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Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Ok - Secretmama, let me explain why your post is offensive to some, even though, yes you are entitled to your opinions and your reasons for making your choice.
Please don't take this as me jumping on you, I just want to use an example to illustrate what your comments *can* come across as.
First:
Personally, for OUR FAMILY, its extremely important to me and to my husband that I am the one spending the most time with my children. I could not stomach the thought of someone else feeding, rocking, consoling, interacting with, and BONDING with my children while I was at work 8-10 hours a day.
As a working mom I can say:
Personally, for OUR FAMILY, it's extremely important to me & my husband that we are able to provide for our children financially... I'm not talking fancy things - just the basics, a house, food, clothing, etc. I could not stomach the thought of struggling financially, having constant battles over money in front of the children, while my husband works day and night and I never see him just so I can be home with the kids.
Second part:
Where would that leave me? I would get to wake my children up in the morning, drop them at daycare, go to work, pick them up, feed them dinner, put them to bed, and do it all again the next day?
Where would that leave me? In an unhappy marriage where I never see my husband because he is always working to support me stay home eating bon bons and watching Oprah all day, even though I am fully capable of working and being a contributing member of this household. Then, if he leaves me, after growing bored with me and all my baby talk, I now have been out of the work force for years and have no money to support myself and my kids. Good luck finding a job.
No thank you.
The problem comes in when you make ASSUMPTIONS and sweeping generalizations about what the circumstances of a particular situation are. I obviously, do NOT believe that SAHMs sit at home eating bon-bons and watching Oprah all day...just like you shouldn't assume that all working mothers don't spend enough quality time (yes, your post also implied lack of quality) with their children, as your post implies.
This is what always happens in this debate. As I said before...we all need to learn to be a little less defensive and a little more sensitive.
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Posted 4/10/07 12:35 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
My mom is a daycare mom 
Best thing I could have!
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| Posted 4/10/07 12:38 PM |
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Ali1
Mommy
Member since 8/05 3116 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Where would that leave me? I would get to wake my children up in the morning, drop them at daycare, go to work, pick them up, feed them dinner, put them to bed, and do it all again the next day?
No thank you.
I never really bother on these threads as i agree that both sides usually take things the wrong way. However, this one line really got me upset in just the fact that is what i do with my 2 boys 4 days a week and I HATE It. What one has to realize is sometimes you don't get the option of SAH.
Message edited 4/10/2007 12:39:30 PM.
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| Posted 4/10/07 12:39 PM |
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SkyzTheLimit
Bring on summer!!!
Member since 3/06 2483 total posts
Name:
Jamie
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Posted by sweetness
This is going to be a heated subject-Sahm vs working moms always are.
I think you just need to do what's best for YOU and YOUR family and NOT defend your decision to ANYONE. No one is entitled to an explanation.
I agree 100% . If you are secure with your decision you wouldn't have to explain or defend it.
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| Posted 4/10/07 12:41 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by dm24angel
gonna be an agrument soon as always...
For me....I have a hard time leaving my dog alone when I go food shopping, I cant imagine leaving my baby....But once they are older and understand more, I will feel more comfortable.
Thats my choice and my feelings, I want to see all the firsts and be there for my baby versus hearing about it from someone else.
We will suffer some b/c of it sure, but its what is important to me.
And I also atribe to the belief it takes a village to raise a child, so at the same time, I welcome chances to have others help "raise" my baby.
I think the decision is unique to each person, based on their feelings and beliefes....people think and feel and believe different things, doesnt make one wrong or one right.
I have to disagree with the firsts. The girls I work with who have children in daycare have always discussed how they did not want to miss the firsts but we NEVER feel we do. At the end of the day, I don't feel like I missed out of anything. Our day just continues from where we left off and I continue teaching them what they learned during the day. Personally I think anyone can miss a first even if you are with them all day. Just like a child can get hurt while you are watching them. Things happen even if you are there.
Thats my entire point...
You all dont FEEL like you miss it...I Would...
Doesnt make me right and you wrong.
If anything I feel like its great that you dont feel like your missing anything...
