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Angel321
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Member since 4/08 15553 total posts
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Question Regarding Work/Fertility
Hi Ladies -
If this month, we do not get pregnant, DH & I will be heading to a fertility specialist in NJ (which is where we live).
I'm 33 1/2 and my doc informed us that after 6 months of trying, we should get to a specialist, because of the length of time infertility treatments can take (dh is 38).
My question.... Have any of you shared the infertility info/stuff with your employer? Our first appointment, we were told can be up to 2 hours..and i don't know what happens after that..
My FORMER manager, i wouldn't hesitate for a second, he was more of a friend (and still is) than manager, but my current one....not even close. He pretends to care, but does NOT (to be frank, he is from a culture that does not think of women in the highest regard, unfortunately).
Should I go in and talk to him about what's going on? We have a flexible schedule at work, so the time won't be a big deal, but do you think warning him that i may be missing chunks of time for last minute stuff would be necessary?
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Posted 8/19/08 12:52 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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mtg1970
We love summer!
Member since 5/05 1063 total posts
Name:
Teresa
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Re: Question Regarding Work/Fertility
When we cycled the 2nd time around I told my immediate bosses that we were under going fertility treatments. One of my bosses ended up adopting because of failed IVF so he understood what it entailed.
If i had people I worked for that I didn't think would understand then I would not tell them. For the most part you really only end up taking 2 days for every cycle (the ER & ET). BW is done early in the AM at the clinic and I usually just go straight to work after.
But if you think they would give you a hard time for taking time off then tell them you have a series of DR appts for tests.
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| Posted 8/19/08 12:59 PM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: Question Regarding Work/Fertility
Posted by mtg1970
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But if you think they would give you a hard time for taking time off then tell them you have a series of DR appts for tests.
I agree with this...you don't have to tell them it's fertility related. You can just say that you may be late here and there and will need to take a day or two off for medical testing. No need to go any deeper than that.
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| Posted 8/19/08 1:04 PM |
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KrisT
Two Boys for Me!!
Member since 1/07 5213 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Question Regarding Work/Fertility
Posted by Gertyrae
Posted by mtg1970
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But if you think they would give you a hard time for taking time off then tell them you have a series of DR appts for tests.
I agree with this...you don't have to tell them it's fertility related. You can just say that you may be late here and there and will need to take a day or two off for medical testing. No need to go any deeper than that.
I agree with this too. All of my monitoring and bloodwork is done early in the morning so it does not interfere with work. Next month, I am having a procedure done and will need to miss a day off work. I am just saying that it's a medical procedure.
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| Posted 8/19/08 1:11 PM |
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MAYBEPREGERS
LIF Infant
Member since 1/08 118 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question Regarding Work/Fertility
I travel a lot for work and also have a rough commute so I had to tell my boss. I had to let him know that I can't travel the month of Sept and will be in late more than often. Fortunately I am close with him and felt comfortable discussing the process with him. He knew all about my ectopic and surgery, etc. I think he knew this was coming.
Having said that, if you are not comfortable you don't have to tell your boss what kind of tests/treatments you are receiving. Like the other ladies said, you do have to tell him that you will be out, late, etc and that it is for medical reasons. You don't have to tell him what it's for.
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| Posted 8/19/08 1:50 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Question Regarding Work/Fertility
I only told my boss when I was getting ready for IVF because I knew there wouldn't be much notice when I would have to take off. For example, I found ot on Saturday of my 2nd IVF cycle that I would have my egg retrieval on Monday. But I have a cool relationship with my boss and he was very understanding.
Are you considering RMANJ?
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| Posted 8/19/08 1:56 PM |
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Angel321
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Member since 4/08 15553 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question Regarding Work/Fertility
thank you so much for the responses...sincerely.
i don't think i'll be telling him 'what is going on'...but just that i have to have some testing done, if he asks (and he won't), i'll tell him.
MrsRbk - yes - that's who my doc referred me to. Do you have any experience with them? I'll be seeing Dr. Bohrer(sp?).
