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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by Redhead
Posted by Janice
Posted by Redhead
And if what you meant by your comments is that she told me that she had 3....well she knew she could trust me and that i wouldn't judge her. Which is the case
I know it wasn't you, I am sure she is not on this site, and I am sure you are a trusted friend, I am just saying, that to admit to 3 abortions is heavy, and I am shocked people are not ashamed to admit to having 3.
well when you are telling someone, a trusted friend, because you need that person support and know that you will not be judged for it....it isn't all that odd
Yeah that is the differnce, I would definitely judge. I guess that is why I find it surprising that someone would tell that kind of thing
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Posted 10/10/05 11:22 AM  |
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suvenR
designer mutt
Member since 5/05 4239 total posts
Name:
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by Redhead
Posted by suvenR
If someone wants a child VERY much and it was a planned pregnancy, but the pregnancy could kill the mother
Having an abortion in that case is STILL birth control. You are controling whether a child will be born or not. Is it for obviously health reasons...yes. But it is still birth control IMO
I don't know. Sounds like an oxymoron to me. Birth control = not wanting to get pregnant/have a child
Planning a pregnancy = not wanting to use birth control and HAVE a baby
to me, it is not logical that by terminating a planned pregnancy because of a risk of death, someone is using abortion as a form of birth control
Message edited 10/10/2005 11:23:31 AM.
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:23 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
I think rapes, medical, missed...are in an entirely different category. Not saying for or against, just things happening that you had no say in.
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:23 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by suvenR
Posted by Redhead
Posted by suvenR
If someone wants a child VERY much and it was a planned pregnancy, but the pregnancy could kill the mother
Having an abortion in that case is STILL birth control. You are controling whether a child will be born or not. Is it for obviously health reasons...yes. But it is still birth control IMO
I don't know. Sounds like an oxymoron to me. Birth control = not wanting to get pregnant/have a child
Planning a pregnancy = not wanting to use birth control and HAVE a baby
to me, it is not logical that by terminating a planned pregnancy because of a risk of death, someone is using abortion as a form of birth control
Well imo birth control is just that...a person doing somethign to CONTROL a birth which can occur in many, many ways.
IMO abortion is a form of birth control, whether it be for financial, maturity, health, criminal reasons.....you are still controling birth.
YEARS ago when there was no abortions...people couldn't decide NOT to have the baby. Abortion give the people that control.
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:25 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by Janice
I think rapes, medical, missed...are in an entirely different category. Not saying for or against, just things happening that you had no say in.
BUT that is YOUR opinion and how YOU view the "ok" reasons to have one...
WHICH is very different and IMO wrong....
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:26 AM |
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FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by suvenR
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the removal of a dead fetus also considered to be an abortion?
YES medically speaking, it is .. I had a miscarriage recently at 13 weeks, my baby died inside me... and on all the paperwork I received after the fact, the terminology listes my M/C as a "missed abortion"
BUT I DO NOT consider the removal of a dead featus, a BABY I DID very much want and had planned to have, the same thing as the abortion question Deb asked .. unless I am misinterpreting Deb's question, which I do not think I am
HENCE I did not answer the poll as "I had an abortion myself" becuase what happened to me is FAR from the same thing we are discussing here
Nor do I feel that having to make a choice to have an abortion as a way to save the mother's life the same thing either
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:26 AM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by FeliciaDP
Posted by suvenR
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the removal of a dead fetus also considered to be an abortion?
YES medically speaking, it is .. I had a miscarriage recently at 13 weeks, my baby died inside me... and on all the paperwork I received after the fact, the terminology listes my M/C as a "missed abortion"
BUT I DO NOT consider the removal of a dead featus, a BABY I DID very much want and had planned to have, the same thing as the abortion question Deb asked .. unless I am misinterpreting Deb's question, which I do not think I am
HENCE I did not answer the poll as "I had an abortion myself" becuase what happened to me is FAR from the same thing we are discussing here
Nor do I feel that having to make a choice to have an abortion as a way to save the mother's life the same thing either
Yes to flee...if you want to lump them together, you can but that was not what this thread was intended for.
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:27 AM |
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FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by Janice
I am just saying, that to admit to 3 abortions is heavy, and I am shocked people are not ashamed to admit to having 3.
I think that without knowing the circumstances, to automatically say that someone who had 3 abortions should be "ashamed" to confide this to a friend is a very harsh statement
WHY should a person have to carry that burden themselves "to the grave" IF they know they can talk to a friend and that friend will not judge and will be supportive, etc? Should they still be "ashamed?"
Message edited 10/10/2005 11:30:41 AM.