The difference for me is I DO feel like I miss it. The first time Alex crawled was at school, and I can't lie, I felt a little tug on my heart. But, working for me was a conscious decision - we're one of the unusual families in that we CAN afford for either myself or my husband to stay at home, but our decision was to both work. With that comes some compromises, like missing my daughter's "firsts", but the trade off is that I am a much better mommy to my daughter in that I have my own life, my own career, my own pursuits that I'm very, very proud of, and the time I spend with her isn't just passing the time, but quality time. And, on top of that, there's something deeply satisfying in knowing that I'm setting an example for my daughter - that she can have a family, and at the same time, pursue a meaningful career and manage it all.
But, I don't see my position that dissimilar from a SAHM because with that, as well there are compromises that are made in that decision. I would imagine that a SAHM feels, at times, isolated. Or, resentment against her husband for having free aduilt time, or resentment for not having their own career pursuits (I'm surmising here).
So, in the end, it's all about compromises. We ALL have to make compromises, the difference is in which particular compromises we choose - that's the common bond that we should all focus on.
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| Posted 4/10/07 12:42 PM |
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preciouslove
I love my DS!!!
Member since 5/05 9340 total posts
Name:
Blank
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
When I was little my mom used to babysit some of my cousins. And to this day one of my cousins still considers my mom to be his "second mother". Even my aunt will say that my mother helped raise her kids. It's not a bad thing...
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| Posted 4/10/07 12:42 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Posted by SkyzTheLimit
I agree 100% . If you are secure with your decision you wouldn't have to explain or defend it.
This is very true, but I think that many Mom's aren't 100% secure in their decisions. And it's totally understandable. ESPECIALLY, for the moms who WANT to stay home but CAN'T.
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| Posted 4/10/07 12:44 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by dm24angel
gonna be an agrument soon as always...
For me....I have a hard time leaving my dog alone when I go food shopping, I cant imagine leaving my baby....But once they are older and understand more, I will feel more comfortable.
Thats my choice and my feelings, I want to see all the firsts and be there for my baby versus hearing about it from someone else.
We will suffer some b/c of it sure, but its what is important to me.
And I also atribe to the belief it takes a village to raise a child, so at the same time, I welcome chances to have others help "raise" my baby.
I think the decision is unique to each person, based on their feelings and beliefes....people think and feel and believe different things, doesnt make one wrong or one right.
I have to disagree with the firsts. The girls I work with who have children in daycare have always discussed how they did not want to miss the firsts but we NEVER feel we do. At the end of the day, I don't feel like I missed out of anything. Our day just continues from where we left off and I continue teaching them what they learned during the day. Personally I think anyone can miss a first even if you are with them all day. Just like a child can get hurt while you are watching them. Things happen even if you are there.
Thats my entire point...
You all dont FEEL like you miss it...I Would...
Doesnt make me right and you wrong.
If anything I feel like its great that you dont feel like your missing anything...
ETA- People on both sides need to stop taking it so personally and defending their position. There is NO REASON to defend yourself....You feel as you feel and that is your right and great and perfect for you....maybe not for others, but no one is WRONG or RIGHT here.....The defensiveness gets sooo carried away.
You really don't know though until you go through it and the pressure of people telling you, you will is ridiculous between women. My sister ALWAYS feels bad if she needs someone to watch her son and has to say that she DOES play with him during the day. Why do women have to prove that they are better moms than others and that they play with their kids all day instead of cleaning the house? Why can't they let them play alone so they can go on the computer or watch TV? As long as you don't neglect your kids, you are doing fine.
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| Posted 4/10/07 12:45 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Posted by BabyAvocado
Ok - Secretmama, let me explain why your post is offensive to some, even though, yes you are entitled to your opinions and your reasons for making your choice.
Please don't take this as me jumping on you, I just want to use an example to illustrate what your comments *can* come across as.
First:
Personally, for OUR FAMILY, its extremely important to me and to my husband that I am the one spending the most time with my children. I could not stomach the thought of someone else feeding, rocking, consoling, interacting with, and BONDING with my children while I was at work 8-10 hours a day.
As a working mom I can say:
Personally, for OUR FAMILY, it's extremely important to me & my husband that we are able to provide for our children financially... I'm not talking fancy things - just the basics, a house, food, clothing, etc. I could not stomach the thought of struggling financially, having constant battles over money in front of the children, while my husband works day and night and I never see him just so I can be home with the kids.
