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igottabeme
Its peanut butter jelly time!
Member since 1/08 2340 total posts
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Wouldnt you like to know! ;)
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What would you have done?
DH and i were at Target last night. suddenly we hear a baby screaming and crying bloody murder! i look around to see whats up and i hear the mother screaming at the baby "you dont do that to me. im the adult, you dont hit me!" and then she proceeds to hit the little girl on her hands and on her head. and im not talking a love tap, like she had an open hand and was hitting her so hard i could hear the smack. the baby was 2-3 y/o.
would you have said something to her? everyone around was just going about their business but i could see some women just stopping and staring and just didnt know what to do.
i wanted to say something but DH said to mind my own business. maybe i wouldnt have said anything to the mom because she was kinda scary looking...but maybe to the baby like "dont cry sweetie, you're okay" kinda thing. i just felt horrible!
the woman just went on with her shopping while her child was still screaming and crying.
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Posted 3/7/08 3:44 PM  |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
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Re: What would you have done?
I wouldn't have done anything. Who knows what the back story is. Sounds like she was at the end of her rope. I know I've had days where I've lost my temper and snapped at my dd and she started to cry. And then I felt even worse. If that had happened in public and someone approached me I would probably have freaked out on them.
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| Posted 3/7/08 3:48 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
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M
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Re: What would you have done?
Posted by CathyB
I wouldn't have done anything. Who knows what the back story is. Sounds like she was at the end of her rope. I know I've had days where I've lost my temper and snapped at my dd and she started to cry. And then I felt even worse. If that had happened in public and someone approached me I would probably have freaked out on them.
Ditto.
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| Posted 3/7/08 3:50 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
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Re: What would you have done?
Now that I'm a mom, yes, I would have said something to the affect that "If you want your daughter not to hit, then mommy needs to reconsider hitting too."
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| Posted 3/7/08 3:50 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
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MJ
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Re: What would you have done?
Posted by CathyB
I wouldn't have done anything. Who knows what the back story is. Sounds like she was at the end of her rope. I know I've had days where I've lost my temper and snapped at my dd and she started to cry. And then I felt even worse. If that had happened in public and someone approached me I would probably have freaked out on them.
ditto
i know people might say "i have to intervene in the best interest of the child" but in reality some people don't know the entire store of their situation.
unless i watched a mother seriously BEATING their child and causing obvious harm to them that is a extreme--i would not intervene
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| Posted 3/7/08 3:52 PM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: What would you have done?
Posted by bicosi
Posted by CathyB
I wouldn't have done anything. Who knows what the back story is. Sounds like she was at the end of her rope. I know I've had days where I've lost my temper and snapped at my dd and she started to cry. And then I felt even worse. If that had happened in public and someone approached me I would probably have freaked out on them.
Ditto.
Ditto
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| Posted 3/7/08 3:52 PM |
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igottabeme
Its peanut butter jelly time!
Member since 1/08 2340 total posts
Name:
Wouldnt you like to know! ;)
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Re: What would you have done?
Posted by shamrock124
Now that I'm a mom, yes, I would have said something to the affect that "If you want your daughter not to hit, then mommy needs to reconsider hitting too."
exactly that was my first thought! im not a mom so i dont know the "end of my rope" feeling yet. but i would think that logic would tell her that telling her daughter "dont hit me" and then proceed to hit her wouldnt really be teaching her anything.
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| Posted 3/7/08 3:53 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
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Re: What would you have done?
Honestly, I have no idea what I would have done. I would only know how to handle , when I was in the moment.
Message edited 3/7/2008 3:54:33 PM.
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| Posted 3/7/08 3:53 PM |
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jennyb
Expecting #3 in Sept!
Member since 8/07 2174 total posts
Name:
Jen LIW: jenafee
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Re: What would you have done?
Posted by CathyB
I wouldn't have done anything. Who knows what the back story is. Sounds like she was at the end of her rope. I know I've had days where I've lost my temper and snapped at my dd and she started to cry. And then I felt even worse. If that had happened in public and someone approached me I would probably have freaked out on them.
Well put and agreed.
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| Posted 3/7/08 3:53 PM |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
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Re: What would you have done?
