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IAMMRSBROWN
3 under 2!!!
Member since 10/10 2476 total posts
Name:
Carey
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Posted by prunepie
if zero children were coming i would be annoyed but not offended.
if only her families children are invited...then there will be issues!!!
ITA
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Posted 3/8/12 8:21 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
mooshyboo
So Blessed!
Member since 11/07 6297 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
I would be very upset.
We have a wedding for my husbands cousin this year ~ my ds will be 4 (he is not invited) my newborn is invited. I was like how can I take his sister and tell my son your not invited. This is not only for us they are doing the same for my hubby's brother and his kids. 
At my wedding we initially weren't having kids but we had people come to us and ask and if they could bring them if they could not make the wedding because they couldn't get a sitter then the kids were welcome. I had my reception on a boat and I was just afraid if the parents didn't pay attention I didn't want any kids going overboard!
Message edited 3/8/2012 9:45:54 AM.
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| Posted 3/8/12 8:30 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
I wouldn't be offended at all. I had a kids free wedding and have to travel to a kids free weddign this summer without my son. THe only kids allowed are the ones int heceremony. I had the same rule at my wedding.
My son will stay with my MIL. If he couldn't then I would not go to the wedding. THe bride and groom amke the rules for their own wedding just like we all were able to do at our own and their wishes should be respected.
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| Posted 3/8/12 8:34 AM |
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MrsPanuch
LIF Infant
Member since 12/11 136 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
IMO and i know it is your brother, BUT i dont think i would attend the wedding. i agree with PPs that if there were NO kids allowed i would understand. but the fact that HER nephews are going to be there but HIS nephew cant is just rediculous. I really dont think i would go.
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| Posted 3/8/12 8:43 AM |
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OrganicMama
So in love with my little man!
Member since 6/08 5172 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Posted by BlessedMomma
Honestly I would be completely insulted and personally I wouldnt even go to his wedding...
What is his reasoning why her nephews are allowed but his isnt?
I would definately talk to my brother about it and let him know that hes offended me and my family.
I did not have children at my wedding, but I had mine and my husbands nieces and nephews there regardless of age and there were babies there. I didnt invite ANY guests with children, but our family... I mean ITS FAMILY! I WANTED my niece and nephews to share that day with me, it was one of the most important days of my life...
Im sorry your brother is wrong... 
ITA word for word. I would not go.
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| Posted 3/8/12 8:43 AM |
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Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Eileen
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Posted by WhatNow
I wouldn't be offended if it was a kids-free wedding. I would understand. However, since her 2 nephews are coming I would be very much offended, indeed! 
THIS.
I actually don't believe children belong at weddings (a battle I lost at my own) so it definitely wouldn't bother me if he wasn't invited. However, if HER nephews were invited, we'd be having a talk!
All that said, if I were you I'd bring the baby to the destination wedding (I'm envisioning caribbean resort or something) and arrange for childcare for the actual wedding itself.
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| Posted 3/8/12 8:52 AM |
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Lina
My angel is finally here
Member since 5/10 2559 total posts
Name:
Lindsay
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Posted by WhatNow
I wouldn't be offended if it was a kids-free wedding. I would understand. However, since her 2 nephews are coming I would be very much offended, indeed!
ITA
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| Posted 3/8/12 8:59 AM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
For a destination wedding, yes I'd be offended. For a wedding here, no I would not be offended.
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| Posted 3/8/12 9:11 AM |
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2boys4me
He's coming soon!
Member since 4/10 4260 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Posted by alli3131
I wouldn't be offended at all. I had a kids free wedding and have to travel to a kids free weddign this summer without my son. THe only kids allowed are the ones int heceremony. I had the same rule at my wedding.
My son will stay with my MIL. If he couldn't then I would not go to the wedding. THe bride and groom amke the rules for their own wedding just like we all were able to do at our own and their wishes should be respected.
Did you have a destination wedding though? And it's ONE additional kid, that belongs to his sister that will be pretty little to be left alone for that amount of time. What if she is breastfeeding, that's not really possible then. And even if she isn't, it's crap. I think it's pretty balls to say "ok pay for the plane ticket, the accommodations, your outfits, the gifts, and now you have to pay for daycare or make arrangements for your child, my nephew, because he isn't coming, and deal with being alone for him for that length of time"
I can see not wanting a whole slew of kids at your wedding, but one additional child can't be accommodated after all your asking?
