Sorry to bring anyone down

AS much as I love the holidays. I tend to get really down and emotional thinking about all the loved ones who are no longer with me. Especially my sisters husband who passed from cancer 4 yrs ago (dec 29). He left behind 2 adorbale children who were 8 months and 21 months at the time. He was ill from aug-dec. i find myself driving and listening to the radio and crying. The christmas music just gets to me. Sorry to bring anyone down at this time but i feel very sad right now

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

I feel horrible as well as my dad passed 3 weeks ago. Like you, I was forced to walk through the malls with this Xmas music that makes me want to puke just to pick out a black outfit for the funeral. I dont know that the xmas seasons without relatives get easier but I hear they change within time. Sorry that u are down in the dumps. Keep those around u close. It makes u feel good.

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

I know its not a "holiday" but I lost my dad a few days after my 21st b-day- In fact, my b-day was the last day we ever spoke. He had a stroke the next day. For years my birthday was a dark day for me. In fact, the first year after he died I stayed home from school and just cried and cried on my b-day. That first thanksgiving (the first holiday after he passed) without him was so hard... But I promise, it does get easier.

It is so normal to think about our lost ones during this time of year. After a few years of perspective, I still think of the ones I lost (my dad and all my grandparents in the last 5 years), but I think about them and smile. I was blessed to have had such wodnerful people in my life and I try to focus on that and not what I am missing. I believe they are watching down on me- just like your BIL is watching down on your sister and his little ones.

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

I can totally relate. Almost 2 years ago my uncle passed and was very ill at this time. This week I lost my aunt, his sister. We must keep their memeories alive and remember that even thought they are gone from this earth...their love is still with us.

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

Posted by Shellyesq



It is so normal to think about our lost ones during this time of year. After a few years of perspective, I still think of the ones I lost (my dad and all my grandparents in the last 5 years), but I think about them and smile. I was blessed to have had such wodnerful people in my life and I try to focus on that and not what I am missing. I believe they are watching down on me- just like your BIL is watching down on your sister and his little ones.

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

Glad I can help.

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

It is tough. I lost both of my parents about 9 years ago and my dad died a few weeks before Christmas. That first Christmas was really tough. But, as Shelly said, it does get easier with time. I do still miss them around the holidays, and I do think of them a lot this time of year, but I am glad I do. I don't ever want to forget how special they made the holidays for us and it makes me want to make the special effort to see my siblings and their families.

The crying hits at weird and sometimes inconvenient times, but it's better to get it out, I think.

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

I am so sory you are down!

I lost my cousin 11 years ago to a car accident in north carolina he was hit by a cement truck he was on his way to a wedding. he was going to come home from the marines a month later!

also I lost my Uncle Kenny in a commericial plane crash with people from hsi company on it. the person was at fault who was driving the plane and it was so bad out that night they could not see anything.

and i lost both of my grnadmothers one died in 1999 from a stroke she was 95

and it will be two years that my grandmother(dad's mom) died from altimeizers disease!

so i know how you feel. i also lost a lot of people from cancer too uncles andfriends. I will miss you all and will always be in my thoughts and prayers.

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

I hear ya!! My brother passed away 9 years ago and it hurts every year not having him here for the holidays, which he loved to celebrate, and it doesn't help having a ton of reminders of him with pics everywhere. We still put his Christmas stocking up every year. My dad just started listening to Christmas music again in the past two years. In the years after his death, my father literally could not handle the music. Luckily as the years have gone by, the hurt has diminished a bit and we are able to celebrate the holidays with him very close in our hearts. Hugs to everyone that is missing a loved one at this time of year. And remember they are here with you in spirit and in your heart!!!

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

to everyone who is having a hard time celebrating the holidays.

I also HATED shopping in the stores this year listening to the happy music while hating every single minute of it. This should have been our son's first christmas and while I have been masking most of my tears - it is hitting me harder today of all days. I hope he is celebrating with my father but I would so much rather him celebrating with us

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

Posted by dooodles

to everyone who is having a hard time celebrating the holidays.

I also HATED shopping in the stores this year listening to the happy music while hating every single minute of it. This should have been our son's first christmas and while I have been masking most of my tears - it is hitting me harder today of all days. I hope he is celebrating with my father but I would so much rather him celebrating with us

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

Posted by dooodles

to everyone who is having a hard time celebrating the holidays.

I also HATED shopping in the stores this year listening to the happy music while hating every single minute of it. This should have been our son's first christmas and while I have been masking most of my tears - it is hitting me harder today of all days. I hope he is celebrating with my father but I would so much rather him celebrating with us

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

I'm sorry Nance....

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

Posted by Shellyesq

I know its not a "holiday" but I lost my dad a few days after my 21st b-day- In fact, my b-day was the last day we ever spoke. He had a stroke the next day. For years my birthday was a dark day for me. In fact, the first year after he died I stayed home from school and just cried and cried on my b-day. That first thanksgiving (the first holiday after he passed) without him was so hard... But I promise, it does get easier.

It is so normal to think about our lost ones during this time of year. After a few years of perspective, I still think of the ones I lost (my dad and all my grandparents in the last 5 years), but I think about them and smile. I was blessed to have had such wodnerful people in my life and I try to focus on that and not what I am missing. I believe they are watching down on me- just like your BIL is watching down on your sister and his little ones.

Message edited 12/23/2005 9:43:55 PM.

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

Posted by nancygrace

AS much as I love the holidays. I tend to get really down and emotional thinking about all the loved ones who are no longer with me. Especially my sisters husband who passed from cancer 4 yrs ago (dec 29). He left behind 2 adorbale children who were 8 months and 21 months at the time. He was ill from aug-dec. i find myself driving and listening to the radio and crying. The christmas music just gets to me. Sorry to bring anyone down at this time but i feel very sad right now

Message edited 12/23/2005 9:47:00 PM.

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

i get sad also during the holidays. my mom died when i was 19 (my brother was 14) from cancer. my stepsister died at 18 of heart problems and my MIL died before DH and I got married. it is hard but you can get through it. as you can see by the posts, we have all been through tragedies in our lives. life just has to go one and you learn to be strong everyday. you just learn to keep the person in your heart and memories everyday and know that they are "with you" in some sense and watching you. that's what helps me get through holidays

Message edited 12/24/2005 12:58:29 AM.

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

to everyone.

This year is hard for my family as well - my 40 year old cousin passed away in June. Its going to be so weird and sad without him there.

My stepgrandfather passed away the same day.

And my GrandMIL passed away in Jan.

The first Christmas without all of them.....

Re: Sorry to bring anyone down

Message edited 12/17/2010 7:13:33 AM.