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Relationships changing

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JennP
LIF Adult

Member since 10/06

3986 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: Relationships changing

Posted by LuckyStar

DH takes his cues from me because of my profession so we are on the same page.

I think most of the people close to us are of a similar mindset. Wear masks, eat outdoors, don't go to huge gatherings. We know some people who take it to a level that is probably overkill from a scientific standpoint, but I respect their wishes.

I don't think we really interact with anyone who is flagrant about the virus or denies its seriousness, but that probably stems from the fact that our circle is an intelligent, well-educated bunch.



This almost word for word although DH defers to me not because of my profession but because I'm having surgery in two weeks and really don't want anything to screw it up.

I loosened up over the summer because I feel more comfortable with outdoor activities but I've been more cautious recently because I just don't want this delayed.

Posted 10/9/20 1:48 PM
 
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult

Member since 4/14

1014 total posts

Name:

Re: Relationships changing

Posted by JennP

Posted by Hopefulmama

Posted by LuckyStar

DH takes his cues from me because of my profession so we are on the same page.

I think most of the people close to us are of a similar mindset. Wear masks, eat outdoors, don't go to huge gatherings. We know some people who take it to a level that is probably overkill from a scientific standpoint, but I respect their wishes.

I don't think we really interact with anyone who is flagrant about the virus or denies its seriousness, but that probably stems from the fact that our circle is an intelligent, well-educated bunch.



I think that is a good way to put it - what some people are doing is indeed overkill from a scientific standpoint. And while I agree with PP and respect their wishes, I tend to find that this zealous crowd can be, generally speaking, sanctimonious and judgmental.



Curious if you mean in general society or on here?

Because if it's on here, I disagree. On the other hand, I've seen plenty of posts filled with hysteria along with blatant condescension and dismissiveness for those being cautious. There is one going on right now with a ridiculous false equivalency when the controversial comment wasn't even directed at anyone on here. It's so unnecessary.

I also think there's a difference between being judgmental towards people who are following the rules but maybe living less cautiously than you (which is not ok) and being judgmental towards people flouting the rules and being reckless with people's lives (which I think is totally justified.)



I was speaking about my own friend group and family, but I feel like I’ve seen judgment go both ways here as well. When I was struggling with the early lockdown restrictions as single mother to a disabled child, I definitely encountered some “too bad” attitudes around here. Not many though!! :)

Back to my friends and family though, for example - I am going out to dinner with 11 people, seated at two tables in a private room, for my children’s communion. We are three households (my siblings and their children). To me, this is entirely within the guidelines. Indoor dining is open. There is no stay at home order, we will be masked until we are seated, we will be at two tables and we are in a private room. There will people in my life who will be absolutely aghast that I am doing this. There are people who won’t want me to attend our weekly, entirely outdoor drinks night for two weeks following. I got chewed out for getting a haircut in June bc I chose to get a blow out in salon that was empty except for me and the stylist who were both wearing masks - bc of some pseudoscience that blow dryers can blow covid around a room (um yeah....no. At least not without entirely dispersing the particles and weakening the viral load as well as weakening the virus with the heat. Plus if everyone is masked - what COVID is in the air? I digress....)

I’ve gotten attitude for going to the doctor, the tailer, an outdoor pool, the beach....meanwhile the same people compete in excruciatingly boring conversations about how few things they have done and how few people they have seen in 6 months... the sanctimony is real and it’s tiring!

Posted 10/9/20 2:01 PM
 

Sash
Peace

Member since 6/08

10272 total posts

Name:
fka LIW Smara

Re: Relationships changing

Posted by JennP

Posted by Hopefulmama

Posted by LuckyStar

DH takes his cues from me because of my profession so we are on the same page.

I think most of the people close to us are of a similar mindset. Wear masks, eat outdoors, don't go to huge gatherings. We know some people who take it to a level that is probably overkill from a scientific standpoint, but I respect their wishes.

I don't think we really interact with anyone who is flagrant about the virus or denies its seriousness, but that probably stems from the fact that our circle is an intelligent, well-educated bunch.



