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DrMeg
Back home!
Member since 5/08 1858 total posts
Name:
Meg
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Posted by seaside
OK--so legitimate question: Why should someone not be allowed to talk on the phone at the same volume as someone who is clearly allowed to talk to their seatmate--or the people behind them? What is the rationale for this?
If it's a library--a show--a designated "quiet car" fine--no talking. But if talking is allowed, why isn't it incredibly intrusive to tell someone not to be quiet, but they have to get off their phone.
Personally, I hardly ever use my cell phone--for my own reasons--but I have always wondered this. I keep to myself on the LIRR--and I am on it a lot, and don't have any personal stories to tell.
How can it matter to someone? Who is someone to demand that a stranger refrain from doing something that lots of people around them are doing, but allowed to do. I have heard people say that it's because you can't hear boths sides of a cell phone conversation--but really? Is it anyone's right to eavesdrop? Can you base the distinction on that? I am just curious.
In general I don't think it's people getting upset about someone having a 1-2 minute phone conversation at a normal volume.
I have experienced people yelling into their phone along the lines of "can you hear me now". I had one girl sit behind me one morning on speaker phone with verizon giving them her SSN to get her password reset. I had to listen to a guy tell someone all about his colonoscopy and another girl yelling into her phone in another language all the way from Lindenhurst to Jamaica. These are the instances for me (at least) when people are being down right rude and should be confronted.
Most "commuting trains" are silent in both the morning and afternoon. People are either sleeping or reading, etc. And so people like I mentioned above stand out and it gets really annoying after 15-20 minutes or so.
Message edited 6/19/2011 11:50:29 AM.
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Posted 6/19/11 11:02 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
tink23
Step by step....
Member since 6/11 1061 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
I agree. Using public transportation is a public activity. People are going talk on their phone or to a fellow passenger. The only time I get annoyed is when they are excessively loud, that is just rude.
Posted by seaside
OK--so legitimate question: Why should someone not be allowed to talk on the phone at the same volume as someone who is clearly allowed to talk to their seatmate--or the people behind them? What is the rationale for this?
If it's a library--a show--a designated "quiet car" fine--no talking. But if talking is allowed, why isn't it incredibly intrusive to tell someone not to be quiet, but they have to get off their phone.
Personally, I hardly ever use my cell phone--for my own reasons--but I have always wondered this. I keep to myself on the LIRR--and I am on it a lot, and don't have any personal stories to tell.
How can it matter to someone? Who is someone to demand that a stranger refrain from doing something that lots of people around them are doing, but allowed to do. I have heard people say that it's because you can't hear boths sides of a cell phone conversation--but really? Is it anyone's right to eavesdrop? Can you base the distinction on that? I am just curious.
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| Posted 6/19/11 1:16 PM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
It seems that the people that question why "us" commuters get angry when someone is jabbering on their phone, arent commuters themselves.
Try sitting for 1+ more hours in a metal box, jambed in a seat with little room to move and have an azzhat next to you, or across the isle, chatting away like they are in their own home about their day/night/hemorrhoids/jock itch/gyn appt or whatever and see how long you will put up with it.
I have been riding the LIRR for 20+ years and there are times I can drown out any noise around me and then there are other times that I want to kill someone. But I do realize that its is PUBLIC transportation , I do not own it, I just pay for my ride.
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| Posted 6/19/11 1:25 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Posted by seaside
OK--so legitimate question: Why should someone not be allowed to talk on the phone at the same volume as someone who is clearly allowed to talk to their seatmate--or the people behind them? What is the rationale for this?
If it's a library--a show--a designated "quiet car" fine--no talking. But if talking is allowed, why isn't it incredibly intrusive to tell someone not to be quiet, but they have to get off their phone.
Personally, I hardly ever use my cell phone--for my own reasons--but I have always wondered this. I keep to myself on the LIRR--and I am on it a lot, and don't have any personal stories to tell.
How can it matter to someone? Who is someone to demand that a stranger refrain from doing something that lots of people around them are doing, but allowed to do. I have heard people say that it's because you can't hear boths sides of a cell phone conversation--but really? Is it anyone's right to eavesdrop? Can you base the distinction on that? I am just curious.