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:28 AM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by FeliciaDP
I personally know of a few people who have had abortions.. two close friends, and one of my cousins. In all cases, despite my PERSONAL feelings I supported them 100% .. none of them came to an easy decision when it came to making this choice.
IMO if you believe that abortion is something you could not do YOURSELF, that does not automatically mean that you are NOT be pro choice. I am pro-choice and support a woman's right to choose -- despite the fact that my own feelings about the topic is that it would not be the right decision for ME to make.
That said.. when you speak of popularity, are you referring to the fact that it seems that abortion is become more like a substitiute for "birth control" .. meaning the rise in multiple abortions per person is troubling IMO. With the abortion pill and the like , its easier today to get an abortion than before.. so it does worry me that rather than trying to find an effective plan of Birth Control, *some* people are reckless and will continue to abort as a form of "Birth Control" so to speak
SAME HERE!!
I know 1 friend who had one when we were seniors in HS.
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:31 AM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
I never had one. My cousin used to work as a social worker and she said it was amazing how many women who were on welfare used this as their form of birth control. She asked one why and she said that it was free (due to medical coverage) while birth control wasn't. I thought that was a sad commentary on our medical system.
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:31 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by FeliciaDP
Posted by Janice
I am just saying, that to admit to 3 abortions is heavy, and I am shocked people are not ashamed to admit to having 3.
I think that without knowing the circumstances, to automatically say that someone who had 3 abortions should be "ashamed" to confide this to a friend is a very harsh statement
WHY should a person have to carry that burden themselves "to the grave" IF they know they can talk to a friend and that friend will not judge and will be supportive, etc? Should they still be "ashamed?"
I understand what you are saying, I am just going along with this topic, of the popularity of abortions and the openess. I am shocked that someone would admit this. I personally think I would feel shame, but not all may, as this thread is showing. just surprised.
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:33 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by sarahsmommy
I never had one. My cousin used to work as a social worker and she said it was amazing how many women who were on welfare used this as their form of birth control. She asked one why and she said that it was free (due to medical coverage) while birth control wasn't. I thought that was a sad commentary on our medical system.
since when are abortions FREE?
I don't know anyone who didn't have to pay quite a large sum of money to have one. Birth control pills are certainly is covered under my plan!
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:33 AM |
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suvenR
designer mutt
Member since 5/05 4239 total posts
Name:
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by Redhead
Well imo birth control is just that...a person doing somethign to CONTROL a birth which can occur in many, many ways.
IMO abortion is a form of birth control, whether it be for financial, maturity, health, criminal reasons.....you are still controling birth.
YEARS ago when there was no abortions...people couldn't decide NOT to have the baby. Abortion give the people that control.
But, years ago, abortion was the procedure that was used to remove a dead fetus. And, then someone stumbled across the idea that the same procedure could be used to terminate a viable fetus.
So, no, abortion NOT always a form of birth control.
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:34 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by Redhead
Posted by Janice
I think rapes, medical, missed...are in an entirely different category. Not saying for or against, just things happening that you had no say in.
BUT that is YOUR opinion and how YOU view the "ok" reasons to have one...
WHICH is very different and IMO wrong....
I did not say they were ok. I think we were just getting off course. It was about the popularity, I don't think Deb meant, medical, rape, and missed.
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:34 AM |
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suvenR
designer mutt
Member since 5/05 4239 total posts
Name:
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by Redhead
Posted by sarahsmommy
I never had one. My cousin used to work as a social worker and she said it was amazing how many women who were on welfare used this as their form of birth control. She asked one why and she said that it was free (due to medical coverage) while birth control wasn't. I thought that was a sad commentary on our medical system.
since when are abortions FREE?
I don't know anyone who didn't have to pay quite a large sum of money to have one. Birth control pills are certainly is covered under my plan!
I do remember this. I did a paper in high school about this topic. There was a time when it was free to have an abortion, but birth control pills were 
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:35 AM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by Redhead
Posted by sarahsmommy
I never had one. My cousin used to work as a social worker and she said it was amazing how many women who were on welfare used this as their form of birth control. She asked one why and she said that it was free (due to medical coverage) while birth control wasn't. I thought that was a sad commentary on our medical system.
since when are abortions FREE?
I don't know anyone who didn't have to pay quite a large sum of money to have one. Birth control pills are certainly is covered under my plan!
At least back when my cousin was in social work, there were free clinics for welfare clients, but birth control pills were not covered. Maybe things have changed since then, but it wasn't that long ago.
ETA: Many health plans don't cover birth control pills. I've had 2 different plans that don't. I currently have to pay for my birth control pills, so my doctor gives me a bunch of samples to help offset the cost each year.
Message edited 10/10/2005 11:36:57 AM.