I called earlier and my appointment is for the 16th of September. She said it was good that I called when I did, because they book out 2-3 weeks in advance.
Another positive is that the week of my appointment, i SHOULD be ovulating...so it may be the perfect time to see them.
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| Posted 8/19/08 2:06 PM |
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LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis
Member since 8/06 11613 total posts
Name:
L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)
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Re: Question Regarding Work/Fertility
I actually told my old boss...especially because that was when I was going through IVF, but I didn't tell my new boss what was going on.
You will have to take off short notice if you have to do IVF. IUI, if you can go into work late it won't be an issue.
Lots of luck and let us know how this cycle goes  
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| Posted 8/19/08 2:11 PM |
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babyfaith
Onward and Upward!
Member since 2/08 3210 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question Regarding Work/Fertility
I did not tell any of my bosses until I officially started fertility treatments and knew that I might be late to work a few days out of the month. I was very vague but one of my bosses figured it out. Depending on your RE's office hours and when you need to be at work, you might not even have that issue and can keep things private. I did, however, tell my boss I needed to take this summer off for IVF (I work in a school and have the flexibility to do that). I also recommend that you use a RE that has an office close to your home or work to cut down on some of the stress of the appointments.
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| Posted 8/19/08 2:14 PM |
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Angel321
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Member since 4/08 15553 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question Regarding Work/Fertility
Posted by babyfaith
I did not tell any of my bosses until I officially started fertility treatments and knew that I might be late to work a few days out of the month. I was very vague but one of my bosses figured it out. Depending on your RE's office hours and when you need to be at work, you might not even have that issue and can keep things private. I did, however, tell my boss I needed to take this summer off for IVF (I work in a school and have the flexibility to do that). I also recommend that you use a RE that has an office close to your home or work to cut down on some of the stress of the appointments.
That was definitely one of the reasons I chose the office that I did for the specialist (they have 4 locations).
On my way to work, I drive past the town the specialist is in....so it's not too out of the way - maybe 15 minutes from home, 15 minutes from work.
Their office hours seem great: Offering the most extended hours of any IVF practice in New Jersey, these offices are open for morning monitoring and appointments from 6:00am to 4:00 pm, 5 days a week, 365 days a year.
Message edited 8/19/2008 2:20:08 PM.
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| Posted 8/19/08 2:18 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Question Regarding Work/Fertility
Posted by davenjess
thank you so much for the responses...sincerely.
i don't think i'll be telling him 'what is going on'...but just that i have to have some testing done, if he asks (and he won't), i'll tell him.
MrsRbk - yes - that's who my doc referred me to. Do you have any experience with them? I'll be seeing Dr. Bohrer(sp?).
I called earlier and my appointment is for the 16th of September. She said it was good that I called when I did, because they book out 2-3 weeks in advance.
Another positive is that the week of my appointment, i SHOULD be ovulating...so it may be the perfect time to see them.
You have FM.
also, even if you are ovulating, they will not do anything that cycle. No treatment will be done until they run all tests (bloodwork, exam, etc...) I had just gotten my +OPK the day before my initial consult and they would not do anything.
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| Posted 8/19/08 2:20 PM |
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Angel321
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Member since 4/08 15553 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question Regarding Work/Fertility
Posted by MrsRbk
Posted by davenjess
thank you so much for the responses...sincerely.
i don't think i'll be telling him 'what is going on'...but just that i have to have some testing done, if he asks (and he won't), i'll tell him.
MrsRbk - yes - that's who my doc referred me to. Do you have any experience with them? I'll be seeing Dr. Bohrer(sp?).
I called earlier and my appointment is for the 16th of September. She said it was good that I called when I did, because they book out 2-3 weeks in advance.
Another positive is that the week of my appointment, i SHOULD be ovulating...so it may be the perfect time to see them.