I don't get it either - it's public transportation. As long as people are using their normal indoor voices, I don't care if it's one person talking on the phone or 2+ people having a conversation that are on the train.
On my morning train, there is one guy that is on the phone for almost the entire ride and you can barely hear a peep. I had to switch cars because there is a group of 3-5 women that start out at a decent volume but end up yelling by the time we hit the tunnel. In the evenings, you can hear them on the other side of the car. They have been shushed by other passengers but it's short lived so I choose to avoid them.
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| Posted 6/19/11 2:20 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Posted by Lisa
It seems that the people that question why "us" commuters get angry when someone is jabbering on their phone, arent commuters themselves.
Try sitting for 1+ more hours in a metal box, jambed in a seat with little room to move and have an azzhat next to you, or across the isle, chatting away like they are in their own home about their day/night/hemorrhoids/jock itch/gyn appt or whatever and see how long you will put up with it.
I have been riding the LIRR for 20+ years and there are times I can drown out any noise around me and then there are other times that I want to kill someone. But I do realize that its is PUBLIC transportation , I do not own it, I just pay for my ride.
That's not true- I was a commuter for many many years and I commuted from as far out as Kings Park. I just feel like life is too short to get yourself so upset about these things. Yes, commuting can be unpleasant but I just think some people get so upset over the smallest things. I got YELLED at for making a phone call at a normal volume on a very noisy train. It's like the woman was just waiting for someone to take out their phone so that she could let out all the frustrations of her day and have what she thought to be a legitimate excuse. I should have said something back but to be honest, I felt humiliated. I hadn't even done anything wrong though!!!
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| Posted 6/19/11 3:44 PM |
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KittyGags
LIF Adult
Member since 7/09 5614 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
I have gotten into it with other commuters. Some people have no concept that the train is not their living room.
When did it become acceptable to take your shoes off on the train? Or put your feet up? Or shout on the phone, or listen to your music so loud that everyone can hear it? Or let your basketball/backpack/purse take a seat and then huff and puff when someone asks to sit there....?
The list goes on and on...I've realized over time that I just hate most people and their general lack of respect for others around them. Its not just the train, its everywhere...its just worse because commuters have to take the train everyday so its what sticks out. I encounter plenty of other a-holes at the drugstore, at a restaurant, target, etc...
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| Posted 6/19/11 8:24 PM |
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Yes, last summer. It was a hot Friday in July and I had a sundress on and two bags. One was my purse and one was a tote and was full of work I brought home for the weekend to review. Both were on the floor, not an issue. I had the window seat and a guy sat next to me.
My stop came up and I gathered my things and said excuse me. Guy next to me ignored me. I said, excuse me, this is my stop. He wouldn't move. I asked a third time, excuse me, i need to get off, he didn't budge. I had to straddle this guy with my sundress on, purse and tote bag and was totally mortified.
Guy across the aisle went buck nutty on the guy next to me and told him 'to let the lady out'....guy next to me refused and ignore him and those two ended up in a fighting match and guy across the aisle punched him in the face as i walked off the train after i had crawled over the guys lap...grosss. I wish i could have stayed on longer to see how it played out.  But i saw it go down as i walked off and through the window.
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| Posted 6/19/11 8:36 PM |
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Posted by KittyGags
The list goes on and on...I've realized over time that I just hate most people and their general lack of respect for others around them. Its not just the train, its everywhere...its just worse because commuters have to take the train everyday so its what sticks out. I encounter plenty of other a-holes at the drugstore, at a restaurant, target, etc...
I agree completely.
And while I no longer commute by train regularly, I DO drive allover freakin' creation many days and see it ALL.
Even when I go to my YOGA class in the evenings, people are ready to pounce over the parking spaces.
That says something about our area right there!
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| Posted 6/19/11 9:39 PM |
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Posted by fruitypebbles
Yes, last summer. It was a hot Friday in July and I had a sundress on and two bags. One was my purse and one was a tote and was full of work I brought home for the weekend to review. Both were on the floor, not an issue. I had the window seat and a guy sat next to me.
My stop came up and I gathered my things and said excuse me. Guy next to me ignored me. I said, excuse me, this is my stop. He wouldn't move. I asked a third time, excuse me, i need to get off, he didn't budge. I had to straddle this guy with my sundress on, purse and tote bag and was totally mortified.
