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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17789 total posts
Name:
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Work question - updated - second update
So we are expected to go into work one day a week. It started over the summer.
I didnt go in much over the summer because I had a broken wrist and my dad was really sick and ended up passing away. I also was away on vacation on 3 of the mandatory days (took PTO). One of my kids didnt do camp weekly so he was home too but if I was physically able to go in - I wouldve arranged something for him.
My coworker (we are the same level) didnt come in this summer as she cant afford camp. She did come back last week from 10-2 with a one hour lunch as she had to put her kids on and off the bus. I left early (around 4 because I had to drive my son somewhere as DH is supposed to be off early on Weds and wasnt) but I came in at 8 and didnt take a one hour lunch and went back to work at home.
This week we are expected to come in 2 days. I know my coworker wont be in on our set day as kids are off from school Weds. And likely she wont come in the next day because she will not want to attend our large meeting in person for Covid concerns (even though she has no problem going to casinos and stuff).
Am I wrong to be annoyed that she is doing this? I know we dont get paid a ton but we originally worked in an office full days and had to arrange childcare. All of us have kids that need childcare and everyone else comes in.
ETA - Well, she came in once in November, zero times in December but managed to get someone to watch her kids to come to our holiday party last night... Unmasked even though she is fully masked in our appropriately distanced office...
A couple of weeks she didnt show up, she had a day or two off on our mandatory day, and then last week she was so sick from Covid she couldnt get out of bed on Friday. I guess she made a miraculous recovery to attend the holiday party (maybe thats why she didnt feel she needed to mask either as she just had Covid for the 4th or 5th time).
Message edited 12/16/2022 6:32:04 AM.
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Posted 10/3/22 9:37 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Re: Work question
What did she do before covid? Was she able to get care then as if she did, there is no excuse not to now.
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| Posted 10/3/22 9:41 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17789 total posts
Name:
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Re: Work question
Posted by windyweather21
What did she do before covid? Was she able to get care then as if she did, there is no excuse not to now.
Yes - they went to aftercare and daycare but they are both school aged now so would just need aftercare.
ETA - It just annoys me, I have gone in each time they asked me to (since 2020) and they serve us lunch so most people dont take a lunch break when they are in the office.
Message edited 10/3/2022 9:44:37 AM.
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| Posted 10/3/22 9:43 AM |
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Re: Work question
Posted by ali120206
Posted by windyweather21
What did she do before covid? Was she able to get care then as if she did, there is no excuse not to now.
Yes - they went to aftercare and daycare but they are both school aged now so would just need aftercare.
ETA - It just annoys me, I have gone in each time they asked me to (since 2020) and they serve us lunch so most people dont take a lunch break when they are in the office.
It is wrong then as if she needs days off then she needs to take her vacation/sick/persona/PTO days and be there like everyone else is.
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| Posted 10/3/22 9:45 AM |
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nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1064 total posts
Name:
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Work question
Yes, I would be annoyed. Do you think the boss notices? I would think that the boss would say something.
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| Posted 10/3/22 10:22 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17789 total posts
Name:
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Re: Work question
Posted by nycbuslady
Yes, I would be annoyed. Do you think the boss notices? I would think that the boss would say something.
She is aware she isnt coming in but hasnt said anything.
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| Posted 10/3/22 10:29 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9508 total posts
Name:
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Re: Work question
Is her not coming in to the office affecting you negatively in any way? Or are you just bothered by the fact that you are following the rules and she is not.
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| Posted 10/3/22 10:35 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17789 total posts
Name:
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Re: Work question
Posted by lululu
Is her not coming in to the office affecting you negatively in any way? Or are you just bothered by the fact that you are following the rules and she is not.
Her lack of presence isnt effecting me but it is bothering me that I feel that there is a double standard - I feel that I am expected to go in and I go in, even on days when I have to find childcare. I assume we are paid somewhat similarly... I do live closer
Like Weds for example - everyone else in the group is figuring out childcare to come in and she wont be there I am sure. There is a daycare in our building that takes drop ins but she said it is way too expensive (we used it when the kids were in full time daycare and then for before/after care and camp when they got older and since she is looking for one day, its pricey as the price goes down per day but for an occasional day when the kids are off and we have to go in...)