I think that is a good way to put it - what some people are doing is indeed overkill from a scientific standpoint. And while I agree with PP and respect their wishes, I tend to find that this zealous crowd can be, generally speaking, sanctimonious and judgmental.



Curious if you mean in general society or on here?

Because if it's on here, I disagree. On the other hand, I've seen plenty of posts filled with hysteria along with blatant condescension and dismissiveness for those being cautious. There is one going on right now with a ridiculous false equivalency when the controversial comment wasn't even directed at anyone on here. It's so unnecessary.

I also think there's a difference between being judgmental towards people who are following the rules but maybe living less cautiously than you (which is not ok) and being judgmental towards people flouting the rules and being reckless with people's lives (which I think is totally justified.)



That’s actually not what’s going on in the other thread but nice try.

Posted 10/9/20 2:05 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54510 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Relationships changing

Posted by Hopefulmama

Posted by JennP

Posted by Hopefulmama

Posted by LuckyStar

DH takes his cues from me because of my profession so we are on the same page.

I think most of the people close to us are of a similar mindset. Wear masks, eat outdoors, don't go to huge gatherings. We know some people who take it to a level that is probably overkill from a scientific standpoint, but I respect their wishes.

I don't think we really interact with anyone who is flagrant about the virus or denies its seriousness, but that probably stems from the fact that our circle is an intelligent, well-educated bunch.



I think that is a good way to put it - what some people are doing is indeed overkill from a scientific standpoint. And while I agree with PP and respect their wishes, I tend to find that this zealous crowd can be, generally speaking, sanctimonious and judgmental.



Curious if you mean in general society or on here?

Because if it's on here, I disagree. On the other hand, I've seen plenty of posts filled with hysteria along with blatant condescension and dismissiveness for those being cautious. There is one going on right now with a ridiculous false equivalency when the controversial comment wasn't even directed at anyone on here. It's so unnecessary.

I also think there's a difference between being judgmental towards people who are following the rules but maybe living less cautiously than you (which is not ok) and being judgmental towards people flouting the rules and being reckless with people's lives (which I think is totally justified.)



I was speaking about my own friend group and family, but I feel like I’ve seen judgment go both ways here as well. When I was struggling with the early lockdown restrictions as single mother to a disabled child, I definitely encountered some “too bad” attitudes around here. Not many though!! :)

Back to my friends and family though, for example - I am going out to dinner with 11 people, seated at two tables in a private room, for my children’s communion. We are three households (my siblings and their children). To me, this is entirely within the guidelines. Indoor dining is open. There is no stay at home order, we will be masked until we are seated, we will be at two tables and we are in a private room. There will people in my life who will be absolutely aghast that I am doing this. There are people who won’t want me to attend our weekly, entirely outdoor drinks night for two weeks following. I got chewed out for getting a haircut in June bc I chose to get a blow out in salon that was empty except for me and the stylist who were both wearing masks - bc of some pseudoscience that blow dryers can blow covid around a room (um yeah....no. At least not without entirely dispersing the particles and weakening the viral load as well as weakening the virus with the heat. Plus if everyone is masked - what COVID is in the air? I digress....)

I’ve gotten attitude for going to the doctor, the tailer, an outdoor pool, the beach....meanwhile the same people compete in excruciatingly boring conversations about how few things they have done and how few people they have seen in 6 months... the sanctimony is real and it’s tiring!



You've gotten attitude about going to the doctor? Do these perfect rule following humans not go to the doctor anymore for fear of Covid?
I hope they don't' God forbid get cancer or something else and not know it because of fear of getting Covid at the doctor.
Your risk of dying of cancer is WAY WAY higher than your risk of dying of Covid.

Posted 10/9/20 2:26 PM
 

LuckyStar
LIF Adult

Member since 7/14

7146 total posts

Name:

Re: Relationships changing

Posted by Hopefulmama

Posted by JennP

Posted by Hopefulmama

Posted by LuckyStar

DH takes his cues from me because of my profession so we are on the same page.

