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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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WWYD re:family wedding
DH is in his cousin's wedding. DS (18m) is not invited (fine with this, no issue). MIL asked if my parents could come upstate and stay in hotel to watch DS the night of the wedding bc she would like DS there for the night before so she can show him off to the family.
So my parents are coming up saturday morning and will watch DS while we are at wedding.
We were planning on taking DS to the rehearsal dinner friday night.
MIL just got a call from her sister (mother of groom) informing her DS is not welcome at the rehearsal dinner.
My parents cannot come upstate until saturday bc of work obligations.
DH is saying if my son can't go then we can't go and thinks we should not go to the rehearsal dinner at all.
Other option is DH going and I will stay in hotel with son (or MIL or FIL, but I would do it bc it is my son after all lol)
WWYD? DH is very put off, we TOTALLY get not being invited to the wedding but a rehearsal dinner when we are out of towners with no one to watch the baby?
Message edited 4/8/2013 10:13:58 AM.
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Posted 4/8/13 10:12 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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dlj97
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 4399 total posts
Name:
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WWYD re:family wedding
That is beyond ridiculous to me. I would probably just not go.
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| Posted 4/8/13 10:14 AM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Brides have no clue... Don't forget, they are at the peak of being self centered!
Just say no one can watch the kid. Don't go. End of story.
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| Posted 4/8/13 10:17 AM |
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BookMom
LIF Toddler
Member since 1/11 420 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
I can understand not having the baby at the rehearsal. Maybe it's a t a really fancy restaurant and late at night and people without kids arent thinking about the logistics of babysitters ect. I would skip the rehearsal altogether if your ds is ok with that and just go up sat morning or leave your ds with your parents for the weekend.
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| Posted 4/8/13 10:18 AM |
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by nycgirl
Brides have no clue... Don't forget, they are at the peak of being self centered!
Just say no one can watch the kid. Don't go. End of story.
This
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| Posted 4/8/13 10:19 AM |
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Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
Posted by nycgirl
Brides have no clue... Don't forget, they are at the peak of being self centered!
Just say no one can watch the kid. Don't go. End of story.
This
Sorry, I totally disagree. Maybe the bride doesn't want a possible crying baby interrupting something that is about the couple, not about a child.
Message edited 4/8/2013 10:36:54 AM.
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| Posted 4/8/13 10:36 AM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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WWYD re:family wedding
Why would ds go to the RD if he isn't involved in the wedding? I would just send dh alone.
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| Posted 4/8/13 10:40 AM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by Michi
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
Posted by nycgirl
Brides have no clue... Don't forget, they are at the peak of being self centered!
Just say no one can watch the kid. Don't go. End of story.
This
Sorry, I totally disagree. Maybe the bride doesn't want a possible crying baby interrupting something that is about the couple, not about a child.
While it sucks, I am with Michi on this one. It is their event and they can make it adult only if that is the type of dinner they want to have.
With that said, I can see how its annoying for you. I would bring DS but just have your DH go and hang back with your DC.
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| Posted 4/8/13 10:42 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by Michi
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
Posted by nycgirl
Brides have no clue... Don't forget, they are at the peak of being self centered!
Just say no one can watch the kid. Don't go. End of story.
This
Sorry, I totally disagree. Maybe the bride doesn't want a possible crying baby interrupting something that is about the couple, not about a child.
While it sucks, I am with Michi on this one. It is their event and they can make it adult only if that is the type of dinner they want to have.
With that said, I can see how its annoying for you. I would bring DS but just have your DH go and hang back with your DC.
I offered this, just spoke with DH and he feels like if his kid can't be there then he doesn't want to go. His cousin/family, his choice.
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| Posted 4/8/13 10:50 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
is the only reason your bringing DS to the wedding is just so MIL can show him off? If thats the case and you would have someone to watch him the night before if he stood home then i wouldnt even bring him. Why inconvience youself just so your MIL can show him off or i would let MIL she will have to stay behind and not got the dinner.
My above reponse maybe a little biased cause i cant stand my MIL  but honestly it sounds like its much more of hassle to bring DS then just to leave him with you parents.
or i would just send DH alone.
