Why did you/do you want kids?

I know this can be a very broad question....

My question is WHY did you want to have kids? I see a lot of women who feel like their lives wont be complete without children. I see people who dont want kids at all.

But why did you want kids?

To have a family?

To raise a child?

To be a mom?

The reason Im asking is my husband and I have talked about it. Im still young enough to have kids, but we have been of the "if it happens fine, if it does not fine" camp. I dont have a need to be a mom and if I dont get pregnant I dont feel like I'm missing something.

And raising a child is no joke. Its the hardest job a woman will even do. So I am on the fence because its TERRIFYING. I also recognize the joy and love and amazingness a child brings to a family. I get it.

And to be clear, if it happens I would welcome it 100%.

But the question remains, and Im curious of the answers.

Why did you want children?

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

As an only child, raised by her dad who died when i was in my early 20's, I couldn't wait to make my own family. I couldn't wait for the laughter, tears, challenges and never ending rewards children would bring to my life. It's hands down the hardest physical and emotional challenge of my life, however I now have the unconditional love I desired to give and receive for all the years to come. They were my dream, and I will never take these precious little people for granted.

Why did you/do you want kids?

I knew from a very young age that I wanted to be a mom. I was the oldest in my family, I was always around the little ones, I was the family baby-sitter, etc. I have a nurturing personality. It was a role I always pictured myself in.

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

I wanted a family. Family vacations and birthdays and holidays. I wanted all the memories. After #1 and realizing how much work it is I was terrified to even think about #2. But now I'm watch DD grow and learn and it's amazing. I really feel proud to be her mommy and love watching her grow.

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

I think I was in 1st grade when I was asked "what do you want to be when you grow up?". Many people said : fireman, doctor, veterinarian. I was the only one who said "a mommy". I have always had a maternal instinct.

For me...my children are the legacy i leave behind when i'm gone. I haven't cured polio or walked on the moon or done anything amazing that will go down in books...but I will live on through my children, and their children etc.

I don't care about material things...big house, fancy car. I'd live in a shack if it meant having a bigger family and being able to focus more on my kids.

I wanted to be a mom, I also wanted my own family. Also, I believe that this is my purpose above all else.

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

I had the exact same mindset as you did.

Having DS has been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

He's probably given me and DH back every bit of what our parents wished on us in our most challenging moments, and he's only 4.

As hard as it can be though, he is so sweet and loving and wise beyond his years.

I only see us having one child at this point, but I am happy that "whatever happens, happened".

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

I would have always felt like something was missing in my life if I didn't have children. I don't know that I was meant to be a mom...I had to work at conceiving for 2 years....I think the higher up's finally gave in!

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

Growing up and as a young adult, I swore I would never have children (or marry) despite liking children. I just never envisioned myself being married and raising a family. (I assumed I'd be single, traveling the world and protecting dignitaries.)

Then I met my DH. A couple years into our relationship I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and start a family. From that point on it just came naturally.

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

I had a plan that when I was 27 i would get married have 2 kids, twins. I always was the person to take care of everyone. Then 27 came and I was single for a long time kids came off the table didnt think that it would happen for me. I met DH and knew I wanted his children. It was a long road, and IF made me want it even more to be a mom, So my 27yr +10yr++ plan worked out in the end. I cant even remember what it was like without DD nor would I change a thing about my life.

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

When you are ready, you want a baby.

For so many reasons, right AND wrong.

My life was empty and meaningless without kids. Not that I lacked excitement (with a great husband, amazing career)... I just lacked my kids.

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

I am pregnant now, but I never grew up with a burning desire to be a mother. My dreams revolved around travelling & my career. Something changed when I met DH. I just knew that I wanted to have this experience with him. He has always been passionate about children and his passion really rubbed off on me.

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

I have always known that I wanted children. I have such wonderful memories of growing up with my siblings and doing so many fun things, I always knew I wanted my own kids to do those things with. And I always knew I wanted more than 1. I just had my second DD and I am already ready to have another one! If money was no issue I would have at least 4!

I was looking at my DDs before and thinking to myself that motherhood is literally beyond words, and that if someone asked me to describe the love I have for my children I couldn't even put it into words. To me it is truly indescribable. I feel like my life was empty before I had kids and don't know what I did before DD.

I also don't think that anyone but you know when the time is right, if ever. Are they a lot of work? Yes. But I love them so unconditionally that it is worth all the time, effort and money that we put into them.

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

Honestly, I never remember a time where it wasn't what I wanted. Its like wanting to eat dinner, its was just a given for me

Why did you/do you want kids?