I think most of the people close to us are of a similar mindset. Wear masks, eat outdoors, don't go to huge gatherings. We know some people who take it to a level that is probably overkill from a scientific standpoint, but I respect their wishes.

I don't think we really interact with anyone who is flagrant about the virus or denies its seriousness, but that probably stems from the fact that our circle is an intelligent, well-educated bunch.



I think that is a good way to put it - what some people are doing is indeed overkill from a scientific standpoint. And while I agree with PP and respect their wishes, I tend to find that this zealous crowd can be, generally speaking, sanctimonious and judgmental.



Curious if you mean in general society or on here?

Because if it's on here, I disagree. On the other hand, I've seen plenty of posts filled with hysteria along with blatant condescension and dismissiveness for those being cautious. There is one going on right now with a ridiculous false equivalency when the controversial comment wasn't even directed at anyone on here. It's so unnecessary.

I also think there's a difference between being judgmental towards people who are following the rules but maybe living less cautiously than you (which is not ok) and being judgmental towards people flouting the rules and being reckless with people's lives (which I think is totally justified.)



I was speaking about my own friend group and family, but I feel like I’ve seen judgment go both ways here as well. When I was struggling with the early lockdown restrictions as single mother to a disabled child, I definitely encountered some “too bad” attitudes around here. Not many though!! :)

Back to my friends and family though, for example - I am going out to dinner with 11 people, seated at two tables in a private room, for my children’s communion. We are three households (my siblings and their children). To me, this is entirely within the guidelines. Indoor dining is open. There is no stay at home order, we will be masked until we are seated, we will be at two tables and we are in a private room. There will people in my life who will be absolutely aghast that I am doing this. There are people who won’t want me to attend our weekly, entirely outdoor drinks night for two weeks following. I got chewed out for getting a haircut in June bc I chose to get a blow out in salon that was empty except for me and the stylist who were both wearing masks - bc of some pseudoscience that blow dryers can blow covid around a room (um yeah....no. At least not without entirely dispersing the particles and weakening the viral load as well as weakening the virus with the heat. Plus if everyone is masked - what COVID is in the air? I digress....)

I’ve gotten attitude for going to the doctor, the tailer, an outdoor pool, the beach....meanwhile the same people compete in excruciatingly boring conversations about how few things they have done and how few people they have seen in 6 months... the sanctimony is real and it’s tiring!



I've never heard the blow dryer theory. Virus particles circulate throughout the air with or without blow dryers. I've gotten my hair cut and blown out. It's no different than going to the grocery store. Just make sure everyone is wearing a mask.

I get a laugh out of the people who "air out" packages. But I would never say anything. Whatever makes them comfortable. They're not hurting anyone.

Not wearing a mask could potentially hurt people. Them I judge. I judge em hard.

Posted 10/10/20 9:16 AM
 

JennP
LIF Adult

Member since 10/06

3986 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: Relationships changing

Posted by Hopefulmama

Posted by JennP

Posted by Hopefulmama

Posted by LuckyStar

DH takes his cues from me because of my profession so we are on the same page.

I think most of the people close to us are of a similar mindset. Wear masks, eat outdoors, don't go to huge gatherings. We know some people who take it to a level that is probably overkill from a scientific standpoint, but I respect their wishes.

I don't think we really interact with anyone who is flagrant about the virus or denies its seriousness, but that probably stems from the fact that our circle is an intelligent, well-educated bunch.



I think that is a good way to put it - what some people are doing is indeed overkill from a scientific standpoint. And while I agree with PP and respect their wishes, I tend to find that this zealous crowd can be, generally speaking, sanctimonious and judgmental.



Curious if you mean in general society or on here?

Because if it's on here, I disagree. On the other hand, I've seen plenty of posts filled with hysteria along with blatant condescension and dismissiveness for those being cautious. There is one going on right now with a ridiculous false equivalency when the controversial comment wasn't even directed at anyone on here. It's so unnecessary.