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| Posted 4/8/13 10:51 AM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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WWYD re:family wedding
If you are ok with just leaving your DS with your parents at their house, that's probably what I would do. Why should your parents have to travel and stay in a hotel just so your MIL can 'show him off' when he's not even being welcomed at either event? Or if you don't want to be away from DS for two nights, can you skip the rehearsal dinner? It sounds like this bride is not being realistic to your parental responsibilities. If she absolutely refuses to let you bring your child to either event then you and your DH shouldn't feel bad if you have to miss it. And your patents shouldn't have to go to such lengths to help out unless they actually want to do that. It seems like a lot of trouble to go to to babysit IMO.
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| Posted 4/8/13 10:52 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Well my parents don;t mind coming up bc it is in Saratoga and my dad would like to get away but they cant come friday night bc my dad works friday and they dont want to drive at night.
I could leave DS with my parents or even SIL and brother for the weekend but I have only ever left him overnight never a weekend and we really don't want to.
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| Posted 4/8/13 10:56 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by Michi
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
Posted by nycgirl
Brides have no clue... Don't forget, they are at the peak of being self centered!
Just say no one can watch the kid. Don't go. End of story.
This
Sorry, I totally disagree. Maybe the bride doesn't want a possible crying baby interrupting something that is about the couple, not about a child.
While it sucks, I am with Michi on this one. It is their event and they can make it adult only if that is the type of dinner they want to have.
With that said, I can see how its annoying for you. I would bring DS but just have your DH go and hang back with your DC.
i have to agree with this too. just because you have children know it doesnt mean they have to be included in everything.
I have no problem leaving DC behind for events esp. events that are geared really for adults.
I get people have the mentality that thier kids should be invited everywhere they are invited but i just personally never got that.
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| Posted 4/8/13 10:58 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by blu6385
I get people have the mentality that thier kids should be invited everywhere they are invited but i just personally never got that.
I really don't have this mentality, I totally get that a toddler wouldn't be invited to the wedding but IMO the rehearsal dinner it's not a big deal, also I guess bc MIL said to bring him we (wrongly lol) assumed he was included. I am just trying to get a sense of what others would do, since I posted I have spoken to DH and he wants to skip it (as I posted above) and honestly IMO it is his call, if he wanted to leave DS home I would go with that also bc it is his family and IMO should be up to him.
Message edited 4/8/2013 11:02:04 AM.
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| Posted 4/8/13 11:01 AM |
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nraboni
Uggh...
Member since 10/09 6905 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by DiamondGirl
Well my parents don;t mind coming up bc it is in Saratoga and my dad would like to get away but they cant come friday night bc my dad works friday and they dont want to drive at night.
I could leave DS with my parents or even SIL and brother for the weekend but I have only ever left him overnight never a weekend and we really don't want to.
Is there any way that your parents could bring DS with them on Saturday. This way you both can go to the rehearsal dinner and your MIL can show him off on Saturday.
If that's not an option, I would let DH make the call about the dinner since it is his family. But I would stress to him that I don't mind hanging in the hotel room and ordering in with DS while he is at the dinner.
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| Posted 4/8/13 11:04 AM |
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MRsFaTThead
NY GIRL IN TEXAS
Member since 6/10 5483 total posts
Name:
WHO GIVES A POO WHO GIVES A FUDGE !!
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
this bride and mil are being a bunch of tools!!!!
its a freakin rd not a wedding!!!
if your dh is put off tell him not to go and enjoy the wedding
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| Posted 4/8/13 11:05 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Can't you stay in the room while DH goes to the rehearsal dinner?
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| Posted 4/8/13 11:30 AM |
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dlj97
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 4399 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by blu6385
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by Michi
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
Posted by nycgirl
Brides have no clue... Don't forget, they are at the peak of being self centered!
Just say no one can watch the kid. Don't go. End of story.
This
Sorry, I totally disagree. Maybe the bride doesn't want a possible crying baby interrupting something that is about the couple, not about a child.
While it sucks, I am with Michi on this one. It is their event and they can make it adult only if that is the type of dinner they want to have.
With that said, I can see how its annoying for you. I would bring DS but just have your DH go and hang back with your DC.
i have to agree with this too. just because you have children know it doesnt mean they have to be included in everything.
I have no problem leaving DC behind for events esp. events that are geared really for adults.
