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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: So sad !! 3 yr old dies after choking on a carrot
So devastating to everyone involved.
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Posted 3/19/09 8:07 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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kathleeng
Member since 5/05 3775 total posts
Name:
Kathleen
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Re: So sad !! 3 yr old dies after choking on a carrot
Posted by dooodles
Posted by ABCiverson
that is so sad
I have lost a child. Before I lost him I too said "I would die if I lost a child". But thats just not true for most people, I know some parents never get passed it and never can move on. There are days you feel like you can't get out of bed, but then life happens. What else can you do but 'move on'?
Its been almost 4 years since I lost my son, not a day goes by that I don't think of him, or really even talk to him (yes I am crazy, I talk to him all day long ). While I use to feel guilty for even saying this, I am happy. Of course life would be more happy if he were alive but thats not the cards I was dealt.
I know personlly (and for others mothers mourning a child) hearing people say "I would never survive this, they are stronger than I could ever be" actually hurts the mourning parent. It makes us feel gulity that we can actually be happay again I am not trying to start drama, just letting everyone see it from a mourning parents eye
Thank you so much for saying this Amanda, I too as a parent who survived the death of their child four years ago as well (and I too talk to my son everyday as well - so you have company in the crazy group) find that those comments do sting when reading them.
My heart and prayers are with the family of this beloved child 
So beautifully said Amanda and Donna!! I lurk on this board occasionally and was also hurt by the comments.
My heart goes out to this little girl and her family!!!!
Message edited 3/19/2009 9:24:36 AM.
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| Posted 3/19/09 9:24 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: So sad !! 3 yr old dies after choking on a carrot
Posted by ABCiverson
Posted by Mrs. Patticakes
ABCiverson and Dooodles....I had no idea that a comment like that would hurt, I really had no idea. Thanks for bringing that to our attention. I am so sorry for both of your losses. 
I know that 4 years later those comments still hurt but I was more worried about people have have recently lost a child. I remember them hurting so much more when the pain was so fresh. I have had MANY people say(to my face) "you are so strong, I could never survive" and it feels like a slap in the face, while I know those people meant it as a compliment it doesn't feel like it. So ladies please remember there are many moms here that have lost a child, some recently
I also had no idea that it would hurt either...so sorry Not my intentions or others. I guess one can never know what they would do or be like to be in anothers shoes. Let me ask this...prior to your losses would you have said the same as what we are feeling? like we couldnt get through it?
The only way i could relate is that I lost my dad at an early age and prior to losing him i probably would have said "My God what would I do without him" and feel such a loss. BUT I wouldnt think twice when someone who does have a father to date says " I could never live without my father". i realize that that is truly how they feel and I once felt that as well...KWIM...
I dont know how I would cope without my child but you girls are highly respected for sharing your stories with us. It opened my eyes for sure. So Thank you.
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| Posted 3/19/09 10:18 AM |
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dapnkap
Our 3 angels
Member since 7/07 4824 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: So sad !! 3 yr old dies after choking on a carrot
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| Posted 3/19/09 10:19 AM |
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: So sad !! 3 yr old dies after choking on a carrot
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| Posted 3/19/09 10:21 AM |
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MamaBear8
LIF Zygote
Member since 3/09 48 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: So sad !! 3 yr old dies after choking on a carrot
I can't even imagine what the family is going through or even her caregivers. Things like this scare me...
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| Posted 3/19/09 10:23 AM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: So sad !! 3 yr old dies after choking on a carrot
Wow....this story is absolutely terrifying!!!!
And it's not just a carrot that can do this.....that's why I am comforted knowing that in DC's DC they all sit in their "poker table" to eat...they cannot get out and run around....
Although this was not the situation, I guess it's my way of comforting myself.....
Calling DC now....
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| Posted 3/19/09 10:30 AM |
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Gatsbygirl
Please St. Therese....
Member since 10/07 8494 total posts
Name:
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Re: So sad !! 3 yr old dies after choking on a carrot
Posted by JenBenMen
Honestly--how do parents recover after something like this?
I would DIE if my son died at daycare---DIE
I know....I hated leaving him today after reading this...