I also think there's a difference between being judgmental towards people who are following the rules but maybe living less cautiously than you (which is not ok) and being judgmental towards people flouting the rules and being reckless with people's lives (which I think is totally justified.)



I was speaking about my own friend group and family, but I feel like I’ve seen judgment go both ways here as well. When I was struggling with the early lockdown restrictions as single mother to a disabled child, I definitely encountered some “too bad” attitudes around here. Not many though!! :)

Back to my friends and family though, for example - I am going out to dinner with 11 people, seated at two tables in a private room, for my children’s communion. We are three households (my siblings and their children). To me, this is entirely within the guidelines. Indoor dining is open. There is no stay at home order, we will be masked until we are seated, we will be at two tables and we are in a private room. There will people in my life who will be absolutely aghast that I am doing this. There are people who won’t want me to attend our weekly, entirely outdoor drinks night for two weeks following. I got chewed out for getting a haircut in June bc I chose to get a blow out in salon that was empty except for me and the stylist who were both wearing masks - bc of some pseudoscience that blow dryers can blow covid around a room (um yeah....no. At least not without entirely dispersing the particles and weakening the viral load as well as weakening the virus with the heat. Plus if everyone is masked - what COVID is in the air? I digress....)

I’ve gotten attitude for going to the doctor, the tailer, an outdoor pool, the beach....meanwhile the same people compete in excruciatingly boring conversations about how few things they have done and how few people they have seen in 6 months... the sanctimony is real and it’s tiring!



Interesting. I guess it just comes down to who is in your circle.

I've been to the pool, the doctor - I have no choice these days - and the hair salon and no one has said boo to me. And my circle is pretty cautious.

Regarding the communion, I think mixing households indoors with no masks is definitely a gray area where reasonable people can disagree. I won't judge people who might want to do it and I don't think it's right for people to treat you poorly but I also think it's their right and not unreasonable to avoid people who have been doing that if they are not yet ready to.

Posted 10/11/20 2:22 PM
 

seaside
LIF Adult

Member since 6/08

3101 total posts

Name:

Re: Relationships changing

It's funny. We have such a broad circle of family and really close friends, and everyone is handlig the situation differently. Some are being very cautious; some are showing minimum compliance with regulations. Not one relationship has changed; not one judgment that I know of has been made.

I believe that this is because no one has knowlingly or deliberately put others at risk out of selfishness, recklessness, or convenience. No one I know sends their kids to school sick, no one flouts regulations involving masks and gatherings, and no one without a mask deprives anyone of the chance to socially distance before they have a chance to stand back or say no. Super simple.

Beyond that, we all have different circumstances and need to live a bit differently. This is no issue. Health issues, age, race, and even socio-economic issues, among other things, place people and their family members at heightened risk for complications and death, and those whose opinions I care about and vice versa, get this and act respectfully and decently.

I should add that though our circle is diverse in every imaginable way, including belief-wise, everyone in it believes that scientific advancement and basic decency are the only things that will stop the spread and save lives down the road. This, as we have all supported one another, has strengthened relationships.




Posted 10/12/20 10:32 AM
 

Straightarrow
LIF Adult

Member since 2/11

3534 total posts

Name:

Re: Relationships changing

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by FirstMate



Also, my BFF recently had a baby and refuses to let anyone meet the baby, including her parents (1st grandbaby BTW!). This is someone who was literally in the delivery room with me when I had my boys and she will not allow me to meet him. Only on Facetime. She works as an OR RN and has allowed all of her OR friends to meet the baby because they know proper precautions. I'm not a leper, I'm not sick and I know how to wash my hands and wear a mask, thank you. Its very hurtful.



Could you imagine that God forbid something happened to one of her parents and they passed away and never got to meet their first grandchild? I would think she'd be riddled with guilt forever after that...as she should be.
I think it's pretty disgusting if you ask me.
My parents would be so angry and hurt if I did that and would probably disown me completely. And I wouldn't blame them one bit
People have gone off the deep end. I'm sorry but they have



My good friend, her mother died, not of covid, in April and it was devastating to her because she was keeping herself and her kids away from her parents. She has a ton of regret that she missed out on time with her mother and it truly broke her heart.