It depends on how hard the child was being hit and where. I wouldn't care about the tough day she had etc at that point. I would have called the police.
A light tap on the hand, I wouldn't have done a thing.
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| Posted 3/7/08 3:54 PM |
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igottabeme
Its peanut butter jelly time!
Member since 1/08 2340 total posts
Name:
Wouldnt you like to know! ;)
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Re: What would you have done?
Posted by 5ofClubs
It depends on how hard the child was being hit and where. I wouldn't care about the tough day she had etc at that point. I would have called the police.
A light tap on the hand, I wouldn't have done a thing.
no, no a light tap im all for because i was raised with the occasional hit to the hand and i grew up fine.
but it was hard, like i literally flinched when she hit her and it was 4 or 5 times on each hand and then really hard on her head. and the baby looked terrified and was scrounching down in the seat.
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| Posted 3/7/08 3:57 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
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:)
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Re: What would you have done?
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Posted by CathyB
I wouldn't have done anything. Who knows what the back story is. Sounds like she was at the end of her rope. I know I've had days where I've lost my temper and snapped at my dd and she started to cry. And then I felt even worse. If that had happened in public and someone approached me I would probably have freaked out on them.
ditto
i know people might say "i have to intervene in the best interest of the child" but in reality some people don't know the entire store of their situation.
unless i watched a mother seriously BEATING their child and causing obvious harm to them that is a extreme--i would not intervene
ITA
It would depend on how hard. I can't tell how hard just from your description, nor can I tell other things from your description. I would have had to see it for myself.
I had gotten many a smack when I was a child and I lived to tell about it. I am not saying I would do it, I don't have kids yet but I won't judge (unless of course I saw and felt it was out of line). My gut instinct says the mom acted childish (playing tit for tat with the slapping), but was it blatant abuse? I would not say yes to that from what you wrote.
JMO
Message edited 3/7/2008 4:09:11 PM.
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| Posted 3/7/08 3:59 PM |
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LIMOMx2
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Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: What would you have done?
Posted by igottabeme
Posted by 5ofClubs
It depends on how hard the child was being hit and where. I wouldn't care about the tough day she had etc at that point. I would have called the police.
A light tap on the hand, I wouldn't have done a thing.
no, no a light tap im all for because i was raised with the occasional hit to the hand and i grew up fine.
but it was hard, like i literally flinched when she hit her and it was 4 or 5 times on each hand and then really hard on her head. and the baby looked terrified and was scrounching down in the seat.
I would have def called the police. That poor child
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| Posted 3/7/08 3:59 PM |
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bomb-blast
bye bye
Member since 11/06 1327 total posts
Name:
Leo
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Re: What would you have done?
Well, mommy never said, "don't hit." She said, "you don't hit mommy."
You could've said something. Me personally, i wouldn't. I'm sure if she's hitting the child like this in public, what must she be doing behind closed doors? Short of calling the police or child services, there isn't really much one can do.
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| Posted 3/7/08 4:05 PM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: What would you have done?
I wouldn't have approached her only because who knows what kind of repercussions that would cause for that poor child when she got home.
If it was bad enough, I might approach a manager to maybe call the police.
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| Posted 3/7/08 4:08 PM |
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azoodie
Member since 8/05 8377 total posts
Name:
Team SEXY BACK
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Re: What would you have done?
No. It's not my place and not my business. Unless the child is being BEAT....
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| Posted 3/7/08 4:09 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: What would you have done?
I would have minded my own business. how one disciplines their child is none of my business. You run your family your way and I'll run my family my way.
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| Posted 3/7/08 4:12 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: What would you have done?
Posted by bomb-blast
Well, mommy never said, "don't hit." She said, "you don't hit mommy."
You could've said something. Me personally, i wouldn't. I'm sure if she's hitting the child like this in public, what must she be doing behind closed doors? Short of calling the police or child services, there isn't really much one can do.
I don't think that's a fair assumption. She could be at the end of her rope, which often happens when you have toddlers. She could have been disciplining the child all day, or all week for that matter, and just finally snapped. Reprimanding a child, in public or private, does not mean that she goes home and tortures them, IMO.
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| Posted 3/7/08 4:14 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: What would you have done?
