WWYD?

my TTc journey is bringing me to the 2yr mark. My friend just got married in Sept and while she talked about not being able to have kids she was blessed pretty rapidly. I just got the invite and even though I am happy for her and want to be there for her. I cant imagine going to the party. I cant tell you how it makes my insides hurt to sit there and hear and see little baby things.
She knows were trying but I dont want to get into it with her.

How do I tell her that I cant make it?

Re: WWYD?

that's such a hard question.
i'm not sure what i would do.
you can look at it two ways - if she's a really good friend then can you put aside your own personal hurt for a few hours and be there for her?
Or.. if you really can't deal with it, then just say that you're sorry but you already have other plans that day.
Or perhaps you can reply that you'll go, but then be 'sick' that day so you don't have to explain anything to her if you feel she won't accept you responding that you can't go.

Re: WWYD?

Hmmmm, I'm in the same exact boat as you and I know that stabbing pain you are feeling. I also have a babyshower to go to in May and even though I'm happy for her, I feel like I'm going to be so sad sitting at the shower.
Honestly, if you really think that by going to her shower is going to be really depressing for you, I wouldn't go if i were you. The only situation that may change my mind is if she's a really good friend or family.
I got lucky because I have to pick up someone at the airport the same day as my friend's shower so I'm just going to tell her that.
Bottom line, don't force yourself to do anything you don't want to. After all, when we are going through the fertility treatment, we want to make sure our body is as relax as can be!

Re: WWYD?

thanks. She is a friend not a best friend. I actually found out by Facebook from a post she put on her DH page. She didnt tell me she was prego personally but sent the invite to me anyway. At this point I really dont feel that I would be able to keep it together. I am a mess and dont thinkg it would be healthy for me to put myself in that position. So I thank god DH tells me he made plans for us that weekend. Technically I found out about hers after he committed us. I hope this gets easier cause it seems everyone I know is having babies but me.

thanks for the input ladies

Re: WWYD?

Posted by FergieK

I hope this gets easier cause it seems everyone I know is having babies but me.

Re: WWYD?

3 years ago my good friend and I started our IF journey together. Then she got lucky on an off cycle (canceled b/c of a cyst). I didn't back down from her baby shower, I went (mostly because I was out to prove to myself that it didn't bother me). And on the way up I was thinking (cause she actually lives in Westchester)...*** am I doing? I don't really know her friends, we were close work friends. When I got there, I was feeling really really uncomfortable. And then....ha...realized most of her friends are still single that I was sitting with. No one (I'm sorry to say) even bothered to pay attention to what she was opening and we had a really great time in the back. And now I'm glad that I went. She was shocked that I went to be honest. She even gave me the out when I was invited (cause she got that it would be hard for me). I keep thinking down the road something is gonna work out and I would be sorry later if didn't go.

But, you have to do what you feel good about (I'm probably just insane or something). And if it really is too much for you then don't go. But, if its a really good friend who you know is going to be in your life for a long time....just think about it.

Re: WWYD?

Posted by Mountaineer

Posted by FergieK

I hope this gets easier cause it seems everyone I know is having babies but me.

I feel the same way....

I think it's OK for you to RSVP that you already have other plans, especially since it's not a "best" friend.

Re: WWYD?

I realized last night when out with friends that even my SIL telling the table of friends that she was having DC#2 I felt like my face told the story. Call it my fear of being asked mixed with my personal frustration and let down just is shown all over my face.