WWYD

So we are moving onto our 6th cycle. I did not imagine it to take 6 cyles but i guess who does. Anyway my friend from highschool got engaged recently and her wedding is mid of Jan, she just asked the bridal party last week. I was asked to b a bridesmaid, of course i said yes.
Well now that i got AF this morn and we will not be having a 12/2011 baby, if we were to get BFP this cycle (which i REALLY REAALLY want) we would be due basically the same time as the wedding. I have not told any friends or family of our TTC. Of course i would never jump the gun and tell her now sorry cant be in it "might" have a baby . I am just adding pressure to myself thinking" do i stop trying this month not to distrube her wedding". It may sound crazy to you girls b/c it does to my DH. I feel horrible b/c honestly i do want to be a part of her wedding and support her that day. BUT ultimatly I WANT A FAMILY
I know this is all premature and i could not even have a baby until Feb or March or even next Dec, but i just know she will be upset if i back out. AND i feel like i would be pressured to tell her and other friends earlier then wanted to(3months) if i did get my BFP

Re: WWYD

I asked this question a month ago after my cousin asked me to be in her BP. Everyone responded to me by saying not to put my plans on hold for that and the more I thought about it I agreed. What's meant to be will be and I'm going to keep trying no matter what.

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I would make plans to be in the bridal party and go along as planned and if happens to work out that you do become pregnant I would imagine being your friend she would be happy for you and completely understand!!

Re: WWYD

Don't put anything on hold. You just don't know how quickly or long it could be. I would have said no to everything in my life for 2 years now if I worried about if ttc would conflict.

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DO NOT put your plans on hold. You try just as hard as you would any other cycle. She will understand if you are pregnant and cannot be in the BP. But honestly.. preggos can be in BP's... so hopefully it works out for everyone.

Seriously.. I'm saying this again.. do not put your plans on hold. I certainly wasn't willing to do that for any reason (other than perhaps a medical one).

Don't worry about telling who and when until you are at that point. Take it one moment at a time. It will all fall into place.

Re: WWYD

I say tell her you want to be in it and there's no need to mention a baby at this point. The truth is, you never know what will happen. Me and most other women on this site are proof of that. If it ends up being that you are due around the time of her wedding, then GREAT... but there's no need to let her in on your plans when you don't even know what the outcome will be yet.

Also, you could still be in her bridal party if you are pregnant. Obviously not 9 months pregnant..... I can't imagine that being very comfortable!

Good luck!! As odd as it sounds, I hope you are forced to miss her wedding!

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I wouldnt put your life on hold. You could be due the day of her wedding and go 6 weeks early, you could be due in March and go 8 weeks early... she could call of the wedding or change her date. you never know. Or, you could go into labor on her wedding day and not regret a thing.

We were in a similar boat with upcoming wedding I would be a bridesmaid for, and one expected upcoming wedding DH would be best man for. We decided not to put our lives on hold. I'm planning to be a bridesmaid at 36.5 weeks and am on the fence as to whether I will fly for the OOT wedding at 32.5 weeks but still no regrets. And my friend picked the most non-preggo-friendly dress ever: short, satin, pockets, sash at the waist, etc (I found a similar maternity-friendly version)

Message edited 4/11/2011 8:29:35 PM.

Re: WWYD

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To all you girls. I appreciate all your advice, experiences and most of all support. I am learning how to give up control and plans throughout this TTC process and it is hard for me to say the least.
Hope we can all vent & share togther on the pregnant, parenting & senior citizens boards..

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Keep doing what you're doing girl. Do not put your plans on hold if this is what you really want (even if its just a matter of waiting another month). Go as if you plan on being in the BP...if you get your BFP I'm sure she'll understand.

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I agree with everyone else. You have to do what is best for YOU. You don't know what the future will hold. If it winds up that you are due close to the wedding I am sure the bride will understand!

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If it were me I would still TTC and plan on being in the BP. If I got a BFP I would tell her (prob after 8wks- but tell her to keep it between us) and let her make the decision of my being in the BP or not. With her understanding possibilities of bedrest, delivering on that day or just days prior.

Re: WWYD