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CouponKT
Our family is complete
Member since 6/06 16494 total posts
Name:
K
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What are your thoughts on this...?
Scenario:
DD wants name brand jeans that have a steep price.
I was able to buy these name brand items at a fraction of the cost in a consignment shop.
Am I:
A) a smart mom. All she wants is the label. I was able to get her what she wanted and didn't have to break the bank
B) an enabler. Just because she wants it doesn't mean she should have it, no matter what the cost.
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Posted 1/18/14 4:01 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: What are your thoughts on this...?
That's a tough one. I would say A. I think many children want brand name things and I think it's a normal thing about wanting to be cool, accepted, etc. I say it's ok when you can afford it and your child does NOT demand it.
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| Posted 1/18/14 4:05 PM |
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pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: What are your thoughts on this...?
I would say "A" as long as DD understands that it is not an everyday occurrence, that she will always be able to get everything she wants...trying to teach her that we all have to live within our means, but that it is ok to splurge sometimes on something we love.
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| Posted 1/18/14 4:12 PM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: What are your thoughts on this...?
A... You showed her that with some research and work you were able to give her what she wants and not break the bank. It worked in this circumstance. Also shows her that it may not always work out this way and next time she may not be as lucky so teach her to appreciate the value of a dollar. In the future... Tell her to get a job. Lol. Well, at least around 13 - 14 I started babysitting and made my own money to buy things I wanted. If it was something I really wanted my parents would split something with me.
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| Posted 1/18/14 4:14 PM |
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cds58019
The loves of my life :)
Member since 6/08 4276 total posts
Name:
Candice
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What are your thoughts on this...?
Not sure how old your DD is but I would get them but explain to her that you were able to get them because you found them for a cheaper price then what they regularly cost. Also it would matter if she wanted them only because they were a name brand or if she only wanted them because of how they looked. If she only wanted them because of how they looked and could care less who made them then I wouldnt make as huge of a deal about being able to get them.
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| Posted 1/18/14 4:16 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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What are your thoughts on this...?
A I will do what I can for my dd within means. I will always make sure she knows the value of $ but I don't think there anything wrong with doing something nice for your dd. You also don't want the other extreme where they put too much value on money and are always told no. And constantly want things.
I have a friend that does this with his son and his children 'starve' for money. Every holiday and every birthday all they ask for is money. They are constantly angry with their parents because they want things and are constantly told no. And its not that my friend doesn't have it hes just cheap... to the extreme... LOL
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| Posted 1/18/14 8:13 PM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: What are your thoughts on this...?
I don't have a problem with it if you got it at a price you were comfortable with it and she understands that it won't happen again unless it can be found at a price you can live with OR she can pay for with her own money.
I don't have problems with an occasional gift surprise like that as long as they understand it is not expected.
I see where you are coming from. But I don't necessarily think one purchase makes an enabler. If every time she wants an expensive item you rush out and get it then yes I might agree. But if you are a smart shopper, can afford an occasional treat or birthday/holiday gift and can live with what you paid I don't see the harm of an occasional surprise if she wants another pair maybe tell her either she must find it for no more than $x amount, she can ask for it for x occasion and IF you find it on sale or at a good price you might get it, or she can save and buy it herself.
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| Posted 1/19/14 3:31 AM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: What are your thoughts on this...?
That's a tough one!
We are happy we are not there yet & I may be saying something different in a few years...
We've promised not to get our kids name brand items (like Gucci), but to stick with stuff we were neglected with as kids (gap).
It bothers me to see 4 yr olds walking in name brand uggs.
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| Posted 1/19/14 9:58 PM |
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Alli06
Baby #3 coming this June
Member since 8/05 6721 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: What are your thoughts on this...?
You are A a smart mom. My parents never would buy me a single name brand thing. I didn't even want anything that was too crazy. It was a waste of money to them, which I understand, but I really wished I had better clothes back then. I still think about it. Kids want to fit in, and I just don't see a problem with it.
As long as a parent doesn't go crazy buying them everything, I don't see a problem with splurging here and there.
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| Posted 1/20/14 12:14 AM |
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Re: What are your thoughts on this...?
Posted by nycgirl
That's a tough one!
We are happy we are not there yet & I may be saying something different in a few years...
We've promised not to get our kids name brand items (like Gucci), but to stick with stuff we were neglected with as kids (gap).
It bothers me to see 4 yr olds walking in name brand uggs.
I agree with this! If you were able to get the brand name for a good price, then that is smart shopping and teaching your DD a good lesson about saving money, IMO.
I wouldn't buy my toddler brand name Uggs bc she outgrows shoes after 1 season. But I do buy her brand name cons, bc I get them on Shoebuy.com with a coupon code and ebates and get a great price. As she gets older and into brand names, I think we will get them for her within reason. I agree with making sure they appreciate the more expensive stuff, and don't become spoiled label whores. But at the same time, always saying no to brand names will create the opposite, where they want them SO much bc they never had and then they grow up and get their own money and splurge on themselves left and right bc they can.
I also think there is a difference between designer names and brands. I have no problems buying Abercrombie, J Crew, etc...but will probably rarely buy my teenager Michael Kohrs or Coach unless its her 1 big birthday gift...KWIM?
Message edited 1/20/2014 10:02:37 AM.
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| Posted 1/20/14 10:01 AM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: What are your thoughts on this...?