Posted 10/12/20 4:12 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54510 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Relationships changing

Posted by Straightarrow

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by FirstMate



Also, my BFF recently had a baby and refuses to let anyone meet the baby, including her parents (1st grandbaby BTW!). This is someone who was literally in the delivery room with me when I had my boys and she will not allow me to meet him. Only on Facetime. She works as an OR RN and has allowed all of her OR friends to meet the baby because they know proper precautions. I'm not a leper, I'm not sick and I know how to wash my hands and wear a mask, thank you. Its very hurtful.



Could you imagine that God forbid something happened to one of her parents and they passed away and never got to meet their first grandchild? I would think she'd be riddled with guilt forever after that...as she should be.
I think it's pretty disgusting if you ask me.
My parents would be so angry and hurt if I did that and would probably disown me completely. And I wouldn't blame them one bit
People have gone off the deep end. I'm sorry but they have



My good friend, her mother died, not of covid, in April and it was devastating to her because she was keeping herself and her kids away from her parents. She has a ton of regret that she missed out on time with her mother and it truly broke her heart.



Yep. This is all I think about lately.
How many people have spent their last months on earth alone, scared of their own family, not travelling, not living.
And to die of something else.
So hard to fathom.

Posted 10/12/20 4:46 PM
 

Hopefulmama
LIF Adult

Member since 4/14

1014 total posts

Name:

Re: Relationships changing

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by Straightarrow

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by FirstMate



Also, my BFF recently had a baby and refuses to let anyone meet the baby, including her parents (1st grandbaby BTW!). This is someone who was literally in the delivery room with me when I had my boys and she will not allow me to meet him. Only on Facetime. She works as an OR RN and has allowed all of her OR friends to meet the baby because they know proper precautions. I'm not a leper, I'm not sick and I know how to wash my hands and wear a mask, thank you. Its very hurtful.



Could you imagine that God forbid something happened to one of her parents and they passed away and never got to meet their first grandchild? I would think she'd be riddled with guilt forever after that...as she should be.
I think it's pretty disgusting if you ask me.
My parents would be so angry and hurt if I did that and would probably disown me completely. And I wouldn't blame them one bit
People have gone off the deep end. I'm sorry but they have



My good friend, her mother died, not of covid, in April and it was devastating to her because she was keeping herself and her kids away from her parents. She has a ton of regret that she missed out on time with her mother and it truly broke her heart.



Yep. This is all I think about lately.
How many people have spent their last months on earth alone, scared of their own family, not travelling, not living.
And to die of something else.
So hard to fathom.



I think about this too. It’s part of the reason I’m even having a gathering for my kids communion. I have missed so much with my family - how much longer am I supposed to avoid them? I’m not saying I want to go to an underground rave, but are people really still not seeing their own siblings? Even for the months when we were operating at a 1 percent positive rate? I also *personally* know three relatively young people recently diagnosed with invasive cancer whose diagnoses were directly delayed because of covid. One got shuffled around with virtual visits and finally insisted on an actual physical because he was losing weight like crazy and felt like crap. Turns out he has aggressive lymphoma. Another also got a runaround with telehealth before finally getting a X-ray and then a pet scan that showed a spot on her lung. Another’s routine mammogram was delayed...covid is real, and deadly, and new and terrifying but it’s not the only thing to be afraid of.

Message edited 10/12/2020 5:34:52 PM.

Posted 10/12/20 5:29 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54510 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Relationships changing

Posted by Hopefulmama

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by Straightarrow

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by FirstMate



Also, my BFF recently had a baby and refuses to let anyone meet the baby, including her parents (1st grandbaby BTW!). This is someone who was literally in the delivery room with me when I had my boys and she will not allow me to meet him. Only on Facetime. She works as an OR RN and has allowed all of her OR friends to meet the baby because they know proper precautions. I'm not a leper, I'm not sick and I know how to wash my hands and wear a mask, thank you. Its very hurtful.



