SO to all the discipline-y threads today... 2 things I have found that DON'T work.

Just sharing this experience, from my very own "trial and error" file....

As DS moved from "baby" to "toddler" and we braced ourselves for the normal behavioral, ahem, adjustments.... both DS and I made the "rookie" mistake of saying (usually repeatedly, and not yelling but certainly CLEARLY):

"SHANE."

and

"NO."

That was it. We figured if we got his attention and the behavior stopped we were successful GO US. "Darling, aren't we lucky, we have the best baby in the world..." Had we paid attention we'd have noticed that his quizzical look was NOT one of "Oh. I guess that behavior made mommy and daddy unhappy. I shall stop now". In truth the kid really looked like he wanted to say "Whattheeff?"

Fast forward, after a few more incidents, it was QUITE clear our non-speaking baby completely understood that when we said his name or that "no" thing that NOTHING HAPPENED. Nothing. Nada. So he, quite logically, would resume the behavior. Ahhh, getting played by a 1yo - so humbling!!!

It occurred to me at that time that when my dog Sophie was a puppy and we had a trainer (I was a lifelong dog owner, but this was my only training experience!), one lesson she taught ME was that "NO is not a command." In other words, doggie doesn't "respond" to "No" because I'm not asking her to DO anything. Similarly, stop, enough, quit it, please, etc all fall on deaf ears. Best course of action with the pup was to REWARD AND ENCOURAGE positive behavior, with love, affection, happy voice, and the occasional bacon bit. It was my daily mission every day to "catch" her doing something awesome - as I recall just sitting there not jumping, mouthing or pawing got HUUUUGELY rewarded .

So I (belatedly) saw the overlap here, and it's in my mind all the time now when I correct Shane that "no" and "my child's name" will get his attention, but they will NOT change behavior.

Don't know if that makes sense to anyone but figured I'd pass it on while we're playing on this theme today.

Re: SO to all the discipline-y threads today... 2 things I have found that DON'T work.

sooooo, if i follow correctly,

"MINI-ME!' = BAD

"MINI-ME! STOP HUMPING THE LASER!" = GOOD

?



Thanks, Mama!

Re: SO to all the discipline-y threads today... 2 things I have found that DON'T work.

SO funny you say this because I was thinking about using some of the things I learned when I trained my dog on DS. I know that sounds totally horrible, but it totally 100% makes sense to reward the good behavior! We also would discourage the bad behavior with our dog so I plan on trying the same with DS. Not so much just saying "NO!" but saying "no!" and accompanying by a consequence (time out, go to the room, no tv, whatever).

Talk to me again in a few months/a year and see if it's working

Re: SO to all the discipline-y threads today... 2 things I have found that DON'T work.

DD is almost 14 months, so we're just starting out with this whole toddler thing, but i just wanted to add that this tip also works for DHs as well. Just wanted to spread your great tip to the larger population that could benefit from it!

Re: SO to all the discipline-y threads today... 2 things I have found that DON'T work.

Posted by neenie

DD is almost 14 months, so we're just starting out with this whole toddler thing, but i just wanted to add that this tip also works for DHs as well. Just wanted to spread your great tip to the larger population that could benefit from it!

Re: SO to all the discipline-y threads today... 2 things I have found that DON'T work.

hahahaha so true ladies!!!

Yesi, definitely, great point, bad behavior needs to be caught too - the best best best tip I ever heard was that to puppy, YOU are the best reward in the world, your eye contact, smiling, petting, etc etc. So the best punishment is to REMOVE that in the face of bad behavior - ie. turn your back, cross your arms over your chest, look away, whatever. That really worked. BIGTIME. I have done it with DS too, in his younger months!

Neenie - quite right . Most of the time with DH though, I just YELL

Re: SO to all the discipline-y threads today... 2 things I have found that DON'T work.

Are you calling my Claire bear a dog???

In the words of When Harry Met Sally:

Who is supposed to be the dog in this scenario? Am I the dog? Because if anyone is the dog, it should be you!"

Re: SO to all the discipline-y threads today... 2 things I have found that DON'T work.

This explains a lot... I try not to say no to DD but I will say "Elizabeth!! Elizabeth!!! ELIZABETH!!!!"

all the while, losing my ish because she's paying me no mind..

DH is the king of no, no, NO!

And here I thought I was so much more evolved because I can discipline with more syllables than he can.

Re: SO to all the discipline-y threads today... 2 things I have found that DON'T work.

Posted by CrankyPants

Are you calling my Claire bear a dog???

In the words of When Harry Met Sally:

Who is supposed to be the dog in this scenario? Am I the dog? Because if anyone is the dog, it should be you!"

Re: SO to all the discipline-y threads today... 2 things I have found that DON'T work.

Posted by Linda1003

Posted by CrankyPants

Are you calling my Claire bear a dog???

In the words of When Harry Met Sally:

Who is supposed to be the dog in this scenario? Am I the dog? Because if anyone is the dog, it should be you!"

BEST MOVIE EVER!!!!!