Second part:
Where would that leave me? I would get to wake my children up in the morning, drop them at daycare, go to work, pick them up, feed them dinner, put them to bed, and do it all again the next day?
Where would that leave me? In an unhappy marriage where I never see my husband because he is always working to support me stay home eating bon bons and watching Oprah all day, even though I am fully capable of working and being a contributing member of this household. Then, if he leaves me, after growing bored with me and all my baby talk, I now have been out of the work force for years and have no money to support myself and my kids. Good luck finding a job.
No thank you.
The problem comes in when you make ASSUMPTIONS and sweeping generalizations about what the circumstances of a particular situation are. I obviously, do NOT believe that SAHMs sit at home eating bon-bons and watching Oprah all day...just like you shouldn't assume that all working mothers don't spend enough quality time (yes, your post also implied lack of quality) with their children, as your post implies.
This is what always happens in this debate. As I said before...we all need to learn to be a little less defensive and a little more sensitive.
My thoughts EXACTLY. I feel the same way about EVERYTHING you said.
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| Posted 4/10/07 12:46 PM |
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Maathy317
Grammie's Little Man
Member since 2/06 3235 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
I am with my grandson 5 days a week anywhere from 6 to 8 hours a day (sometimes longer) depending on my daughter's schedule. Not at any time do I consider myself "raising" him. That is the job of his mom and dad. What I do is help them. I wish my daugher could stay home full time and be with her son, but, she can't. She needs to work to survive here. She would give anything to be able to be there 24/7 for him. That's where I come in. I help take care of him. They set down the rules and guidelines and I help carry them out. They will instill in him the values and morals he needs to be the man he is to become. I will help reinforce them. I play a secondary role, plain and simple. It is not my responsibility to "raise" him. It is theirs and they are doing a fine job.
Whether you are a SAHM or a working mom, you have a tough job. Being a parent is the hardest thing you will ever do. There shouldn't be any "one versus the other". You are all in this together. Would all of you like to stay home? Of course. Life doesn't work that way. For those of you that can, there is nothing like it. For those of you that can't, there is nothing like seeing the face of your child at the end of the day. Each one has its own rewards and drawbacks. You just look at them in a different light.
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| Posted 4/10/07 12:46 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Posted by Ali1
Where would that leave me? I would get to wake my children up in the morning, drop them at daycare, go to work, pick them up, feed them dinner, put them to bed, and do it all again the next day?
No thank you.
I never really bother on these threads as i agree that both sides usually take things the wrong way. However, this one line really got me upset in just the fact that is what i do with my 2 boys 4 days a week and I HATE It. What one has to realize is sometimes you don't get the option of SAH.
Very true and that is another one of my pet peeves is women who INSIST that all women CAN stay home if they just cut things out. Like what? Food? Some of us can not and understand that and will not make our dh's work 3 jobs so we can stay home. I made these children too and they are also my responsibility. I work because I have to, not because I want to.
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| Posted 4/10/07 12:49 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Posted by Maathy317
Whether you are a SAHM or a working mom, you have a tough job. Being a parent is the hardest thing you will ever do. There shouldn't be any "one versus the other". You are all in this together. Would all of you like to stay home? Of course. Life doesn't work that way.
Ok, sorry to start this back up, but I have a bone to pick here - I hate the assumptions that are made in this debate. "Would you all like to stay home?" For me, NO, I wouldn't. To assume that every mom would like to stay home, and the ones that are working, are doing so against their wishes, that really irks me.
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| Posted 4/10/07 12:50 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Posted by Maathy317
I am with my grandson 5 days a week anywhere from 6 to 8 hours a day (sometimes longer) depending on my daughter's schedule. Not at any time do I consider myself "raising" him. That is the job of his mom and dad. What I do is help them. I wish my daugher could stay home full time and be with her son, but, she can't. She needs to work to survive here. She would give anything to be able to be there 24/7 for him. That's where I come in. I help take care of him. They set down the rules and guidelines and I help carry them out. They will instill in him the values and morals he needs to be the man he is to become. I will help reinforce them. I play a secondary role, plain and simple. It is not my responsibility to "raise" him. It is theirs and they are doing a fine job.