Message edited 10/3/2022 11:02:05 AM.
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| Posted 10/3/22 10:59 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Work question
Whether or not it affects you personally there cannot be different rules for different people in a work plae
Either you all go in on the required in person days or you all do not.
And how is childcare an excuse? What did she do before Covid?
How does she work from home with kids running around?
I know when my DD was younger I absolutely had to have child care for her when I worked from home.
I feel like people are taking advantage of the 3 year old Covid crap now to suit their own needs.
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| Posted 10/3/22 11:23 AM |
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Re: Work question
Posted by NervousNell
Whether or not it affects you personally there cannot be different rules for different people in a work plae
Either you all go in on the required in person days or you all do not.
And how is childcare an excuse? What did she do before Covid?
How does she work from home with kids running around?
I know when my DD was younger I absolutely had to have child care for her when I worked from home.
I feel like people are taking advantage of the 3 year old Covid crap now to suit their own needs.
Agreed. We had a girl who was constantly taking days off saying her kid was sick or she had no care for her. What did you do before this job and covid? Not fair to everyone else who came in the days required and had to find care for their kids too.
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| Posted 10/3/22 11:36 AM |
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Deeluvsvinny
DONE
Member since 10/08 4952 total posts
Name:
Whatever
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Work question
I think you need to speak with your boss and tell them you're feeling that not everyone is being treated the same. But, know that may not be the case....
Maybe your employer doesn't feel the need for everyone to come in, but appreciates those who do? Maybe she had a conversation with your boss about why she can't come- we've made allowances for certain people here (I'm in management) that we haven't made for others- some people didn't ask for any and some people we simply trust to get their work done at home and have no issue with them not wanting or not being able to come in- for some it's a cost issue, some is childcare, some don't want to commute anymore, some still say they're nervous due to health issues. We evaluate each request and determine based on numerous factors.
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| Posted 10/3/22 11:47 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17789 total posts
Name:
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Re: Work question
Posted by Deeluvsvinny
I think you need to speak with your boss and tell them you're feeling that not everyone is being treated the same. But, know that may not be the case....
Maybe your employer doesn't feel the need for everyone to come in, but appreciates those who do? Maybe she had a conversation with your boss about why she can't come- we've made allowances for certain people here (I'm in management) that we haven't made for others- some people didn't ask for any and some people we simply trust to get their work done at home and have no issue with them not wanting or not being able to come in- for some it's a cost issue, some is childcare, some don't want to commute anymore, some still say they're nervous due to health issues. We evaluate each request and determine based on numerous factors.
I know they have made allowances for some who had issues - mainly those who were too nervous because of Covid - but that had to be done with HR.
It was a loose mandate until this month when our manager emailed us and told us we must come in on Wednesdays (unless you have an allowance from HR).
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| Posted 10/3/22 12:24 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Work question
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by NervousNell
Whether or not it affects you personally there cannot be different rules for different people in a work plae
Either you all go in on the required in person days or you all do not.
And how is childcare an excuse? What did she do before Covid?
How does she work from home with kids running around?
I know when my DD was younger I absolutely had to have child care for her when I worked from home.
I feel like people are taking advantage of the 3 year old Covid crap now to suit their own needs.
Agreed. We had a girl who was constantly taking days off saying her kid was sick or she had no care for her. What did you do before this job and covid? Not fair to everyone else who came in the days required and had to find care for their kids too.
What's annoying is the people who use fear of Covid as an excuse to not attend work things but have no issue going out and about like normal in their personal lives.
An example- my company has a President's Club trip and it's something that you win by meeting certain criteria in sales etc. it's a trip that is all expenses paid by the company and you can bring your family. Everyone who won this year went, no issue. Flew to Florida, stayed at the resort, mingled, etc.
