When did you decide if you wanted more children??

I have absolutely no desire to have another baby. Now maybe it's because I'm only 5 months pp. But I always saw myself with 2 children. Did you girls change your minds as time went on? When did you decide you wanted another baby? Because to be honest I almost feel like I might be a one and done!! I would be completely happy with just dd. I Also fear that I can't love another baby as much as I do her.

If we do have another, it won't be for many years. I have a lot I wanted to accomplish first. But this does concern me because I'm not getting any younger and I thought I wanted more children!

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

I felt the same way as you. I was totally able to see myself with just 1 child. I have such a great relationship with my daughter and she is such an easygoing/amazing child that I feared bringing another one into the mix. But all of a sudden at 9 months pp I started missing what it was like when dd was a tiny infant and would just cuddle and sleep on me for hrs. SO I think we decided that we will try again over the summer. I really want dd to have a sibling (secretly I want her to have a sister lol)

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

Yeap thought I was one and done.. now that John is almost 2..im actually thinking about it again.. even though I HATED being pregnant and Hated the first 3 months of infancy!!

Give yourself time.. no need to think about it yet..!!

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

I was in the delivery room, laying on the table, DD was being cleaned up.

I reminded the nurses that I needed a Rhogam shot because we wanted to have more babies right away. DH agreed with me. The nurses were in shock that I was talking about having another baby minutes after vaginal birth LOL they cracked up.

Since then the baby fever has only gotten worse and I can barely wait the 18 months that my OB recommended!

YOU WILL KNOW! LOL

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

i've always known that I want at least 2, DH wants no more than 2 so 2 it is ...

now that DS is almost 17 months, we are talking about it. a few months ago, we thought we would try in November/December so that our two children would be "around" 2.5 years apart but that is only a few months away and I dont know not sure that I am 100% ready.

Really though, when is anyone 100% ready? I think this is something that we will just have to dive right into. We know we want 2, we know we dont want them to be more than 3 years apart. Its almost time

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

i forgot to add - the main reason for #2 ...

i can't imagine my son as an only child. i watch what my mom has/is going thru and I can't do that to my son.

She was alone in taking care of her elderly parents (as in, no siblings or other family) ... she has no one now, literally, no one.

I want DS to always have "someone".

Maybe its that I grew up as 1 of 5 and although I didnt truly appreciate it when I was a kid, I do now. My siblings are the best, we are all close and I don't know how I would exist without ANY siblings.

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

We def want and least one more. I really thought I was ready to start now but not sure I can handle it DS is 2 1/2. I don't want them to be that far apart.

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

Before we even started having kids, we decided on the number 3. It's just something we both agreed on, so it was easy. We both felt strongly about our kids having siblings because we both grew up in families of 4 kids and through thick and thin, your siblings are your friends and it's great to grow up that way

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

I feel just like you and I am now 15 months PP and it hasn't changed.
THe newborn stage was so hard that I wasn't sad to see any of it go and the thought of doing it all again seemed like pure torture to me.
I also hated every second of being pregnant and I just have zero desire.

Message edited 9/23/2011 8:58:58 AM.

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

I knew pretty much right after she was born. As each stage passes I think ok don't be to sad yet, you'll have another newborn one day. I pretty much always knew I'd want more than one and that hasn't changed. I wouldn't say I want to start for number 2 right now, but the desire is still there.

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

Before got pregnant with DS I always wanted 2 kids. Once DS was here I wanted another child just didn't want to be pregnant again. I had a really hard pregnancy.

Eventually we just decided to bite the bullet and move forward with growing our family. Best.decision.ever.!

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

When DS was 4 - Im pregnant with #2 now. We were on the fence leaning towards one and done for a LONG time.

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

we knew we always wanted 2, however my pregnancy with my 1st was soo rough, after I gave birth, we were leaning toward having him be an only child. I remember a friend asking me when DS was 18 months if I wanted another and I said I think I did, but I was still not ready at that point. Well When DS was around 22 months, I got the bug and I looked at my DH and said I want another, and he said he was feeling the same way and we tried (and got pregnant) the next month. We are on the fence for a 3rd now. We are so happy with two right now, so are going to revisit it in a couple years and see how we feel.

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

The twins are 9 months and i would say a few weeks ago is when i realized that i really do want 1 more. We tossed it back and fourth when they were born thinking that we might want another but were not really sure. We have the perfect family. A boy and a girl. Everyone always says, "boom! both at one shot now your done". I'm really not though. We decided that we're going to try next year and see what happens.

