Re: What do you consider a "good" mom?

I remember sitting at a birthday party last year. All the mom's were complaining about how poorly behaved their kids were and how time outs didn't work for their kids and they were at a loss on what to do. I suggested that a spanking might help. There was dead silence. An uncomfortable dead silence. I then continued with it works in my household. Some woman tried to make me feel like I wasn't a monster by saying "well, everyone has their own discipline that works." I feel that I am a good mom. Although, those other women were clearly judging me and my tactics.

There is a lot of judging of other moms these days. It is terrible. I really believe as long as the mother really wants to do a good job, she is doing a great job! No kid ever came with an instruction manual. Parenting is the toughest job in the world, and apparently there are many different ways to get it done well.

Re: What do you consider a "good" mom?

Re: What do you consider a "good" mom?

Message edited 3/17/2013 1:54:38 PM.

Re: What do you consider a "good" mom?

Thanks everyone. I remember one time asking my mom when my 1st child was about 2 or 3, so do you think I am a good mother and she basically took too long to answer and it really did not sound too sincere when she said yes...I could not believe that and maybe that is why I still doubt myself. She also comes from the generation who thinks that if you work your child is being raised by someone else. I have shown her over and over how that is not true but she will still say stupid things like that to me even though my kids are older and it has been proven that we have and are raising them and that my kids KNOW who their mother is (she used to tell me that my kids won't call me mom as they won't know me). Ummm...ok...yeah sometimes I am called the teachers name and sometimes they call their teacher mom but that is something totally different. lol.

Re: What do you consider a "good" mom?

Oh please. That whole daycare thing where people say the child won't know who their mom thing is such bullshitt.

When I dropped him off each morning, he cried. He didn't get excited and bop on his baby heiny. He got excited and happy when I picked him up. He didn't cry for his daycare teachers (although he loved them).

At night, he would wake up and cry mama.

Sending a kid to daycare is not any reflection on who you are as a mom. It's a reflection in whether you could quit your job and stay home. Some moms just can't. Good OR bad.

Re: What do you consider a "good" mom?

In my mind, there is no finish line in parenting so I find it useless to divy up who is a good mom & who is not.

I discipline my kids when I need it. I lose my temper too. I create weekend adventures but will flip out because my kid refuses to eat a vegetable no matter what punishments we've doled out.

My mom wasn't a good disciplinarian. Sometimes we behaved; sometimes we did not behave. Some of us struggled with finances; some of us struggled with our own demons. All of us are pretty decent adults & all of us love my mom tremendously. So the fact that she didn't punish us when we got caught at a keg party or threw a tantrum in a store means nothing now. She was (is) a great mom & I only hope my kids feel similar to who I feel about my mom.

If I've raised healthy, normal adults. Outside influences (drugs, friends, the bitchy DIL) may prevail & maybe I won't win out. I hope I do. That's when I'll figure out if I am a good mom until then, I don't care who thinks I'm a lunatic or not strict enough - and neither should anyone else.

Message edited 3/17/2013 4:47:27 PM.

Re: What do you consider a "good" mom?

Jmo, my friends who I consider really good moms are the ones who are always on top of their kids, disciplining them, talking to them, explaining things, being kind. They just seem very in-tune. My other friends who are not as engaged are still good moms, they just happen to be more relaxed. Again, jmo.

Re: What do you consider a "good" mom?

Re: What do you consider a "good" mom?