Could you imagine that God forbid something happened to one of her parents and they passed away and never got to meet their first grandchild? I would think she'd be riddled with guilt forever after that...as she should be.
I think it's pretty disgusting if you ask me.
My parents would be so angry and hurt if I did that and would probably disown me completely. And I wouldn't blame them one bit
People have gone off the deep end. I'm sorry but they have



My good friend, her mother died, not of covid, in April and it was devastating to her because she was keeping herself and her kids away from her parents. She has a ton of regret that she missed out on time with her mother and it truly broke her heart.



Yep. This is all I think about lately.
How many people have spent their last months on earth alone, scared of their own family, not travelling, not living.
And to die of something else.
So hard to fathom.



I think about this too. It’s part of the reason I’m even having a gathering for my kids communion. I have missed so much with my family - how much longer am I supposed to avoid them? I’m not saying I want to go to an underground rave, but are people really still not seeing their own siblings? Even for the months when we were operating at a 1 percent positive rate? I also *personally* know three relatively young people recently diagnosed with invasive cancer whose diagnoses were directly delayed because of covid. One got shuffled around with virtual visits and finally insisted on an actual physical because he was losing weight like crazy and felt like crap. Turns out he has aggressive lymphoma. Another also got a runaround with telehealth before finally getting a X-ray and then a pet scan that showed a spot on her lung. Another’s routine mammogram was delayed...covid is real, and deadly, and new and terrifying but it’s not the only thing to be afraid of.



I agree. We are still as a state overall, hovering at 1%. I saw something in Newsday yesterday that stated that.. Long Island is very low too.
I went to a Communion party a few weeks ago. It was great to see family. Nobody got sick from it.
As far as that nonsense with virtual health visists for serious issues, they should be sued. Period the end.
It's unconscionable that you couldn't see a doctor for so long.
You chance of dying of cancer is way higher than dying of Covid. Especially as a younger person.
I cannot believe how the whole world has stopped and nothing else matters.

Posted 10/12/20 5:39 PM
 

Dani922
Here's to new beginnings

Member since 10/07

7260 total posts

Name:
Danielle

Re: Relationships changing

Posted by Straightarrow

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by FirstMate



Also, my BFF recently had a baby and refuses to let anyone meet the baby, including her parents (1st grandbaby BTW!). This is someone who was literally in the delivery room with me when I had my boys and she will not allow me to meet him. Only on Facetime. She works as an OR RN and has allowed all of her OR friends to meet the baby because they know proper precautions. I'm not a leper, I'm not sick and I know how to wash my hands and wear a mask, thank you. Its very hurtful.



Could you imagine that God forbid something happened to one of her parents and they passed away and never got to meet their first grandchild? I would think she'd be riddled with guilt forever after that...as she should be.
I think it's pretty disgusting if you ask me.
My parents would be so angry and hurt if I did that and would probably disown me completely. And I wouldn't blame them one bit
People have gone off the deep end. I'm sorry but they have



My good friend, her mother died, not of covid, in April and it was devastating to her because she was keeping herself and her kids away from her parents. She has a ton of regret that she missed out on time with her mother and it truly broke her heart.



Yup. My mother passed the first week of May from cancer. She had come out of the hospital after complications from radiation days before the lockdown started. We knew she had limited time, but they meant like a couple years hopefully, definitely not weeks. She passed from a very rare complication that nobody could've ever seen coming. We "broke the quarantine rules" twice in April to visit because we missed her so much. She got to spend time with her grandkids & rub my pregnant belly & talk to the grandson she'd never end up meeting. I'm so glad we did because the next time we saw her she was unconscious in a hospital bed & we were there to say our goodbyes.

You can bet my family is seeing each other. We take precautions, but we're not hiding out. Because you just don't know. When my son was born last month he met his family. Hand sanitizer & masks & no visits if sick.

Posted 10/12/20 6:30 PM
 
Pages: 1 [2]
 

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