We need to be more Positive. UPDATE!

Update.
so i signed on this morning, and poof i was attacked lol. which is fine, i figured this would boil the pot alittle bit. So after reading all your posts i have to say it got me thinking, it part of this post was probably that i was having a really bad day and i took it out on the board. So i from the bottom of my heart apologize for that, for those of u that probably dont care for me now, i hope that you wont let one post view the way you see me. I am a good person and a very positive person.


Thank you
BM

for everyone!

Message edited 9/27/2008 11:35:27 AM.

Re: Hi i need to get this off my chest.

I hope I'm not one of them, but if so - please FM me.

I think that the people who have been here a while have seen SO many instances of people getting their hopes up and then being crushed. Instinctively, you want to save others from experiencing those feelings of hope and hurt - but in doing so, you often come off as sounding jaded or negative.

I really do my best to try to be supportive to everyone - patiently answering the same questions time after time, giving mountains of babydust, and novels worth of advice.

I don't think anyone is trying to break anyone's spirit - I think people are just trying to be realistic. It's not always easy. It's not always fun. It doesn't always happen right away. Nausea, cramps, spotting, twinges/pulling feelings, temperature spikes, headaches, sore throats... they don't all mean that you're pregnant - and I think some of us "veterans" like to provide an alternative option (some advice or a little reality) to the boatload of babydust that many others are providing.

I really haven't seen any attacking on here. I think this has always been a safe and supportive place to which we can all turn.

Re: We need to be more Positive.

I agree with MAM, I do not see anying negativity on here. I really think this is one of the most positive and upbeat boards around. I think that we all go through waves, ups and downs, highs and lows. It is part of the whole TTC process. I think we all do a great job of supporting each other.

Re: We need to be more Positive.

this is not suppose to start a war or get on a soap box and maybeamommy, i dont mean u. But i just had 6 FM from girls who said that they agree with me but are afraid to say it. And that some of their friends are turned off by our board. that is sad.

Re: We need to be more Positive.

Re: We need to be more Positive.

I understand what you are saying, I just didn't see it that way.

I am sorry if I have said anything unsupportive.

Re: We need to be more Positive.

Re: We need to be more Positive.

Re: We need to be more Positive.

Message edited 9/26/2008 5:53:11 PM.

Re: We need to be more Positive.

There is no way that I've seen this board as negative at all. I've been a lurker for quite some time and only recently have actively started TTC.

Every post that I have posted about has been answered with nothing but honesty, insight and helpful knowledge.

I am nothing but grateful to the girls who have been on here for 8 months +, because those are the girls who have the knowledge and honesty that a new girl is looking for.

There might be times where someone views a response as being negative in their own mind, but a post can be taken out of context VERY easily.

I'm just curious if you have any example as to when someone was being negative or hurtful towards another poster.

Re: We need to be more Positive.

Just so you know if you were feeling this way I think it is brave of you to post it, and I admire that. Some ppl will take offense just like you may take offense at some responses that seems to be the way life goes kwim?

I think that all of my experiences have been positive on this board, the good the bad and the middle ground responses are welcomed and appreciated. The collective knowledge IS BEYOND PRICELESS and such a wonderful thing. I think we should all keep up the good work.

I am happy that i have a place to come to talk about ttc - my friends and family dont' know.

I try and post only positve things - if you want to see more positivity then you have to promote it yourself not expect it from others- if you exude it - you will attract it.

Re: We need to be more Positive.

Re: We need to be more Positive.

i wanted to add one more thing - that after 7 months of trying and getting nowhere...if this board were only filled with positive comments - i may have lost my mind and been severely depressed.

to know that other girls have been where i am now and are where i'm going makes me feel so much more 'normal'. to know other peoples' struggles, to feel their pain and experience their joy makes this board what it is.

Re: We need to be more Positive.

Message edited 9/26/2008 7:55:07 PM.

Re: We need to be more Positive.

Re: We need to be more Positive.

posted twice...sorry

Message edited 9/26/2008 9:04:34 PM.

Re: We need to be more Positive.

Posted by sleepie76

Posted by BABYMAMA13

Sorry didnt mean to delete it. i need to have more of a back bone. I am venting about some of the problems arising on this board. there is alot of negativity and attacking that we all let slide. I feel alot of us me included sometimes are jaded b/c we have been TTC for a while, and we need to rise above that. Only positive information should be posted. We all have enough stress upon is with this journey and we dont need added stress. None of us are experts, even me who conceived a child and carried one is no expert. It all has to do with the right time, and the right environment. Time is the only constant. I dont like how we treat some girls who get so excited that they might be experiencing symptoms and some of us crush them by saying it might be AF just dont want u to get ur hopes up. STOP DOING THAT!! Let them have that. We all need to be positive,, supportive, and happy for all of us whether it takes them one cycle to get a BFP, or 30.