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

I always knew I wanted more than one. I am an only, and 100% respect that choice. However, I knew I wanted a sibling for dc. I also knew I wanted them close (2 yrs) in case I had a hard time ttc #2.

What was hard was deciding to stop after 2

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

Before any of them were born. I always knew I wanted at least three. I'm crazy enough to have 4, but unfortunately my DH isn't so 3 it is!

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

The second question I asked in the recovery room, after, "Is Lila ok?" was "Can I have a VBAC for #2?" I come from a big family and always wanted a bunch of kids. I still do... just not right this second.

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

I always knew I wanted at least 2. 5 months pp, I wouldn't want another yet either.

I couldn't imagine loving another as much as I loved DD, but I love them both the same. Your heart just makes room!

We were on the fence about #3, and it just happened, so I didn't have to decide.

Now I am DONE!

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

haha Kristin- funny that you posted this- I was holding my friend's little one yesterday and she was like doesnt that make you ache for another

I was like nope!

I always wanted to 2, hopefully when B is a little older (like 10 j/k) we will have another lol

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

I always knew I would have at least 2 kids.
It wasnt until DS was 18 months that I started thinking about when I wanted #2. But I will say for that first 18 months I did say, I would be perfectly happy, content, with no regrets if I never had a second child.

For DH he REALLY was content with just one DS then when he was 2yo he said you know maybe....

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

I always thought Id have 2. But I got off to a late start and had my DD at the age of 37. My daughter was a preemie born at 27w and weighed only 1lb 12oz. It was a very traumatic experience and completely unexpected. She had to spend 2 and 1/2 long months in the NICU. I had pre-emclampsia and spent a week in the hospital. I know that it may or may not happen again but not sure I could go through it again...especially with a toddler at home. I do regret not having the "normal" birth experience though.

My DD is almost 20 months now and I honestly cant imagine having another. I sometimes wish I could give her a brother or sister but she has cousins shes very close to and as a FTWM who can barely keep up with everything now Id rather focus on just raising her to be the best she can be and be the best parent I can be.

Sometimes I still get the urge to have another but the clock is ticking - Im going on 39 in Jan so the window is closing to fully commit one way or the other. Im leaning towards one and done even though my DH would like another.

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

Originally I wanted 2, he wanted 3.

She was born

I said "Lets revisit when she's 3" and now she's 3 and we've spent 3 yrs happily saying one and done.

I don’t believe only children suffer.
I don’t believe having siblings means not being alone
I don’t believe having siblings is automatically better
I don’t believe having siblings automatically means having a friend
I don’t believe being an only child is hurtful
I don’t believe having an only child is selfish
I don’t believe being an only child means I am denying her of anything

The more I realized that it was society that made the rules that push for siblings and the more I reflect on how close I am to my siblings and he is to his, I realized, I don’t NEED to be pushed. Love is around us all the time. I have friends I’d take a bullet for. They don’t need to carry my blood for me to care.

Just because you have siblings doesn’t mean they’ll be there later. Heck even beyond personalities you can’t predict the future. I got into a bad accident when I was 18, that could have ended it. He fell off a Navy ship at 20 and could have died. I drowned at 6 but was brought back. Who can tell?

I am happy with my one. She fulfills our family. She is our family. She isn’t sheltered, she’s adventurous and we let her fall. I hope to be able to provide her everything she’ll need to be successful. Even if I had a bucket full of cash, I probably still would wait until she was 5. But I’m not rich. I can’t guarantee anything. I love that I can afford more frivolous things with her.

We are happy.

We’d be happy with another, sure, but we don’t need another to be happy. And THAT realization meant, no more kids for us.

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

Before I got pregnant with my 1st.

I'm pregnant with our 2nd now & know I want a third (but in at least 2 years).

My DS is NOT easy... getting preggo (with him) was next to impossible, but he's the best thing that ever happened to me.

It's hard work, but the way I see it, all the great things in life are. I never got anything good in life easily.

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

We always knew we wanted at least 2 (I say 3, DH says 2 haha), but until DS was over 1 year old, I could not even think about having another. I even thought about being 1 and done on some of the harder days, but the reality is that we have always wanted DS to have at least one sibling. You never know how you will feel when your DC is older.

Re: When did you decide if you wanted more children??

DH always wanted at least 2 (maybe 3) and once we had DD I said I didn't want anymore, but as I saw DD get a little older I wanted her to have a sibling. DD turned 5 in July and I'm due with #2 in Dec.