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| Posted 3/8/12 9:16 AM |
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PrettyPeonies
GAW my baby boy <3
Member since 8/10 3874 total posts
Name:
Pino
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
I'm sorry, this is tough situation. I agree w/the majority of the ladies that this is unfair. I would discuss it w/your brother and explain how it makes you feel. I would also explain how financially difficult this will be for you guys. I suggest you allow your brother to fully explain their reasoning behind this decision.
DH & I had a no kids wedding too. The only exceptions were my 2 nephews & niece that were in the wedding party and my step sisters 2 sons. There was no possible way that I could tell my father's wife who has been in my life since I was born that her other 2 Grandchildren werent invited to my wedding, that would be cruel.
If this is your brother's 1st nephew/niece maybe whats going on here is that he isnt used to taking this precious little guy into account for life choices yet. Def talk about it w/him. I hope it goes well!!
Good Luck!
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| Posted 3/8/12 9:17 AM |
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jessw
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/11 512 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Posted by cds58019
Posted by prunepie
if zero children were coming i would be annoyed but not offended.
if only her families children are invited...then there will be issues!!!
This!
Ditto
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| Posted 3/8/12 9:18 AM |
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shiv
Twinsanity!!
Member since 5/07 4747 total posts
Name:
Shiv
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Yes I would be very offended. But they can't stop you from taking your son on the trip- if they don't want him at the wedding then maybe you can get a sitter from the hotel to watch him and then check on him periodically throughout the reception. This is what I would do- your whole family is going to the wedding, who would you leave your child with for all that time? That's crazy!!
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| Posted 3/8/12 9:25 AM |
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WorkinMom324
LIF Infant
Member since 7/10 171 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Listen, your brother & his fiance do not have kids and do not know what it's like - So, I would just say "Well, I have to bring my son, you know, your ONLY nephew, because he is a baby and I am NOT leaving him at home!" Get your parents and other family members to back you and just go for it. If they still protest, then say "Well, then, you are not as family-oriented as I thought! and Also, for my son's first birthday party, I am only having family, so your fiance is not invited since she is not married into the family yet." 
Message edited 3/8/2012 9:33:59 AM.
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| Posted 3/8/12 9:33 AM |
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wo0shply
LIF Adult
Member since 11/08 2702 total posts
Name:
Tass
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
I would be offended. This is your brother not your third cousin or something.
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| Posted 3/8/12 9:35 AM |
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KartveliT
...
Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
yes I would be offended and honestly I find it rude and strange when people send out wedding invitations saying no kids. I just never understood this and it's not something I ever heard of until I came to this country. How do you tell people -whether family or not- that there are no kids allowed at the wedding? Yes if I - a parent - decides to not bring my kid to a wedding is one thing, but for someone to invite me to a wedding and tell me there are no kids allowed is just crazy to me. Maybe it's just me but I just don't get it. I would never go to a wedding where my kid is not invited, ESPECIALLY if it's a family .
again I know most people don't think there is anything wrong with it , but I just think it's rude , JMHO .
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| Posted 3/8/12 9:38 AM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
I would be offended purely because there will be kids there.
I would say under the circumstances even though it really upsets you but you will not be able to attend. Totally selfish on the wedding couples part.
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| Posted 3/8/12 9:42 AM |
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MRsFaTThead
NY GIRL IN TEXAS
Member since 6/10 5483 total posts
Name:
WHO GIVES A POO WHO GIVES A FUDGE !!
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
I would be super pissed about this
I'm sure the family you would trust to leave your baby with for 4 days will be at this wedding, right? So who do they think you will leave your LO with
Sounds like you need to have a serious family meeting
What does your Dh say about all of this?
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| Posted 3/8/12 9:43 AM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
I would be really hurt. My brother and his fw are going to have my two girls as flower girls at their wedding and my youngest won't even be 1. I personally would not be able to leave my dc for any over might trip at this age! My brother in law is getting married in st Lucia next year and I don't know if my kids will be invited. If they aren't my dh will be going by himself. I'm not leaving them for a couple of days. I would make myself nuts with worry and I wouldn't enjoy myself. Can you talk to your brother and explain how you feel? Maybe he can make an exception.
Message edited 3/8/2012 9:46:49 AM.
