RD.
ETA: I can understand the bride not wanting kids at the weddings. Even the RD Bc you know what happens you make an exception for one then you need to make an exception for all and maybe they just don't want kids there which isn't completely out of line.
You need to explain this to MIL. (maybe she doesn't realize)
Message edited 4/8/2013 6:45:54 PM.
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| Posted 4/8/13 6:38 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by Michi
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
Posted by nycgirl
Brides have no clue... Don't forget, they are at the peak of being self centered!
Just say no one can watch the kid. Don't go. End of story.
This
Sorry, I totally disagree. Maybe the bride doesn't want a possible crying baby interrupting something that is about the couple, not about a child.
At a REHEARSAL dinner? I think that's lame. Who is worried about something like a child possibly crying at the rehearsal dinner? Imo it's bitchy!
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| Posted 4/8/13 6:54 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Id stay home, dh can go himself......
and whats the big deal about a rehersal dinner
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| Posted 4/8/13 6:56 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Personally, I would leave DS home for the weekend. But if you are truly opposed to that, then I would follow DH lead. If he doesn't want to go if you can't attend as a family, then so be it. Saratoga is a nice area and it will give you, DH and DS a chance to explore and have dinner alone.
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| Posted 4/8/13 7:00 PM |
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StarsStripes
LIF Adult
Member since 12/12 1192 total posts
Name:
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WWYD re:family wedding
Ok I am sorry but I am with the bride on this one. The miscommunication is on your MIL. I did not have kids at my RD or Wedding...that is very normal! Your DH should absolutely go to the RD since he is in the wedding. If he doesn't go that is very rude especially when, again, it is his mom's own fault and selfishness that created this situation in the first place.
I agree with others, either you stay at the hotel the night of the RD with ds or just keep him with your parents...good luck!
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| Posted 4/8/13 8:50 PM |
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LotsaLuv
Us
Member since 6/10 4094 total posts
Name:
F
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
I would tell MIL that this is becoming too much of a hassle, and you are not bringing DS at all. Your parents will watch him at their house or yours, and you and DH go enjoy yourselves.
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| Posted 4/8/13 9:45 PM |
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