UGH I despise laziness.

Situation: Permanant sub hirings occur on October 1st. Its now September 18th, and you haven't had a paying job since June.

Would you be able to just SIT AROUND all day and wait for October 1st to come along? I mean, you're contributing nothing to society while laying in your bed all day watching Boy Meets World reruns and eating frozen pizza, right? And you're bloating. I see this, can't YOU see this? If you CAN see this, why don't you care?!?!?!

I can't understand how someone that was SO responsible and so "on the ball" 6 months ago can turn into a lazy, unmotivated, selfish butthead (for lack of a better "PG rated" word) virtually overnight. He wouldn't even come to the Bridal show with me yesterday because he "HAD to stay home and watch the Giants".

I could NEVER do that. I would've taken a job at a grocery store before I sat around doing nothing all day.

After 7 years together, I feel like I don't even know who this is, and it is making me crazy.

I tried to say "Lets go to the San Gennaro feast before tonight's Mets game...it'll be fun "....and of course, he is still sleeping, and says that he doesn't want to. No reasons, just "I don't feel like it." This can't even be a money concern, because the Mets game won't cost us a thing because the tix were a gift (and we won't be alone b/c his parents are going too)...the feast could've given us some time together out of the house for a small amount of money. (Train is $20, lunch specials in Little Italy are dirt cheap, etc.)

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS

Message edited 9/18/2006 10:06:06 AM.

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

It sounds like he is depressed

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

do you think maybe he/she are suffering from depression?

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

well I'M becoming depressed trying to constantly get him moving.

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

You have to be more compassionate. It is VERY hard for a man to be un-employed, especially one who has worked very hard in the past. It is huge blow to their ego. He will snap out of it, but for now, try and understand.

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

sounds like someone needs a good kick in the azz....

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

Having trouble finding a job can be very defeating and definitely cause some depression.

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

Posted by KristenNYC

You have to be more compassionate. It is VERY hard for a man to be un-employed, especially one who has worked very hard in the past. It is huge blow to their ego. He will snap out of it, but for now, try and understand.

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

Posted by Elbee

It sounds like he is depressed

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

he's just in a funk - FH was that way before he got a job too.

as soon as he gets a job, he will be back to his normal self. dont worry, hang in there!

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

Before my DH got his current job, he was in such a state of depression after graduation. I had started a "career" and he was unable to find work in the field he graduated in.
I know it is difficult, but try to understand where he is right now. He spent at aleast 4 years working towards a goal that he can't get to just yet.

Give him a hug and tell him you will be there for him no matter what but that him not working AT ALL is taking a toll on you.

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

I can understand how he feels. He must be embarrassed and depressed. Things will get better soon I promise!

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

Posted by CaptainCharisma424

Posted by KristenNYC

You have to be more compassionate. It is VERY hard for a man to be un-employed, especially one who has worked very hard in the past. It is huge blow to their ego. He will snap out of it, but for now, try and understand.

yeah nic, his ego is hurting

you have to deal at the moment

i know it sux

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

A couple of months ago, I tried stepping back and watching what he'd do if *I* wasn't the one doing everything...what do you know, nothing got done.

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

Posted by Shorty

Posted by CaptainCharisma424

Posted by KristenNYC

You have to be more compassionate. It is VERY hard for a man to be un-employed, especially one who has worked very hard in the past. It is huge blow to their ego. He will snap out of it, but for now, try and understand.

yeah nic, his ego is hurting

you have to deal at the moment

i know it sux

For 5 months, I've done nothing but create and revise, ship and email HIS resume. He's had no part of it. He was sleeping while I was printing and stuffing, addressing and mailing.

Its one thing to have a hurting ego, but its another thing to SIT BACK AND TAKE LIFE AS IT COMES WITHOUT MAKING A SINGLE EFFORT TO BETTER IT.

What the heck can I do to fix this?
I don't like not being able to fix things

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

have you spoken to him about the issue?

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

I always feel like the less I have going on the lazier I become.....

It's hard to stay motivated when you have all the time in the world to get nothing done. It's the worst feeling in the world and a hard one to break out of. I am sure as soon as he gets a steady job, he will be back to his old self.....

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

For a man being unemployed is the worst. They get into a funk and it's very difficult to get out of it. It's a form of depression but I don't think it's clinical.

Try to be more compassionate as hard as that may seem. Give him encouragement instead of criticism.

I know this is hard, but this situation will resolve as soon as he is working again.

You should have a discussion with him about how it's affecting your relationship.

There are times like this in everybody's life. This will get better.

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

I agree with everyone else it sounds like a classic case of depression.

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

Nic- Unfortunately you can't fix the situation. The best thing you can do is just be there for him and listen to him and support him. I know you're upset and this is affecting you, but he needs your support. Have you talked to him calmly without yelling or blaming about how you feel?

Message edited 9/18/2006 10:50:00 AM.

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

After the Bridal show last night, we went out....he fought with me because I was having a good time talking to people and he wanted to go home.

Who does that

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

Posted by hmpena



Nic- Unfortunately you can't fix the situation. The best thing you can do is just be there for him and listen to him and support him. I know you're upset and this is affecting you, but he needs your support. Have you talked to him calmly without yelling or blaming about how you feel?

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

Posted by Shorty

After the Bridal show last night, we went out....he fought with me because I was having a good time talking to people and he wanted to go home.

Who does that

Re: UGH I despise laziness.

To anyone that's been here before....is there anything I can do?

Re: UGH I despise laziness.