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| Posted 3/19/09 10:35 AM |
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Sweets13
Bella Bambini
Member since 5/05 9300 total posts
Name:
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Re: So sad !! 3 yr old dies after choking on a carrot
Posted by Mrs. Patticakes
ABCiverson and Dooodles....I had no idea that a comment like that would hurt, I really had no idea. Thanks for bringing that to our attention. I am so sorry for both of your losses.
Same here! It was not meant to hurt you or other's.
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| Posted 3/19/09 12:25 PM |
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sami
So very blessed!! Thank u !!
Member since 8/06 6524 total posts
Name:
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Re: So sad !! 3 yr old dies after choking on a carrot
My god what a sin!
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| Posted 3/19/09 12:29 PM |
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ABCiverson
<3 my family
Member since 1/06 7465 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: So sad !! 3 yr old dies after choking on a carrot
Posted by PrincessP
Let me ask this...prior to your losses would you have said the same as what we are feeling? like we couldnt get through it?
I believe in one of my posts on here I even said "I use to say this before I lost my son".
I know that its a normal thing to say and most say it even though its simply not true. I still feel that I would die if I lost my daughters (even though logically I know I wouldn't). Thats why I simply pointed out how much it can hurt a grieving mother/father. I was just trying to point out how words hurt (even when that is not there intended purpose), as you can tell since other angel moms agreed with me.
When we read about a child's death we are sent straight back to the memories of our child's death/loss, then we read how so many parents saying the would die if it happened to them and it hurts. It makes us feel like there is something wrong with us for being happy and moving on. Like we are somehow less of a parent for not dying when our child died. I am not even going to say I understand why we feel this way. It all has to do with our brains work (which I will be honest and say I know nothing about how brains work).
You all have a right to feel this way, and to say it. I was just trying to enlighten non-greiveing parents that there are many grieving parents on these boards that get hurt by those words If you chose to continue to say it thats your choice. But please never say it to a griveing mother's/father's face
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| Posted 3/19/09 12:47 PM |
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ABCiverson
<3 my family
Member since 1/06 7465 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: So sad !! 3 yr old dies after choking on a carrot
Posted by Sweets13
Posted by Mrs. Patticakes
ABCiverson and Dooodles....I had no idea that a comment like that would hurt, I really had no idea. Thanks for bringing that to our attention. I am so sorry for both of your losses.
Same here! It was not meant to hurt you or other's.
I totally understand that. Thats the reason why I shared it with you all that it does hurt. It was not made to make you feel guilty or even feel pity (which I am not saying you or any other posters feel)for us. I know many (if not all) that said it had no idea that it might hurt any of us(grieving parents), I was just hoping that by speaking up that we(the girls that read what I wrote) might all be able to spare some pain to some recently griving parents
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| Posted 3/19/09 12:52 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: So sad !! 3 yr old dies after choking on a carrot
Posted by ABCiverson
Posted by PrincessP
Let me ask this...prior to your losses would you have said the same as what we are feeling? like we couldnt get through it?
When we read about a child's death we are sent straight back to the memories of our child's death/loss, then we read how so many parents saying the would die if it happened to them and it hurts. It makes us feel like there is something wrong with us for being happy and moving on. Like we are somehow less of a parent for not dying when our child died. I am not even going to say I understand why we feel this way. It all has to do with our brains work (which I will be honest and say I know nothing about how brains work).
That is what the human spirit is all about. We find the strength to move forward, go on, even in the most horrific tragedies. That's what our bodies are designed to do. Thank you for sharing your experince, showing people that life does go on and it's not wrong and doesn't mean someone doesn't care about their loved one who passed away. But that we all have to find peace in order to function on a daily basis and yes, even enjoy life again (while still missing that person terribly).
I am so sorry for your loss, and I am so sad inside for the loss of this beautiful little girl.
Message edited 3/19/2009 1:05:19 PM.
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| Posted 3/19/09 1:01 PM |
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jprimrose
I love my little munchkins!
Member since 10/05 3939 total posts
Name:
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Re: So sad !! 3 yr old dies after choking on a carrot
This is just so sad and tragic. Many for the family and friends of this little girl.
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| Posted 3/19/09 1:23 PM |
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