Whether you are a SAHM or a working mom, you have a tough job. Being a parent is the hardest thing you will ever do. There shouldn't be any "one versus the other". You are all in this together. Would all of you like to stay home? Of course. Life doesn't work that way. For those of you that can, there is nothing like it. For those of you that can't, there is nothing like seeing the face of your child at the end of the day. Each one has its own rewards and drawbacks. You just look at them in a different light.
And I am sure you are doing a GREAT job loving and taking care of your grandson!
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| Posted 4/10/07 12:51 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by Maathy317
Whether you are a SAHM or a working mom, you have a tough job. Being a parent is the hardest thing you will ever do. There shouldn't be any "one versus the other". You are all in this together. Would all of you like to stay home? Of course. Life doesn't work that way.
Ok, sorry to start this back up, but I have a bone to pick here - I hate the assumptions that are made in this debate. "Would you all like to stay home?" For me, NO, I wouldn't. To assume that every mom would like to stay home, and the ones that are working, are doing so against their wishes, that really irks me.
That is also very true. I have "met" many people on other boards who simply do not want to stay home. They don't love their children any less but they want their career. I feel as long as your family comes first, there is nothing wrong with that.
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| Posted 4/10/07 12:52 PM |
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Dragonfly75
I love Hypnobabies
Member since 3/06 2333 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
I work 3 days a week, so I feel like I have one foot in both worlds and can see both sides, but the one thing that always boogles my minds is when people say things like "I don't want my baby bonding with someone else."
I find that so strange. I think it's great that DS is learning to love lots of people, not just mommy and he is learning that lots of people love him. The other day I picked him early from daycare up b/c he was having a reaction to his shot and his caregiver was holding him, he looked over at her and reached out for her face and I could tell that he liked her and that she really liked him -- that made me so happy and I felt like it was wonderful that he has such a tremendous ability to bond with people. I don't think that diminshes my relationship with him at all.
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| Posted 4/10/07 12:53 PM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Posted by BabyAvocado
Ok - Secretmama, let me explain why your post is offensive to some, even though, yes you are entitled to your opinions and your reasons for making your choice.
Please don't take this as me jumping on you, I just want to use an example to illustrate what your comments *can* come across as.
First:
Personally, for OUR FAMILY, its extremely important to me and to my husband that I am the one spending the most time with my children. I could not stomach the thought of someone else feeding, rocking, consoling, interacting with, and BONDING with my children while I was at work 8-10 hours a day.
As a working mom I can say:
Personally, for OUR FAMILY, it's extremely important to me & my husband that we are able to provide for our children financially... I'm not talking fancy things - just the basics, a house, food, clothing, etc. I could not stomach the thought of struggling financially, having constant battles over money in front of the children, while my husband works day and night and I never see him just so I can be home with the kids.
Second part:
Where would that leave me? I would get to wake my children up in the morning, drop them at daycare, go to work, pick them up, feed them dinner, put them to bed, and do it all again the next day?
Where would that leave me? In an unhappy marriage where I never see my husband because he is always working to support me stay home eating bon bons and watching Oprah all day, even though I am fully capable of working and being a contributing member of this household. Then, if he leaves me, after growing bored with me and all my baby talk, I now have been out of the work force for years and have no money to support myself and my kids. Good luck finding a job.
No thank you.
The problem comes in when you make ASSUMPTIONS and sweeping generalizations about what the circumstances of a particular situation are. I obviously, do NOT believe that SAHMs sit at home eating bon-bons and watching Oprah all day...just like you shouldn't assume that all working mothers don't spend enough quality time (yes, your post also implied lack of quality) with their children, as your post implies.
This is what always happens in this debate. As I said before...we all need to learn to be a little less defensive and a little more sensitive.
Do you really feel that way about SAHMs, or were you just trying to make a point? I'm a SAHM and I don't even have enough TIME to watch Oprah and eat bon bons all day. That and my relationship with my DH is wonderful...
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| Posted 4/10/07 12:54 PM |
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Dragonfly75
I love Hypnobabies
Member since 3/06 2333 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by Maathy317
Whether you are a SAHM or a working mom, you have a tough job. Being a parent is the hardest thing you will ever do. There shouldn't be any "one versus the other". You are all in this together. Would all of you like to stay home? Of course. Life doesn't work that way.