Guy across the aisle went buck nutty on the guy next to me and told him 'to let the lady out'....guy next to me refused and ignore him and those two ended up in a fighting match and guy across the aisle punched him in the face as i walked off the train after i had crawled over the guys lap...grosss. I wish i could have stayed on longer to see how it played out. But i saw it go down as i walked off and through the window.
That's freakin' nuts. Glad you are okay!
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| Posted 6/19/11 9:41 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Posted by seaside
OK--so legitimate question: Why should someone not be allowed to talk on the phone at the same volume as someone who is clearly allowed to talk to their seatmate--or the people behind them? What is the rationale for this?
If it's a library--a show--a designated "quiet car" fine--no talking. But if talking is allowed, why isn't it incredibly intrusive to tell someone not to be quiet, but they have to get off their phone.
Personally, I hardly ever use my cell phone--for my own reasons--but I have always wondered this. I keep to myself on the LIRR--and I am on it a lot, and don't have any personal stories to tell.
How can it matter to someone? Who is someone to demand that a stranger refrain from doing something that lots of people around them are doing, but allowed to do. I have heard people say that it's because you can't hear boths sides of a cell phone conversation--but really? Is it anyone's right to eavesdrop? Can you base the distinction on that? I am just curious.
They can speak on the phone BUT common courtesy is to keep your calls brief & your voice low. They say it on every train. Many cell phone people are talking low & making an effort. Normally it doesn't bother me because it is much more common that people are courteous (even the people that have to be on con calls & are apologetic about it).
What bothers me is when they think their seat is located in the cone of silence.
Again, it's a public place. You want to yap loudly on the phone, don't be surprised that everyone can hear you & your business being conducted.
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| Posted 6/19/11 10:11 PM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by seaside
OK--so legitimate question: Why should someone not be allowed to talk on the phone at the same volume as someone who is clearly allowed to talk to their seatmate--or the people behind them? What is the rationale for this?
If it's a library--a show--a designated "quiet car" fine--no talking. But if talking is allowed, why isn't it incredibly intrusive to tell someone not to be quiet, but they have to get off their phone.
Personally, I hardly ever use my cell phone--for my own reasons--but I have always wondered this. I keep to myself on the LIRR--and I am on it a lot, and don't have any personal stories to tell.
How can it matter to someone? Who is someone to demand that a stranger refrain from doing something that lots of people around them are doing, but allowed to do. I have heard people say that it's because you can't hear boths sides of a cell phone conversation--but really? Is it anyone's right to eavesdrop? Can you base the distinction on that? I am just curious.
They can speak on the phone BUT common courtesy is to keep your calls brief & your voice low. They say it on every train. Many cell phone people are talking low & making an effort. Normally it doesn't bother me because it is much more common that people are courteous (even the people that have to be on con calls & are apologetic about it).
What bothers me is when they think their seat is located in the cone of silence.
Again, it's a public place. You want to yap loudly on the phone, don't be surprised that everyone can hear you & your business being conducted.
Personally, I don't use my phone on my commute. I just don't understand why all loud people don't seem to be treated or even talked about in the same way. Being on the phone seems to automatically be considered wrong, whereas talking to seatmates does not. That's the part I don't understand. Regular loud people playing cards or gossiping or whatever never seem to be bothered by anyone.
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| Posted 6/19/11 10:15 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Posted by seaside
Personally, I don't use my phone on my commute. I just don't understand why all loud people don't seem to be treated or even talked about in the same way. Being on the phone seems to automatically be considered wrong, whereas talking to seatmates does not. That's the part I don't understand. Regular loud people playing cards or gossiping or whatever never seem to be bothered by anyone.
BTW, my "you" wasn't directed to "you" it was the general you.
I agree. They should all be treated the same...hi"F" family from Syosset
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| Posted 6/19/11 10:22 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
When I'm on the train, I want to be in my own head with my own thoughts. I don't want to be in your head with your thoughts. Keep your thoughts to yourself until you are in a private place and can have a free discussion. Public places are not the place to have lengthy conversations about anything.
It's just common sense. This goes for anyone talking non stop whether it be on a cell phone or to the guy two rows up. It's not a bar, your house, your car, your office. It's a small space occupied by 80 other people.