Now a business trip is coming up- all work, no play, no families coming etc. and people are saying - oh I'm not comfortable travelling to that due to Covid.
The SAME people who had no issue travelling to for the free, fun, trip.
You have to have some set to even try that after you just went away on that trip with no issues.
It boggles my mind.
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| Posted 10/3/22 12:42 PM |
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HeyJude
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 820 total posts
Name:
p
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Re: Work question
It would very much annoy me if I worked with this person. But I wouldn't say anything to my Mgr unless: I was asked to take up the slack for this person or had work shifted to me or if I needed to stay home on an in-person day and was denied, then I would bring it up.
I would also have an issue being friendly with someone like this  they are taking advantage and not being a team player. Your manager is not being fair.
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| Posted 10/3/22 12:54 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
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Re: Work question
If it isn’t affecting you and putting more work on you, then I would not really be annoyed. You don’t know what her situation is.
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| Posted 10/3/22 1:34 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17789 total posts
Name:
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Re: Work question
Posted by klingklang77
If it isn’t affecting you and putting more work on you, then I would not really be annoyed. You don’t know what her situation is.
I do - she says she cant afford childcare. I guess the point is its frustrating that I have to set up childcare to go to work some days - sometimes at a cost I would rather allocate to something else. Maybe because I am a little older than her and have a different work ethic - I just dont feel that unaffordable childcare should be an excuse for a job you started full time in the office.
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| Posted 10/3/22 1:59 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9508 total posts
Name:
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Re: Work question
Posted by ali120206
Posted by klingklang77
If it isn’t affecting you and putting more work on you, then I would not really be annoyed. You don’t know what her situation is.
I do - she says she cant afford childcare. I guess the point is its frustrating that I have to set up childcare to go to work some days - sometimes at a cost I would rather allocate to something else. Maybe because I am a little older than her and have a different work ethic - I just dont feel that unaffordable childcare should be an excuse for a job you started full time in the office.
I am very passive agressive, so if it wasn't affecting me personally but it was still annoying the shit out of me, I would say something to my superior along the lines of "I am unclear of what the requirements are, as my understanding that we needed to be in XYZ days, but it seems that so and so does not have that same schedule. Does this mean that it is not a requirement but just a suggestion?"
My guess is that it is annoying her superiors that she is taking advantage and it will eventually come to a head.
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| Posted 10/3/22 2:30 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
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Re: Work question
Posted by ali120206
Posted by klingklang77
If it isn’t affecting you and putting more work on you, then I would not really be annoyed. You don’t know what her situation is.
I do - she says she cant afford childcare. I guess the point is its frustrating that I have to set up childcare to go to work some days - sometimes at a cost I would rather allocate to something else. Maybe because I am a little older than her and have a different work ethic - I just dont feel that unaffordable childcare should be an excuse for a job you started full time in the office.
Well, maybe there is some reason she can’t afford childcare.
I get it. I completely get why you would be annoyed. I think I am just a bit more understanding because I was granted time off work this week due to a special situation. So maybe there is something else going on behind the scenes that you don’t know about.
A lot of people are also realizing that the way the work situation is set up is like slave labor nowadays. Prices are going up, but wages are not. While I understand your work ethic, I don’t think that is accepted by many people now. We are all disposable and loyalty to a job doesn’t exist anymore.
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| Posted 10/3/22 2:36 PM |
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Re: Work question
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by ali120206
Posted by klingklang77
If it isn’t affecting you and putting more work on you, then I would not really be annoyed. You don’t know what her situation is.
I do - she says she cant afford childcare. I guess the point is its frustrating that I have to set up childcare to go to work some days - sometimes at a cost I would rather allocate to something else. Maybe because I am a little older than her and have a different work ethic - I just dont feel that unaffordable childcare should be an excuse for a job you started full time in the office.
Well, maybe there is some reason she can’t afford childcare.