Posted by pmpkn087
I would have minded my own business. how one disciplines their child is none of my business. You run your family your way and I'll run my family my way.
I do think parents have very little rights nowadays. When we were young, your parents had the right to discipline. Now parents have to be afraid someone will call the cops if their child is screaming too much in the house (or in public). Protecting children is one thing, having to be afraid to be authoritative is another.
So I would really have to feel the child was being very abused and in severe danger to "call the cops".
Message edited 3/7/2008 4:15:22 PM.
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| Posted 3/7/08 4:14 PM |
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Katie111806
Team Pink!
Member since 12/06 5349 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: What would you have done?
Posted by jennyb
Posted by CathyB
I wouldn't have done anything. Who knows what the back story is. Sounds like she was at the end of her rope. I know I've had days where I've lost my temper and snapped at my dd and she started to cry. And then I felt even worse. If that had happened in public and someone approached me I would probably have freaked out on them.
Well put and agreed.
I agree I would not do anything, but it would be difficult to bite my tongue.
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| Posted 3/7/08 4:15 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: What would you have done?
Posted by 5ofClubs
Posted by igottabeme
Posted by 5ofClubs
It depends on how hard the child was being hit and where. I wouldn't care about the tough day she had etc at that point. I would have called the police.
A light tap on the hand, I wouldn't have done a thing.
no, no a light tap im all for because i was raised with the occasional hit to the hand and i grew up fine.
but it was hard, like i literally flinched when she hit her and it was 4 or 5 times on each hand and then really hard on her head. and the baby looked terrified and was scrounching down in the seat.
I would have def called the police. That poor child
Wow, this day and age, my mom would be in jail, I guess . And I hardly consider her someone who "beat" her children. 
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| Posted 3/7/08 4:16 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: What would you have done?
Posted by Goobster
Posted by pmpkn087
I would have minded my own business. how one disciplines their child is none of my business. You run your family your way and I'll run my family my way.
I do think parents have very little rights nowadays. When we were young, your parents had the right to discipline. Now parents have to be afraid someone will call the cops if their child is screaming too much in the house (or in public). Protecting children is one thing, having to be afraid to be authoritative is another.
So I would really have to feel the child was being very abused and in severe danger to "call the cops".
I sooo agree with this!
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| Posted 3/7/08 4:16 PM |
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igottabeme
Its peanut butter jelly time!
Member since 1/08 2340 total posts
Name:
Wouldnt you like to know! ;)
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Re: What would you have done?
well i wouldnt have called the cops cause like i said, i was raised with a smack to the hands too and i'll more than likely discipline my children the same way.
but these werent light smacks she was giving the baby. but then again, my perception of light smack is subjective i suppose.
i really wanted to just say something to the baby to make her smile or laugh or something. i just felt bad for her thats all.
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| Posted 3/7/08 4:25 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: What would you have done?
Posted by pmpkn087
Posted by 5ofClubs
Posted by igottabeme
Posted by 5ofClubs
It depends on how hard the child was being hit and where. I wouldn't care about the tough day she had etc at that point. I would have called the police.
A light tap on the hand, I wouldn't have done a thing.
no, no a light tap im all for because i was raised with the occasional hit to the hand and i grew up fine.
but it was hard, like i literally flinched when she hit her and it was 4 or 5 times on each hand and then really hard on her head. and the baby looked terrified and was scrounching down in the seat.
I would have def called the police. That poor child
Wow, this day and age, my mom would be in jail, I guess . And I hardly consider her someone who "beat" her children.
Yup, my mom too! lol
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| Posted 3/7/08 4:26 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: What would you have done?
It happened to me.
This woman was at the park & hitting her toddler son. She had a baby in her hands & whacked him a few times.
I asked her if she wanted help.
She burst into tears. She sat down on my blanket & said "I know everyone thinks I'm a lunatic." I told her "Nope. Just the ones that don't have children. I leave one at home so I have 2 hands free." She had just moved to Huntington. Her DH was working late hours. She hadn't unpacked the house with a newborn & a toddler. She was a wreck.
My son played with her son for a bit & then we went on our way.
I think it would depend on the situation, how hard the hit was, etc.
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| Posted 3/7/08 4:27 PM |
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