You have FM.
also, even if you are ovulating, they will not do anything that cycle. No treatment will be done until they run all tests (bloodwork, exam, etc...) I had just gotten my +OPK the day before my initial consult and they would not do anything.
Oh - i know they won't be able to do anything, but to see if it IS happening, or that it's happening CORRECTLY would be my concern. I was told several years ago that i have cysts on both of my ovaries and that's why i was put on the birth control pill...
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| Posted 8/19/08 2:21 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Question Regarding Work/Fertility
Posted by davenjess
Posted by babyfaith
I did not tell any of my bosses until I officially started fertility treatments and knew that I might be late to work a few days out of the month. I was very vague but one of my bosses figured it out. Depending on your RE's office hours and when you need to be at work, you might not even have that issue and can keep things private. I did, however, tell my boss I needed to take this summer off for IVF (I work in a school and have the flexibility to do that). I also recommend that you use a RE that has an office close to your home or work to cut down on some of the stress of the appointments.
That was definitely one of the reasons I chose the office that I did for the specialist (they have 4 locations).
On my way to work, I drive past the town the specialist is in....so it's not too out of the way - maybe 15 minutes from home, 15 minutes from work.
Their office hours seem great: Offering the most extended hours of any IVF practice in New Jersey, these offices are open for morning monitoring and appointments from 6:00am to 4:00 pm, 5 days a week, 365 days a year.
Monitoring is only 6:00am-7:30am. They only do IUI's at specific times of the morning as well. Retrievals and Transfers also are only done during certain times of the day.
ETA: The satelite offices are open 5 days a week, the main office where all IVF procedures are done is open 7 days a week. You'd have to go there if you needed to be monitored on a weekend.
Message edited 8/19/2008 2:23:42 PM.
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| Posted 8/19/08 2:22 PM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: Question Regarding Work/Fertility
I told my boss even before our consult since we knew that we were dealing with Male factor....I knew going in that I would need to take time off at short notice & I didn't want it to come out of the blue (since i rarely take off). Plus the office I work in is small & we are all like family, so I wanted the extra support in case I needed it.
I try to make all my appts for early AM or after 3 when I get out of work...Luckily my RE is very accommodating...
Message edited 8/19/2008 2:25:25 PM.
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| Posted 8/19/08 2:22 PM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Question Regarding Work/Fertility
Fortunately, my boss is my father, so he knows everything already, and understands when I leave for awhile or come in a little late. I don't make a habit of it though. I get my BW done at 7 in the AM and go straight to work.
I wouldn't say anything until you know what route you are going to have to take. (I'm not sure if you know that already). If you start first on clomid or something, you will just have a lot of early morning appointments, and won't miss much.
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| Posted 8/19/08 2:22 PM |
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kmac
Two under two!
Member since 5/07 3703 total posts
Name:
Kris
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Re: Question Regarding Work/Fertility
I told my boss when I was going through IVF b/c the office I have to go to in the summer is so far from my doctors office that I knew I would be getting out there late sometimes. She was great about it and told me to do what I need to do.
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| Posted 8/19/08 4:06 PM |
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-BabyMiracle-
When will my ship come in?
Member since 9/07 1056 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Question Regarding Work/Fertility
My boss knows that I am going to be going through some "treatment" that will have me out of the office for at least 3 full days and late on other days. She knows that it will be short notice. (I am doing IVF later in the year)
She has stressed to me to not be worried about it and that my health comes first. I kind of feel bad because she probably thinks I have some kind of disease or ailment. Although I completely trust her, I do not trust my company as a whole backstabbing me and just overall making things difficult for me in some way. So I am keeping it all to myself but that is just me. I personally don't think it is anyones business what you are going through. This is a very personal thing. Good luck.
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| Posted 8/19/08 8:12 PM |
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Angel321
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Member since 4/08 15553 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question Regarding Work/Fertility
i cannot tell you how much all of your replies mean to me.
this was one of my first posts on this board & I was so nervous!!!
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| Posted 8/19/08 10:43 PM |
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