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:35 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by Janice
I understand what you are saying, I am just going along with this topic, of the popularity of abortions and the openess. I am shocked that someone would admit this. I personally think I would feel shame, but not all may, as this thread is showing. just surprised.
janice...my friend was ashamed. But she knew i would be there to support her and love her. And that was MORE important to her than humility
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:35 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
I think the world is changing a lot.
I'm 29 and when I was a teenager, safe sex was EXTREMELY important. It was the end of the 80s/early 90's and people were petrified of getting AIDS. Even the biggest players I knew all practiced safe sex.
I don't think there is such an emphasis on it anymore. In the US, there is not much talk of people dying with AIDS. I don't think people are as careful anymore. Even in the gay community, whcih used to be 99% used protection, my best friend (who is a gay male) says that kids today don't use any protection.
As for judging someone who has had an abortion or more than one, I don't judge anyone on this. I would be concerned for her health. (pregnancy is one thing, STD's- another). Accidents do happen, but a pattern of unsafe sexual behavior is something else. People need to protect themselves. Period.
ETA: Good for you Redhead!
It is better that someone who has had 3 abortions have people they can talk to. Obviously there are some issues, and each person may need someone to talk to. Its so much better to feel like you can trust people, then to hold this all in. IMO, feeling so ashamed that you can't share something like this is more self destructive than anything else.
Message edited 10/10/2005 11:39:10 AM.
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:37 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by Redhead
Posted by Janice
I understand what you are saying, I am just going along with this topic, of the popularity of abortions and the openess. I am shocked that someone would admit this. I personally think I would feel shame, but not all may, as this thread is showing. just surprised.
janice...my friend was ashamed. But she knew i would be there to support her and love her. And that was MORE important to her than humility
gotcha.
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:37 AM |
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Mrs-Boop
My Babies
Member since 5/05 4956 total posts
Name:
Jaime
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
I know a bunch of people that have had them. One friend had so many, they told her that she could never have another one, and if she did, she would Never be able to have kids when she wanted them. Needless to say, she never had another one, but last I spoke to her she had two kids by two different fathers and another was on the way. I don't talk to her any more, but man, from what I heard, she should not have any kids.
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:38 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by suvenR
Posted by Redhead
Well imo birth control is just that...a person doing somethign to CONTROL a birth which can occur in many, many ways.
IMO abortion is a form of birth control, whether it be for financial, maturity, health, criminal reasons.....you are still controling birth.
YEARS ago when there was no abortions...people couldn't decide NOT to have the baby. Abortion give the people that control.
But, years ago, abortion was the procedure that was used to remove a dead fetus. And, then someone stumbled across the idea that the same procedure could be used to terminate a viable fetus.
So, no, abortion NOT always a form of birth control.
I guess i will have to just agree to disagree 
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:39 AM |
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suvenR
designer mutt
Member since 5/05 4239 total posts
Name:
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
Posted by Redhead
I guess i will have to just agree to disagree
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:43 AM |
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Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
I think that this subject is verrry touchy b/c of all the different scenarios but the one thing that pi$$es me off is when pple state that "they would NEVER get an abortion"... i truly think in ANY situation you never know what you would TRULY do unless faced with the situation... to say ud never get an abortion cause ur are against it, i am willing to bet money that in CERTAIN CASES under CERTAIN SITUATIONS when faced with a situation THESE NEVERS might change..
as for my own personal opinion i def. am for a womans right to choose, obviously medical conditiions, and rape are situatiosn that i can see a woman having an abortion, i also think that someone who accidently get pregnant while using other forms of bc and choose an abortion cause they are not prepared for the situation. well...i would rather a woman abort a fetus then live in a box with their child.. jmo...
the only thing i am totally against are women who dont use condoms, or the pill and continue to get preggo and just have abortion after abortion after abortion as a way of dealing with pregnancy..USE A F*CKING CONDOM
ETA: i think its very harsh to judge anyone on ANYTHING abortion or any subject unless you have "walked a mile in there shoes"
Message edited 10/10/2005 11:48:44 AM.
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:44 AM |
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babyhopes
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/05 733 total posts
Name:
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
I know MANY people that have had either one...or up to 4.
Would I personally have one or did I, no? ...I've been lucky to never have to be in that boat to decide.
-and never say never....
As per the friends who have had then...who am I to judge? The only person I DO judge is an old friend that was young and stupid...and has had 4 (I'm SURE it is more than that at this point in her life). She would use abortions as a trap...when it didn't work it was a bc.
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:54 AM |
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oakslady
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 969 total posts
Name:
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Re: Very touchy/sensative/personal Poll
personally i have never had one but my siter had 2 and my friends have collectively had 6
personally i dont feel one way or another about it because it doenst really affect me
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| Posted 10/10/05 11:57 AM |
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