Ok, sorry to start this back up, but I have a bone to pick here - I hate the assumptions that are made in this debate. "Would you all like to stay home?" For me, NO, I wouldn't. To assume that every mom would like to stay home, and the ones that are working, are doing so against their wishes, that really irks me.
Oh, I agree, nothing irritates me more than people who think the only thing I would want to do with my day is stay at home and that I have to drag myself to work. Honestly, I am a much better mother because I work.
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| Posted 4/10/07 12:56 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Posted by SoinLove
Posted by BabyAvocado
Ok - Secretmama, let me explain why your post is offensive to some, even though, yes you are entitled to your opinions and your reasons for making your choice.
Please don't take this as me jumping on you, I just want to use an example to illustrate what your comments *can* come across as.
First:
Personally, for OUR FAMILY, its extremely important to me and to my husband that I am the one spending the most time with my children. I could not stomach the thought of someone else feeding, rocking, consoling, interacting with, and BONDING with my children while I was at work 8-10 hours a day.
As a working mom I can say:
Personally, for OUR FAMILY, it's extremely important to me & my husband that we are able to provide for our children financially... I'm not talking fancy things - just the basics, a house, food, clothing, etc. I could not stomach the thought of struggling financially, having constant battles over money in front of the children, while my husband works day and night and I never see him just so I can be home with the kids.
Second part:
Where would that leave me? I would get to wake my children up in the morning, drop them at daycare, go to work, pick them up, feed them dinner, put them to bed, and do it all again the next day?
Where would that leave me? In an unhappy marriage where I never see my husband because he is always working to support me stay home eating bon bons and watching Oprah all day, even though I am fully capable of working and being a contributing member of this household. Then, if he leaves me, after growing bored with me and all my baby talk, I now have been out of the work force for years and have no money to support myself and my kids. Good luck finding a job.
No thank you.
The problem comes in when you make ASSUMPTIONS and sweeping generalizations about what the circumstances of a particular situation are. I obviously, do NOT believe that SAHMs sit at home eating bon-bons and watching Oprah all day...just like you shouldn't assume that all working mothers don't spend enough quality time (yes, your post also implied lack of quality) with their children, as your post implies.
This is what always happens in this debate. As I said before...we all need to learn to be a little less defensive and a little more sensitive.
Do you really feel that way about SAHMs, or were you just trying to make a point? I'm a SAHM and I don't even have enough TIME to watch Oprah and eat bon bons all day. That and my relationship with my DH is wonderful...
She said she does NOT believe that is what sahm's do.
"I obviously, do NOT believe that SAHMs sit at home eating bon-bons and watching Oprah all day...just like you shouldn't assume that all working mothers don't spend enough quality time (yes, your post also implied lack of quality) with their children, as your post implies."
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| Posted 4/10/07 1:01 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Posted by Dragonfly75
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by Maathy317
Whether you are a SAHM or a working mom, you have a tough job. Being a parent is the hardest thing you will ever do. There shouldn't be any "one versus the other". You are all in this together. Would all of you like to stay home? Of course. Life doesn't work that way.
Ok, sorry to start this back up, but I have a bone to pick here - I hate the assumptions that are made in this debate. "Would you all like to stay home?" For me, NO, I wouldn't. To assume that every mom would like to stay home, and the ones that are working, are doing so against their wishes, that really irks me.
Oh, I agree, nothing irritates me more than people who think the only thing I would want to do with my day is stay at home and that I have to drag myself to work. Honestly, I am a much better mother because I work.
Somedays when all my kids do is fight-I do feel like I am better at work and they are separated for awhile so I am not just spending my day yelling at them because sometimes NOTHING works with them.
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| Posted 4/10/07 1:02 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Posted by SoinLove
Do you really feel that way about SAHMs, or were you just trying to make a point? I'm a SAHM and I don't even have enough TIME to watch Oprah and eat bon bons all day. That and my relationship with my DH is wonderful...
Definitely not.
I was trying to illustrate what her post might sound like if it was reversed. I don't believe any of those things I wrote about SAHMs...but I've certainly heard them all.
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| Posted 4/10/07 1:04 PM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Posted by hazeleyes33
She said she does NOT believe that is what sahm's do.
"I obviously, do NOT believe that SAHMs sit at home eating bon-bons and watching Oprah all day...just like you shouldn't assume that all working mothers don't spend enough quality time (yes, your post also implied lack of quality) with their children, as your post implies."