I wanted a family, and to give all the love I never received as a child

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

I always knew/felt I wanted to be a mommy. Whenever I got money as a little girl I always had to buy a doll. I loved playing mommy and even in my 6th grade year book when they asked what are you going to be when you grow up I replied a mommy. I loved babysitting and being around children.

I wanted to be pregnant, raise a child and have a family. I struggled with infertility and the thought of not being able to have a child crushed me. I cried many nights and I had no idea what my life would be like without children.

Now that I have kids I love it. I loved the newborn stages and I love the toddler stages (most times). I love watching them grow and learn. I love the family time, doing all the kiddie things that make our girls happy.

For my DH and I we love being parents. Its made our marriage stronger and more fun I think. We live for our girls and we are still in awe everyday of parenthood almost 3 years later. I love the choas and the craziness its sort of what I always thought it would be but better.

I feel like when you are ready and if you really want to you will know.

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

Message edited 6/16/2013 10:03:25 PM.

Why did you/do you want kids?

I actually was never that person who HAD to have children. And not until DH and I got more serious when we were dating did I really truly consider it as an actual possibility. For the first time I could see myself with children!! It was like something just clicked and I saw the two of us with a little family. Parents, babies and pups. I started realizing that there is so much I want to show/do with any children we had and how fulfilling that could be. From the little things like watching them try new foods, teaching them to swim or swinging on a swing to the big things like traveling and hopefully seeing them off to college someday... I'm really enjoying be a mom now and even though DS is an easy baby there are days that are tough and tiring but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. It really is rewarding to even see him hit these little milestones.

I actually think the train of thought "if it happens fine, if it does not fine" is a good way to be!! it leaves you open and if it does happen, like you said you will 100% welcome it but if it doesn't you're fulfilled enough in your own life to remain happy and not feel like you're missing out on anything. But that is just my two cents

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

I don't know how to explain it, I just *knew* from a very young age that I wanted to be a mom and have a family. I am one of 3 kids, my DH is one of 4 and for the both of us, having a family together was a given. I have always felt that becoming a mom and more importantly for me, being a SAHM, was my top priority and what I was meant to do. As much as DH and I love each other and love our time together for us, life wouldn't have felt "complete" without children and a family of our own.

I also think it's just so amazing that because DH and I fell in love new life exists, it's mind blowing. Hopefully one day our children will have children and then their kids will have kids and now we will have created this amazing legacy. I feel like in doing that our time here on earth will have really meant something. Maybe it's corny but I think when your time is up nobody is really going to care about how much money you made or how many vacations you took but they will remember you for the person you were and the beautiful family you left behind. KWIM?

Now that I have children, it's every bit as awesome as I had hoped it would be. Sure it's a challenge sometimes but we are creating these amazing memories with our LO's and DH and I get to relive our youth through them which is really a lot of fun. It's just so cool to get to see the world through a child's eyes again, holidays feel more magical, I am more appreciative of every day........it's just a really incredible experience to be a parent. I love it, it is the BEST thing DH and I ever did!!

I guess to summarize, I just couldn't imagine a life for myself that did not include children...........for me, I would've always felt like something was missing. More than anything, I just felt like I was meant to be somebody's mommy.

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

for so many reasons

for the opportunity to bring someone into this world and show them unconditional love

for all the memories we could make together

to see a toothless smile one day

to hear the words mama and dada

to watch them fall in love get married and have kids

to give them everything i ever wanted and for some reason could not get i will try everything for them

to let someone know i will always always be there no matter what day or night

to make me feel complete knowing i could give someone a better life than i had

everyone said when you have a kid it will be a love you cannot explain unless you experience it...boy were they right

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

Posted by gina409

for so many reasons

for the opportunity to bring someone into this world and show them unconditional love

for all the memories we could make together

to see a toothless smile one day

to hear the words mama and dada

to watch them fall in love get married and have kids

to give them everything i ever wanted and for some reason could not get i will try everything for them

to let someone know i will always always be there no matter what day or night

to make me feel complete knowing i could give someone a better life than i had

everyone said when you have a kid it will be a love you cannot explain unless you experience it...boy were they right

Why did you/do you want kids?

When I was younger, I wanted to me a wife & mom in my early 20's. When my 20's came & went, I honestly thought it would never happen for me. Then, I met DH and knew that I wanted a child with him. A happy little mix of the both of us. For me, it is what life is all about.

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Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

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Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

I actually never liked or appreciated kids at all until DH & I began seriously dating. I wanted to build upon our family with him. I wanted "our" kids - a little part of him & I bundled into a little being. I wondered what they would be like, what we could teach them, what they could teach us. When I couldn't stop thinking about having our kids, is when I knew I wanted them & we would love them & we were ready. We have two kids now & was ready to become pregnant with the third right after we came home form the hospital with our 2nd- lol