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| Posted 3/8/12 9:46 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Posted by 2boys4me
Posted by alli3131
I wouldn't be offended at all. I had a kids free wedding and have to travel to a kids free weddign this summer without my son. THe only kids allowed are the ones int heceremony. I had the same rule at my wedding.
My son will stay with my MIL. If he couldn't then I would not go to the wedding. THe bride and groom amke the rules for their own wedding just like we all were able to do at our own and their wishes should be respected.
Did you have a destination wedding though? And it's ONE additional kid, that belongs to his sister that will be pretty little to be left alone for that amount of time. What if she is breastfeeding, that's not really possible then. And even if she isn't, it's crap. I think it's pretty balls to say "ok pay for the plane ticket, the accommodations, your outfits, the gifts, and now you have to pay for daycare or make arrangements for your child, my nephew, because he isn't coming, and deal with being alone for him for that length of time"
I can see not wanting a whole slew of kids at your wedding, but one additional child can't be accommodated after all your asking?
Did I have a destination wedding not per se but not a single relative on my side of the family was local so they all had to travel. I had very close family members not coem because there were no kids allowed. I understood that they would not be able to make it. I knew that when I decided on the rule.
I think the OP has the option of not going. Yers it stinks because it is her brother but there are options.
But then again I do not get mad at many things or offended. I just realize I have to make the decsion for what is best for me and my family and if it means missign a wedding or leavign my child home I make that decision.
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| Posted 3/8/12 10:02 AM |
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BBin2012
Full heart!
Member since 8/11 1835 total posts
Name:
Ka
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Posted by mamabear
Well, I don't think it is fair to say no kids when you are having a destination wedding. It's one thing to leave your kid with a sitter for a few hours. It is totally different to expect you to leave your kid with a sitter for a few days! I wouldn't be comfortable with that. I think the fact that there will be children from her side makes it even more offensive/unfair. Talk to your brother. be honest. see what he is thinking, what he expects, and let him know what would work for you. worst case, maybe you can bring your son and have a sitter or your dh watch him for a few hours, and then leave the wedding early.
I agree with this as well. I would still bring my child on the trip and make an appearance at the wedding. YOUR family comes first!
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| Posted 3/8/12 10:05 AM |
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BBin2012
Full heart!
Member since 8/11 1835 total posts
Name:
Ka
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Also to add....I couldn't imagine my nieces and nephews NOT having been at my wedding...we had so many nice memories taking pics and having a great time.
I hope your brother comes to his senses!!
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| Posted 3/8/12 10:14 AM |
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Kels78
LIF Infant
Member since 7/10 110 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Posted by prunepie
if zero children were coming i would be annoyed but not offended.
if only her families children are invited...then there will be issues!!!
I agree. What do her nephews get to be there? Can your child come and you find a local sitter? Or DH stays back with the baby at the hotel?
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| Posted 3/8/12 10:24 AM |
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lbelle821
Arghhhhh
Member since 2/06 5285 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Posted by WhatNow
I wouldn't be offended if it was a kids-free wedding. I would understand. However, since her 2 nephews are coming I would be very much offended, indeed!
ITA! Point number one is really the one that bothers me.
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| Posted 3/8/12 12:15 PM |
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HoneymoonBaby
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/11 635 total posts
Name:
CJ
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
For a destination wedding, I would be offended. Being that it is your brother and a destination wedding...why would they expect you to leave your baby with someone else??
If it were for a wedding here, then no....
When I got married, even though we didn't invite children, we had people calling and putting us on the spot to see if it would be okay if they could bring their babies, toddlers, etc... we caved because I was too sissy to say no.... maybe that's what happened with the nephews?
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| Posted 3/8/12 12:31 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Livid doesn't even begin to describe how I would feel!! I think its AWFUL!!
And in my family, children are always welcome at the weddings. I never get why people get so weird about that. They have a blast, dance the whole night and they never take away from the wedding like a lot of people fear..
Anyway, i just don't understand their mentality. ESPECIALLY since the other kids are included, it makes it that much worse!! UGH. If my child were not welcome (in this situation) i would NOT be going.
If if were a LOCAL, child-free wedding it wouldn't be an issue (honestly we never took our kids when they were really little because we just wanted to enjoy an adult night out) but its a destination wedding, and sure as hell i'd be bringing my son!!!
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| Posted 3/8/12 12:38 PM |
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