I hadn't read that part, but I figured she was just trying to make a point
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| Posted 4/10/07 1:09 PM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Posted by BabyAvocado
Posted by SoinLove
Do you really feel that way about SAHMs, or were you just trying to make a point? I'm a SAHM and I don't even have enough TIME to watch Oprah and eat bon bons all day. That and my relationship with my DH is wonderful...
Definitely not.
I was trying to illustrate what her post might sound like if it was reversed. I don't believe any of those things I wrote about SAHMs...but I've certainly heard them all.
Yeah, I hadn't read that "NOT" feeling that way part. I figured as much anyway. I've heard them all too. I honestly don't care either way; WOHM or SAHM....as long as the child is loved and provided for, what difference does it make?
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| Posted 4/10/07 1:11 PM |
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NS1976
My princess!
Member since 5/05 6548 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
This subject is SO personal to each individual I feel.
I come from all places. My mom was a SAHM my entire life. It was her decision with my dad that she stay home with us because this is what they BOTH wanted. This is what was important to them as parents. And I feel it was the best decision EVER and I wouldnt have traded it in (as a child) for anything!
Now comes my time. I took this year off to stay home. I love it! I love being with my baby girl. Experiencing everything with her. Focusing on her...this is what my plan was from the very beginning. We suffer financially a lot but Id rather suffer than go back to work. Just my personal choice.
Now, I HAVE to go back to work because of some unforseen circumstances. I will go back in September but will only be part time. I feel like this is the best decision for us right now. My dh will be with her in the morning and I will come home and take over the rest of the day. Hopefully it works and doesnt bother me too much.
Now..I am also a preschool teacher, so I can speak from that perspective too. And while I understand that most ladies on this board are not like this, I am here to tell you that there are MANY parents that rely on the school to raise their kids. Even down to teaching them morals and ethics. Again..I am not speaking specifically about anyone on these boards but in my experience, this is what I have found. Sometimes I even question why people have children in the first place. Their jobs OBVIOUSLY come first and these kids are put in my school for whole days sometimes whether they are ready, sick or what not.
To say, I work and I am a better mother for it..or I am a sahm and am a better mother for it, its simply due to the indivdual you are. It all depends on your personality, what you can handle, etc. For example..I hate to drive! My drive to work is 40 minutes on an excellent day. It takes so much out of me that I am afraid that by the time I come home, I wont have enough left in me for Megan. I have already discussed with my dh that if thats the case, I will not be staying at work. My child comes first. But that is what I mean by personal choice and depending on the individual.
In this "debate", which it really shouldnt be, I feel the need to defend every side.
SAHM's..because I know how hard my mom worked being a sahm with 3 kids and how she sacraficed so much just for us. I also know what its like now since I have been home almost a year wth my dd.
Working moms..because I will know what its going to be like when I go back to work. I know whats it like to suffer financially, and I also know what its like to want something more in life to make it more "rounded" for lack of a better word.
Preschools teachers..because I am one and I know first hand what happens in day care and in preschool. I know that many times we get the brunt of the work and that also we get the head when moms cant be around to be just that to them for that time period..a second mom.
All in all...I think whatever you choose to do depending on YOUR specific and personal situation, should be what benefits your child. How can anyone argue or debate that??
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| Posted 4/10/07 1:19 PM |
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NJmom
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Member since 8/05 4987 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
I haven't had time to read through all of the previous posts, but I just wanted to say that I am a SAHM and I would NEVER say that sending your kids to day care is having someone else raise your kids! I feel very fortunate to be able to SAH with my son, but I would have no problem sending my DS to day care if I had to. In fact I think there are a lot of advantages to sending your kids to day care. Everyone has to do what works in their situation.
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| Posted 4/10/07 1:21 PM |
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FeliciaDP
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Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM-Sorry-Long
Posted by BabyInMarch
I haven't had time to read through all of the previous posts, but I just wanted to say that I am a SAHM and I would NEVER say that sending your kids to day care is having someone else raise your kids! I feel very fortunate to be able to SAH with my son, but I would have no problem sending my DS to day care if I had to. In fact I think there are a lot of advantages to sending your kids to day care. Everyone has to do what works in their situation.
I totally agree
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| Posted 4/10/07 1:26 PM |
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