I think you are a smart mom, but I would explain to DD that you were lucky to find them, that they were a great price, that you may not get a bargain like that again - in which case you are not going to pay full price or even coupon price for them in the future.
My 4 year old DD received a pair of Uggs from friends of ours. My friend's DD grandma bought them for her DD but they did not fit by the time she wanted to wear them. They were beyond the point where they could be returned so my friend gave them to me for my DD. My DD wore them and loved them a lot. I did not get her new Uggs when she outgrew them. I got her ugg like shoes from Costco for $15.
My personal feeling is that while my kids are young I shop inexpensively for them. I am sure when they are older they will eventually ask for name brand stuff, but until then I will shop off season and sales. Even once they ask for expensive items they will not get everything they ask for. They might get one of the things as a birthday present but not as everyday clothing. If they want that they can get a job to pay for it themselves. It is my job as a parent to make sure they have clothing that fits them and is age appropriate, but not my job to make sure it is designer.
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| Posted 1/20/14 10:58 AM |
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What are your thoughts on this...?
A - I think if you didn't break the bank and you got them so cheap why not do something nice for your DD?! If you broke the bank and couldn't afford them but got them anyway, then I would say "enabler".
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| Posted 1/20/14 12:37 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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What are your thoughts on this...?
hrmmm
B for me mostly. I just don't buy her name brand anything when I can avoid it.
HOWEVER if you got it at steal its hard to say no, ya know. But I try to explain to her that she doesn't NEED the things that the TV says or that the friends have. She is unique and doesn't need to be part of the pack.
If I can get her what she wanted at a decent price, I would and explain its a one time thing. And next thing she'd ask for would be a no and a point back to the jeans, no matter WHAT it cost me because she needs to understand the value of a dollar. I don't care that I got it cheap. Id basically 'earn' back the value of the jeans (what I paid).
But mine is only 5.
She has learned the concept tho. "I want __________ " Well that's fine but it costs $$$ and you can't have This and this if you want that. Its your choice. She will normally say no then to the one higher priced item. However if she says yes, and I get it for her. The next few things she asks for I remind her "you can't have that because you got ________, remember" and she'll say "Oh yeah" and move on. So far she's been REALLY good about that.
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| Posted 1/20/14 12:45 PM |
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MrsW2010
Mommy of two!
Member since 5/10 2202 total posts
Name:
Jill
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Re: What are your thoughts on this...?
I say A
We all want nice things and when she is old enough she will understand we can't always get it, but when we can its because we work hard and save for it. For now I saw the consignment route was genius!!
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| Posted 1/22/14 2:37 PM |
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Jpteach95
LIF Infant
Member since 8/13 315 total posts
Name:
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What are your thoughts on this...?
I think A as long as DC knows it wont be an always.
However, I hope that when I am in this situation, I will also let my DC know that if this is above and beyond she/he may need to kick in with birthday money, etc to off set the cost. Our plan is to give a small portion of birthday/Christmas money etc to the child to save ad spend as desired and the rest goes to college fund. I'm hoping this will help DC understand value of money.
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| Posted 1/22/14 3:22 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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What are your thoughts on this...?
I already replied to this but i just wanted to say at the end id the day you do what is best for you and your family. Everyone has a different line in the sand do what you think is right. Its you that lays your head down at night. It depends on your income and budget and what you feel most comdortable with. 1purchase isnt going to create a monster.
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| Posted 1/22/14 5:06 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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What are your thoughts on this...?
Smart Mom for sure...
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| Posted 1/22/14 5:07 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: What are your thoughts on this...?
Definitely A!
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| Posted 1/22/14 8:49 PM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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Re: What are your thoughts on this...?
Most definitely A.
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| Posted 1/22/14 10:14 PM |
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luvmyReese
Hello Kitty
Member since 1/08 7542 total posts
Name:
Catt
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What are your thoughts on this...?
Your one of the smartest Moms I know..and your gonna pass it down. :)
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| Posted 1/22/14 10:24 PM |
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CouponKT
Our family is complete
Member since 6/06 16494 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: What are your thoughts on this...?
Posted by luvmyReese
Your one of the smartest Moms I know..and your gonna pass it down. :)
 
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| Posted 1/23/14 11:08 AM |
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Lisa982006
Mommy of 2! Ty God
Member since 9/06 3107 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: What are your thoughts on this...?
Smart mom. I would do and will do the same for my daughter
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| Posted 1/23/14 11:27 AM |
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MamaGee
LIF Infant
Member since 11/12 210 total posts
Name:
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What are your thoughts on this...?
If you're torn, maybe in the future have her earn money to buy the items. Have her do special things around the house or for others to earn the money and then buy the items herself.
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| Posted 1/23/14 5:05 PM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: What are your thoughts on this...?
Posted by Lisa982006
Smart mom. I would do and will do the same for my daughter
same! A smart mom for sure !
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| Posted 1/23/14 7:24 PM |
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TheDivineMrsM
2 girls 4 me!
Member since 8/08 7878 total posts
Name:
Mama mama mama....
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Re: What are your thoughts on this...?
Posted by pharmcat2000
I would say "A" as long as DD understands that it is not an everyday occurrence, that she will always be able to get everything she wants...trying to teach her that we all have to live within our means, but that it is ok to splurge sometimes on something we love.
Agreed.
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| Posted 1/23/14 9:28 PM |
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