I get it. I completely get why you would be annoyed. I think I am just a bit more understanding because I was granted time off work this week due to a special situation. So maybe there is something else going on behind the scenes that you don’t know about.
A lot of people are also realizing that the way the work situation is set up is like slave labor nowadays. Prices are going up, but wages are not. While I understand your work ethic, I don’t think that is accepted by many people now. We are all disposable and loyalty to a job doesn’t exist anymore.
Then she really needs to find another job, maybe one that is fully remote.
No disrespect but that is not the job or the coworkers problem as if they were told they need to be in the office so many times a week, that is what is required.
It is not fair to others who would probably love to work from home and have other issues in life too but have a job that requires to be in the office.
The problem is that people think they can call the shots and if you work for someone else, you can not for the most part.
We are required to be in the office 3 days a week. We can come in 5 if we would like but we can not work from home those 3 days. I find it a nice balance and I get the parent/child situation as I did it for many many years. I didn't get the opportunity to work from home though or have a flexible schedule. I did what I had to, stayed at a job that had many pro's and paid the bills.
While it is nice that companies are allowing more flexibility for people since covid, they still need to run a business and if you can't work with their schedule while everyone else can, then you should really look elsewhere.
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| Posted 10/3/22 3:00 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9508 total posts
Name:
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Re: Work question
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by ali120206
Posted by klingklang77
If it isn’t affecting you and putting more work on you, then I would not really be annoyed. You don’t know what her situation is.
I do - she says she cant afford childcare. I guess the point is its frustrating that I have to set up childcare to go to work some days - sometimes at a cost I would rather allocate to something else. Maybe because I am a little older than her and have a different work ethic - I just dont feel that unaffordable childcare should be an excuse for a job you started full time in the office.
Well, maybe there is some reason she can’t afford childcare.
I get it. I completely get why you would be annoyed. I think I am just a bit more understanding because I was granted time off work this week due to a special situation. So maybe there is something else going on behind the scenes that you don’t know about.
A lot of people are also realizing that the way the work situation is set up is like slave labor nowadays. Prices are going up, but wages are not. While I understand your work ethic, I don’t think that is accepted by many people now. We are all disposable and loyalty to a job doesn’t exist anymore.
I get what you are saying but it sounds like your situation was a one time deal whereas hers is a weekly occurence. ultimately if managment sets a rule it needs to be followed by everyone or else resentment will build up over time and then they will end up losing the people that actually do care.
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| Posted 10/3/22 3:22 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
Name:
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Re: Work question
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by ali120206
Posted by klingklang77
If it isn’t affecting you and putting more work on you, then I would not really be annoyed. You don’t know what her situation is.
I do - she says she cant afford childcare. I guess the point is its frustrating that I have to set up childcare to go to work some days - sometimes at a cost I would rather allocate to something else. Maybe because I am a little older than her and have a different work ethic - I just dont feel that unaffordable childcare should be an excuse for a job you started full time in the office.
Well, maybe there is some reason she can’t afford childcare.
I get it. I completely get why you would be annoyed. I think I am just a bit more understanding because I was granted time off work this week due to a special situation. So maybe there is something else going on behind the scenes that you don’t know about.
A lot of people are also realizing that the way the work situation is set up is like slave labor nowadays. Prices are going up, but wages are not. While I understand your work ethic, I don’t think that is accepted by many people now. We are all disposable and loyalty to a job doesn’t exist anymore.
Then she really needs to find another job, maybe one that is fully remote.
No disrespect but that is not the job or the coworkers problem as if they were told they need to be in the office so many times a week, that is what is required.
It is not fair to others who would probably love to work from home and have other issues in life too but have a job that requires to be in the office.
The problem is that people think they can call the shots and if you work for someone else, you can not for the most part.
We are required to be in the office 3 days a week. We can come in 5 if we would like but we can not work from home those 3 days. I find it a nice balance and I get the parent/child situation as I did it for many many years. I didn't get the opportunity to work from home though or have a flexible schedule. I did what I had to, stayed at a job that had many pro's and paid the bills.
