Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

DH and I went away overnight to AC on Thursday. DS stayed at my parents apartment in the city.

So, driving down, I was checking FB on my phone and said to DH "Oh Caroline [my sister] took Christopher to Central Park" and my DH gets mad because she didn't ask and didn't have a stroller for him and it is about a mile away and he thinks she is a space cadet.

He knows, as well as I, that my sister used to babysit A LOT and worked in a 3yr old program at a camp and is 27 years old.

He just felt she should have asked us first, especially since he feels we left DS with my parents, not my sister. Basically, he doesn't trust her.

Of course, they were fine, she took the bus with him, so the walking wasn't bad.

But do you think DH overreacted?

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

I wouldn't say I'd be MAD, but i'd expect to be told if my child was leaving the apartment. If that wasn't clear from past babysitting, I'd make sure its clear in the future. Makes no difference to me that it wasn't your parents that took him out.

Re: Would this bother you or did my re

I think he overreacted I think it's kinda sweet they had a little nice day outside walking in the park.

I understand the concerns

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

Ok, well you know me - I'm crazy paranoid, and an absolute control freak.

If my parents (since I don't have siblings) were taking Jack anywhere I would hope to get a phonecall. But, I completely get why they didn't call. You were away for the night, they didn't want to bother you, and ultimately knew it wouldn't be an issue if they did call to tell you.

But, again, I'm a control freak so I need to know every litte thing my child is doing at all times.

There, I said it!

Message edited 1/23/2010 4:25:10 PM.

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

It wouldn't bother me.
When Lily was about a week old, my sister came to visit. She sent us out so we could get away and she watched Lily.
While we were gone, she took her out for a walk in the stroller. We got back, and she told us and it never even crossed my mind that she should have called to ask!

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by Palebride

It wouldn't bother me.
When Lily was about a week old, my sister came to visit. She sent us out so we could get away and she watched Lily.
While we were gone, she took her out for a walk in the stroller. We got back, and she told us and it never even crossed my mind that she should have called to ask!

See, now this wouldn't bother me. I kind of feel a walk in the stroller, and a walk through the city to Central Park is different. But, that's just me

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

I really think in your case you would have to think that dh overreacted bc on NFR you stated that you should trust what your family says. MY opinion would be to agree with your dh that I want to be notified if something changes in plans regarding my child...KWIM...
SO based on your thinking I would think you are likely to say dh overreacted I dont. IMO its a matter of parenting style.

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

Posted by chelle

I think he overreacted I think it's kinda sweet they had a little nice day outside walking in the park.

I understand the concerns

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

i understand how he feels - but since your child is with your mother or mother in law - if it's okay with THEM - then there's no need for concern.

for me - i know my mom is MUCH more protective of Em than we are (you know what i mean)...so if SHE says it's okay - then i'd be okay with it.

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

Posted by chelle

I think he overreacted I think it's kinda sweet they had a little nice day outside walking in the park.

I understand the concerns

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

Message edited 1/23/2010 5:43:43 PM.

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

i definitely think he overreacted!

she is 27--an adult who you trust. when i drop the kids off with my family, they can do whatever they want with them. if i didn't trust them to take them for a walk, what could i trust them to do? assuming she's not letting DS run wild in the street, there's not much harm that could happen.

i let DS and DD's family babysitters have full reign with them. my mom has 2 carseats so she drives them all over. sometimes i'll give my sister my car so she can drive the kids. i don't want or expect a phone call or have to be asked permission for them to do something fun with the kids. i don't want to be on top of them all the time.

i couldn't imagine it any other way.

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

Posted by chelle

I think he overreacted I think it's kinda sweet they had a little nice day outside walking in the park.

I understand the concerns

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

I have learned from knowing my dh 21 yrs. and being married almost 17, sometimes you just DON'T tell them things.

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

Posted by hazeleyes33

I have learned from knowing my dh 21 yrs. and being married almost 17, sometimes you just DON'T tell them things.

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

Honestly, I would have had the exact same reaction as your DH. However you should know that I am, admittedly, an overprotective parent. I want to know where my child is, and with who, at all times. When plans change, even if harmless, it bothers me.

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

Posted by chelle

I think he overreacted I think it's kinda sweet they had a little nice day outside walking in the park.

I understand the concerns

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

Posted by NinaLemon

Posted by chelle

I think he overreacted I think it's kinda sweet they had a little nice day outside walking in the park.

I understand the concerns

I feel the same way, if I saw that on FB I would think it was sweet that my sister thought to do that with DS

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

I would have rather had it run by me beforehand, but I wouldn't be upset.

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

Posted by KateDevine

Posted by PrincessP

Posted by KateDevine

Posted by PrincessP

I really think in your case you would have to think that dh overreacted bc on NFR you stated that you should trust what your family says. MY opinion would be to agree with your dh that I want to be notified if something changes in plans regarding my child...KWIM...
SO based on your thinking I would think you are likely to say dh overreacted I dont. IMO its a matter of parenting style.

I do think he overreacted

My child is 2.5, we are obviously not paying my family to watch DS and he does not have a schedule that needs to be followed.

Furthermore, he didn't want a blow by blow schedule of what my parents were doing with him, so why would it matter what my sister did with him?

ETA-And she took him so he could have a good time, its not like she was taking him some place inappropriate for kids...

Right. She definitely wasnt taking him to an inappropriate place. BUT as long as I leave my child with one person (your parents). I dont want to find out my childs with someone else without being called. To me its a courtesy call. I guess the topper of the whole thing is what you said. Your dh thinks shes a space cadet. This would make me worry even more and increase my worry if I were him. Like I said diff parenting styles.

She lives with them, so technically, we left him with all of them.

My DH does think she is a space cadet, but the reasons for that are too many to list, she is also incredibly intelligent and was a babysitter for many years

Furthermore, I don't think that my DH and I have different parenting styles, which is why I was so surprised about this, he is usually even more laid back than I am...

Message edited 1/23/2010 6:07:20 PM.

Re: Would this bother you or did my DH overreact?

It would definitely bother me if one of my family or DH's family members took my DS to Central Park without asking me. I am not sure I would even allow my DD or DS (they are 1 and 2 years old) to go to Central park without me or my DH. That is JMO. I definitely understand your DH's concerns.