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bettybcafe
Big brother in the making
Member since 7/07 8611 total posts
Name:
M
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Thanks everyone..
Thank you to everyone who responded to this post and for your advice and kind words 
Message edited 3/8/2012 8:43:31 PM.
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Posted 3/7/12 10:04 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Melbernai
I am a lucky Momma!
Member since 7/05 15652 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
You know what? Yes, I would probably be offended by this.
I am one of those Moms who doesn't like leaving her children for extended amounts of time.
Even if I could get a close relative to watch them...several days at a time, I just don't like it at this point. I like to be around my kids. I miss them when I am away from them for too long.
I don't know how I'd feel about having to leave them for 4 days.
If left with no other options I'd probably have to see if I could bring along someone who could watch my child during the wedding itself, but the child would still be WITH me for the 4 days, just maybe not at the wedding reception.
Which would be expensive I'm sure --- to have to pay for another person's flight/hotel/etc....but it's the only option I'd feel comfortable with.
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| Posted 3/7/12 10:14 PM |
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Atherley
So in Love with my DS
Member since 1/11 1122 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
I would be offended. If her nephews can gp why can't your son? I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my baby for 4 days while I went away.
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| Posted 3/7/12 10:31 PM |
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Alexandra17
Keep It Positive
Member since 4/09 6262 total posts
Name:
Alexandra (ali)
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
I would be really offended!
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| Posted 3/7/12 10:32 PM |
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gottaluvmusik
Just the 4 of us
Member since 12/06 3554 total posts
Name:
Andrea
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
I would completely be upset and offended by this! For destination weddings how can you expect anyone to find a sitter and pay for the wedding. Also you are FAMILY!
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| Posted 3/7/12 10:33 PM |
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WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
I wouldn't be offended if it was a kids-free wedding. I would understand. However, since her 2 nephews are coming I would be very much offended, indeed! 
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| Posted 3/7/12 10:34 PM |
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prunepie
LIF Adult
Member since 7/06 4357 total posts
Name:
jennifer
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
if zero children were coming i would be annoyed but not offended.
if only her families children are invited...then there will be issues!!!
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| Posted 3/7/12 10:40 PM |
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YourMama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 913 total posts
Name:
YourMama
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Yes, I would be offended. They probably are letting the 4 year old nephews come because they're older but I still think it's extremely unfair, especially since it's a destination wedding!
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| Posted 3/7/12 10:42 PM |
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cds58019
The loves of my life :)
Member since 6/08 4276 total posts
Name:
Candice
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Posted by prunepie
if zero children were coming i would be annoyed but not offended.
if only her families children are invited...then there will be issues!!!
This!
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| Posted 3/7/12 10:43 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
I would be livid especially bc HER nieces and nephews are welcome
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| Posted 3/7/12 10:43 PM |
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bettybcafe
Big brother in the making
Member since 7/07 8611 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Thank you so much ladies. I just wanted to make sure I wasnt overreacting over this. I was so sad about this, almost to tears. I am very close with my brother and I think thats why it hurt even more and the fact that this is the first grandchild/nephew in the family I am even more upset that they told us this. 
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| Posted 3/7/12 10:49 PM |
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FergieK
Loving my girls
Member since 7/09 2533 total posts
Name:
Fergie
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
I would be insulted. That's a lot to ask you to leave your son home and rude to boot
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| Posted 3/7/12 10:49 PM |
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hopingforbaby
We made a wish & you came true
Member since 2/10 2695 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Posted by WhatNow
I wouldn't be offended if it was a kids-free wedding. I would understand. However, since her 2 nephews are coming I would be very much offended, indeed!
Agreed. What is the rationale for allowing her nephews to be there but not his? Four is still a kid last time I checked. If they were like 16 it might be a different story....
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| Posted 3/7/12 10:52 PM |
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bettybcafe
Big brother in the making
Member since 7/07 8611 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Posted by hopingforbaby
Posted by WhatNow
I wouldn't be offended if it was a kids-free wedding. I would understand. However, since her 2 nephews are coming I would be very much offended, indeed!
Agreed. What is the rationale for allowing her nephews to be there but not his? Four is still a kid last time I checked. If they were like 16 it might be a different story....
Her nephews will be the ring bearers.. but its still two small children who will be at the wedding..what is one more? especially if its HIS nephew? I would understand him saying no to a friends child but saying no to his sister? It just hurts...
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| Posted 3/7/12 10:57 PM |
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toniV
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/11 586 total posts
Name:
T
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Posted by WhatNow
I wouldn't be offended if it was a kids-free wedding. I would understand. However, since her 2 nephews are coming I would be very much offended, indeed!
THIS! If there were no kids that would be 1 thing, but how come her sister's kids can come and your son can't?? Maybe you could talk to your brother privately about it?
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| Posted 3/7/12 11:23 PM |
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hopingforbaby
We made a wish & you came true
Member since 2/10 2695 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Yeah I'm with you. I'd be very upset. In this case your LO should definitely be included if her nephews are.
Message edited 3/7/2012 11:39:28 PM.