While it is nice that companies are allowing more flexibility for people since covid, they still need to run a business and if you can't work with their schedule while everyone else can, then you should really look elsewhere.
That is the manager’s choice to keep the colleague on. The employee is doing her job some way or another while working from home. If OP has an issue with it, then she can talk to her manager.
You don’t have to stay at a job if you don’t want to. The colleague has something worked out with the manager, and if OP is unhappy, then she should have her own discussion with her manager.
A martyr complex doesn’t get far these days.
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| Posted 10/3/22 3:24 PM |
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Re: Work question
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by ali120206
Posted by klingklang77
If it isn’t affecting you and putting more work on you, then I would not really be annoyed. You don’t know what her situation is.
I do - she says she cant afford childcare. I guess the point is its frustrating that I have to set up childcare to go to work some days - sometimes at a cost I would rather allocate to something else. Maybe because I am a little older than her and have a different work ethic - I just dont feel that unaffordable childcare should be an excuse for a job you started full time in the office.
Well, maybe there is some reason she can’t afford childcare.
I get it. I completely get why you would be annoyed. I think I am just a bit more understanding because I was granted time off work this week due to a special situation. So maybe there is something else going on behind the scenes that you don’t know about.
A lot of people are also realizing that the way the work situation is set up is like slave labor nowadays. Prices are going up, but wages are not. While I understand your work ethic, I don’t think that is accepted by many people now. We are all disposable and loyalty to a job doesn’t exist anymore.
Then she really needs to find another job, maybe one that is fully remote.
No disrespect but that is not the job or the coworkers problem as if they were told they need to be in the office so many times a week, that is what is required.
It is not fair to others who would probably love to work from home and have other issues in life too but have a job that requires to be in the office.
The problem is that people think they can call the shots and if you work for someone else, you can not for the most part.
We are required to be in the office 3 days a week. We can come in 5 if we would like but we can not work from home those 3 days. I find it a nice balance and I get the parent/child situation as I did it for many many years. I didn't get the opportunity to work from home though or have a flexible schedule. I did what I had to, stayed at a job that had many pro's and paid the bills.
While it is nice that companies are allowing more flexibility for people since covid, they still need to run a business and if you can't work with their schedule while everyone else can, then you should really look elsewhere.
That is the manager’s choice to keep the colleague on. The employee is doing her job some way or another while working from home. If OP has an issue with it, then she can talk to her manager.
You don’t have to stay at a job if you don’t want to. The colleague has something worked out with the manager, and if OP is unhappy, then she should have her own discussion with her manager.
A martyr complex doesn’t get far these days.
Agreed that the poster here should have a talk with the manager if she really feels like it is affecting her work and if it is a possibility that she and other coworkers can do the same.
I still do think that if you agree to a job, you need to abide by the rules or you need to find something that suits your lifestyle better.
Just as I mentioned before, I had a coworker who would call in at least 1-2 days of the 3 days we were required to be in the office. She would say her daughter was sick, or she was sick or she had no child care. Our job is not a remote job and she knew that when taking the job. She knew 3 days out of the week she needed to be in the office. Why was it fair for her to take off (even if she wasn't getting paid) and dump all the work on others?
Why would it be fair to make an exception for her and not other workers because she has kids and can't find (affordable) childcare? It goes more beyond the being able to get her work done. If the job requires you to be in the office, for whatever their reasoning is, then that is what you have to plan your life around.
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| Posted 10/3/22 3:35 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11486 total posts
Name:
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Re: Work question
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by ali120206
Posted by klingklang77
If it isn’t affecting you and putting more work on you, then I would not really be annoyed. You don’t know what her situation is.
I do - she says she cant afford childcare. I guess the point is its frustrating that I have to set up childcare to go to work some days - sometimes at a cost I would rather allocate to something else. Maybe because I am a little older than her and have a different work ethic - I just dont feel that unaffordable childcare should be an excuse for a job you started full time in the office.