Message edited 6/19/2011 10:28:57 PM.
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| Posted 6/19/11 10:27 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Posted by fruitypebbles
My stop came up and I gathered my things and said excuse me. Guy next to me ignored me. I said, excuse me, this is my stop. He wouldn't move. I asked a third time, excuse me, i need to get off, he didn't budge. I had to straddle this guy with my sundress on, purse and tote bag and was totally mortified.
This situation is where I step on his foot/feet and let my bag hit him in the head as I get out. You don't want to show me any courtesey and let me out, I am not showing any in getting out.
Passive aggressive perhaps, but obnoxious breeds obnoxious sometimes.
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| Posted 6/27/11 10:26 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Message edited 6/25/2012 2:11:02 PM.
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| Posted 6/27/11 11:29 AM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Posted by ali120206
My dad did once. This woman waited with us for the subway every morning when I commuted with him. She was so annoying. One morning, she totally shoved me (knocked me over) to get on the subway. So my dad nudged her back (not a push mind you, a nudge). She goes to him - how dare you, I'm pregnant! He responded, oh, I thought you were just fat and that still doesn't give you the right to push my daughter.
well played, dad
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| Posted 6/27/11 11:41 AM |
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Bella01
LIF Adult
Member since 5/11 3708 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Posted by ali120206
My dad did once. This woman waited with us for the subway every morning when I commuted with him. She was so annoying. One morning, she totally shoved me (knocked me over) to get on the subway. So my dad nudged her back (not a push mind you, a nudge). She goes to him - how dare you, I'm pregnant! He responded, oh, I thought you were just fat and that still doesn't give you the right to push my daughter.
go dad!
Message edited 6/27/2011 12:49:40 PM.
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| Posted 6/27/11 11:44 AM |
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w8andsee
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 1193 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Posted by nrthshgrl
I did email a guy's boss once. Here's what I sent him from the train:
Subject Line: Your employee...
Body of the email:
will not stop talking on the train.
How do I know he is your employee? He may be yours because he's mentioned you as the President of his company a few times during his morning train phone call so I googled. I may have the spelling of your name wrong in which case, feel free to disregard. I appreciate we all need to work around the clock at our jobs in this economy. I take many calls on the train - but from the vestibule. If you can you tell him to be quieter, I'm sure we'd all appreciate it? We're on a Penn Station bound train from Port Jeff. He is being courteous and pretty complimentary on the phone about you, but I do really need my sleep so I can work more efficiently at my job.
By the way he's got someone on the phone and asked the person to do him a favor and sign into his computer. He is going to give them his user name and password. Probably not the best venue to discuss it.
He is discussing Phil H-------n?
User name: ===== (edited )
Password' holiday52
Good luck with your deal. He said the guy he needs to talk to is on an
island and you maybe SOL.
Did the boss ever reply?
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| Posted 6/27/11 11:53 AM |
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KittyGags
LIF Adult
Member since 7/09 5614 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
I thought of this post this morning as I listened to a woman scream on the phone in spanish for my whole commute. Exactly how I wanted to start my work week!
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| Posted 6/27/11 12:04 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Posted by ali120206
My dad did once. This woman waited with us for the subway every morning when I commuted with him. She was so annoying. One morning, she totally shoved me (knocked me over) to get on the subway. So my dad nudged her back (not a push mind you, a nudge). She goes to him - how dare you, I'm pregnant! He responded, oh, I thought you were just fat and that still doesn't give you the right to push my daughter.
that is just WRONG..
I'm not saying that what she did was right..
but to have your father retaliate and touch her in any way back is wrong imo.. and the remark about her being fat when she is pregnant was just low...
on the LIRR and MetroNorth they make announcements to be courteous to other riders and keep unused seats/aisle clear and to not talk on the cell phone..
Alot of people do not have any respect for other people.. that's what I have no patience for...
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| Posted 6/27/11 12:22 PM |
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casey31
Mommy of 3!
Member since 5/05 2967 total posts
Name:
Mommy to two boys and a girl
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
My mother got a cancer diagnosis in December- a week later she was seriously ill from fluid in her lungs and was hospitalized.