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| Posted 3/7/12 11:37 PM |
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mamabear
LIF Adult
Member since 3/08 4539 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Well, I don't think it is fair to say no kids when you are having a destination wedding. It's one thing to leave your kid with a sitter for a few hours. It is totally different to expect you to leave your kid with a sitter for a few days! I wouldn't be comfortable with that. I think the fact that there will be children from her side makes it even more offensive/unfair. Talk to your brother. be honest. see what he is thinking, what he expects, and let him know what would work for you. worst case, maybe you can bring your son and have a sitter or your dh watch him for a few hours, and then leave the wedding early.
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| Posted 3/8/12 12:24 AM |
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wingsofsong
My 3 little loves <3<3<3
Member since 1/09 7395 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Posted by mamabear
Well, I don't think it is fair to say no kids when you are having a destination wedding. It's one thing to leave your kid with a sitter for a few hours. It is totally different to expect you to leave your kid with a sitter for a few days! I wouldn't be comfortable with that. I think the fact that there will be children from her side makes it even more offensive/unfair. Talk to your brother. be honest. see what he is thinking, what he expects, and let him know what would work for you. worst case, maybe you can bring your son and have a sitter or your dh watch him for a few hours, and then leave the wedding early.
ITA with all of this! I hope you can work it out with your brother
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| Posted 3/8/12 1:02 AM |
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july4mrsO
Happy boy!
Member since 5/10 2867 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
It makes zero sense that it's a "kids free" wedding but the bride's nephews will be there. I would be very upset! We had a no kids policy at our wedding but it wasn't a destination wedding. And we didn't make any exceptions which IMO would be really unfair to do. How come two 4 year old boys can go but not a 1 year old who is the groom's nephew? That's ridiculous. I'm so sorry, I would talk to your brother and see what the reasoning is. 
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| Posted 3/8/12 6:25 AM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Posted by mamabear
Well, I don't think it is fair to say no kids when you are having a destination wedding. It's one thing to leave your kid with a sitter for a few hours. It is totally different to expect you to leave your kid with a sitter for a few days! I wouldn't be comfortable with that. I think the fact that there will be children from her side makes it even more offensive/unfair. Talk to your brother. be honest. see what he is thinking, what he expects, and let him know what would work for you. worst case, maybe you can bring your son and have a sitter or your dh watch him for a few hours, and then leave the wedding early.
This!
It's already enough that you will have to travel for their wedding and pay for flights, hotel, etc. I think it's selfish of them to also expect you to leave your baby behind, which is not only an extra expense, but more importantly a huge worry for you to have to leave such a young child for several days. Especially if her nephews are going
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| Posted 3/8/12 6:30 AM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
That is terrible!! It's very unfair that the other kids are welcome, but not your DC. Honestly, I would be really offended. I'd confront my brother.
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| Posted 3/8/12 6:54 AM |
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Megan1129
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/09 515 total posts
Name:
Megan
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
If it was a local wedding, it would not bother me, and would look at it as a fun night out without the baby. HOWEVER, since it is a destination wedding, and you will be gone for days, I think it is competely rude and can't belive your brother would say that. What if you came to a compromise where you bring your son to the destination, but look into whether the hotel has babysitting services for the day so he doesn't go to the wedding. Irregardless, I think it is completely bull crap.
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| Posted 3/8/12 7:05 AM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Honestly I would be completely insulted and personally I wouldnt even go to his wedding...
What is his reasoning why her nephews are allowed but his isnt?
I would definately talk to my brother about it and let him know that hes offended me and my family.
I did not have children at my wedding, but I had mine and my husbands nieces and nephews there regardless of age and there were babies there. I didnt invite ANY guests with children, but our family... I mean ITS FAMILY! I WANTED my niece and nephews to share that day with me, it was one of the most important days of my life...
Im sorry your brother is wrong...
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| Posted 3/8/12 7:07 AM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
I would be offended. My brother didn't have a destination wedding, but DS was 11 months old when my brother got married. He got married on a Saturday night. We carried DS down the aisle, he sat with family at the ceremony and he attended a short part of the cocktail hour. We had a babysitter in another room to watch him the rest of the night. DS also attended SIL's wedding at 5.5 months old and BIL's wedding in CA at 20 months old. This time, I will have a 1 month old at my cousin's wedding out of state.
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| Posted 3/8/12 7:51 AM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Sort of pregnancy related- do you agree with this?
Posted by mamabear
Well, I don't think it is fair to say no kids when you are having a destination wedding. It's one thing to leave your kid with a sitter for a few hours. It is totally different to expect you to leave your kid with a sitter for a few days! I wouldn't be comfortable with that. I think the fact that there will be children from her side makes it even more offensive/unfair. Talk to your brother. be honest. see what he is thinking, what he expects, and let him know what would work for you. worst case, maybe you can bring your son and have a sitter or your dh watch him for a few hours, and then leave the wedding early.
I agree with this completely. I would be livid, and I really don't think I would go unless there was a babysitter that could watch my child at the hotel for a few hours.
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| Posted 3/8/12 8:18 AM |
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