Twist on using a name someone already has.

(I think this might be a parenting post)

I always see posts on here about people picking names for their children, and battling with the decision of using a name that either another family member named their child. Then there are the people who had their child's name used and it is a friend or family member.

Usually there are mixed responses about how no one owns that child's name etc., and then some people say if you love the name use it, and even those who say, why not just pick another name.

Many times I've voiced my frustration on those posts that my cousin used my DS's name to name their baby-before their child was born. Their family questioned them and urged them to use another name. I came to terms with it (kind of) because what am I going to do about it really. My frustration was that it took me SO LONG to think of a name that wasn't someone else's that I knew. Or sounded funny. Or I hated. Their family was kind of 'why would you do that if it is her kid's name' and their response was, "We didn't know." Yeah, ok, right.

Well, this weekend, in an innocent conversation with my mom, she mentioned they have two kids now. I found out later that she had been avoiding the conversation and slipped. I asked what the baby's name was. No answer. I asked again, and my mom looked at me dead in the eye and said THE SAME NAME AS MY DD !!!!!!!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH THEM???!!!!???? They even 'picked' out this name AGAIN before their baby was born. Our family once again said, "What is wrong with you, that is J's baby's name!!!!" Their claim, "Well, that is her family and this is ours, and we like how the names go together."

Is it me? Am I crazy? PICK YOUR OWN FREAKING NAMES!!!!! It's not even a compliment at this point, it's annoying. All the trouble I put into my kids names and a family member steals them. Yes, steals.

My family has been avoiding telling me because even they are pissed.

At this point, I've told my mother that when this 3rd baby is born, tell them that the baby's name is something totally different. Like Jehoshaphat.

Please tell me I'm not the only one that would be ticked off. This can't be normal for anyone to do, especially to a family member.



Thanks for letting me vent.

Message edited 12/10/2012 9:35:35 AM.

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

I would be super annoyed and utterly baffled.

I understand the first naming. Yes, bothersome, but possibly understandable. Lots of people love the same names, it just happened you picked the same one... so be it. But if they already knew they had one child with a shared name, why would they pick the second shared name as well?

If I was them, I would not be able to do that. That can not just be a coincidence. Well, they look silly for naming their kids after your kids. Do they spell these names identically too? Very weird.

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

i would be annoyed too. very strange!!!

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

Twist on using a name someone already has.

In my culture, we name our children after our parents (babys grandparents). So my son has the same name as his cousin. It just happens so often and no one even thinks twice about it since it's an honoring thing.
But in your case, where you thought of both of your DC names out of the blue, then yea, I would be annoyed. But since you had your DC first, SHE looks like the "weird" one!!

Edit for spelling

Message edited 12/10/2012 9:48:25 AM.

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

I don't know, it depends. I would probably say something to them. It's very strange, unless they are family names.

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

Twist on using a name someone already has.

I'm kind of that other person. My cousin (male) hass three kids...ages 22, 20 and 15. His 15 year old is Julianna and my 15 month-old is Giuliana named for dh's grandmother. His 20 year old is Joseph after his father in law and my son who will be here in five weeks will be Joseph after my dh.nobody was upset about me using the same names. Either way theses were going to be my children's names. We have huge families and with 40+ first cousins and 85+ second cousins, most names are used more than once.

Message edited 12/10/2012 9:49:44 AM.

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

I think it is very strange.

However, it doesn't sound like you guys are very close (i.e. since you just found out she had a second baby) so I guess it shouldn't matter too much. Do you see them often?

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

I think that is REALLY weird. Theres really not much you can do about it like you said. Possibly keep baby#3's name a secret in case they decide to have another. OR have your family refer to the baby as something strange, see if they bite and then be like April Fools!

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

Posted by neener1211

Yes, my kids names have nothing to do with anyone in our families and I specifically pick them out so that I know no one with the names, friends or family, or even past acquaintances. They are unique to our family (or at least they were unique).

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

Posted by DRMom

I think that is REALLY weird. Theres really not much you can do about it like you said. Possibly keep baby#3's name a secret in case they decide to have another. OR have your family refer to the baby as something strange, see if they bite and then be like April Fools!

Twist on using a name someone already has.

This is actually really strange and creepy...

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

Send them an email congratulating them on the birth of their 2nd baby and compliment them on the awesome name choice. Then say that you wanted to tell them your 3rd baby's name early, so you can save them the trouble of having to think of another name when the time comes for them!

seriously, what a joke. I mean, i feel bad for you and would absolutely be annoyed if i was in your same situation. But at least you don't see them often and the rest of the family knows they're idiots for doing that. One time is coincidence, any more than that is just weird!

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

Ok, that is just weird. There is no way I'd name my kids the same exact names as my cousins or other close family member.

There are literally thousands of names to choose from, why choose the same ones as you?!?!?

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

Twist on using a name someone already has.

If you are not close and see them maybe at major holiday events or something, it wouldn't bother me. I'd take it as a compliment and wouldn't do it myself - but I don't think I'd be angry. Miffed - I would be miffed.

If like someone close to you did it - someone you see often or talk to often... Yeah, I'd wonder what is wrong with them.

I totally get wanting a special name. I tried to find two names that were kind of uncommon. Just know that a name is just that, a name. Try to remember that your kids are special for other reasons far greater than a name, u know? :)

But I wouldn't tell u not to be annoyed or belittle your feelings. They are your own.

Twist on using a name someone already has.

It's strange but if you didn't know she was pregnant and had a baby, who really cares?? You obviously don't have a relationship with her.

Maybe she happened to like the same names as you. Are their names super uncommon?? I wouldn't let the name of a cousins baby I wasn't close with dictate my children's names. In fact, 2 of my cousins (who are also cousins) have babies named the same. My BIL and his cousin have the same name. Nobody seems to care.

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

That would drive me nuts.
I probably would never speak to them again and I would probably tell them off.

1 kid? Maybe?
2 kids? That's nuts.

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

That's very strange and I'd be pissed!
Keep baby #3's name a secret. Tell your family to tell them a completely different name.

Re: Twist on using a name someone already has.

If its someone you don't see regularly, aren't close to, who cares?

You don't own the names, you obviously have similar tastes.