I was whispering on the phone to my DH after I got on the train about her condition. WHISPERING.
The woman in front of me turned around and said, do you realize I can hear every detail about your life?"
I started crying.
I just wish I could have said to- look b"tch would you like me to tell you more about my mom's cancer- I am happy too. I should have told her off- but I'm not that type.
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| Posted 6/27/11 12:39 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Posted by w8andsee
Did the boss ever reply?
No. I'm sure he would never even admit the employee was his. Finance is fairly sensitive & you'd never want it getting out to your clients that your employee just gave his user name & password out.
That was really what made me send the email. Imagine knowing the company name & the log in with client's finances at risk.
Message edited 6/27/2011 12:42:35 PM.
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| Posted 6/27/11 12:41 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Posted by casey31
The woman in front of me turned around and said, do you realize I can hear every detail about your life?"
Then if she heard, she should have been more sympathetic.
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| Posted 6/27/11 12:42 PM |
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jilliibabii
Mrs. O'Connor
Member since 6/10 12821 total posts
Name:
Jillian
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Posted by KittyGags
I have gotten into it with other commuters. Some people have no concept that the train is not their living room.
When did it become acceptable to take your shoes off on the train? Or put your feet up? Or shout on the phone, or listen to your music so loud that everyone can hear it? Or let your basketball/backpack/purse take a seat and then huff and puff when someone asks to sit there....?
The list goes on and on...I've realized over time that I just hate most people and their general lack of respect for others around them. Its not just the train, its everywhere...its just worse because commuters have to take the train everyday so its what sticks out. I encounter plenty of other a-holes at the drugstore, at a restaurant, target, etc...
ITA. If everyone was just a little bit more curteous to each other, followed the rules just a little bit better, everyone else would be a whole lot happier. 
Anyway... my most memorable train story is pretty infamous among my family and friends. I once punched a lady in the face on the train. In my defense, she deserved it.
We were walking down the stairs from the 6 train platform at 59th and Lexington to the R train. I always stand right by the door so I'm pretty much the first one off the train and down the stairs and it's pretty empty. There was one woman who was walking right on top of me, literally bumping into me even though the entire staircase was empty. So I simply said to her, "Dude, can't you just walk over there?" Well, she flipped her sh!t. She started yelling at me and cursing at me all while I just rolled my eyes and kept it moving, but she kept pursuing me down the stairs. When I got to maybe the third step from the bottom, she shoved me from behind. Fortunately, I only stumbled and regained my footing, but I dropped my Jericho Terrace binder and it broke and all the pages scattered everywhere and I saw red. I turned around swinging. Fortunately, DH has taught me to throw a punch (to his and this lady's detriment) and I hit her good. I hit her SO hard that I knocked her glasses off her face into the train tracks and gave her a bloody nose. By this point, cops were arriving and they separated us to get our stories. A little Asian woman and her daughter came up to me and my cop and told the officer that the other lady started it and I simply defended myself. The cop was very nice, believed my story and said the lady was obviously "unstable", as she was ranting and gesturing wildly to the other cop, but that he had to wait with me until my train arrived since I had no physical damage and she did. Not my fault she picked the wrong little person to mess with. My Jericho Terrace binder was never the same again, though. 
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| Posted 6/27/11 12:47 PM |
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maybemommy10
Big Brothers to Be !
Member since 2/10 3868 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spin-off to commuting: Have you ever gotten into it with another commuter?
Posted by Bella0701
Posted by ali120206
My dad did once. This woman waited with us for the subway every morning when I commuted with him. She was so annoying. One morning, she totally shoved me (knocked me over) to get on the subway. So my dad nudged her back (not a push mind you, a nudge). She goes to him - how dare you, I'm pregnant! He responded, oh, I thought you were just fat and that still doesn't give you the right to push my daughter.
love it!! go dad!
Since when is it ok for a man to touch a pregnant woman????!??! and then to call her fat?! Really?!?! If that were to happen to me, that mans arm would have been broken in 4 places before he could even whimper the words im sorry. Preggo or not.
Touching anyone is WRONG. but a man and a pregnant woman can get somone killed, seriously wrong.
Message edited 6/27/2011 12:52:30 PM.
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| Posted 6/27/11 12:51 PM |
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