Well, maybe there is some reason she can’t afford childcare.
I get it. I completely get why you would be annoyed. I think I am just a bit more understanding because I was granted time off work this week due to a special situation. So maybe there is something else going on behind the scenes that you don’t know about.
A lot of people are also realizing that the way the work situation is set up is like slave labor nowadays. Prices are going up, but wages are not. While I understand your work ethic, I don’t think that is accepted by many people now. We are all disposable and loyalty to a job doesn’t exist anymore.
Then she really needs to find another job, maybe one that is fully remote.
No disrespect but that is not the job or the coworkers problem as if they were told they need to be in the office so many times a week, that is what is required.
It is not fair to others who would probably love to work from home and have other issues in life too but have a job that requires to be in the office.
The problem is that people think they can call the shots and if you work for someone else, you can not for the most part.
We are required to be in the office 3 days a week. We can come in 5 if we would like but we can not work from home those 3 days. I find it a nice balance and I get the parent/child situation as I did it for many many years. I didn't get the opportunity to work from home though or have a flexible schedule. I did what I had to, stayed at a job that had many pro's and paid the bills.
While it is nice that companies are allowing more flexibility for people since covid, they still need to run a business and if you can't work with their schedule while everyone else can, then you should really look elsewhere.
That is the manager’s choice to keep the colleague on. The employee is doing her job some way or another while working from home. If OP has an issue with it, then she can talk to her manager.
You don’t have to stay at a job if you don’t want to. The colleague has something worked out with the manager, and if OP is unhappy, then she should have her own discussion with her manager.
A martyr complex doesn’t get far these days.
Agreed that the poster here should have a talk with the manager if she really feels like it is affecting her work and if it is a possibility that she and other coworkers can do the same.
I still do think that if you agree to a job, you need to abide by the rules or you need to find something that suits your lifestyle better.
Just as I mentioned before, I had a coworker who would call in at least 1-2 days of the 3 days we were required to be in the office. She would say her daughter was sick, or she was sick or she had no child care. Our job is not a remote job and she knew that when taking the job. She knew 3 days out of the week she needed to be in the office. Why was it fair for her to take off (even if she wasn't getting paid) and dump all the work on others?
Why would it be fair to make an exception for her and not other workers because she has kids and can't find (affordable) childcare? It goes more beyond the being able to get her work done. If the job requires you to be in the office, for whatever their reasoning is, then that is what you have to plan your life around.
Well, I think WFH is perfectly reasonable and employers are simply making people come in for selfish reasons (real estate costs, managers wanting to micromanage, etc.).
People should be questioning why some jobs even require working in an office. I find the anti-work movement particularly interesting and I am glad it is happening. Since I have been reading about it, it has really opened my eyes.
I don’t think it does OP any good to be annoyed at her co-worker. She should redirect that to her employer, IMO.
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| Posted 10/3/22 3:52 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17789 total posts
Name:
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Work question
I think my boss knows its an issue - she did reach out to me this afternoon to tell me that her boss isnt coming on Weds because of childcare issues so she doesnt feel it fair to force everyone else to come in. Her boss' boss was the one who said both days. I had already worked something out (for free that my kids will enjoy lol) so I am coming in but I appreciate being given the option.
Now she is torn - it would be easier for her to stay home as well but since she asked directly she feels obligated to go in.
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| Posted 10/3/22 3:53 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Work question
I think another question that should be raised is- if you are "working" from home because you can't afford childcare costs- how are you working while watching your kids?
Older kids, sure maybe... younger ones- babies and toddlers - no way.
Many jobs would require you to prove you have full time child care before you can work from home.
I don't' give a crap if you work from home as long as you are WORKING. Having to watch a young child all day is not conducive to work. Trust me, I've been there.
And I didn't relish paying a mortgage payment each month for daycare either- but having kids come with costs and sacrifices.
Message edited 10/3/2022 3:59:37 PM.
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| Posted 10/3/22 3:57 PM |
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