Who knows?

Just wondering..

Do your families know about your IF journey?

This is our 14th month TTC - and we'll be starting IF treatments this month (probably remember from other posts! Injectables and IUI).

We haven't even told our families that we are trying.

Do you share this with yours? Or do you keep it private?

Re: Who knows?

To be honest EVERYONE knows about mine!! My life is an open book!! Its my fault because I always open my mouth!! I cant help myself/

Re: Who knows?

Our families know. It is important to me that they understand what I am going through and so I can have a good support system.

It's a personal choice though. Do what's best for you!

Re: Who knows?

My sister and two good friends know of our journey. My mom does not.

I didn't want the added pressure.

Re: Who knows?

Pretty much my whole family knows....a lot has to do with the fact that we've been married for a while now (8 years) so people are curious why we dont have kids yet which I can understand. Thankfully I feel like they've been nothing but supportive.
Plus my momma is my bff so she knows everything I couldnt make it through all this without her.

Re: Who knows?

I did not want to tell anyone, other than my sister, but I felt like I had to tell my mom that I was going in for surgery last month. I was not going to tell her the full reason for the surgery, but she put 2 and 2 together and figured it was because of IF issues. Even though she knows, I do not talk about it with her.

No one in DH's family knows. They are EXTREMELY fertile and lately there has been a new baby born every month (seriously!)!

No one even suspects that we are trying so I don't think anyone even has a clue.

Re: Who knows?

My mom knows and that is about it for family. Told some close friends and a few people that I work with. Telling some of my closest friends helped since many of them are dealing with IF too. They really help me through the bad times since they have been or are going through it themselves.

I wanted to keep it somewhat quiet hence the fake name.

Message edited 10/6/2008 5:40:05 PM.

Re: Who knows?

Posted by dilb712

To be honest EVERYONE knows about mine!! My life is an open book!! Its my fault because I always open my mouth!! I cant help myself

Re: Who knows?

Everyone I am close with knows. I have about 5 very close friends who all had IF issues, so its been helpful. But, I try not to tell everyone exactly what we are doing, but they all call to check up and then I blabber to them.

Re: Who knows?

my very close friends, some family and my boss.

There's nothing going on yet, so no real chat about it. I'm sure I will be chatting soon.

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We waited almost a year and until the official diagnosis to tell our parents and siblings. I told my BFF this past weekend and that is it. I am pretty sure I have all the support I need.

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my mom and sisters and a few close friends......looks like I will have to tell my boss soon.....too many days coming in late

Re: Who knows?

with the first IUI's my family knew, Mom knew details...now that we're starting up again, only mom knows.

Re: Who knows?

The first year ttc we didn't tell anyone. I assumed we would get pg and then just make an announcement. As time went on it got harder to keep it secret and I told my mom, sister and BF. Also my boss knows b/c of time off work. My sister has a big mouth and has told people but know one I really know. DH's family has no idea. They are judgmental and tend to talk about peoples problems behind their back. They don't say negative things but I don't want my infertility to be the topic of conversation nor do I want their pity.

Re: Who knows?

So only a handful of people know of our journey. Mom cousin a few good friends. no one on DH's family knows. We talked about it for months of who to tell and i didn't tell anyone who would make me uncomfortable. IF is hard enough

Re: Who knows?

Everyone in our lives know. We hid it for a while, but I began to feel like we were lying when people asked what we've been up to and we say "nothing". The truth is, this can eat up a lot of time and money. We don't go out the way we used to.

People suspected we were trying, and then I had my ectopic last year and everyone knew we were pregnant (9 weeks). Everyone has been waiting for another announcement.

Also, during the summer it is hard to hide the bruises on my arms when the RE takes blood every day for a week. I am very fair skinned and I bruise easily. Either I tell people they are taking blood at the doctor every day or they suspect I have a heroin addiction.

Re: Who knows?

Our families do know. It was a personal choice to tell them but DH & I agreed that we wanted the extra support system. It truly has been the best decision we made bc going through IF is stressful enough, having others to help you get through it is truly comforting. Our families call to check up on our procedures & appts. They also know when to not ask questions.

Re: Who knows?

Yes...my family, good friends and immediate co-workers know. IVF is such a long emotional journey I could never make it without their support.

Now - did I ask my mother to share it at the lunch table with her co-workers? NO. But she did anyway!

Re: Who knows?

My parents and DH parents know (our siblings don't). None of DH's friends know but several of mine do. So many of them are dealing with IF that they have been a great source of comfort.

I did tell my boss and a co-worker really based on need. IVF takes you out of the office so much that I just felt it was the right thing to let them know. They were both incredibly supportive.

Re: Who knows?

Immediate family knows. I don't know about extended family, although I'm not sure what my parents say to people.

On DH's side, my SIL knows, but his parents don't. They're not real "with it" anyway, so I think its easier not to explain it to them.

Re: Who knows?

only my sister knew at the very beginning - we were both TTCing at the same time, plus she's a doctor so I was always asking her questions after my Dr. appointments.

We told our parents when I started my first IVF cycle. We felt having the extra support and prayers from our families would help. I also think for my husband it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders a little bit, because it was getting harder and harder for him to deal with my emotions (as well as his) every month that failed.

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DH and I told close family members but the word spread around to extended family. If you are a private person and would be upset if too many people know, then I suggest keeping things to yourself.

Re: Who knows?

my sisters know but my mother knows all the details. other than that no one really knows...

Re: Who knows?

everyone does now that my mother in law found me on here. at 1st we only told my mother father and grandmother and i told my best friend and no one eles but now pretty much all our friends and family know

Re: Who knows?

I would like to tell my mom and sister, but DH would rather I didn't. He's very private and doesn't like a lot of people knowing his/our business. Maybe he feels that way because we're dealing with MF. If the issues were with me, I wonder if he'd feel the same way.

My mom and sister never asked about our baby situation. I'm sure they think about it, but have never asked.

He knows that my core group of LIF friends know. I also told a close relative who I know will keep it confidential.