I get people have the mentality that thier kids should be invited everywhere they are invited but i just personally never got that.
I don't think it is a matter of thinking your kids should be invited everywhere, but about what is practical. When you have a "destination" wedding what are people expected to do with their children? My brother is getting married in RI this summer and just understands that if the people who have young kids are going to come they are going to bring their kids. I would not leave my kids for a few days to attend anyone's wedding, including my own brother's! For a local event, no problem, but OOT or OOS no way.
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| Posted 4/8/13 11:34 AM |
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MissShelly
LIF Zygote
Member since 4/13 32 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
I can see where you husband is coming from. I think I would be pretty offended. It's one thing to ask the baby not to be present during the ceremony, but a rehearsal? It just seems inconsiderate. I would probably stay home.
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| Posted 4/8/13 11:36 AM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
I would just send DH by himself
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| Posted 4/8/13 11:38 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by dlj97
Posted by blu6385
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by Michi
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
Posted by nycgirl
Brides have no clue... Don't forget, they are at the peak of being self centered!
Just say no one can watch the kid. Don't go. End of story.
This
Sorry, I totally disagree. Maybe the bride doesn't want a possible crying baby interrupting something that is about the couple, not about a child.
While it sucks, I am with Michi on this one. It is their event and they can make it adult only if that is the type of dinner they want to have.
With that said, I can see how its annoying for you. I would bring DS but just have your DH go and hang back with your DC.
i have to agree with this too. just because you have children know it doesnt mean they have to be included in everything.
I have no problem leaving DC behind for events esp. events that are geared really for adults.
I get people have the mentality that thier kids should be invited everywhere they are invited but i just personally never got that.
I don't think it is a matter of thinking your kids should be invited everywhere, but about what is practical. When you have a "destination" wedding what are people expected to do with their children? My brother is getting married in RI this summer and just understands that if the people who have young kids are going to come they are going to bring their kids. I would not leave my kids for a few days to attend anyone's wedding, including my own brother's! For a local event, no problem, but OOT or OOS no way.
this is where we differ (and i know plenty people would agree with you) i would have no problem leaving my kids to go OOT or OOS i have done it. Me and DH went on vacation for a week to PR without DD.
I get that some cant do that but i can. If i had a destentaion wedding and i choose to have Adults only i would understand if people with kids couldnt come. Not saying i would make that policy but anyone who does should have that understanding.
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| Posted 4/8/13 11:40 AM |
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LI2VA
Love my life!!
Member since 11/05 3125 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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WWYD re:family wedding
I'm with your DH on this... I wouldnt go either
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| Posted 4/8/13 11:40 AM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by blu6385
is the only reason your bringing DS to the wedding is just so MIL can show him off? If thats the case and you would have someone to watch him the night before if he stood home then i wouldnt even bring him. Why inconvience youself just so your MIL can show him off or i would let MIL she will have to stay behind and not got the dinner.
My above reponse maybe a little biased cause i cant stand my MIL but honestly it sounds like its much more of hassle to bring DS then just to leave him with you parents.
or i would just send DH alone.
I agree.
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| Posted 4/8/13 11:41 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
Posted by DiamondGirl
Posted by blu6385
I get people have the mentality that thier kids should be invited everywhere they are invited but i just personally never got that.
I really don't have this mentality, I totally get that a toddler wouldn't be invited to the wedding but IMO the rehearsal dinner it's not a big deal, also I guess bc MIL said to bring him we (wrongly lol) assumed he was included. I am just trying to get a sense of what others would do, since I posted I have spoken to DH and he wants to skip it (as I posted above) and honestly IMO it is his call, if he wanted to leave DS home I would go with that also bc it is his family and IMO should be up to him.
this really wasnt geared to you just in general. i personally probably wouldnt care if you brought your DC but just a different side maybe the bride already told other people they couldnt bring thier DC to the dinner so by allowing you guys too it would cause more issues.
Either way like you said its your DH chocie and if thats what he wants to do i think its fine 
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| Posted 4/8/13 11:42 AM |
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phoenix913
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3034 total posts
Name:
V
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Re: WWYD re:family wedding
I would just skip the rehearsal dinner, especially if DH is not in the wedding party and is OK with it. You can have a nice family night out just the three of you.
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| Posted 4/8/13 11:49 AM |
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