I get what you are saying, I have seen new girls post a symptom and then get jumped on about not to get excited. but I dont think anything is done in a negative way or to put someone down.
Sometimes I think "aww, let her have her moment."

It's a mixed board here, some girls that just got here and some girls for over 6 months (we are the ones that say hey, it could be AF IMO).

yes, some girls will post 1 symptom first month of trying and will be told not to get their hopes up. They may turn around with a BFP, or may be devastated by a BFN.

I personally never tell anyone not to get their hopes up, I don't want to be debbie downer. TTC is very exciting in the beginning.
I send baby dust, good luck, or tell them to test.

But I think it's good to have the knowledgeable girls on here "say don't get your hopes up".
If we told eachother "yeah, you're definately pregnant" every month some of us would have jumped off the roof by now.

I am a dumb TTCer. I dont know about temping, charting, OPKs, CM etc. the only thing I can do is send baby dust

Re: We need to be more Positive.

DH and I have just started to TTC. I signed up for this board because I started reading posts and found them very informative and they helped me learn that I wasn't alone in questioning every burp and cramp when trying to conceive. Its unfortunate that some people have found negativity on this board, I haven't noticed any, I think the girls here have been very supportive and I am very impressed by how knowledgeable everyone is.

Message edited 9/26/2008 9:19:23 PM.

Re: We need to be more Positive. UPDATE!

BUMP

Re: We need to be more Positive. UPDATE!

Ok .. This is my opinion on this... I have been on this board since 2006 not only the TTC but the infertility board with a friend of mine... Yes there is alot of knowledge here and it's always good to have cyber friends to talk to regarding things going on...especially when you dont really want your family or friends to know what is going on... But I also feel that if everything is always positive its fake.. There has to be negative feedback as well... When I was pg with DS I asked tons of questions and some were good and some bad, and I took both...

I know some of you here have been trying for a long time with no luck and some get BFP with in a 1 or 2 or trying... And yes it hurts to see some of us getting that BFP month after month and for us nothing... For those who have no luck and that have been trying for months dont get upset of mad at those who have luck...

The way I look at it is I am here on this earth healthy and if god wanted me to have children he will give them to me and if he gives me no children well then there is a reason for it...

For example my friend and I were trying the same time to conceived and I was luck enough to conceive within 3 months of trying and she had no luck.. She has done the whole IUI, Clomid, thing and still nothing.. Finally she said well there is a reason why I am not getting pg and I guess this is gods way of saying my body cant handle it and wants me to adopt...

Ok so with all that said I know I will probably get negative FM and when I post nobody will respond but This is my Opinion and we are all given that right to have one.

Yes and I also know there are some people here who just dont like to see us ttc# 2or3 here but who cares.. pregnancy is a learning process and we can all learn from others experiences...

Re: We need to be more Positive. UPDATE!

Re: We need to be more Positive. UPDATE!

Message edited 9/27/2008 12:37:17 PM.

Re: We need to be more Positive. UPDATE!

i find it incredible that a person who wants nothing but positive posts BUMPED this thread to get it on top today.




ETA: I'm not going to delete my original comment - as I stand by what i said.

I did just read your replaced comment and while I can appreciate your 'bad day' (we ALL have them)....i feel i need to comment on something...

If anyone feels people are being discriminated against for already having baby number 1: are you serious????? Someone actually recently postsed a 'hello' about how she hoped that we wouldn't mind that she was back on here after having baby number 1. EVERY SINGLE RESPONSE said, 'are you kidding, come on in, the waters' warm & welcome'. It made me sad that someone would even think that way to begin with - let alone post about it. I felt sooooooooooo much better when i saw that everyone had the same response I did...

I personally try to respond to almost every single thread we have. I feel TERRIBLE for people who post something that i can't answer or for something i have no knowledge on and have many, many times posted the 'i'm sorry i can't help you, here's a hug'. I would NEVER, EVER not respond to someone just because she already had a baby. One of my close friends, her sister in law had baby number 1 and now, 3 years later is going through H E L L to have baby number 2 (on her third IVF cycle). Do i think any less of her? NEVER EVER.

I think this is all i have to say about this. I have to be honest - this thread really, really upset me last night - to the point of not wanting to come on all weekend. It's a shame.

Message edited 9/27/2008 1:40:52 PM.

Re: We need to be more Positive. UPDATE!

FINALLY SOME DRAMA!!! I know this is a serious topic. This board really helped me alot especially after I had my 4th m/c. It was comforting to know that people were going through the same thing I was going through. Everyone on here is very supportive.

Re: We need to be more Positive. UPDATE!