Why did you/do you want kids?

DH and I didn't want kids. . . until we did. It was so weird but it was a very sudden change we both went through and now, if we were rich we would never stop having them LOL our DD has improved our lives so drastically. I was still in recovery when I was ready for a second baby LOL

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

I always wanted to be a mother, to have a family.

That said, I wasn't ready for a long time. I was too immature in my 20's. I met my DH and married at 34. I had my kids at 35 and 37, which was the perfect time for me.

DH and I love our life with our kids, even though it is hard at times. It is definitely not for everyone. I have friends without kids who have very full and happy lives.

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

For me the feeling of wanting children was as normal as my everyday routine, it was just a matter of when.

I couldn't wait to hear a tiny little voice call me 'mama', or to be held in tiny arms from the best hug ever.

What our son has brought into our lives besides the normal stress and upside downs is love that is beyond measurable.

We wouldn't have it any other way, he is our strength and our reason to keep going everyday. He needs us just as much as we need him.

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

Why did you/do you want kids?

You sound like I sounded pre-kids. Although if you are not using protection and "letting it just happen" then I think it's the same as trying. ;o)

My mom always told me growing up that you shouldn't have kids "until they were something you couldn't live without" I took that to heart and kept waiting for that magic moment. As a teenager I never dreamed of having kids, I never felt that maternal pull. I never fantasized about my dream wedding, white picket fence fairytale life. I got married and we bought a house and we were like you. If it happened great, if it didn't it would be fine. We worked on our home and on our career. I wanted to build my business, DH wanted to get established and bank some money. We both needed the house to be remodeled before we could bring a baby into it. (it was a major fixer upper). My MIL would drop grandchildren comments and it started to really annoy me. We just were not ready. It got so annoying that we started telling people we were not having kids at all.

I LOVE my nieces. I LOVE kids. But I also had/have a lot, I mean A LOT of anxiety about protecting a child from the world we live in. We were so focused on getting established that the years ticked by. People always said "oh your XYZ age... you still have time" But they don't tell you about how much higher your risks are for infertility, miscarriage, health and developmental problems. Your thirties are not the prime age for conception. Your forties are even harder. Waiting rooms in fertility clinics are primarily filled with thirties and forties couples who waited too long. Thirties are not the new twenties as far as your reproductive cycle is concerned.

When I turned 32 I said to DH if we were going to start a family then we had to start seriously thinking about it. He said not yet. Same when I turned 33. At 34 I said this is it for me. If you don't want to start trying then we are 100% going to make the decision to be a childless couple. So he said ok lets try. We started with the no pressure, no protection approach. Several months later and still not pregnant. We started with home ovulation kits and charting. Nothing. I went to the gyno, he had me try for 3 more months having sex every other day surrounding my ovulation date. Nothing. He put me on clomid, 3 more months.. nothing. Then he sent me to the fertility clinic. They did testing. They put me on more clomid and did ultrasound monitoring. I didn't know that fertility drugs also increase your risks of certain cancers. People don't tell you that you have a 50% chance of needing drugs and increasing your risk of cancer when they tell you "you still have time" in your thirties and early forties.

So somewhere during all this trying I get so baby crazy that now it is all I can think about. I put in the effort and wanted the pay off. Hearing about friends getting pregnant made me burst out in tears. 5 months into constant monitoring, blood tests and fertility drugs and we finally get pregnant. 10 days after we find out we are pregnant we find out we are having twins. After all the struggles we welcomed multiples. We could think of nothing better than a two for one deal :O)

So almost 36 weeks later we had our twins. They are exhausting. Nothing can prepare you for having kids. No one can explain what it feels like for them to be yours. I lived with my nieces their first 3 years of life and it was amazing, but still not the same as having your own. There is nothing like it. It is a 1000x harder than you think it is and also a million times more rewarding. It is the best and worst job ever. LOL

So the whole point of this novella is... for me, once I made the decision to have a baby, in hindsight I really wish I didn't wait so long. I wish someone had told me the real odds and percentages. It took me 2 years of trying and 36 weeks of pregnancy to get my girls. It was really, really hard but very much worth it. :o)

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

I really didn't want kids. It had to do with my younger sister having her first so young and me helping her to raise it.

My DH has always wanted one. I knew this before we got married I just thought he would forget it about it

It's true what they say about it being different when its "your baby" Life with Tiny Tot has been a joy. Sure I have my moments when I go a little crazy but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Oh and I was also one those that was"one and done" but dh had other plans

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

I just always knew I wanted to have a family one day

Re: Why did you/do you want kids?

I wanted nothing more than to be a mom

I wanted a family, the vacations, the parties, the celebtrations

I wanted to experience that unconditional love

Honestly, when I heard I may never be a mom and have a family, it was the worst day ever.

Now that I am... there is nothing that make me happier than when I see my DS smile at me and I know he is happy! That smile makes me melt each and every time

Why did you/do you want kids?

Initially because that's what was drilled into me and sisters heads from mother. After two mc I kinda accepted it might not happen and that dh wouldn't adopt. I lost weight and we now have ds then dd... and actually want a third....we have past up a lot of home improvements vacations and peace of mind on money because of this to make the budget work....but that what we want. I think a lot of people now are not having kids since its more socially acceptable... my sister on the otherhand had kids but it cramped her style too much.

Why did you/do you want kids?

I had DD bc that's "what you do." DH and I were married and owned a home, so we had a kid. Not until she was a few weeks old did I feel that amazing bond and unconditional love for her. Now I couldn't live without her. I'm actually so in love with her, I'm not sure I want another.